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Jcoursey
blog-0093478001376891412.jpgIm Justin, Im 21 years old, and here I am, it's 1:40 in the morning, I have to be up at 4:45 to get ready for work.
Tonight, as happens some nights, I cannot sleep, something unsteady rushes through me.
Recently i have lost much weight due to finding out a couple weeks ago through diagnosis that i have celiacs disease and i have cut out gluten all together.
All my life i have had problems with my stomach, constant diarrhea, stomach cramping, inability to regain appetite, depression and anxiety. I even tried to commit suicide on 12/12/12.
I am now finding out that celiac may be a contributing factor to everything i have been through. It would seem as if this should be...i don't know....a good thing. But the truth is i don't know if it is, or just a curse waving in front of my face, constantly watching me struggle, yet it had been hidden from sight for so many years. Could it possibly be true, Dropping out of college, nearly finding out whether or not hell exists, and being completely unable to control the way my body had felt, all of this could not be caused solely from a disease....or could it. I'm sorry for being so depressive tonight, i just don't know where to turn and this is the best i can do. I hope now that i may sleep, i hope now that i may start my journey through the rough times i have placed myself in through my actions, i just hope this passes, i hope some day i can be the Fiance that my woman deserves, and i just hope there is someone out there who understands.
thank you.