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apislaeta

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About apislaeta

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  • Birthday September 14

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  1. Hmm. So it sounds like "gluten free" means "there's some gluten, but a miniscule amount." Would that affect anyone? I feel like some people might react to even that amount of gluten, but I'm not sure. Thanks for the link!
  2. That's a great mindset. I hope I remember that when I have kids of my own--and even in my life now!! It's hard sometimes, but I guess no one ever really told me, "Life is so easy!" My boyfriend does feel that way sometimes. For example, at his mother's birthday dinner Saturday night, his aunt came over and asked to have a gluten free brownie even though she can have gluten. He asked her, "Are you sure?" as if it was silly to want to share such a thing. He does that sort of thing all the time. We were at the zoo with friends yesterday and his friend ordered a funnel cake. Over time, it was discussed that the monkeys we were about to see couldn't have any funnel cake and his friend said that life without funnel cake is a sad existence, forgetting that he was gluten free. My boyfriend responded that he couldn't have any, implying that perhaps his existence was sad. I couldn't let him make himself believe that so I interjected before the implication was verbally made and got a kiss out of it. ;-) What's even greater about the two of us being gluten free together is that I can find a pancake mix that we like and a deep fryer and enjoy our own funnel cakes! It may not be as fun as getting one when we're out, but at least he can enjoy such things at home. It's just so funny to me that he makes gluten free out to be so bad, and yet we can make anything gluten free that is typically made with gluten, and it usually tastes delicious. If we're lucky, I can't notice a difference at all! I'm gonna have fun learning my way around the kitchen. ;-) Also, don't worry about that at all! It's all me wanting to be gluten free. I love my boyfriend and I want to be sure that he's healthy and safe, especially at home. That makes sense. I'll be sure to word it that way! There's always room for learning how to communicate better. Hopefully that little bit of story there wasn't too bad. I like anecdotes. Always have!
  3. I think all the responses were from other women, so hearing from men is awesome. I'm glad everyone is implying that I'm not completely crazy. I do tend to eat gluten free even when we're at restaurants unless it gets difficult to order it, like at restaurants with no special gluten free menu. But the reason for ordering gluten-free when I can is mentioned below! I'm glad to hear that making two separate meals once in a while isn't a problem. Actually, his parents have made spaghetti sauce and their pasta and told him to make his own pasta when he was still living with them, so I guess it's not that bad. Even so, I don't think it's something that I want to do. I really prefer the idea of having our kitchen be safe for him, so he doesn't have to worry (okay, so I don't have to worry) about cross-contamination at home as well as at restaurants. I will definitely take that last bit of advice though, when needed! Sweet! I'll take a look at those. Thank you!
  4. Tiffany, right? (Your signature.) It's totally fine! Honestly, I've been trying my best to make sure my responses haven't been insulting or anything. And actually, your post made me laugh! So I'm glad you replied as you did. I'm so glad to hear that this makes valid sense to others who eat the same way he does!! That's the entire reason I came here to share my experiences. I hope he will come to understand it too, whether through therapy or just seeing how awesome I am. I have thought about doing couples counseling as well. The only trouble is, I'm not sure how to bring it up. He'll probably do it with me though, if I ask. My boyfriend brought up this point as well, when talking about whether I should go back to get my Master's now rather than wait a year, as I was planning. What decisions I make affects him now, as do the decisions he makes affect me. If only I had thought to mention the bit about how things could affect our relationship, etc. during that conversation about my Master's!
  5. Wow! So much to reply to! This is awesome. I never could figure out exactly how I wanted to word that, but that's exactly how I feel! I am wondering (and this is directed at anyone who wants to answer), if one or more of your kids were not celiac/gluten intolerant but possibly had the genes, would you introduce them to gluten or have them be gluten free from birth? This is something I've talked to my boyfriend about before, and he's even brought it up on his own, and when I tell him they can be gluten free, he almost seems to feel guilty about it, perhaps as if he shouldn't be making that call when 1) they're not born yet and 2) they might not even get affected by it. But when we do end up having kids, it will be the same issue all over again--should I prepare multiple meals even though our kids could be celiac? I'd prefer to just feed them in a way that won't have a chance (supposedly) of hurting them, AND my kitchen could stay completely gluten free. Is this actually true??? I thought about this early on in my relationship, but I don't remember whether I ever found any evidence of this being the case. Do [some] people eating gluten free due to health reasons feel sick after kissing their significant other who eats gluten? I'd love to know! It seems my boyfriend either doesn't respond to small amounts of gluten or he just doesn't tell me.
  6. @bartfull Thank you for the example! That does make sense. I'll keep being me, but I'll try to give him his freedom too. Oh, and I can try to get him to join, but I'm not sure how big he is with forums. I'll see what he thinks though! Thanks for all the help, everyone! Any more help will always be appreciated!
  7. I don't think I've ever ordered for him. I have reminded him at the beginning of our relationship once in a while cause he'd forget to say it. But I don't do that anymore. I just try to separate the sushi as much as I can. If you think that might be part of why, I'll definitely work to stop doing that. If he eats gluten, I guess I'll just be supportive and let him live ad he will. Maybe I am the one who is trying to control it! I wonder if I'm the one who feels left out... He was diagnosed with celiac disease I think when he was 21, before I met him. He's almost 26 now. I know when we first got together, he was more insecure, and I kinda thought he felt better about it now since I hadn't heard about it for a while. I guess I need to stop trying to control it for him. But would it be considered controlling it when I want him to be safe in his own kitchen? Is that an unattainable dream for me to have, maybe even something he will resent? He doesn't seem like he cares about the kitchen because his aunt has shared a kitchen for years and was gluten free before people really knew about celiac disease.
  8. Thank you for replying to me! I never saw it that way. I don't think he sees it as "making more work for me." I don't cook much, or really at all. (No kitchen of my own.) I wish I knew how he does view this, but all I know is that he gets kind of defensive about it on "sushi night" when we go out with friends. I try to separate the ones he can eat with the ones he can't by requesting that they put them on separate plates but that doesn't stop all the problems, only a small one. The face he makes when I do that though, I just have to sarcastically apologize for loving him. One of our friends even said, "It must be tough having someone care about you." You're right though... He does have a huge insecurity with this. But I definitely can't break up with him over something like that, especially after 3 years. Maybe there's something else to it besides him feeling "weak" and "vulnerable" because I eat gluten-free too. I just don't know how to get him to discuss all of this with me. I kinda wish I could just start that conversation last night back up again. Any other insights?
  9. My boyfriend and I had a heart to heart last night. He is gluten free; I, technically, am not. Here are some of the details: We talked about how I eat gluten-free when I don't need to. He mentioned that I actually enjoy it, which I do, because I feel like I'm "closer" to him that way. My main reason for that, I think, is because I can enjoy meals with him when otherwise I can't. I even gave him an example of sharing a dessert, which I loved doing. (He doesn't share food very often, even dessert.) He says that he doesn't like bringing attention to the fact that he's gluten-free when he's almost always the only one around who needs it! I feel like that is attention in and of itself. But then when I start actively trying to eat gluten-free, somehow that is worse. I guess I need to stop bringing verbal attention to it, stop calling it by name. Maybe that's the problem? He definitely never mentions gluten-free unless a situation comes up when he has to. We've been reading this book by Deborah Tannen called You Just Don't Understand, and it details how women tend to think in communities, which is probably why I feel eating gluten-free together would be a better thing. Men tend to think in hierarchies; one is one-up, one-down, or equal to another. It's not that he has a choice whether or not to eat it or to like it, so perhaps he feels "one-down." He said that he feels "weak" and "vulnerable" when I purposely eat gluten-free. But in the future, when we have our own house, I want to be able to make the same meals. It would be stupid, to me, to make two separate meals that we would eat at the same time. Not to mention, slightly dangerous due to cross-contamination. Yes, there would be ways to prevent that. But I don't want to take those steps. I want those steps completely removed from the picture because wheat and gluten would be removed. I can't explain why I feel so strongly over this. But it is something that is very important to me. Yes, the groceries are more expensive. But why can't we just get certain things we need and then get a little more of that instead of getting two of the same item, one gluten-free and the other not? And it's not like we have to get solely breads, crusts, flours, etc. We could get meats, vegetables, fruits, etc. that are naturally gluten-free. That is what I don't get. I love him. I want him to be healthy. But all he sees in this "act of love" is that I'm making him weak and vulnerable, more so than he apparently already feels. I just don't know what to do... Does anybody have any advice? Am I right? Wrong? Is there even a right/wrong to this? Please help!! (I really hope that mess of a paragraph makes sense.)