Jump to content



   arrowShare this page:
   

   Get email alerts  Subscribe to FREE Celiac.com email alerts

 
Ads by Google:
Celiac.com Sponsor:                                    


Photo
- - - - -

Significant Other To Celiac


  • Please log in to reply
48 replies to this topic

#16 kareng

kareng

    Advanced Community Member

  • Moderators
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 13,625 posts

Posted 07 August 2013 - 10:54 AM

Maybe that is just how he is? Some people aren't big on going out and doing things. If that doesn't work for you, maybe you should re- think the relationship. I'm assuming you have had calm discussions about this and explained your thoughts. If he doesn't want to do anything, you can't make him. His reasons not to get coffee or a drink, etc aren't really valid. Carmel color doesn't contain gluten, but he could get a plain coffee or a an iced tea. I don't understand the straw thing. Find a place with cider or gluten-free beer in bottles. Drink it from the bottle. Not sure a bartenders hands will be very gluteny.

It just sounds like he might not be interested in going out?
  • 0

Celiac.com - Celiac Disease Board Moderator
 

LTES

 

You better cut the pizza in four pieces, because I'm not hungry enough to eat six. ~Yogi Berra

 

smiley-eating-pizza-slice-emoticon.gif

 


Celiac.com Sponsor:

#17 tinydani

tinydani

    New Community Member

  • Members
  • Pip
  • 8 posts

Posted 07 August 2013 - 11:00 AM

Suggest things that don't involve food? And try planning things on his days off? I know that I don't try to make plans on days that my husband works, even if it is a short shift. He works hard and I don't want to put more on him on an already hard day.

well we are on opposite schedules he works mon-fri 7-330 and i work thurs-sun usually nights or all day so its been really tricking finding time


  • 0

#18 NateJ

NateJ

    Advanced Community Member

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 206 posts

Posted 07 August 2013 - 11:01 AM

I have adopted a gluten free diet and i am lactose intolerant so we have been getting creative with food and thats been fine but lately he is just letting his disease rule over him hence we dont go anywhere and i mean its understandable because its a fear of getting sick but when all you do is go to work and be home... its not living and i cant handle being a slave to the american economy and not doing anything fun. what fun things do celiacs do that they do not get sick from and are inexpensive?

well the fact your here means you care at least somewhat to be looking for help or answers. Maybe someone else can explain it better than I can.

I did some digging because I remembered someone wrote this before. Its about the best explanation I can find.

 

http://glutendude.co...-celiac-diease/

 

Hopefully the link works. Its a story about someone that has celiac disease and what their significant other means to their struggle.

Everyone needs support, and no relationship is perfect. You have to be willing to work on it every day you are togehter.


  • 0

#19 bartfull

bartfull

    Advanced Community Member

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 2,281 posts

Posted 07 August 2013 - 11:08 AM

"I have changed my diet to a completley gluten free diet as we live together, and i clean the house at least once a week with vinegar to kill most of the gluten particles, he is that sensitive. I just feel right now he is letting his disease define him and monitor the things he does in his life and I think celiac disease has killed his spontaneity and I just want to help him and have fun and do "normal" things that other couples do for the most part."

 

If you have gone completely gluten-free, what gluten particles do you have to clean once a week? (And vinegar won't "kill" gluten particles any better than soap anyway.)

 

How long has he had celiac? If he is new to it it is understandable that he is nervous about anyone else preparing his food or drink. We have given you plenty of suggestions about fun things to do that don't involve food or drink at all. Eat first, bring bottled water, and go do something.


  • 0

gluten-free since June, 2011

Can't eat soy, corn, or foods high in salicylates.

Nightshades now seem to bother me too.

 

BUT I CAN STILL PLAY MY GUITAR AND THAT"S ALL THAT MATTERS!

 


#20 howlnmad

howlnmad

    Community Member

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 68 posts

Posted 07 August 2013 - 11:10 AM

He willnot go get a drink, he knows that bartenders put straws in drinks and those straws are touched by gluteny hands and its like he is embarrassed he has celiac he wont tell them to not put a straw in it, he will not get coffee because of a similar situation and also alot of coffee syrups have caramel coloring and that makes him sick, and I think it is what someone on hear said previously its a lack of effort. I always want to do things and he either is to tired from work or just doesnt want to go. How do I get him out of his celiafunk?

 

You know what's in plastic? PLASTIC! You want to go to the bar and get a drink but he's worried about gluten hands touching the straw? Easy fix.............................. bring his own. Better yet, go get one of those "Krazy Straws" and bring it with him. He'll be the life of the party. Hell, I'd probably buy a round just to watch. :wacko:

 

Coffee is over rated. It keeps you awake sometimes, makes you jumpy (like the stressed out dwarf) and stains your teeth. Just kidding, I drink about 4 gallons a week and there is nothing wrong with me.

 

 

 

Right honey? :wub:


  • 1

#21 tinydani

tinydani

    New Community Member

  • Members
  • Pip
  • 8 posts

Posted 07 August 2013 - 11:38 AM

"I have changed my diet to a completley gluten free diet as we live together, and i clean the house at least once a week with vinegar to kill most of the gluten particles, he is that sensitive. I just feel right now he is letting his disease define him and monitor the things he does in his life and I think celiac disease has killed his spontaneity and I just want to help him and have fun and do "normal" things that other couples do for the most part."

 

If you have gone completely gluten-free, what gluten particles do you have to clean once a week? (And vinegar won't "kill" gluten particles any better than soap anyway.)

 

How long has he had celiac? If he is new to it it is understandable that he is nervous about anyone else preparing his food or drink. We have given you plenty of suggestions about fun things to do that don't involve food or drink at all. Eat first, bring bottled water, and go do something.

when you go to the store and bring things home other peoples gluteny hands have touched that package and now its on my counter its on my cabinet. http://www.celiac.co...ctivate-gluten/

he has had it for years and only really understood the severity of it 3-4 years ago. You havent given me anything but attitude actually, all of these other nice people have given great tips and advice you however have been quite the opposite of helpful and positive. so please keep to yourself because you are not at all helping my situation.


  • 0

#22 0range

0range

    Advanced Community Member

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 86 posts

Posted 07 August 2013 - 12:48 PM

Maybe that is just how he is? Some people aren't big on going out and doing things. If that doesn't work for you, maybe you should re- think the relationship. I'm assuming you have had calm discussions about this and explained your thoughts. If he doesn't want to do anything, you can't make him. His reasons not to get coffee or a drink, etc aren't really valid. Carmel color doesn't contain gluten, but he could get a plain coffee or a an iced tea. I don't understand the straw thing. Find a place with cider or gluten-free beer in bottles. Drink it from the bottle. Not sure a bartenders hands will be very gluteny.

It just sounds like he might not be interested in going out?

 

I was going to echo this. Some of us just like to 'lay low' :=) either we're introverts, generally have low energy/get tired easily or a combination of these things. Maybe your boyfriend is one of those people? Is there a fun activity you can do at home? Maybe make cooking an activity. Make some delicious hot chocolate and watch a romantic movie together (if they don't make you cringe :lol:). I'm not very big on going out, but my boyfriend and I usually throw big Halloween or Christmas parties at his place to compensate. You can make all gluten-free food, plan some fun activities (hit the pinata! pin the tail on the donkey!) and just have a good time playing some Rockband, board games, drinking games, etc. 


  • 0

Canadian undergraduate student in 3rd year, studying Psychology and Speech Communication. Hoping to go into rehabilitation sciences!  B)

  

Dx with: 

Hashimoto's thyroiditis - 22/09/12

benign paroxysmal positional vertigo (bppv) - 18/05/13

irritable bowel syndrome - 21/06/13 

HLA-DQ8 gene ~ heterozygous (moderate risk for celiac) - 29/11/13

 

-> underwent a colonoscopy on 24/08/13, showed mild focal colitis + lymphoid hyperplasia (aka inflammation) in terminal ileum


#23 kareng

kareng

    Advanced Community Member

  • Moderators
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 13,625 posts

Posted 07 August 2013 - 12:57 PM

when you go to the store and bring things home other peoples gluteny hands have touched that package and now its on my counter its on my cabinet. http://www.celiac.co...ctivate-gluten/
he has had it for years and only really understood the severity of it 3-4 years ago. You havent given me anything but attitude actually, all of these other nice people have given great tips and advice you however have been quite the opposite of helpful and positive. so please keep to yourself because you are not at all helping my situation.



I guess what several of us have tried to explain, but I'm going to be more blunt here, is : we don't get silly about if someone might have touched a package at the store. Honestly, if this was a real hazard, how would the vast majority of Celiacs have healed? Who walks around a grocery store with lots of bread crumbs all over themselves, touching every package in the store?

As I'm remembering the intent of that thread was getting spilled gluteny flour and such out of your house when you first went gluten free.
  • 1

Celiac.com - Celiac Disease Board Moderator
 

LTES

 

You better cut the pizza in four pieces, because I'm not hungry enough to eat six. ~Yogi Berra

 

smiley-eating-pizza-slice-emoticon.gif

 


#24 bartfull

bartfull

    Advanced Community Member

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 2,281 posts

Posted 07 August 2013 - 01:00 PM

No, Hon, I have not given you "attitude". What I have done is respond to your post honestly. You even went back and edited your original post because you knew that saying he was making your relationship "boring" and that you "couldn't take it" sounded bad. If you look around here at different threads you will find that many of us have had problems with family and friends and spouses who couldn't deal with our illnesses. A lot of us have been hurt by people who supposedly love us, so if I jumped on you, that is why.

 

I don't think there is anyone here who worries about packaging giving us CC. We wash our hands when we cook and we wash our hands before we eat, but other than spilled flour on the checkout counter, I don't think packaging is a big problem. People's gluteny hands touch doorknobs and other surfaces too. We just always wash our hands before putting anything in our mouths. Cleaning with vinnegar though is not any better than just using soap and water. I don't like harsh chemicals so I clean with Dawn dishwashing liquid and water. It does a good job.


  • 1

gluten-free since June, 2011

Can't eat soy, corn, or foods high in salicylates.

Nightshades now seem to bother me too.

 

BUT I CAN STILL PLAY MY GUITAR AND THAT"S ALL THAT MATTERS!

 


#25 Gemini

Gemini

    Advanced Community Member

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 3,083 posts

Posted 07 August 2013 - 01:00 PM

when you go to the store and bring things home other peoples gluteny hands have touched that package and now its on my counter its on my cabinet. http://www.celiac.co...ctivate-gluten/

he has had it for years and only really understood the severity of it 3-4 years ago. You havent given me anything but attitude actually, all of these other nice people have given great tips and advice you however have been quite the opposite of helpful and positive. so please keep to yourself because you are not at all helping my situation.

Actually, Bartie gave you some good advice but, apparently, it wasn't what you wanted to hear.  I would suggest that you and your boyfriend spend some quality time at home, reading and learning as much as you can about Celiac Disease from reputable souces like Celiac organizations and people like Dr. Peter Green or Dr. Alessio Fasano...both are leading experts and researchers on Celiac.  From what you have posted so far, you both are woefully uninformed and uneducated on Celiac and this might explain why your boyfriend is afraid to leave the house. If you both learn the real ways in which you might be glutened, and not worry about what everyone else has on their hands on the outside world, things will improve dramatically for you.  Everything you have posted about Celiac and what you need to be wary of is incorrect.  That might be the root of your problems.


  • 1

#26 psawyer

psawyer

    Moderator

  • Moderator
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 6,994 posts

Posted 07 August 2013 - 01:01 PM

i sanitize the whole house with vinegar once a week to kill all gluten particles

Slightly off-topic, but important: gluten can not be "killed"--it can only be physically washed away. If vinegar killed gluten, then salad dressings with wheat would be safe. If alcohol killed gluten, we could all drink regular beer.
  • 3
Peter
Diagnosis by biopsy of practically non-existent villi; gluten-free since July 2000.
Type 1 (autoimmune) diabetes diagnosed in March 1986
Markham, Ontario (borders on Toronto)

Celiac.com - Celiac Disease Board Moderator

#27 kareng

kareng

    Advanced Community Member

  • Moderators
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 13,625 posts

Posted 07 August 2013 - 01:04 PM

Oh.....you have changed what I have been responding to!

FYI- from the thread you are quoting- I never said vinegar " kills" Gluten, it just helps dissolve stuck on flour so you can scrub it off. If your home is gluten-free, there should be no more gluten to destroy.

Now that I see what may be going on here, I'll wish you good luck and good evening.
  • 0

Celiac.com - Celiac Disease Board Moderator
 

LTES

 

You better cut the pizza in four pieces, because I'm not hungry enough to eat six. ~Yogi Berra

 

smiley-eating-pizza-slice-emoticon.gif

 


#28 aliveandwell

aliveandwell

    New Community Member

  • Members
  • Pip
  • 1 posts

Posted 07 August 2013 - 02:54 PM

You know what is really sad here, this is not only an informative website, a network of like minded people dealing with a serious disease but a support system and shame on some of you for trying to point the finger and put blame on someone. This person is here because they obviously care about their significant other and has not dealt with this before I am sure, and because of your past relationships of people abandoning you, you instead of offering help go the criticism route.

 

I think it is admirable you are on here trying to get advice, and that you have changed your lifestyle to fit his and you are honest about your feelings. Being someone who has celiac, it is hard. And I can only imagine the difficulty significant others feel dealing with being with someone with a serious disease. More people are sensitive than others and by the sound of it, he sounds very very sensitive to gluten, I would not be surprised if he had another intestional problem. Maybe he should go to the doctor if he has not gone recently?

But the point is here, I do not let celiac define me, yeah it sucks seeing people drinking beer and the smell of fresh doughnuts in the air but I would rather be healthy and live longer than be sick and miserable and that is great of you to not want him to be sick from cross contamination since that is the biggest reason why celiacs get sick. For me atleast for sure.

I like to take my dog on walks, either in the woods or on the beach, go out for drinks, shoot some pool, go wine tasting, watch movies, play boardgames, make art, listen to music, go see live shows.

It just sounds like you guys are stuck in a little rut and he is comfortable being home with you and knowing he wont get sick, so try to go about trying to go out in a less direct spontaneous way because maybe that is what is turning him off to it. Im not sure how to go about this but im sure you can find a way.

good luck to you and stay healthy!


  • 0

#29 Adalaide

Adalaide

    It needs to be about 20% cooler.

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 3,264 posts

Posted 07 August 2013 - 02:57 PM

Actually, Bartie gave you some good advice but, apparently, it wasn't what you wanted to hear.  I would suggest that you and your boyfriend spend some quality time at home, reading and learning as much as you can about Celiac Disease from reputable souces like Celiac organizations and people like Dr. Peter Green or Dr. Alessio Fasano...both are leading experts and researchers on Celiac.  From what you have posted so far, you both are woefully uninformed and uneducated on Celiac and this might explain why your boyfriend is afraid to leave the house. If you both learn the real ways in which you might be glutened, and not worry about what everyone else has on their hands on the outside world, things will improve dramatically for you.  Everything you have posted about Celiac and what you need to be wary of is incorrect.  That might be the root of your problems.

 

I agree with this 100%. You were given completely sound advice. You basically said you were bored with the relationship because you two don't go out and do anything. You didn't elaborate on why that is exactly, only saying that you were blaming celiac. Yes, many here have loving and supportive SOs, and many also have been abandoned and treated poorly by people who just don't have any desire to be understanding. So having someone come in and say basically that celiac makes life boring is going to make us all a little defensive.

 

It has now become clear though that the problem is that both of you are woefully misinformed and ill-educated. The only thing you can do is either educate yourselves about the actual facts of celiac and how to be safe outside the house so that he'll feel comfortable leaving home or, if he is just the kind of person who is more comfortable hanging out at home it is quite possible that you two just aren't suited to each other since you have voiced how miserable this seems to make you.


  • 0

"You don't look sick or anything"

"Well you don't look stupid, looks can be deceiving."

 

Celiac DX Dec 2012

CRPS DX March 2014


#30 bartfull

bartfull

    Advanced Community Member

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 2,281 posts

Posted 07 August 2013 - 03:53 PM

AliveAndWell, I think others will back me up on this: I have been very supportive of most every person I have ever posted to. I am always ready to give the benefit of the doubt to people and have gone out of my way to explain things when someone was having a hard time understanding. But if you had read the OP's first post BEFORE she had edited it you would have seen that her concern came across as not so much for her boyfriend, but for herself.

 

You can also see that she seems to have rejected the good advice she was given from other posters about things they could do together. Then she claims that because he works day shift and she usually works nights, there isn't TIME to do these things together.

 

It sounds to me like she is looking for an excuse to break up with him. Blaming it on his celiac disease is one way of not admitting that she just doesn't want to be with him.

 

We celiacs have enough to deal with without someone using OUR disease as a way to weasel out of dealing with hard truths.


  • 0

gluten-free since June, 2011

Can't eat soy, corn, or foods high in salicylates.

Nightshades now seem to bother me too.

 

BUT I CAN STILL PLAY MY GUITAR AND THAT"S ALL THAT MATTERS!

 



0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users

Celiac.com Sponsors: