Hi there, this is my first post, it will likely be long, and I do not know if it is even on the right board. please forgive me for all of these things. I'm really just looking for support and to hear I am not alone.
Let me start with a little back story.
My entire life I have had issues with constipation, and in hindsight other things that may have been gluten / diet related. I had crazy growing pains in my legs, my skin swells up when scratched, to the point you can write on me (my siblings thought this hilarious), achy joints whenever it rained, and I often had days when I would go from being ok, then suddenly, as if someone had flicked a switch, I would get really down. I could stay like this for a while before finally snapping out of it.
5 years ago, after the birth of my DD, I was diagnosed with IBS - despite no tests of anything - just described stomach pains and was told I had IBS. Started having regular panic attacks shortly after DDs birth too. I also developed lactose intolerance, but only after large amounts of milk - at least 16oz. Anything less and I was fine.
4 years ago, whilst pregnant with DS I developed really severe anxiety, which never went away. I am not originally from the US, moved here 9 years ago, and suddenly I was terrified of living here. I also developed health anxiety, although this was based on true symptoms, not imagined. I had a lot of anal bleeding 3 years ago, was sent for colonoscopy, was found to have hemorrhoids left over from DS birth. I also had many MS symptoms. An MRI showed no lesions, but I did have an abnormal growth in my white matter. Had a follow up six months later and this was deemed to be benign. Went to therapy for anxiety and depression last summer after a trip to D.C. left me with such high anxiety I actually couldn't leave my hotel room for 2 weeks without a panic attack. Started CBT but couldn't continue due to life circumstances. I didn't find it was helping much anyway.
Then last October I started getting stabbing pains in the area of my left ovary. It was so severe I ended up in ER on vacation. They did an ultrasound of my ovaries and found nothing. They gave me IBS meds (Bentyl) and sent me home. After my vacation I stopped taking the meds and did a 2 week elimination diet. Felt better and reintroduced in a rather haphazard manner but felt fine from Thanksgiving to Christmas eve. Christmas day I woke up with the same pains as previously and extremely constipated. This went on for 2 weeks and I went to my PCP. She ran blood tests, celiac test, and food allergy tests. The only allergy was to shrimp - I already knew I had a shell fish allergy so it didn't reveal anything. No celiacs or wheat allergy. CT scan also showed burst cyst on right ovary.
I decided to try the whole30. I had nothing to lose after all. I cut out everything listed as well as nuts and nightshades, thinking that these might cause my pain. After 30 days I was feeling better, but 4 days later I felt much much better, so I started introduction. I started with sugar since I doubted this would be an issue - turns out sugar gives me a headache. Not a huge issue really. Then I had dark chocolate - holy heck, did I feel bad. I was so crazy irritable. Tried it again a few days later - was definitely the chocolate and not some strange coincidence. Next came dairy in the form of an 8 oz latte - bingo! Milk had been causing my stomach pain all along. Turns out it probably wasn't the lactose because a few days later I discovered cheddar (lactose free cheddar) also caused the same pain. So I guess dairy is out, which is heart breaking. Alcohol, it turns out, causes my joints to ache a crazy amount. Finally came the one I was dreading most - gluten. I ate a dairy free pizza for lunch and had a tortilla in the evening. Seriously, that was a lot of wheat, and apart from some really minor gas, I felt fine. I was overjoyed - I love bread so thought this was excellent. However, when I went to bed that night, I felt intoxicated and like I do after eating shellfish, like I needed to vomit etc. The next day I woke up feeling absolutely awful, mentally. I felt as though my life was a waste of time, and the only thing stopping me from ending it was to think about how sad my kids would be if I were not here. I told my husband I thought our marriage was over, and pretty much spent the entire day in bed crying. I have not felt this low in a long time. Two days later I still feel as bad. That's why I am on here. Has anyone here had such severe depression after eating gluten, with a negative celiac test? Do you think it really is gluten, or am I clutching at straws here. I didn't actually notice any improvement in my anxiety and depression whilst on the elimination diet, but I sure as heck noticed a change the day after eating a pizza. Also, if it is gluten related, how long before I feel better?
Sorry that this is so long, and probably mostly irrelevant, but in my current state it is hard for me to sift through and know what is important and what is not.
Thank you if you read all this.