Until now, my posts were all approved by moderators before final submission because I'm a new member. THEY WERE ALL APPROVED!
I've been suddenly moderated for what was deemed offensive racial remarks, when I was clearly talking about dietary rules. I can't mention any specifics here, as per the board rules... can't say anything negative about anyone that supports toxic diets. Ironic, I think.
We are not allowed to raise awareness of certain toxic diets, and critique those diets? Or, discuss the rationality (irrationality) behind whomever created the diets? Even in a logical manner? I gave logical explanations, but those comments were also removed. And I can't offer a specific explanation now either. I'm keeping what I say within the guidelines here.
A toxic substance is toxic to anyone that eats it, no matter whom they might be or if it affects them or not. Gluten is toxic. Why can't we specifically point out which diets are wrong to have it?
THANK YOU so very much to everyone that offered me a more positive insight to how I should approach dealing with my problems, and all the dietary supplements I should try, bloodwork, etc... but my personal line has been crossed; If I can't critique, I can no longer comment. It's over. I won't bother to ask for any more help here.
This is my final post, but I'll leave for a week and then return next Sunday to ask the moderators to delete the entire thread, and close my account. Those who've followed it will, hopefully, understand what it was and why I am now personally offended. If I can't fully speak my mind about food, especially a specific diet that claims gluten is healthy, then this is definitely not the palce for me to seek help. It has become a toxic environment for me.
Now, maybe some of you can see why I get so angry. Thanks for sending me away more furious than I was before I came here to seek a little help.
Hmm, from advice I'd gotten elsewhere they talked like sublingual was a bit better for me than the chelated kind, but that I should definitely try taking both kinds. What about isotonic supplements? I had a calcium/magnesium mix of that stuff... is just all hype as well? Either case, I'll try switching over to chelated stuff for a while. Thanks for reminding me of methylfolate again, I almost did overlook it.. oops.
I know that cyanocobalamin is not actively toxic - until the body breaks off that part of molecule into it's plain toxic form, then the body recognizes it as toxic, then must use energy to expell it. I know it's practically a negligible amount so *maybe* I could come to terms with voluntarily ingesting poison... for the greater good lol. Telling someone it's ok to take poison does seem a bit oxymoronic, especially for someone with GI disorder(s).
Ahh so that's what that reflex is called! Maybe it only half integrated in me, I don't feel all too panicked all the time, but more like hypertensive or on edge... ready for action. It's why I instinctively always want to sit facing doors or windows because I've got to be ready for when THEY come to get us... "THEY who?" you might ask? Anyone out to do us harm; plenty of schizo-psycho people out there, wacked out on drugs; I've been around. And I've let my guard down before and learned my lesson. Not to mention, the motto "always be prepared" from my time in Scouts is permanently etched into my being. But you'll be glad to know that I no longer carry concealed weapons... I plan to 'Jackie Chan' my way out of any dangerous incidents in the future.
<<offensive material deleted by moderator>> I wish for them all to eat healthy, and if that means killing the wheat strain or outlawing it, so be it. Maybe in the distant future after peak oil has come and gone, and the world's population falls back down to it's normal baseline, some real changes could be made. Until then, we're refugees with no place to go.. Adapt and survive the best we can in a super toxic world. Good luck to all!
When I was typing out the list of supplements I take, I did notice how there was a lack of trace minerals and stuff like zinc, copper, etc. I used to take multi-vitamins that supplied it all, but stopped doing it because I couldn't find any without the cyanide-B12. I'll put it on my list to find something for my next order at Vitacost that will give me the right stuff... I'd been hoping to get the rest of what I needed from my regular habit of juicing. I suppose I do need more sublinguals to avoid GI malabsorption.
Gluten eating people (mainly their clothing) and their kitchens / dining rooms are indeed contaminated with gluten; and I've heard stories of super-sensitive celiacs reacting to simply walking into a place that regularly uses wheat/gluten. Bad advice to say otherwise that these people and places are not harmful. 100% free is extreme, unless it's still ok to breathe it in? Which doesn't make sense to me.
No more talk about beer, please... it's not a major concern for me, it was just one of the things I miss.... and it's one thing that I should avoid for other reasons... liver health... and stuff.
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I have noticed that some medications or herbal remedies, taken orally, have had the opposite effects on me. I can't remember where I heard this, but the only medicine we need is really just healthy food. I still need work on my diet, but I believe that many ailments can be solved in the long run with diet alone. And for the ones that can't be helped with just healthy eating, then, I strongly believe that's where a "survival of the fittest" ideology comes into play... or to put it another way, it's all genetic and there's nothing much more that can be done except to make sure I don't reproduce offspring... If I'm genetically predisposed to get sick all the time, then I'm certainly not passing it on to an innocent child.
I'll see what I can do in respect to getting some more bloodwork done.
A therapist I once visited, for meditation/massage/accupressure/etc. said that she could tell my adrenal glands were always overworked and that it's like my body is stuck in a fight-or-flight response. She figured it might have started from an early childhood trauma I received, which was a correct assumption. It's funny how one physiological disorder can cause other problems to manifest. I feel so broken sometimes, yet from an outward appearance I usually seem to be fine and others are relentless at expecting way too much of me.
It never helps to be compared to someone else with similar, or worse, disorders and then be expected to feel/act/perform just as good or better. I'm not them. I don't share the same goals and aspirations. What I want to do with my life is not the same. Apples and oranges. But, yeah, my family says they understand then come back at me with hostility because I'm not meeting their expectations. It was their gamble to raise me, they lost, so no need to make me feel like the loser. I need to make my own way... somehow... some day.. and I'll have to do it without their consent or approval. I'm not a part of them, I'm way too different. Oh crap I'm rambling again, sorry!
I know... it's like throwing gasoline on a fire. I'm sure very few people can claim to be 100% gluten-free. Any time you leave the sanctity of your gluten-free 'bubble', into a world where it floats around almost as much as the common mold spore, you're not gluten free either. I know, that makes us all mad. But what can we do? Literally live in a bubble? The house here should be almost 99% free of it, the utensils/pots/pans/etc. are washed thoroughly and kept from cross contamination, as are the foods I regularly eat. Yeah I slip up and do bad from time to time when I know I could have done more to avoid it, but those instances are becoming fewer and farther between.
I honestly can't tell much difference between getting trace amounts and
There's a myriad of other factors that possibly contribute to my lack of sleep, but I'll try harder to avoid even the trace amounts that I can't see.
I posted this in the "gluten intolerance and behavior" forum. Raging anger is behavior, and I'm having it because I hate avoiding gluten because I have at least an intolerance to it. I'm totally in the right place!
Awesome advice. It reminds me of a quote from a movie called 'Revolver' that says something like, "if you change the rules on what controls you, you change the rules on what you can control". I'm very guilty of letting too many things get to me and affect the way I feel, and my responses are wild sometimes. I'm way too passionate about things. I need to step back, breathe, and just try to accept the things I cannot change and pray for the ability to change the things I can (Serenity prayer, another incarnation of the same advice ).
I hope it does, but I still feel like my psychological desire to have what I can't have is more powerful; also, if I want to be crazy-serious about it, that would mean no more visits to my Grandparent's house. It's terrible having to tell them I'm not going to visit them anymore because their house is poison to me. And I'm sure they're covered in gluten almost all the time, so that'd mean no visits FROM them too. No hugs either. And other family/friends? Well, that living in a bubble scenario is starting to make more sense.
That kinda freaks me out, but yeah my immune system has been total crap since early childhood. I'm much better now with the diet I try to adhere to... maybe I need to take it to extreme levels and shut myself off from the outside gluten-filled world... I always feel a bit wired too. Ok, very wired. A doctor once thought I was on crack or meth because my blood pressure and heart rate were very high even though I was baseline calm... and now knowing that gluten does affect the body that way, it's definitely a factor. I'm a skinny guy with a high rate of metabolism, so I'm naturally wired up too. It's gonna be a long journey to figure this out, but once I've tackled the problem, another one will rear its ugly head to ruin me; it always does; but I don't want to get into all the other problems I've had in the past. Trading one illness for another, and another...
Oh, I also forgot to mention that I did go to see a specialist about 15 or 20 years ago to help find out why I couldn't sleep. All I remember from it was that they put electrodes all over my head and had me to lay down in an extremely uncomfortable bed and told me to go to sleep and they'd see what was wrong... insane, right? My problem was that I couldn't go to sleep and they wanted me to sleep on demand to see what the machine would tell them about my brainwaves.
Well, I was kid and totally at the mercy of my parents/doctors to help me out, as I couldn't do anything on my own. No more help was given to me, and I've spent most of my life deprived of sleep.
In fact, I calculated that I've experienced an extra 10+ years of consciousness (wakefulness) due to the hours I've missed every night of my life. I've barely managed to get just enough rest to keep me alive... and during the small amounts of time that I do sleep, I'm dreaming almost the entire time... so that's like being awake in my sleep too.
I can't afford to pay for sleep clinics and multitudes of tests, and whatever.. Don't think it'd really matter now, though. I didn't get the help when I needed it so many years ago... My brain's hardwired into the person I've become now, it's too late to change it.. Who knows what kind of nice person I could have become...
I really don't care about much anymore except just trying to rest and recover from a lifetime of sleep-deprived agony. I just want to sleep. I don't want to work (well, yes I do, but only if I can sleep when I need sleep). I want to sleep. I need to sleep.
I don't need demanding schedules of work, and worrying about bills, etc.. I need to sleep first. THEN, maybe, I can go and be a productive person. But I can't sleep. Can't hold a job for very long until it almost kills me. Can't pay for the help I need. I'm homeless but not houseless. I'm a failure, and I've accepted it.
Just trying to make the best of a conundrum I'm in.... til the day I die. I've often thought of doing something so I can be sent to prison, and violently earn myself some quality solitary confinement... Get away from the stress of knowing I have to get a job to support myself, but to do that I need, sleep, to get a job.. I have to sleep... maybe without all the stress and being in solitary I could just concentrate on nothing else but relaxation. Total relaxation. Never having to worry about where my next meal comes from, or anything. Just time to rest and not be bothered by anyone.
I can't just throw what little money I have left from my last job into sleep therapies... if one doesn't work, I'll have nothing left to pay for the next alternative, so on and so forth...
I worked my butt off through school and college to now be homeless, sleepless, and insane. I dunno. More bad thoughts creeping in. Money money money... work work work... bills bills bills... I gotta do something, how do I function? Catch 22's and rocks and hard places galore.
School was fairly easy to get through, and all the time I missed wasn't a big factor because in school the work can be made up and handed in late for a decent grade. In the real world, you miss work, you miss out on earning money. That money's gone. Miss a bill, or whatever payment, and things are taken from you. Tragic.
I don't want everything just handed to me, I just need to un-screw myself so I can function as an independent individual. Without poisonous meds. I dunno.
I'm just supplying more info about myself here; no need to help with my sleep issues.
Let's just concentrate on the diet... at least for now. One thing at a time.
Sorry again for such a long post, but I want to be as detailed as I can possibly be.
WOW, I'm overwhelmed with the amount of responses. First, I'd like to say a big THANK YOU to every single person that replied. Really, thank you. Thank you, thank you!
Yes, yesterday was one of my 'bad days' and I'm sorry for directly or indirectly offending any one person or group.
But, hey, it took a bad day to push me into finally joining one of these forums... I haven't discussed most of my problems and raw feelings with anyone before. I suppose if I didn't express myself to the fullest and held back, I can't get to the real root of the problems.
I've often thought maybe talking with a professional therapist would help, but then I realize that I'm not the one that should have to change - it's most everyone else (the gluten eating people). If the general public could somehow become aware that their diet is hazardous to their health, then perhaps worldwide change could come about and WE would then become the majority, instead of the minority. That's really what I think boils my blood, is being stuck in a minority group while the majority poisons themselves and others. It's rational to be angry at that, right? So, I'm not really the one that needs help - it's everyone else. But, yeah, I know I should approach it in a positive way. Am I a bit bipolar? I don't know, but the longer I starve myself from my fav. foods, the more divided I become.
Most people don't learn to change until they face great adversity or disability, so I guess that's why I've wished bodily harm to others... to give them a 'frame of reference' so they can understand and help swing the vote to stamp out wheat-based foods/additives. It's still very bad of me, and on my good days (like today) I feel bad knowing that I think such negative thoughts.
I guess I should mention all the vitamins and stuff I take...
In capsule form I take: Vitamins A, B1, B2, B3, B5, B6, B12*, C, E, Iron, Selenium, Folic Acid.
Sublingual form: D3, K2.
Powder form: calcium, magnesium.
*I want to take this time to mention that the B12 I take, in conjunction with Iron, is in the form of methylcobalamin. The most common form, cyanocobalamin, has a cyanide molecule for its base (poison!). The next time I need to buy more, I'll try to find a sublingual form that's safe.
It's been a while since I've had fish oil, which I've taken tons of in the past... I switched to Barlean's flaxseed oil because it seems to help lubricate my GI tract better while giving me the Omegas at the same time... and it's also more cost effective than fish oil caps. I admit I've been slacking off on the oil, and I should really try harder to use it more often.
I've taken about a half-dozen different probiotic mixtures, which most didn't seem to change anything. Other kinds would give me very painful gas and bloating. Either way, I'd taken enough to make sure I had a wide variety of good bacteria... and sometimes I've felt like I had too much good bacteria - which can be a bad thing. I guess maybe I should stick with one that seems to be very active and only take it every other day or every 3 days... I'll just have to experiment more with dosage on it.
I also take plenty of digestive enzymes before/during/after meals. I've found one that seems to do OK and covers all the basic types of foods I might ingest, and is cost effective as well. For a while I was on Garden of Life's OmegaZyme Ultra but it didn't feel like it was working too well... way too expensive, too.
My general diet... let's see... I also avoid soy, except for soy lecithin, since it's in way too many things I don't want to cut out and it's supposedly not too bad. I don't know if I have a soy intolerance or not, but I just read more bad things than good things about soy.... ok, so now and then I flavor some rice with soy sauce, and I know it is not gluten-free.... no such thing as a gluten-free soy sauce that tastes good. I might have to try making my own sometime.
No idea if I have corn intolerance, but I try to avoid corn, although I do still eat things made with cornstarch. Corn is bad, physically and chemically, it was never meant for animal nor human consumption... It's only good use is for making ethanol. Watch a documentary called 'King Corn', it's interesting.
I avoid processed sugars and salts about 90% of the time. I'm a huge fan of pure RAW honey, 'sugar in the raw', and sea salt. Raw honey is great for digestion, and the end result smells super sweet as well (no joke!).
Almost every day I do my juicing. I try to alternate between vegetables and fruits/berries each day. It's not all organic... I wish it was, but hey I can't always make it perfect. And I do my best to wash it all with water + lemon juice to remove any chemical residue.
I am dairy-free; I no longer drink animal milk or eat cheese - never was a big fan of dairy... slimey stuff.. eww. I drink rice/almond milk and use vegan "cheese" when baking.
I don't eat beef - beef is one of the worst meats to digest, as it wants to sit in the gut and rot... a constipating nightmare. Pork, on the other hand, is fairly easy to digest for me, which proves to myself that the lie about pork's indigestibility is just that - a lie. But, it's still red meat, and I have to keep it limited. I can also handle chicken, turkey, and fish. Despite what meats I eat, I'm trying hard to limit the portion to be 20% or less of my total meal... 5-10% would be more ideal. I'll never give it up.
I'm also doing real good at eliminating preservatives. I really wish more things used vitamin E as a preservative instead.
I don't drink or cook with tap water; I use bottled spring/distilled/RO water, whichever's on hand.
Ok, Now I'm trying to think of ways in which gluten makes it's way into me... I've been good at keeping cross contamination down, but sometimes I try to just ignore it and 'bargain' with myself... saying.. "hey, a little molecule here or there floating around won't hurt me, just as long as I don't eat a plate full of gluten". I fear that it might not be enough?
When I go to my grandparent's, my grandmother is always still making her biscuits... so I know the entire kitchen/dining room is contaminated.... but it's the thought of having to abstain from her awesome cooking that sends me into a fury, not the gluten. I'm certain of it. Still yet, though... what if...?
I almost never eat out at restaurants now, I get to be the one left at home while the whole family goes out to celebrate, etc... And there's this one Chinese food place in town that makes the best I've ever tasted, and I've been to plenty of places across the country... they got it hooked up from a supplier to get some real awesome quality ingredients that no other place has PLUS their recipes.. oh man... they are masters. And I miss it.
From time to time, I've cheated and drank a couple beers. I know that gluten-free beer does exist, but it's sold in a town a half-hour away and costs between 8-10 dollars for a six pack... and I have no idea if it's good or tastes like pee. Too big of a gamble and a major inconvenience to even get it. Wine and rum, on the other hand... mmmm
But, NO! Alcohol is bad, unless used very very moderately. What's the point in that? Hmm... well there is another social intoxicant with many healing properties that is outlawed... Cannabis. Too bad I don't live in a state that allows it to be used medicinally, I'm sure some edibles would help with my inflammation and my mood all in one, with no adverse side effects. Plus, it helps keep the cancer away.
If you're still wondering, yes, I would very much like to infect wheat crops with the rust fungus. It'd be a huge sacrifice, but it's one that is greatly needed, I believe. Destroy that which is evil so that which is good may flourish, right? No hate in that, just pure logic. The greater good.
Well, now I'm the one that's rambling, so I guess I'll sign off and go make some veggie juice and try to enjoy the rest of a somewhat good day I'm having... just gotta keep the bad thoughts locked away.
Thanks again for the support and advice.
I have Crohn's and found out by my own trial and error that I have a sensitivity to gluten. It helps a great deal to stay gluten-free, but it's only one severed head of the hydra that plagues me. I know this is a forum for Celiacs, but it made more sense to post here instead of a Crohn's forum - most Crohnies are ignorant to the fact that gluten is poison and that they'd benefit from avoiding just as I have.
I slept like a baby the first few weeks being gluten-free, then after that it was back to the same tossing/turning until my mind could no longer physiologically stay conscious.... by which time it's time to get up and get ready for another day of work without much, if any, sleep. Day after day, week after week until my health deteriorates and I stay constantly sick. No amount of OTC or prescription sleep remedies can knock me out. Not even combined overdoses taken with alcohol. I refuse to do drugs like Lunesta or Ambien, for I am very certain dangerous sleepwalking episodes would occur. In fact, now, I refuse to take any form of industrial chemicals pandered to the public as "medicine"... I don't need any more of my internal organs to fail or become poisoned. It's all natural for me now.
I've been gluten-free for at least 8 months now, and the mood swings are not any better. From time to time, I find myself snapping back at people, flipping the bird, cursing them, etc. I'm becoming increasingly intolerant of gluten-eating people... and society as a whole. <<offensive material deleted by moderator>>
I hate sitting at the same table as the other people while they get to enjoy many of the foods I must stay away from, both gluten-containing and other foods not suitable for Crohn's.
A special Crohn's diet didn't bother me too much, but gluten free has sent me over the edge.
I pray for the day when the rust fungus devastates the entire world's supply of wheat. If I could, I would travel to parts of the globe to collect my own samples to disperse amongst the evil crops of this backwards nation. Hopefully mother nature will be able to handle it without my help, and wipe out this insidious grain to leave room for the healthy ones.
I'm unable to put on blinders and a fake smile like many of you, acting like nothing's wrong and that it'll all be ok. I'm stuck in a prison without bars, looking at how smug people are because they've found a medicine that works.. so then they can continue to work and support themselves without needing to leach onto someone for dependency. I hope those "medicines" erode you all from the inside out. I hope you really do get what you pay for in the end.
Every single time someone, who darn well knows of my diet restrictions, asks me if I want to eat this or that... bla bla bla... I want great harm to come to them. I want to bring them down to my level to make them finally understand.
Or maybe I should tuck tail between legs and run away from the few friends/family I have left? Are they detrimental to my well-being? Do I have to run and hide from everything just so I won't explode on them every time they unknowingly tease me?
I absolutely can not handle being around average people any more. Are there any gluten-free communes or cults I can join? It kills me to despise my own family. They're hypocrites. I don't belong with them. I need to be surrounded by nothing but people akin to me. Understanding. Loving. Supportive. Gluten and poison free.
Where can I go?
I'm going insane.