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Support Forum Is It?

new members supportive communication

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26 replies to this topic

#1 Ksee

 
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Posted 14 May 2013 - 09:38 AM

I first logged on here about a week ago. I was then, and still am looking for a supportive place where people share their experiences and tips for living without gluten. Some people here are supportive but there are also people who attack without provocation. At first, I thought I was misstating or misunderstanding so I apologized for my statements and spent a lot of time clarifying. Then I found I was spending all my time trying to correct misconception and misinformation of even basic knowledge. 

Don't be offended if you are not one of the people I'm speaking of, you know it. I'm referring to the judgmental, easily offended, myopic of opinion, conspiracy theorists, and those who bully others on these boards. I'm referring to presentation of opinion or hearsay as fact. Shouldn't a support forum discourage unsupportive posts, personal attacks. uninformed and uneducated information?

There are reasonable people here who understand what I'm saying and my skin is thick enough not to be concerned by bullies. I started to simply find another forum but there are people here who are being affected, who are new to this disease, new to this forum and people who think what they are reading is correct and appropriate. 

To them I want to say, meanness never has an excuse. There is always a way to say anything nicely. There is never a reason to attack. "Facts" should always be able to be supported by reputable sources and you should ask for those sources. Supportive helps you feel better, not worse.

To those members and moderators with supportive and reasonable outlooks, I would encourage your consideration of my experience as a new member, even though atypical in my willingness to speak up. I have made the assumption this is not an impression the forum wishes to present?

To those who wish to rant, I hope you reconsider. I would prefer my point not be proved.


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#2 IrishHeart

 
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Posted 14 May 2013 - 11:06 AM

I've been a member of the forum over 2 years and IMHO, the majority of the regulars are generous, compassionate, and funny people.

 

Like all microcosms of society, the forum has a mixed bag of personalities and often, they may clash.

 

It is unfortunate that in the short time you have been with us, you have a negative opinion of us. Sorry this has happened.

 

BTW, If you feel a member has violated the forum rules in any way, you can report the post.

 

The thing about a forum is...everyone has the right to express an opinion and unless someone is in direct violation of a rule, there is not much that can be done. (you can't "make someone be nice" or send them to bed without dinner. Although that might be fun! :)  )

 

You asked:

 Shouldn't a support forum discourage unsupportive posts, personal attacks. uninformed and uneducated information?

 

In a word, yes. And we try very hard to do this for the members.

 

Personally, I had to learn to develop a thicker skin, although on occasion, I have my feelings hurt. ah, so be it. I always get over it.

 

The coping section often has discussions and threads that are very helpful. And the dinner chat thread is fun.

 

As for "conspiracy theories"...well, I am not sure what to say except, common sense goes a long way in figuring out what's total malarkey

(and having read some of your posts, I can tell you are not easily duped by such nonsense).

 

I hope you'll stick around!


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"Life is not the way it's supposed to be. It's the way it is. The way we cope with it makes the difference." Virginia Satir

"The strongest of all warriors are these two - time and patience." Leo Tolstoy

"If you want to lift yourself up, lift up someone else" Booker T. Washington

“If idiots could fly, the sky would be like an airport.”― Laura Davenport 

"Do or do not. There is no try. "-  Yoda.

"LTES"  Gem 2014

 

Misdiagnosed for 25+ years; Finally Diagnosed with Celiac  11/01/10.  Double DQ2 genes. This thing tried to kill me. I view Celiac as a fire breathing dragon --and I have run my sword right through his throat.
I. Win. bliss-smiley-emoticon.gif


#3 Ksee

 
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Posted 14 May 2013 - 11:44 AM

I've been a member of the forum over 2 years and IMHO, the majority of the regulars are generous, compassionate, and funny people.

 

I have no doubt you are correct :)

 

you can't "make someone be nice" or send them to bed without dinner

 

Of course not, but I think we can all encourage positive supportive communication. People entering into that environment, who's negativity is discouraged or ignored, quickly conform or find another outlet for their anger.

 

I hope you'll stick around!

 

Thank you so much :)


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#4 Brandiwine

 
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Posted 14 May 2013 - 11:57 AM

I haven't been a member long, this forum has been a God send to me! Everyone I've encountered so far has been great, I'm sorry your experience has been more negative than positive, hope you do stick around the more perspectives the better :)
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Vegetarian, Gluten Free diet since 03/2013, sensitivity to raw onions, soy, allergic to Cinnamon


#5 Ksee

 
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Posted 14 May 2013 - 12:37 PM

I'm glad to hear that Brandi :) Thank you

My experience has not been overwhelmingly negative and my feelings are not hurt. I don't usually care much when that sort of thing is directed at me.

I do care when it's directed at others and my response had more to do with that sort of post. I know I was not specific but I haven't found singling out individuals to be helpful. 

Sorry for the confusion and thank you for the support :)


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#6 bartfull

 
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Posted 14 May 2013 - 12:40 PM

I must have missed the posts you are talking about, but if I said something to offend you, I apologize.

 

I like to keep in mind that when I have been glutened (or corned), I get incredibly grumpy. If someone here is having a grumpy day, I just figure it must be something they ate. :P


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gluten-free since June, 2011

Can't eat soy, corn, or foods high in salicylates.

Nightshades now seem to bother me too.

 

BUT I CAN STILL PLAY MY GUITAR AND THAT"S ALL THAT MATTERS!

 


#7 IrishHeart

 
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Posted 14 May 2013 - 12:44 PM

 

 

you can't "make someone be nice" or send them to bed without dinner

 

Of course not, but I think we can all encourage positive supportive communication. People entering into that environment, who's negativity is discouraged or ignored, quickly conform or find another outlet for their anger.

 

 

 

Not being flip here, but good luck with that concept. ;)  It would seem like it would work, but that is not the case.

 

There will always be people who are negative and angry,(on here and in life)  and trust me on this one, no amount of cajoling, or the blowing of eternal sunshine up their skirts will change someone's personality. 

 

People are, well, human ....and they sometimes get mad or angry or frustrated and that's okay as long as the anger is not directed AT someone.

That is not acceptable, IMO.


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"Life is not the way it's supposed to be. It's the way it is. The way we cope with it makes the difference." Virginia Satir

"The strongest of all warriors are these two - time and patience." Leo Tolstoy

"If you want to lift yourself up, lift up someone else" Booker T. Washington

“If idiots could fly, the sky would be like an airport.”― Laura Davenport 

"Do or do not. There is no try. "-  Yoda.

"LTES"  Gem 2014

 

Misdiagnosed for 25+ years; Finally Diagnosed with Celiac  11/01/10.  Double DQ2 genes. This thing tried to kill me. I view Celiac as a fire breathing dragon --and I have run my sword right through his throat.
I. Win. bliss-smiley-emoticon.gif


#8 IrishHeart

 
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Posted 14 May 2013 - 12:53 PM

 If someone here is having a grumpy day, I just figure it must be something they ate. :P

 or it's Karen  :lol:

 

 

 

Ksee, soon, you will see that we like to laugh on here ....a lot .Best form of support there is, in my mind.


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"Life is not the way it's supposed to be. It's the way it is. The way we cope with it makes the difference." Virginia Satir

"The strongest of all warriors are these two - time and patience." Leo Tolstoy

"If you want to lift yourself up, lift up someone else" Booker T. Washington

“If idiots could fly, the sky would be like an airport.”― Laura Davenport 

"Do or do not. There is no try. "-  Yoda.

"LTES"  Gem 2014

 

Misdiagnosed for 25+ years; Finally Diagnosed with Celiac  11/01/10.  Double DQ2 genes. This thing tried to kill me. I view Celiac as a fire breathing dragon --and I have run my sword right through his throat.
I. Win. bliss-smiley-emoticon.gif


#9 Gemini

 
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Posted 14 May 2013 - 01:08 PM

Then I found I was spending all my time trying to correct misconception and misinformation of even basic knowledge.

 

 

I am curious, ksee......what misconceptions and misinformation of basic knowledge were you spending all your time trying to correct?  The only thread I remember where you became very involved was the thyroid thread.  You had some input on that, which was welcome input, but seemed upset that many here do not make use of endocrinologists for their thyroid conditions.  We have some very savvy thyroid people on here, who give excellent information on thyroid disease, so maybe I am incorrect in assuming that was the thread you mean?

 

I'm referring to the judgmental, easily offended, myopic of opinion, conspiracy theorists, and those who bully others on these boards.

 

 

Ummmm......you've been here 1 week and accuse board members of this behavior?  I've been here a long time and there are damn few people on here that one could attach this behavior to.  Really...they are few and very far between.  I think you need to read more posts and get to know people better before making such assumptions.  This is the best forum out there for accurate and knowledgeable informaton on Celiac Disease and all the related conditions that go with it.  I'd even go so far as to say you'll get better and more in depth answers here than you would at any doctors office.  That's why this is such a busy place.  It's the place where you get the real help you'll need to manage and stay gluten-free...happily.

 


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#10 kareng

 
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Posted 14 May 2013 - 01:13 PM

 or it's Karen  :lol:

 

 

 

 

 

Mom!  Irish is calling me grumpy!  :o

 

I'm not grumpy...I'm just not eloquent!


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Thanksgiving dinners take 18 hours to prepare.  They are consumed in 12 minutes.  Half-times take 12 minutes.  This is not a coincidence.  - Emma Bombeck
 
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#11 IrishHeart

 
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Posted 14 May 2013 - 01:21 PM

Mom!  Irish is calling me grumpy!  :o

 

I'm not grumpy...I'm just not eloquent!

 

hey, you're the self-proclaimed grumpy-pants, kiddo.

I find you endearing and warm. ;)


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"Life is not the way it's supposed to be. It's the way it is. The way we cope with it makes the difference." Virginia Satir

"The strongest of all warriors are these two - time and patience." Leo Tolstoy

"If you want to lift yourself up, lift up someone else" Booker T. Washington

“If idiots could fly, the sky would be like an airport.”― Laura Davenport 

"Do or do not. There is no try. "-  Yoda.

"LTES"  Gem 2014

 

Misdiagnosed for 25+ years; Finally Diagnosed with Celiac  11/01/10.  Double DQ2 genes. This thing tried to kill me. I view Celiac as a fire breathing dragon --and I have run my sword right through his throat.
I. Win. bliss-smiley-emoticon.gif


#12 kareng

 
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Posted 14 May 2013 - 01:22 PM

hey, you're the self-proclaimed grumpy-pants, kiddo.

I find you endearing and warm. ;)

 

Yeah...but you can't call me that!  :P


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Thanksgiving dinners take 18 hours to prepare.  They are consumed in 12 minutes.  Half-times take 12 minutes.  This is not a coincidence.  - Emma Bombeck
 
dancing-turkey.gif
 
 
 
 

 


#13 IrishHeart

 
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Posted 14 May 2013 - 01:51 PM

Yeah...but you can't call me that!  :P

what..."endearing and warm"? oops, too late  :wub: I wuvs you


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"Life is not the way it's supposed to be. It's the way it is. The way we cope with it makes the difference." Virginia Satir

"The strongest of all warriors are these two - time and patience." Leo Tolstoy

"If you want to lift yourself up, lift up someone else" Booker T. Washington

“If idiots could fly, the sky would be like an airport.”― Laura Davenport 

"Do or do not. There is no try. "-  Yoda.

"LTES"  Gem 2014

 

Misdiagnosed for 25+ years; Finally Diagnosed with Celiac  11/01/10.  Double DQ2 genes. This thing tried to kill me. I view Celiac as a fire breathing dragon --and I have run my sword right through his throat.
I. Win. bliss-smiley-emoticon.gif


#14 GFinDC

 
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Posted 14 May 2013 - 01:54 PM

hey, you're the self-proclaimed grumpy-pants, kiddo.

I find you endearing and warm. ;)

 

Well, grumpy-pants is better than farty -pants anyway. :)

 

Ksee, I hope you stick around too.  We need people who are willing to help keep us less than totally corkscewed sometimes.  None of us are perfect, and we all have our bad days and our not-so bad days.  And sometimes it's not easy to avoid spreading that around.  But generally people seem willing to hear advice about their screw-ups and admit mistakes here.

 

And conspiracy theories make great books for a reason.  People really like them!  Sometimes they even have a grain of truth buried in them.  Get it, "grain" of truth?  :)  Oops, bad one, sorry.


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Proverbs 25:16 "Hast thou found honey? eat so much as is sufficient for thee, lest thou be filled therewith, and vomit it."
Job 30:27 My bowels boiled, and rested not: the days of affliction prevented me.
Thyroid cyst and nodules, Lactose / casein intolerant. Diet positive, gene test pos, symptoms confirmed by Dr-head. My current bad list is: gluten, dairy, sulfites, coffee (the devil's brew), tea, Bug's Bunnies carrots, garbanzo beans of pain, soy- no joy, terrible turnips, tomatoes, peppers, potatoes, and hard work. have a good day! :-) Paul

#15 Ksee

 
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Posted 14 May 2013 - 02:05 PM

oh gluten-free, you punny person. Thanks :)


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