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Hadrian

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About Hadrian

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  1. Hi! I'm Dolan (random Irish last name that my parents decided was a good first name xD). I'm a 15 year old guy from Florida and I've been diagnosed when I was around 6 or 7 I believe.
  2. I've had anxiety, depression, and moderate schizophrenia.
  3. Not sure if this is the proper place to post this, but here goes ^__^ So, I was diagnosed with a gluten allergy when I was about 6 (2001). My parents cut the gluten/wheat out of my diet, but things gradually got lax and we finally just stopped monitoring my diet. Things started getting bad in 8th grade (when I was 13). I'm a Christian (bear with me, it's related to the overall topic xD), and life was going pretty good. Then, I started to get very bad stomach aches. My folks and I didn't really think much of it, but the stomach aches didn't go away and I started occasionally vomiting (every week). Around that time, the anxiety/depression kicked in. I have a neurological condition called sensory motor integration, so along with other things, I think in many different levels of thought. Like, when I was a little kid and would trip and scrape my knees, I would get extremely paranoid as I'd think of infection, and bleeding to death, etc. As a result, the anxiety exacerbated everything. I began to worry about my faith, doubting what I believed, and stressing out. I would think about everything that could go wrong, and I couldn't shake this anxiety. Things got worse. My parents didn't know what was going on with me, as they didn't know about the neurological affects of gluten intolerance/celiacs disease. It got to the point where I began to doubt my own existence, and once or twice, even had homicidal thoughts (which thankfully I was able to control). We finally found a doctor, and found that my anxiety/depression were all caused by my allergies. My allergy was so out of control that I had a fungal infection in my stomach that was eating away at the stomach lining. So, we cut the wheat/gluten out of my diet. All the anxiety/depression went away, and things went back to normal. My faith took a hit from the anxiety, but it went pretty much back to normal. I wasn't quite out of the woods yet though. This last May, I started getting stomach aches, not as severe as before, but present. My 10th grade year had been difficult near the end (first, I found out that my best friend of 7 years had a serious cutting problem after I noticed deep cuts on his arms and legs, and then that he was bisexual. I don't mind bisexual people, but I mean, it was still a shock). Once summer started, I began to worry that, since it happened to him, could it happen to me? Now once again, I don't mind gay/bisexual people, but due to my faith/the fact that I'm straight, I didn't want this to happen to me. I didn't quite realize the level of my allergy again, and was unaware of the gluten in trace amounts that I was ingesting, as well as the milk, egg, peanuts, cashews, corn, and soy that I was also allergic to. Being a 15 year old, hormone plagued boy, I can kinda get aroused easily (this relates to the topic too, trust me xD). So, because of this and my wonderful sensory motor integration, I managed to become an anxious wreck and convinced myself that I was becoming gay. When I actually think about it, it's pretty ridiculous: because I was getting involuntary "tingling sensations," I somehow took this as becoming gay. Well, nonetheless, due to my anxiety, I developed an anxious response to men, kind of a phobia in fact. The anxiety kind of started getting out of control. I started doubting myself, my sexuality, and my faith (again >.<). It just kept getting worse, but this time, we decided to contact the doctor after only two months instead of a year and a half. So, we went to our local alternative medicine doctor. He diagnosed my other allergies via blood test, and told me that all my anxiety/depression/insane thoughts/physical symptoms were all allergy induced. This was a little less than two weeks ago. So my anxiety hasn't completely gone away: I still doubt/am anxious about losing my faith and becoming gay and stuff. I know that it's all ridiculous, but if you've had the anxiety problems, you know how irrational and consuming they are. I'm just attempting to avoid causing any mental scars, and just hoping that everything goes back to normal. I hear that detox time can take months, so I'll just take it one day at a time. Sorry for killing you all with my stream of consciousness, and I hope you can relate (if not, understand). Feel free to reply, I could definitely use some feedback! ~Hadrian