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My Husband Called Me A Hypochondriac

Nantzie

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bluelotus Contributor
bluelotus
Posted

I can understand hubbies needing a break from an obsessive spouse, but I don't consider myself obsessive - that would be his label, not mine. He thinks I'm being obsessive when I say that I can't have any gluten, not even crumbs, that he has to use his own sponge on his "glutened dishes", that I can't kiss him when he's drinking, that he has to clean up after himself when he makes a sandwich....that's obessive to him......

I agree with you, Tiffany. He should have a break from hearing about it. But then again, if he could just remember these things....!! Everytime I explain it, he acts like he's never heard it before and acts like I'm crazy (Him: "What?! No crumbs!? That's ridiculous! Not even trace amounts? You used to eat this stuff all the time."). It hurts. Not only does it say he's not listening, it says he doesn't care - if he cared, he'd remember and maybe need the explanation one or two times.

I can't write about it anymore or I'll just get more frustrated. Drives me crazy....

Wish others better luck. I'm sure Tiffany's right, with time, things will start to cool down and obsessiveness or lack-thereof won't be an issue.

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tarnalberry Community Regular
tarnalberry
Posted
I can understand hubbies needing a break from an obsessive spouse, but I don't consider myself obsessive - that would be his label, not mine.  He thinks I'm being obsessive when I say that I can't have any gluten, not even crumbs,  that he has to use his own sponge on his "glutened dishes", that I can't kiss him when he's drinking, that he has to clean up after himself when he makes a sandwich....that's obessive to him......

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Ah, then it's not that your being obsessive at all! (Sometimes we can be, though. ;-) ) It's that he hasn't accepted your choices. At the end of the day, he doesn't have to understand or believe any of it, as long as he accepts that you're doing it and respects your wishes for yourself. It may help to tell him that, so that he doesn't think you are placing higher than reasonable (to him) expectations on him. (It might not help either, depending on the person...)

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Nantzie Collaborator
Nantzie
  • Author
Posted

It looks like maybe they should add one more thing to the already huge list of symptoms -- If you've ever been called a hypochondriac, a drama queen or been accused of making health problems up to get attention.... you MIGHT have Celiac Disease.

Claire, you'd better make sure that mouse is gluten free... ;)

I forgot a couple of symptoms too -

- Loss of balance starting right after I had mono. When I see those people on the news that get pulled over to do a sobriety test for drunk driving, I always think that I couldn't do half that stuff sober. I can't even stand with my feet together and my eyes closed and not sway around. There's no way I could do that whole put your head back, put your arms out and touch your nose with your hands.

- ADD - never got diagnosed, but my dad did. We even started having symptoms around the same age - 4th grade. Just couldn't concentrate or retain information in school. Neither of us hyperactive. Although a cousin on my dad's side was ADHD, and they took him off milk, but I don't think my aunt really did that for very long...

- And I was reading the What's Your Story thread and Ursula's story sounds like some of the stuff on my mom's side. My grandmother, the one who had schizophrenia, had many, many miscarriages also. My mom only got pregnant once, with me. Never tried for a second baby. Not sure about miscarriages with her sister, but I know my cousin had a couple. My mother and her sister, and my cousin all had "morning sickness" 24/7 for the whole nine months. I was lucky on this part because I had really easy pregnancies, like my dad's side. My aunt also had a hysterectomy but "they never told her what it was for."

Bobcat, your husband sounds just like my MIL. It's maddening. She gets all dramatic about it when there's an audience too. Like she wants to show everybody how ridiculous it sounds. (I've been experiencing this behavior from her due to my scoliosis for over a year now. When I say that I can't do something because of doctor-imposed restrictions that keep my back from going out, she acts like it's the first time I've ever told her about it.) I finally realized that she's baiting me though. Took me long enough...

I actually sometimes wonder if I really am making the whole thing up and I just have IBS and depression, but then I start remembering all the weird symptoms and weird family history, and it reminds me that celiac is very likely. If it's not exactly celiac, I'm pretty sure going gluten-free is going to help, regardless. But if it's not celiac, I'm going to be really surprised.

Nancy

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Claire Collaborator
Claire
Posted
It looks like maybe they should add one more thing to the already huge list of symptoms -- If you've ever been called a hypochondriac, a drama queen or been accused of making health problems up to get attention....  you MIGHT have Celiac Disease. 

Claire, you'd better make sure that mouse is gluten free...  ;)

I forgot a couple of symptoms too -

- Loss of balance starting right after I had mono.  When I see those people on the news that get pulled over to do a sobriety test for drunk driving, I always think that I couldn't do half that stuff sober.  I can't even stand with my feet together and my eyes closed and not sway around.  There's no way I could do that whole put your head back, put your arms out and touch your nose with your hands. 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Once you have your diagnosis, please do go gluten-free right away - the sooner the better. Also, don't delay on having a neurologist check you out on that balance issue. Your GP will probably ignore it but a neuro specialist won't. Celiac can play havoc with the brain and nervous system. Gluten is considered by some doctors and many researchers to be a neurotoxin. Claire

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tiredofdoctors Enthusiast
tiredofdoctors
Posted

I'm so sorry that you're not getting the support you deserve in trying to investigate and define what is happening with regard to your health. I have been very lucky that my husband, kids, and in-laws have been very supportive with regard to my diagnosis of gluten intolerance and subsequent ataxia. My sister still wants to believe that it is "conversion disorder" -- a physical manifestation of a severe psychological stress -- and that it will magically disappear. She continues to talk about "when you're O.K. again". I finally told her that, despite what she thinks will happen, my two neurologists have said that their long-term goal for me is that I would be able to walk well with a walker, and possibly walk without an assistive device. I insisted to her that I will continue to be gluten-free for the rest of my life, regardless of WHAT the outcomes are, because I have anti-gliadin antibodies and anti-perkinje cell antibodies. I also have extended relatives who roll their eyes at me when I won't eat birthday cake or foods which I know are poison to me. Stick to your guns, knowing that you are doing what is right for you, and is healthiest for you, and smile sweetly and say "you don't say". There is a joke about us southerners with regard to that -- if you want to hear it, e-mail me at bodyworxinc@hotmail.com -- it's a tiny bit off-color, but really funny! In the meantime, I can tell you from experience that this site is a wealth of support and information -- there are some very intelligent people who offer their help selflessly. Talk about a safe place! Take care of you . . . . Lynne

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nettiebeads Apprentice
nettiebeads
Posted
I'm also happy to read that I am not alone! My husband is wonderful in so many ways but dealing with my obsessiveness over gluten is not one! That is why I am here every day. I need to know that there are people in this world who will listen and give advice when my family has heard enough.

I am extremely obsessed too! I have made a notebook with sections so I can print recipes, gluten-free products, letters from companies, hints from the people here, restaurant menus and lists of places that are gluten-free friendly, etc. My son laughed at me because I put a label on the notebook saying "If I am lost, please return me to my owner" and I wrote my name and address and phone number. This book has so much information in it!

Thank you all for being part of my support system!

Jo Ann

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Great idea!!!! I'll have to do that - electronic AND paper! Thanks!

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stef-the-kicking-cuty Enthusiast
stef-the-kicking-cuty
Posted
- ADD - never got diagnosed, but my dad did.   We even started having symptoms around the same age - 4th grade.  Just couldn't concentrate or retain information in school.  Neither of us hyperactive.

Same thing here, except that my dad never got diagnosed with ADD. Once I came into 4th grade (I was 10 years then) all my grades started to get really bad. And later then, with 15 and 16 years they started to get better again, indead I had a really good final exam. That was also the time I got more independent and grown up in my eating habits. I was pretty stuborn and only ate what I liked instead of eating everything my mom prepared. My research today showed, that most of this food I ate that time was glutenfree. Weired, isn't it?

Greetings, Stef

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Nantzie Collaborator
Nantzie
  • Author
Posted

Hey Lynne - is that kind of like the Bless His Heart clause? Let's try it... ---

My husband called me a hypochondriac, bless his heart.

Kind of makes you almost feel sorry for him doesn't it...? :lol:

And with the notebook thing, it's been all I can do not to start a whole organizational system. If my husband thinks just visiting a message board is obsessive, he has NO idea what is going to rain down if I test positive.

I never thought about seeing a neurologist for the balance issues. I'm definitely going to do that. Gluten ataxia and all that stuff is really scary. I've already got mobility issues, and to think that it could have been gluten that has had a huge role in it makes me even more determined to get a diagnosis so that if I do have it, I can help my kids prevent some of this stuff.

It's so amazing to me that gluten can do so much damage in so many body systems and so many areas of your life. It makes me sick just to think about it.

I do hope that I end up being celiac just for the fact that I can DO something about it. Because if it isn't celiac, then I don't know what to do for my kids. Because we've got so much bad health that runs in my family. If it's not celiac and they can't do anything to predictably prevent all the problems that just "run in the family", then it's like all these types of bad health are just lurking out there. If it's celiac, we just have to slay one big dragon. If it's not, and it's just bad family health, it's like there are a dozen little dragons. And I know that not every bad health thing that can happen is related to celiac, but you guys know what I mean.

Nancy

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skbird Contributor
skbird
Posted

Oh yeah, the "bless their heart" clause is a great thing. It really helps when someone is driving you nuts!

IE - My coworker can't possibly eat without smacking her lips all the time, bless her heart...

My boss always yells when he gets mad, bless his heart...

yadda yadda yadda

Love that one!

Stephanie

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Rusla Enthusiast
Rusla
Posted
Hey Lynne - is that kind of like the Bless His Heart clause?  Let's try it...  ---

My husband called me a hypochondriac, bless his heart. 

Kind of makes you almost feel sorry for him doesn't it...?  :lol: 

And with the notebook thing, it's been all I can do not to start a whole organizational system.  If my husband thinks just visiting a message board is obsessive, he has NO idea what is going to rain down if I test positive. 

I never thought about seeing a neurologist for the balance issues.  I'm definitely going to do that.  Gluten ataxia and all that stuff is really scary.  I've already got mobility issues, and to think that it could have been gluten that has had a huge role in it makes me even more determined to get a diagnosis so that if I do have it, I can help my kids prevent some of this stuff. 

It's so amazing to me that gluten can do so much damage in so many body systems and so many areas of your life.  It makes me sick just to think about it. 

I do hope that I end up being celiac just for the fact that I can DO something about it.  Because if it isn't celiac, then I don't know what to do for my kids.  Because we've got so much bad health that runs in my family.  If it's not celiac and they can't do anything to predictably prevent all the problems that just "run in the family", then it's like all these types of bad health are just lurking out there.  If it's celiac, we just have to slay one big dragon.  If it's not, and it's just bad family health, it's like there are a dozen little dragons.  And I know that not every bad health thing that can happen is related to celiac, but you guys know what I mean. 

Nancy

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Nancy,

I know most people think it would be ridiculous to say "I hope I have this disease." But I know just how you feel. At least if I test positive it will explain numerous other things and I can do something about this. When you don't know what it is and the doctors all sit about with their fingers in their ears saying: "It is all in your head, " a positive result will show that is isn't. When things don't show up after awhile you start thinking that you are as nuts as they say you are and when it shows up I have the joy of saying: "see, I was right." I did that with my thyroid antibodies test which showed that the TSH was lying and the fact I had nodules.

Rusla

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Claire Collaborator
Claire
Posted
Hey Lynne - is that kind of like the Bless His Heart clause?  Let's try it...  ---

My husband called me a hypochondriac, bless his heart. 

Kind of makes you almost feel sorry for him doesn't it...?  :lol: 

And with the notebook thing, it's been all I can do not to start a whole organizational system.  If my husband thinks just visiting a message board is obsessive, he has NO idea what is going to rain down if I test positive. 

I never thought about seeing a neurologist for the balance issues.  I'm definitely going to do that.  Gluten ataxia and all that stuff is really scary.  I've already got mobility issues, and to think that it could have been gluten that has had a huge role in it makes me even more determined to get a diagnosis so that if I do have it, I can help my kids prevent some of this stuff. 

It's so amazing to me that gluten can do so much damage in so many body systems and so many areas of your life.  It makes me sick just to think about it. 

I do hope that I end up being celiac just for the fact that I can DO something about it.  Because if it isn't celiac, then I don't know what to do for my kids.  Because we've got so much bad health that runs in my family.  If it's not celiac and they can't do anything to predictably prevent all the problems that just "run in the family", then it's like all these types of bad health are just lurking out there.  If it's celiac, we just have to slay one big dragon.  If it's not, and it's just bad family health, it's like there are a dozen little dragons.  And I know that not every bad health thing that can happen is related to celiac, but you guys know what I mean. 

Nancy

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

The testing for ataxia is generally productive though it is possible to come to the end of the testing road with an 'inknown cause' diagnosis. However you have to come up negative on a lot of things for that to happen. Don't let any doctor talk you how of finding out what is going on.

Neurological exam comes first, then an MRI of the brain. If there is damage there relative to ataxia it will show. After that a decision is made. If your symptoms and your family history suggest a genetic disorder then genetic testing (from a blood sample) is the next step. Then you wait - as I am doing now - for the shoe to drop. I will have test results in January. Hang in there. Claire

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Nantzie Collaborator
Nantzie
  • Author
Posted

Thanks guys. I've been reading some of the threads on gluten ataxia the last couple of days, and I'm getting a sinking feeling that this may be an issue. My grandmother (the one with schizophrenia) also had Parkinson's, as did her brother. And I have a cousin on my dad's side who has multiple sclerosis.

I've also noticed that I've been getting slurred speech lately. I notice it a lot when I'm reading to my kids. Almost feels like my tongue is too big. I'm also having a little trouble with typing; making way more typos lately than I've ever been used to. I used to make my living typing (90 wpm) and still have the habit of proofreading and correcting mistakes as I go.

I've got a lot of doctor appointments to make... I'll keep you guys posted.

Nancy

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