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This Happen To Anyone Else?

food social situations purchasing food allergies awkward

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9 replies to this topic

#1 pretty in paleo

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Posted 22 March 2013 - 02:33 PM

Well I'm sure I'm not the only one. But its so awkward when someone reacts to my gluten free status by purchasing food for me. And most of the time its not even gluten free (they thought it was). Or its got a ton of other crap that would give me indigestion. Then I feel kinda bad and offer to pay them back, and remind them that gluten is just one of many foods I avoid. Did anyone else go thru this situation??


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#2 deb445

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Posted 22 March 2013 - 02:46 PM

Oh, you are not alone. I find that there is sometimes even an uncomfortable tension - these poor well meaning friends and family feel that they've gone out of their way to accomodate, and then I break the news that while I'm grateful, I can't eat it. I know my wonderful Mother in Law has been a little miffed at times, and I feel bad (I bring this one myself - she doesn't make me feel bad) almost to the point of eating it just so she won't feel tense at having gone to the effort and expense.

Tricky.

And then there are the kind people who bring "gluten-free" food to a pot luck, but I've been paranoid that it may be contaminated. They just want to please, I know.


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Gluten free for 5 years. Dairy free for years, but now OK with grassfed dairy.

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#3 pretty in paleo

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Posted 23 March 2013 - 09:18 AM

Yeah there are people in my family that give me a hard time in this situation. Like my aunt, she insisted on stopping by a gluten free bakery despite me saying most of that stuff is made with oats, which make my throat swell. Surprise, surprise, she got upset that nobody ate it.

Oh, you are not alone. I find that there is sometimes even an uncomfortable tension - these poor well meaning friends and family feel that they've gone out of their way to accomodate, and then I break the news that while I'm grateful, I can't eat it. I know my wonderful Mother in Law has been a little miffed at times, and I feel bad (I bring this one myself - she doesn't make me feel bad) almost to the point of eating it just so she won't feel tense at having gone to the effort and expense.

Tricky.

And then there are the kind people who bring "gluten-free" food to a pot luck, but I've been paranoid that it may be contaminated. They just want to please, I know.


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#4 cap6

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Posted 23 March 2013 - 09:23 AM

My response is just to say thanks, i appreciate the thought but I have had to make it a rule to only eat things prepared in my own kitchem/not at anyone elses kitchen....


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#5 Greebo115

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Posted 23 March 2013 - 12:51 PM

I always say that I have celiac disease and so many allergies or intolerances that it's impossible to buy ANYTHING ready-made and that I only eat food that I've made myself. Then, depending on the person, I might add: to save you the hassle of ringing an ambulance when I puke on the carpet, stop breathing and go unconscious.

That usually does the trick (even if not completely true). I had a moment at a knit'n'natter group where a new member tried to pressure me into eating just one piece or shortbteaf and all the existing memebers almost shouted "NO! She'll get really ill" - I think it pays to get in there first, before the situation arises.

With my best friend, I have explained thoroughly, and she has seen a couple of my mistakes, so she understands, but I always make sure she sees me eating my food before we go into any place to 'eat'. That way, she doesn't feel bad when I order coffee but she wants to get some food. There's nothing like thinking there's a starving person watching you eat, to put you off your food or provoke a 'can you eat this? or this? or this?' situation..
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Obvious symptoms started as a baby with gastroenteritis....
Self - diagnosed celiac at age 41 - Gluten-free since December 2012, shortly after realised in needed to avoid:
Dairy, soy, all grains, all pseudo-grains, nightshades, legumes, MSG, xantham gum, all sugar alcohols.
Low sugar/refined carbs since Aug '08 due to reactive hypoglycemia.

22/03/13 Mung beans and blackeyebeans reintroduced successfully!

26/06/13 Some symptoms mysteriously returned - found loads of CC in my nuts and dried beans!! (verified by food/symptom journal and emails to companies)

26/11/13 After 2 weeks on crutches (again) realised that legumes cause my joints to inflame - it's undeniable....legumes gone!


#6 TheHeartRN

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Posted 23 March 2013 - 05:07 PM

I have just been diagnosed with Celiac and I am so afraid of this....


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Kelley  :rolleyes: 

Diagnosed 3/22/13


#7 pretty in paleo

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Posted 23 March 2013 - 05:28 PM

That reminds me of another habit I've acquired, which is when there is a social event that may last all day, make sure the host is very clear on why you only bring your own food. I'm going to a baby shower and the host is cooking everything. Honestly I'm worried since she seems clueless about wheat (offered me brownies after I explained I was allergic to wheat, dairy!!)

I always say that I have celiac disease and so many allergies or intolerances that it's impossible to buy ANYTHING ready-made and that I only eat food that I've made myself. Then, depending on the person, I might add: to save you the hassle of ringing an ambulance when I puke on the carpet, stop breathing and go unconscious.

That usually does the trick (even if not completely true). I had a moment at a knit'n'natter group where a new member tried to pressure me into eating just one piece or shortbteaf and all the existing memebers almost shouted "NO! She'll get really ill" - I think it pays to get in there first, before the situation arises.

With my best friend, I have explained thoroughly, and she has seen a couple of my mistakes, so she understands, but I always make sure she sees me eating my food before we go into any place to 'eat'. That way, she doesn't feel bad when I order coffee but she wants to get some food. There's nothing like thinking there's a starving person watching you eat, to put you off your food or provoke a 'can you eat this? or this? or this?' situation..


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#8 GottaSki

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Posted 23 March 2013 - 05:46 PM

Welcome HeartRN!

 

Good news is you have been diagnosed when awareness is on the rise -- bad news is you have to be responsible for everything that goes in your mouth. 

 

More GOOD news -- it really does get easier, although the learning curve is tough.

 

Make sure you read the "newbie 101" thread -- loads of good intel there.

 

Everyone in this thread -- hang in there and ask for help getting through it right here -- it really does speed the process :)


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-Lisa

Undiagnosed Celiac Disease ~ 43 years

3/26/09 gluten-free - dignosed celiac - blood 3/3/09, biopsy 3/26/09, double DQ2 / single DQ8 positive

10/25/13 - MCAD

Health history since celiac diagnosis became too long -- moved to the "about me" section of my profile

My children and I all have multiple copies of the genes for Celiac Disease, along with large variety of symptoms/resolution gluten-free

Current tally from me, three kids and two grands: 4 diagnosed with Celiac Disease, 2 NCGS

Get PROPERLY tested BEFORE REMOVING GLUTEN.

ALWAYS independently research health related information found on internet forums/blogs.

"LTES" a Gem :)


#9 Stern

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Posted 24 March 2013 - 07:43 AM

I've had this exact thing happen to me as well. x_X I went to the beach for a long weekend with my best friend and her family. I had told them that I would bring my own food (I don't just stay away from gluten, I've tested postitive {and react to} seven more major foods), but they wanted to be nice, and they got an entire bag of gluten-free stuff that I couldn't eat (Usually because of soy). They were pretty nice about it, and they've told me that if I ever come with them again, to give them a list and they'll find more that I can eat when I come with them, but I'm thinking I'll probably just bring my own anyway, since I have it on hand, and it's not the cheapest out there.

 

I can't imagine going through this with someone I didn't know as well as my best friend, just because I know her and her family, and I could see that they started understanding after that (AKA I haven't been offered a gluten cupcake anymore, since my best friend's sister is a baker).


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#10 Pegleg84

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Posted 25 March 2013 - 09:20 AM

Yep, while I appreciate the efforts people make. I always insist not to make a fuss over me. I'll take care of myself. Often friends/family will ask if they should make something gluten-free just so I can eat it. If I'm the only one going to something, I say no! Let everyone else enjoy it instead. I'll bring something else.

 

Last thanksgiving my man and I went to his parents for dinner. Of course, the week before, he asks "Mom wants to know what you can eat" Of course, I say don't fuss over me. Of course, being the sweetie that she is, his mom got a gluten-free (no stuffing in it) turkey, made the gravy with corn starch, got me cookies, etc etc. Which was very sweet, but next time I'll be sure to insist they don't do anything special.

I also found the same thing staying at B&B's in England this fall. So accommodating! but almost too accommodating. No, I don't really want this over-processed brownie for breakfast, and you really didn't have to get a whole box of cereal just for me...

My man is also guilty of the "I found this gluten free thing!" problem, only to find out it's go hidden soy or dairy, or made on the same lines, or some other reason why I refuse to touch it. there's still a "gluten removed" beer in my fridge that I'm petrified to touch.

 

So, be thankful for the thoughfulness, but politely decline. If the package hasn't been opened, you could suggest they donate it to a food bank or something?


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~ Be a light unto yourself. ~ - The Buddha

- Gluten-free since March 2009 (not officially diagnosed, but most likely Celiac). Symptoms have greatly improved or disappeared since.
- Soy intolerant. Dairy free (likely casein intolerant). Problems with eggs, quinoa, brown rice

- mild gastritis seen on endoscopy Oct 2012. Not sure if healed or not.
- Family members with Celiac: Mother, sister, aunt on mother's side, aunt and uncle on father's side, more being diagnosed every year.




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