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I use Bob's masa harina. The secret seems to be getting just the right amount of water in the dough - not too much, not too little, but more than I thought at first. I "fry" them on a dry pancake skillet (non-stick) - they cook up very fast. They're a crapload of work - I make them about once a year because of that - and you have a very short window to eat them before it's not worth the trouble of having made them. But they are SO MUCH BETTER than anything store bought.
It gets better. 12 years of gluten free, and it's fairly rote by now. Especially if you set your house up as a safe place, and you've gathered alternative recipes and adjusted the types of food you eat, your house becomes a safe place and you DON'T have to think about food all the time. It's a huge habit change. You probably didn't worry about thinking about dandelion blossoms in your house all the time previously, because they never were there. Same with this. Give it time, and it will get better. You'll have the most important safe place, and the others will get easier to navigate.
For what it's worth, my daughter (who doesn't have to be gluten free) must wash her hands after eating anything with wheat before she comes in contact with me (the gluten intolerant one), or ... well, anything but her plate. And I serve her and anyone who comes to my house completely gluten free foods. No child or adult (outside of my husband, who gets to try all the failures too) has ever complained about it.
If they are tension headaches, the meds aren't going to help a whole lot. Massage (you can learn how to do it), stretches, plenty of sleep (hahahaha!), and heat/ice (alternated) can help. Ibuprofen (advil - which is safe) can help a bit if there is associated inflammation.
If I really don't want to go into anything, I just say "no thank you" and that is all. You don't have to explain, and if pressed, I would say "no thank you", followed by "really, I would not like any." I expect adults to respect another person's choices, whether they understand or not. Heck, I expect my three year old to do this.
You might also - at some point after you feel more confident about the gluten thing - look into whether or not she's getting migraines independently of the gluten. I developed chronic migraines a few years after going gluten (and dairy) free. They were more of a postural issue (working at a computer all day does a number on your neck!) and related to a few other things. I worked with a chiropractor for a long time, and ended up on migraine preventatives, as *nothing* would stop the migraine once it occurred, outside of prescription migraine meds, and it would last for one to three days.
Definitely NO SOAP on the pan. My MIL pretty much removed all the seasoning on my cast iron pan one year by helpfully washing it after dinner. It took a while to reseason it (per the same website that was linked a few posts above, though without flax oil, as I hadn't found any at the time).
As Peter explained, it's a density, not an amount. And this is why I find this "threshold" SO ridiculously annoying. What is the actual DOSAGE (quantity) that causes most people to show damage? I'm not sure that I've ever convincingly figured that out from the studies that were done for the "20ppm" standard.
This. You cooked with wheat flour; of course you got contaminated. My family always gets gluten free pancakes. I can do gluten free oats, so now we do oat flour pancakes, and they're awesome (and freeze well), but previously, I used Pamela's mix.
Actually, I haven't been able to find a place to buy it in a couple years. Amazon doesn't have it; heck, the producer's website (amazingrains.com) doesn't even resolve any more. I don't know what happened to it!
It's a little disappointing, I will say, as I loved that stuff!