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Newly Diagnosed- Dealing With Rude Comments


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37 replies to this topic

#16 Ciel121

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Posted 04 June 2013 - 12:24 PM

Very very frustrating!! I am so sorry you have to go thru this! Support is a good thing and if you don't have it is is hard! I don't really say anything to my family except my Daughters and hubbs. I just say I am on a diet and cannot eat this and that! I don't have to answer to anyone but me! I personally believe that gluten is not good for anyone! Just because they can tolerate it doesn't make it good for them. When they ask what kind of diet I am on I say an all natural diet! If it comes out of a box or a can I cannot eat it unless it is natural :)

Wow, great idea. A non-processed food diet is ideal, right? Very healthy and great for weight management. I guess that's what I do automatically if I don't have the energy to explain Celiac disease, ha. Also, eblue, tell your family that Celiacs and people with food allergies are officially considered disabled by the government under the Americans with Disabilities Act. That should shake them up. :-D


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#17 cyclinglady

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Posted 04 June 2013 - 04:12 PM

Check out this YouTube video by Better Batter that talks about "Stuff People Say to Celiacs".  It's pretty funny and I think we can all relate!  :lol:

 

 

 

Have a great evening.


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Non-functioning Gall bladder Removal Surgery 2005
Diagnosed via Blood Test and Endoscopy: March 2013
Hashimoto's Thyroiditis -- Stable 2014
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Allergies and Food Intolerances
Diabetes -- January 2014




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#18 Happy canary

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Posted 04 June 2013 - 04:35 PM

I can relate and find it very hard to deal with. It upsets me when people are so rude and belittling.

I have one friend who does the passive aggressive 'you miss out on so much' said with a subtext of 'its all in your head and you are making this up'. If I try to talk to her about it all she just changes the subject or pretends not to hear. I have tried to stick with it and not let it affect me but after reading this thread I realise that I am quite upset about it and will not eat with her anymore.

Yes, I have experienced the eye roll, the doubtful looks and some direct challenges.

I find that most of my friends now are either gluten-free or have their own food intolerances or other health issues. Those who have experienced the pain of being different are a lot more compassionate than those who have not.
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Caffeine free since 2005
Gluten free since late 2007
Intolerant to soy, corn, any form of chocolate
Egg free, Almond free, Bell Pepper free, Brazil Nut free since mid 2012
Almost Alcohol free since Jan 2012
I have just recently started experiencing symptoms when eating fish (past month or so)

#19 psawyer

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Posted 04 June 2013 - 04:42 PM

:o

:angry:

 

:)

;) 


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Peter
Diagnosis by biopsy of practically non-existent villi; gluten-free since July 2000.
Type 1 (autoimmune) diabetes diagnosed in March 1986
Markham, Ontario (borders on Toronto)

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#20 psawyer

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Posted 04 June 2013 - 04:52 PM

Welcome to the board, Happy canary,
 

I have one friend who does the passive aggressive 'you miss out on so much' said with a subtext of 'its all in your head and you are making this up'. If I try to talk to her about it all she just changes the subject or pretends not to hear. I have tried to stick with it and not let it affect me but after reading this thread I realise that I am quite upset about it and will not eat with her anymore.

This is not the behavior of a friend. If she was your friend she would not do this.


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Peter
Diagnosis by biopsy of practically non-existent villi; gluten-free since July 2000.
Type 1 (autoimmune) diabetes diagnosed in March 1986
Markham, Ontario (borders on Toronto)

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#21 IrishHeart

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Posted 04 June 2013 - 04:55 PM

Peter is right...and I have friends who have taken the time to learn about CC and have actually cooked for me while I supervised and I was fine. :)

 

Explain. Give them information from a reputable site.

Give them a copy of Real Life with Celiac Disease by Melinda Dennis and Daniel Leffler (it has everything in it--good advice from celiac dieticians like Shelly Case and Tricia Thompson) , excellent articles by Celiac docs like Dr. Fasano and Dr, Green and  an explanation about how family members should also be tested .

 

This "schooling"  is in your hands, guys! Tell them, invite them over and cook for them and have them see that gluten-free dining does not mean"boring and tasteless" and then, let it go.

You cannot let them get you down.

Trust me on this.


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"Life is not the way it's supposed to be. It's the way it is. The way we cope with it makes the difference." Virginia Satir

"The strongest of all warriors are these two - time and patience." Leo Tolstoy

"If you want to lift yourself up, lift up someone else" Booker T. Washington

“If idiots could fly, the sky would be like an airport.”― Laura Davenport 

"Do or do not. There is no try. "-  Yoda.

"LTES"  Gem 2014

 

Misdiagnosed for 25+ years; Finally Diagnosed with Celiac  11/01/10.  Double DQ2 genes. This thing tried to kill me. I view Celiac as a fire breathing dragon --and I have run my sword right through his throat.
I. Win. bliss-smiley-emoticon.gif


#22 surviormom

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Posted 05 June 2013 - 04:25 AM

Check out this YouTube video by Better Batter that talks about "Stuff People Say to Celiacs".  It's pretty funny and I think we can all relate!  :lol:

 

 

 

Have a great evening.

Loved it. 


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Gluten Free 2012 - Dairy Free 2012 - Acid Reflux Diet 2013

Chronic Gastritis 2013 - Peptic Duodenitis 2013 - Hiatal Hernia 2013 - C-Diff 2013 - Endometriosis 2013 - Uterine Fibroids 2013

Patellar Tendonitis 2013 - Arthritis 2014 - NCGI 2014 - Erosive Esophagitis 2014 - Barretts 2014


I have a long list of physical ailments that were being grouped into age/gender by doctors.

Began Gluten Free and Casein Free after an Allergy Test trying to find answers to health problems that the doctors just were not answering well enough. Looking back through history, I have a lifetime of allergies and gastro issues.


Learn from yesterday, Live for today, and Hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning.

Albert Einstein

#23 dani nero

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Posted 05 June 2013 - 08:06 AM

Their ignorance is the source of their bliss. You can put yourself in bliss too by not giving a damn about their opinions.

What is the worst that could happen when they roll their eyes.. will that make you lose a leg, an eye, your house? Nope. Stop caring, and live your life with the people who understand you.


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Self diagnosed January 2012, and on elimination, low-salicylate & low-iodine diet.
Also G6PD

#24 dani nero

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Posted 05 June 2013 - 08:15 AM

Check out this YouTube video by Better Batter that talks about "Stuff People Say to Celiacs".  It's pretty funny and I think we can all relate!  :lol:

 

 

 

Have a great evening.

 

Awesome video. Every single comment in was said to me and even more


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Self diagnosed January 2012, and on elimination, low-salicylate & low-iodine diet.
Also G6PD

#25 eers03

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Posted 05 June 2013 - 02:43 PM

First, that really has to hurt.  No wants to feel like the person that takes a pass on the family casserole.  Irish Heart is right, its on you to educate and cite reputable sources.  I'm in sales and my thing is this...  State someone's objections before they can.

 

So...

 

Them (Eyeroll)

 

You (I know, right?!  Its crazy!  I used to think that people that were allergic to gluten were just being overly picky eaters.  I had no idea that all it takes is 1/8 of a teaspoon to chemically create a reaction in ones body.)  

 

Them: WHAT?!

 

You: Yeah, its insane.  Did you know that if I cheat on my diet and eat one meal containing gluten per month that my mortality rate increases over time by 600%?  Thats why I never cheat!!!

 

Them: Whoa!  

 

You: Yep, its true.  If I can't check out the ingredients on a recipe, I have to stay out of it.  I CAN eat ALL kinds of stuff though.  Fresh fruit, steak, pork, chicken, but I stay out of the processed meats.  I still have my dairy. (hopefully)  Nuts, etc...

 

Them: Oh....  So what happens if you eat it?  

 

You:  C'mon, now.  Nobody wants to talk about that...  Alright look, my body fights gluten just like it fights the flu or any other foreign invader.  Now imagine that your body has to react like it has the flu every time you eat a meal.  Your body gets into an "inflamed" state over time that can lead to other diseases or even cancer.  Every time I eat the stuff, the battlefield of inflammation becomes my GI tract, my liver, and my intestines and over time it inhibits my ability to get what I need out of food.  So trust me, its not a fad diet for me. 

 

You:  It was tough at first but I know my resources now and to be honest, I'm a nutritional expert.  If you ever have questions about anything, I can probably point you in the right direction.  

 

 

That's how I play it off sometimes.  If you've already had your own version of this dialog and those same people are giving you "the look" they need to "look" at themselves and ask why they are so selfish.  


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#26 IrishHeart

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Posted 05 June 2013 - 03:24 PM

  Irish Heart is right, its on you to educate and cite reputable sources. 

 

 

  I used to think that people that were allergic to gluten were just being overly picky eaters.  I had no idea that all it takes is 1/8 of a teaspoon to chemically create a reaction in ones body.)  

 

 

 

I had you at "Irish Heart is right"  :lol: can you tell this to my hubs, my Mom, my sister, my ex husband,etc..?.

 

but seriously, sweet girl, I cannot endorse

EVER saying to anyone:

 

" I used to think the "allergic to gluten people were just being overly picky eaters"

 

because nothing in that statement is true. 

 

Celiacs are not "allergic to gluten" (celiac is NOT an allergy so, I would never say that)

 

and I am not " overly picky" 

 

so I would not ever counter an argument using that rationale.

 

Sorry, just clarifying, but  I do love your spirit! 

 

I just say this" Gluten is poison to me and  I do not eat it". Period.


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"Life is not the way it's supposed to be. It's the way it is. The way we cope with it makes the difference." Virginia Satir

"The strongest of all warriors are these two - time and patience." Leo Tolstoy

"If you want to lift yourself up, lift up someone else" Booker T. Washington

“If idiots could fly, the sky would be like an airport.”― Laura Davenport 

"Do or do not. There is no try. "-  Yoda.

"LTES"  Gem 2014

 

Misdiagnosed for 25+ years; Finally Diagnosed with Celiac  11/01/10.  Double DQ2 genes. This thing tried to kill me. I view Celiac as a fire breathing dragon --and I have run my sword right through his throat.
I. Win. bliss-smiley-emoticon.gif


#27 eers03

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Posted 05 June 2013 - 05:24 PM

Okay, so....   Probably a good point...  Addendum approved!


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Diagnosis 11/2012

#28 powerofpositivethinking

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Posted 05 June 2013 - 05:52 PM

this is great!  I'm going to work on memorizing it  :)

First, that really has to hurt.  No wants to feel like the person that takes a pass on the family casserole.  Irish Heart is right, its on you to educate and cite reputable sources.  I'm in sales and my thing is this...  State someone's objections before they can.

 

So...

 

Them (Eyeroll)

 

You (I know, right?!  Its crazy!  I used to think that people that were allergic to gluten were just being overly picky eaters.  I had no idea that all it takes is 1/8 of a teaspoon to chemically create a reaction in ones body.)  

 

Them: WHAT?!

 

You: Yeah, its insane.  Did you know that if I cheat on my diet and eat one meal containing gluten per month that my mortality rate increases over time by 600%?  Thats why I never cheat!!!

 

Them: Whoa!  

 

You: Yep, its true.  If I can't check out the ingredients on a recipe, I have to stay out of it.  I CAN eat ALL kinds of stuff though.  Fresh fruit, steak, pork, chicken, but I stay out of the processed meats.  I still have my dairy. (hopefully)  Nuts, etc...

 

Them: Oh....  So what happens if you eat it?  

 

You:  C'mon, now.  Nobody wants to talk about that...  Alright look, my body fights gluten just like it fights the flu or any other foreign invader.  Now imagine that your body has to react like it has the flu every time you eat a meal.  Your body gets into an "inflamed" state over time that can lead to other diseases or even cancer.  Every time I eat the stuff, the battlefield of inflammation becomes my GI tract, my liver, and my intestines and over time it inhibits my ability to get what I need out of food.  So trust me, its not a fad diet for me. 

 

You:  It was tough at first but I know my resources now and to be honest, I'm a nutritional expert.  If you ever have questions about anything, I can probably point you in the right direction.  

 

 

That's how I play it off sometimes.  If you've already had your own version of this dialog and those same people are giving you "the look" they need to "look" at themselves and ask why they are so selfish.  

 

 

I had you at "Irish Heart is right"  :lol: can you tell this to my hubs, my Mom, my sister, my ex husband,etc..?.

 

but seriously, sweet girl, I cannot endorse

EVER saying to anyone:

 

" I used to think the "allergic to gluten people were just being overly picky eaters"

 

because nothing in that statement is true. 

 

Celiacs are not "allergic to gluten" (celiac is NOT an allergy so, I would never say that)

 

and I am not " overly picky" 

 

so I would not ever counter an argument using that rationale.

 

Sorry, just clarifying, but  I do love your spirit! 

 

I just say this" Gluten is poison to me and  I do not eat it". Period.


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Diagnosed with celiac disease, fat malabsorption, severe pancreatic insufficiency (taking Creon) and vitamin K and D deficiency

Thankful for all the help I've received from members on this board!

Happy to have answers  :) 


#29 IrishHeart

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Posted 06 June 2013 - 03:43 AM

Okay, so....   Probably a good point...  Addendum approved!

 

 

:lol:

 

I think we all have our ways of expressing ourselves...do whatever works for you! 

I suggest you be firm, use humor to deflate anger and frustration and learn to blow off criticism about celiac and the gluten-free diet.

 

It's your life you are saving. ;)

Just my two cents, IMHO.


  • 0

"Life is not the way it's supposed to be. It's the way it is. The way we cope with it makes the difference." Virginia Satir

"The strongest of all warriors are these two - time and patience." Leo Tolstoy

"If you want to lift yourself up, lift up someone else" Booker T. Washington

“If idiots could fly, the sky would be like an airport.”― Laura Davenport 

"Do or do not. There is no try. "-  Yoda.

"LTES"  Gem 2014

 

Misdiagnosed for 25+ years; Finally Diagnosed with Celiac  11/01/10.  Double DQ2 genes. This thing tried to kill me. I view Celiac as a fire breathing dragon --and I have run my sword right through his throat.
I. Win. bliss-smiley-emoticon.gif


#30 surviormom

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Posted 06 June 2013 - 04:22 AM

Well my father, responded as expected.  My sister however, is listening.  She plans to discuss with her doctor.  We know how her doctor will probably treat it, but at least she knows now, and perhaps will read about it.  My father would rather die than change his eating habits.   This is a man who has pancreatitis, liver disease, heart disease, odd rashes that pop up now and then, allergic to aspirin, and goes to the bathroom 3-4 times a day.  All of my life he has had 1 of those, half of my life he has had 3 of those, and the past 20 years 4 of them and the past 2 years all of them.  He is 69.  I left off that awful cough he wakes up with every day, another all of my life thing.

 

If they did to him what they just did to me I wonder what they would find?


  • 0

Gluten Free 2012 - Dairy Free 2012 - Acid Reflux Diet 2013

Chronic Gastritis 2013 - Peptic Duodenitis 2013 - Hiatal Hernia 2013 - C-Diff 2013 - Endometriosis 2013 - Uterine Fibroids 2013

Patellar Tendonitis 2013 - Arthritis 2014 - NCGI 2014 - Erosive Esophagitis 2014 - Barretts 2014


I have a long list of physical ailments that were being grouped into age/gender by doctors.

Began Gluten Free and Casein Free after an Allergy Test trying to find answers to health problems that the doctors just were not answering well enough. Looking back through history, I have a lifetime of allergies and gastro issues.


Learn from yesterday, Live for today, and Hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning.

Albert Einstein


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