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My Sister Doesn't Believe Ingluten Intolerance! ugh...so frustrating.

#1 User is offline   nu_to_no_glu Icon

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Posted 21 November 2009 - 08:12 PM

I was diagnosed with Gluten Intolerance several months ago by an allergist/immunologist who practices both conventional and some holistic medicine, never had an endoscopy bc I was fed up with drs and the constant amount of medicines and IBS diagnosis'. My husband has suffered from depression, ADD, etc for quite some time. I decided to force him to go and see my dr, bc the more I read, the more I'm convinced he would benefit from a gluten-free diet as well. Guess what...turns out-he is intolerant!

Anyway, to get to my rant...my sister is a dr, a family practitioner. I told her about my husband's diagnosis and she said "I don't know what to say about that, I don't really believe that exists" Huh??? So annoying and frustrating. When I was having "accidents" in my pants, making trips to the ER, in constant pain, and going from dr to dr,always frustrated, she would get mad at me and tell me it was me,and the drs knew what they were doing and I needed to listen to them (even though,after 30 years, I think I knew something wasn't right). Anyway, I guess I'm just annoyed for someone to be so closed minded.I'm not pushing my convictions on anyone, but there's no denying that I am so much improved from my diet. Argh, my other frustration is, at this point my husband and I are convinced that our 2 year old needs to be on the gluten-free diet as well, and she loves having him over. I don't want this to ruin that, either. So frustrating! I already doubted myself so many times before my diagnosis, this is not helping :(
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#2 User is offline   tarnalberry Icon

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Posted 21 November 2009 - 10:19 PM

It's not widely accepted yet that you can have non-celiac gluten intolerance. You could - relatively fairly, since you haven't done testing - say "we have a presumed diagnosis of celiac disease." If she asks for details on the presumed, you can say "we don't have an endoscopy, but we have dietary challenge results that were positive. we, and the doctor, are working with this diagnosis now." End of story.

(Of course, that's a bit of a fib, but one I would consider for "the sake of family".)
Tiffany aka "Have I Mentioned Chocolate Lately?"
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#3 User is offline   ravenwoodglass Icon

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Posted 22 November 2009 - 02:05 AM

View Postnu_to_no_glu, on Nov 21 2009, 09:12 PM, said:

I was diagnosed with Gluten Intolerance several months ago by an allergist/immunologist who practices both conventional and some holistic medicine


You were diagnosed by a doctor. He didn't just pull the diagnosis out of his butt. I am sure you had considerable symptoms that lead him to suspect that you might be celiac and the elimination of gluten and the resolution of your symptoms proved that his suspected diagnosis was correct. Unfortunately some doctors get a 'god complex' when they get their degrees and think they know everything and that modern medicines and the 'proof' provided by testing is the only way to diagnose any disease. With celiac the tests are not as good as would be liked and up to 20% of us are missed by conventional medical testing. This is accepted by the NIH and acknowledged by them. Your sister has a lot to learn and I feel sorry for all the folks she treats who may have celiac and will suffer for years because she only trusts the tests that leave much to desired.
I hate to say this but I would limit her visits with your child to your home or outings with you. You need to keep your child safe and that trumps keeping your sister happy. I hope she wakes up soon. Her eyes should have opened with the resolution of your health issues. Perhaps she is having symptoms herself and is deep in denial. Whatever you need to ignore her and do what you know is best for your family. With the high rate of celiacs in this country and the strong inheritance pattern of this genetic difference chances are a celiac diagnosis is in her future or her childrens.
Courage does not always roar, sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying
"I will try again tommorrow" (Mary Anne Radmacher)


celiac 49 years - Misdiagnosed for 45
Blood tested and repeatedly negative
Diagnosed by Allergist with elimination diet and diagnosis confirmed by GI in 2002
Misdiagnoses for 15 years were IBS-D, ataxia, migraines, anxiety, depression, fibromyalgia, parathesias, arthritis, livedo reticularis, hairloss, premature menopause, osteoporosis, kidney damage, diverticulosis, prediabetes and ulcers, dermatitis herpeformis
All bold resoved or went into remission with proper diagnosis of Celiac November 2002
Some residual nerve damage remains as of 2006- this has continued to resolve after eliminating soy in 2007

Mother died of celiac related cancer at 56
Twin brother died as a result of autoimmune liver destruction at age 15

Children 2 with Ulcers, GERD, Depression, , 1 with DH, 1 with severe growth stunting (male adult 5 feet)both finally diagnosed Celiac through blood testing and 1 with endo 6 months after Mom


Positive to Soy and Casien also Aug 2007

Gluten Sensitivity Gene Test Aug 2007
HLA-DQB1 Molecular analysis, Allele 1 0303

HLA-DQB1 Molecular analysis, Allele 2 0303

Serologic equivalent: HLA-DQ 3,3 (Subtype 9,9)
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#4 User is offline   nu_to_no_glu Icon

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Posted 22 November 2009 - 08:38 AM

Thanks! Both excellent advice. I'm so happy I can come here and vent. I don't know why I get so personally upset about other people. This whole experience has made me somewhat jaded with the medical industry, yet alone my own family. Funny, my dr didn't have to prescribe me any medication, or sell me anything...yet, he still makes a living *sarcasm* and he still wants to treat me. On a side note, my sister does have MS, and I've told her to look in to gluten-free and MS connections. I guess I can't have these conversations with her, since she's the expert *more sarcasm* I guess I just need to focus on my little family, and ignore her ignorance.
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#5 User is offline   Alphawave Icon

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Post icon  Posted 22 November 2009 - 12:36 PM

Hi there. I have some posts on this subject, as I am getting flack back from certain family members. But, I note that you are dealing with a "doctor" in the family. I am a 55 yr old nurse, and I can tell you that plenty of doctors have a stiff-necked approach with patients. Many have certain old school teachings that doesn't allow them to think outside the box. Others, are overworked, impatient and rigid in their diagnosises. Some don't want to be told ANYTHING that they don't know already. You KNOW you are right, and your sister need to have enough advocacy for YOU, the patient, to listen to your plight and final diagnosis, and of course treatment :gluten free diet. Here is how I would approach a medically trained family member. Print up articles on Pub Med that discuss Celiacs and research. Silently send them to her or hand them off to her. If she is any kind of doc at all she will at least read the published materials. Don't argue or try to "win her over". I am sorry you are having this trouble, but don't give in, and if you even THINK your child has inherited this problem, send gluten-free food over to your sister's house when you send your child.

I do know how frustrating this matter is, as I am going through it, but with ignoramouses in my family. We need to stick together!
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#6 User is offline   Ahorsesoul Icon

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Posted 22 November 2009 - 01:31 PM

What a fun project, to convince her she should try a gluten free diet.
1960s-had symptoms-could have been before but don't remember
1970s-told had colitis or nervous stomach-was given phenobarbital, felt great but still had symptoms
Me, dd and ds diagnosed with Lactose Intolerance
2000-osteopenia
2001-had stroke because of medications I was given
June 2003-saw Chiropractor who specialized in nutrition: Celiac Disease not Lactose Intolerance, went gluten free with once in awhile cheating, off soy and dairy for about 6 months
June 2003-found excellent doctor for fibromyalgia (who has found out she has Celiac Disease)
May 2006-went gluten free with NO cheating-excellent! Made all the difference in the world
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#7 User is offline   lizard00 Icon

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Posted 22 November 2009 - 02:59 PM

View Postnu_to_no_glu, on Nov 22 2009, 11:38 AM, said:

my sister does have MS, and I've told her to look in to gluten-free and MS connections.


WELL... I don't believe in MS, so it MUST not be real :P

Glad she's not my GP.
Be yourself, everyone else is taken.
Oscar Wilde

Gluten free November 2007
IgA Deficient, Neg Bloodwork, Double DQ2 Positive
Dietary and Genetic Diagnosis June 2, 2008
OK... guess I was wrong. Cutting out the dairy again.... was fun while it lasted.
Soy free Jan 09

Celiac.com - Celiac Disease Board Moderator
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#8 User is offline   ravenwoodglass Icon

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Posted 22 November 2009 - 03:32 PM

View Postnu_to_no_glu, on Nov 22 2009, 08:38 AM, said:

Thanks! Both excellent advice. I'm so happy I can come here and vent. I don't know why I get so personally upset about other people. This whole experience has made me somewhat jaded with the medical industry, yet alone my own family. Funny, my dr didn't have to prescribe me any medication, or sell me anything...yet, he still makes a living *sarcasm* and he still wants to treat me. On a side note, my sister does have MS, and I've told her to look in to gluten-free and MS connections. I guess I can't have these conversations with her, since she's the expert *more sarcasm* I guess I just need to focus on my little family, and ignore her ignorance.


Unless your sister had a spinal tap that confirmed MS she really needs to try the diet. My ataxia was misdiagnosed as MS, especially since they found the white matter lesions on the MRI. But since those lesions were not quite in the right places eventually my neuro did a spinal which he decided ruled out the MS. The symptoms of ataxia can mimic MS very strongly. I hope she wakes up soon. It could change her life for the better even if she isn't having strong gut symptoms.
Courage does not always roar, sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying
"I will try again tommorrow" (Mary Anne Radmacher)


celiac 49 years - Misdiagnosed for 45
Blood tested and repeatedly negative
Diagnosed by Allergist with elimination diet and diagnosis confirmed by GI in 2002
Misdiagnoses for 15 years were IBS-D, ataxia, migraines, anxiety, depression, fibromyalgia, parathesias, arthritis, livedo reticularis, hairloss, premature menopause, osteoporosis, kidney damage, diverticulosis, prediabetes and ulcers, dermatitis herpeformis
All bold resoved or went into remission with proper diagnosis of Celiac November 2002
Some residual nerve damage remains as of 2006- this has continued to resolve after eliminating soy in 2007

Mother died of celiac related cancer at 56
Twin brother died as a result of autoimmune liver destruction at age 15

Children 2 with Ulcers, GERD, Depression, , 1 with DH, 1 with severe growth stunting (male adult 5 feet)both finally diagnosed Celiac through blood testing and 1 with endo 6 months after Mom


Positive to Soy and Casien also Aug 2007

Gluten Sensitivity Gene Test Aug 2007
HLA-DQB1 Molecular analysis, Allele 1 0303

HLA-DQB1 Molecular analysis, Allele 2 0303

Serologic equivalent: HLA-DQ 3,3 (Subtype 9,9)
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#9 User is offline   Lynayah Icon

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Posted 22 November 2009 - 03:38 PM

View Postnu_to_no_glu, on Nov 21 2009, 08:12 PM, said:

I was diagnosed with Gluten Intolerance several months ago by an allergist/immunologist who practices both conventional and some holistic medicine, never had an endoscopy bc I was fed up with drs and the constant amount of medicines and IBS diagnosis'. My husband has suffered from depression, ADD, etc for quite some time. I decided to force him to go and see my dr, bc the more I read, the more I'm convinced he would benefit from a gluten-free diet as well. Guess what...turns out-he is intolerant!

Anyway, to get to my rant...my sister is a dr, a family practitioner. I told her about my husband's diagnosis and she said "I don't know what to say about that, I don't really believe that exists" Huh??? So annoying and frustrating. When I was having "accidents" in my pants, making trips to the ER, in constant pain, and going from dr to dr,always frustrated, she would get mad at me and tell me it was me,and the drs knew what they were doing and I needed to listen to them (even though,after 30 years, I think I knew something wasn't right). Anyway, I guess I'm just annoyed for someone to be so closed minded.I'm not pushing my convictions on anyone, but there's no denying that I am so much improved from my diet. Argh, my other frustration is, at this point my husband and I are convinced that our 2 year old needs to be on the gluten-free diet as well, and she loves having him over. I don't want this to ruin that, either. So frustrating! I already doubted myself so many times before my diagnosis, this is not helping :(


My reply to her . . . "I don't know what to say about that . . . an estimated one in seven people have gluten sensitivity . . . and any physician who is not up on it is not doing her homework."

GRRRRRRRR!

Sadly, it is doctors like her who make the gluten-free community crazy. She needs to learn. Perhaps you are meant to teach her, as painful as it may be. Everything happens for a reason.

In the meantime, she's being a jerk.

I hope she responds. I hope she will learn.

If not, you hold her, and I'LL HIT HER!

Hugs,
Lyn
Very High Gliadin - Biopsy, Gene Test Neg. Diagnosis: Non-Celiac Highly Gluten Intolerant.

Pre-diagnosis: Weight gain, swelling, diarrhea, mouth sores, back pain, body aches, fatigue, muscle weakness, BRAIN FOG, runny nose, recurrent sinus infections, bruising, low white cell count (whole life), and more. My feet were so bad, I could hardly walk. Toward the end: Chronic Vit. D deficiency (almost no D in my body despite a quality multi-vit. each day).

There is hope! Gluten-free since Sept. '09, and I have my life back - I feel better than in many, many years!

Favorite quotation: "You must do the thing you think you cannot do." - Eleanor Roosevelt
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#10 User is offline   Ahorsesoul Icon

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Posted 22 November 2009 - 04:26 PM

View Postlizard00, on Nov 22 2009, 04:59 PM, said:

WELL... I don't believe in MS, so it MUST not be real :P
Glad she's not my GP.



Love it!
1960s-had symptoms-could have been before but don't remember
1970s-told had colitis or nervous stomach-was given phenobarbital, felt great but still had symptoms
Me, dd and ds diagnosed with Lactose Intolerance
2000-osteopenia
2001-had stroke because of medications I was given
June 2003-saw Chiropractor who specialized in nutrition: Celiac Disease not Lactose Intolerance, went gluten free with once in awhile cheating, off soy and dairy for about 6 months
June 2003-found excellent doctor for fibromyalgia (who has found out she has Celiac Disease)
May 2006-went gluten free with NO cheating-excellent! Made all the difference in the world
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#11 User is offline   nu_to_no_glu Icon

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Posted 23 November 2009 - 11:38 AM

View Postravenwoodglass, on Nov 22 2009, 06:32 PM, said:

Unless your sister had a spinal tap that confirmed MS she really needs to try the diet. My ataxia was misdiagnosed as MS, especially since they found the white matter lesions on the MRI. But since those lesions were not quite in the right places eventually my neuro did a spinal which he decided ruled out the MS. The symptoms of ataxia can mimic MS very strongly. I hope she wakes up soon. It could change her life for the better even if she isn't having strong gut symptoms.



Hmmm...she was diagnosed bc she lost vision in one eye (optic neuritis) and lesions showed from a MRI. She was on rebif for a while, and then diagnosed with lymphoma. After chemo and radiation, she had a bone marrow transplant and now she doesn't have any MS symptoms, besides her vision never fully returning to the one eye. It's been quite a while and she's been through a lot, but she's pretty much recovered. I've tried to initiate conversation about gluten, but as you can tell, she is pretty resistant to the idea. So, rock+hard place = me.
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#12 User is offline   nu_to_no_glu Icon

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Posted 23 November 2009 - 11:48 AM

View PostAhorsesoul, on Nov 22 2009, 06:26 PM, said:

Love it!



OMG...she'd get so angry if I said that to her...hahahahhahaha...she's not the nicest person, either. Maybe I should whip this one out at the dinner table on Thanksgiving :)
:lol:
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#13 User is offline   Salax Icon

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Posted 23 November 2009 - 12:08 PM

I love that come back. I totally would pull that out at the TG dinner table.

There are 2 types of people in this world:

1. There are the ones that learn the easy way/willing to learn.
2. There are the ones that have to learn things the hard way.

Sometimes you got to "smack them upside the head". She needs a wakeup call, fast! She may only learn by aggressive means.

Besides what’s the worst that can happen, she doesn't talk to you? So what, if she's a mean person, who cares....

That's just me. :D

I wish you the best of luck with this and the false reality your sil lives in....Oh ya, and the rest of us are not really celiac disease suffers......it’s all in our heads...."does that mean that I am crazy?" Been told that by a few docs....idiots! WOOT! Sorry had to throw the sarcasm out there...LOL.

Maybe the problem with her is if you can't treat it with a pill.....it doesn't exist?????
Salax
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Celiac Disease (Feb 2009, originally 2000...misdiagnosed for 9 years)
Gall Bladder Failure (working at 13%), Removed July 2009
Casein Intolerance
Gastroparesis (2000)
Hashimoto’s Disease (June 2006)
Diverticulitis (Feb 2009)
IBS (2000)
Endometriosis
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#14 User is offline   TrillumHunter Icon

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Posted 23 November 2009 - 12:20 PM

Don't do that. You are a better person than that. Be calm and be positive about the great changes in your health going gluten-free has brought about for you. If you find a journal article about MS and Celiac, and there are plenty, pass it to her without much comment. The link is real and she could be damaging her health by continuing to eat gluten. This could be a matter of life and death for your sister. Lure the horse to water with sugar; don't drag her down. :D

I'm not saying she hasn't been unkind. She should know better, especially as a physician herself. I'm sorry she's been cruel to you.

I'm one of those also misdiagnosed with MS when I first got sick. Being correctly diagnosed and starting the gluten-free diet made my symptoms go away for the most part.


Take care and be well! Better for you to love her even if she hates you.
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#15 User is offline   Ahorsesoul Icon

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Posted 23 November 2009 - 01:50 PM

View Postnu_to_no_glu, on Nov 23 2009, 01:38 PM, said:

So, rock+hard place = me.


I disagree with your statement. Should it not read:
So, rock+hard place = your sister

It's her loss. You've tried to give her another option to feel better in her life. I am proud of you.
1960s-had symptoms-could have been before but don't remember
1970s-told had colitis or nervous stomach-was given phenobarbital, felt great but still had symptoms
Me, dd and ds diagnosed with Lactose Intolerance
2000-osteopenia
2001-had stroke because of medications I was given
June 2003-saw Chiropractor who specialized in nutrition: Celiac Disease not Lactose Intolerance, went gluten free with once in awhile cheating, off soy and dairy for about 6 months
June 2003-found excellent doctor for fibromyalgia (who has found out she has Celiac Disease)
May 2006-went gluten free with NO cheating-excellent! Made all the difference in the world
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