Emotional Stress On Yourself, And Loved Ones

[Waitingindreams]

Hey guys, okay so...my family has not been supportive about the gluten free thing at all really...almost a year later and they still don't even know what celiac disease really is. They also refused to get tested themselves (citing that they'd "rather die" than give up gluten - nice...) so since I live with my parents still, it's a very toxic environment both emotionally and physically, since I almost always find crumbs in my bowls, in the silverware, on my side of the table before I've even eaten, etc. My boyfriend and I are trying to work toward moving in together, but it's complicated seeing as how he wants to move close to work, and I work about an hour away. 

 

I'm smart about my stuff - I buy/cook my own food, wash my dishes/silverware before using them, etc...but it still kind of sucks to not even have a little bit of support at home. Some of my friends are supportive, but most don't really understand it and haven't really bothered to try. One even doesn't think celiac disease is real. So, a lot of my support comes from this forum - and the bulk of it really does come from my boyfriend, who has been fantastic. Due to this, I do lean on him a lot...it's been a very difficult transition for me emotionally and physically, watching my symptoms go up and down...and now with my elimination diets. He doesn't understand why I am giving up different foods and it's stressing him out because he's afraid I'm not getting enough nutrients. He wants to help us find a place, he's been looking...but it's easier said than done and the distance doesn't help at all. So he's stressing himself out about that because he wants me out of my parents' house (and I want out as well) I don't make that much money, so I know I wouldn't be able to afford an apartment on my own, but he refuses to buckle and waste money on rent. He wants to get a house. I don't have any friends I could move in with, they're all either married/engaged or live too far away for it to be convenient for me. Basically, I am not getting out of my house any time soon so I am making due with the situation I am in - but it's still stressful and I still need to vent sometimes.

 

We always talk about how it will be when we live together...less stress, how it will be great, and I know he'll be more respectful of the celiac disease (at least he won't leave bread crumbs all over where I sit) but last night when I was talking to him (online) about potentially him having a separate counter for his food, or me having my own pans (just really typing out my thoughts/ideas) he pretty much snapped on me. I was just talking about guidelines we'd have to follow (using tips from this forum) and it was like he snapped. He told me I was really getting on his nerves, and that I was acting like he was "the bad guy" and saying that he's not my family, and that I don't need to act like he doesn't do enough for me already. What?! I was just discussing tips I learned here, I wasn't being mean, or telling him he doesn't do enough (in fact I ALWAYS go out of my way to thank him for his support and tell him how lucky I am to have him) he says it was hard for him to tell my tone because it was online.. (I don't think it would have turned into this big thing in person) but he also admitted a bit later that he hates feeling that, as a man, he can't protect me. I told him that I was trying to tell him ways that he could protect me. It's just devastating, I know I'm super stressed out for good reason, but I didn't know my health issues and stress was taking that much of a toll on him. I've never acted like he doesn't do a lot for me, I don't know why he'd be so quick to jump that I was acting like he was inadequate. Maybe because he already feels inadequate because he hasn't found a house that we can afford yet. I feel terrible, last night was the first night in a while where I really had a good cry because of my situation. Mostly, I stay positive, I do lots of research, I'm careful about what I eat, I talk to multiple doctors...etc. I even started doing yoga and meditation to help with my stress levels. But last night...wow. That was the first time it hit me how this is going to be for the rest of my life and how I will always have to be super careful about cross contamination even in my own house/kitchen. It just really hit me and I finally let it all out. I feel like a burden sometimes, I don't know if anyone else has felt that way but even this morning I still have lingering feelings. He apologized, he told me he's stressed...but I don't want to add to his stress. I don't want to break up with him because I love him, but I keep feeling like I am making his life harder than it has to be. I hate feeling like this, I just want my life back. 

 

I just needed to vent all of that out, and i guess get advice from people who might have been in a similar situation - where their spouses/loved ones were stressing out over their health as well. I don't want to drag him down, or make him constantly worried about me. I'm doing everything I can to get and stay healthy. Any advice?

[BlessedMommy]

Have you given him literature on celiac yet? Some people are not trying to be difficult, but it's truly hard for them to understand celiac. If you end up getting married later on, you'll need him to understand and be fully on board with the way that you need to live for the rest of your life.

 

One possible option if you live with a gluten eater is to simply have a gluten free kitchen (or a 99% gluten free kitchen, I allow prepackaged gluten foods and similar things if they're carefully bagged up and segregated from my food) and to let the gluten eater eat gluten out of the house.

 

We do that and it seems to work great. My husband doesn't mind eating gluten-free at home to keep me safer. 

[Waitingindreams]

He reads up on celiac in his own time, I've linked him to this forum multiple times as well but I'm not sure if he actually reads the posts on here or not. I sent him a link to the forum for loved ones of people with celiac yesterday morning after he was getting really worried about me eliminating foods. I'm trying to help him understand, I know it's a lot to take in.

 

He is really great about cross contamination, he keeps a toothbrush at my house so that he can brush his teeth before he kisses me, he tries not to even touch me after he's eaten gluten, he does go above and beyond in a lot of ways. I wouldn't make him give up gluten, but he did tell me that if I'm cooking gluten free food a lot of the time, that he'd probably just end up eating a lot of that with me because he wants to be healthy too. But I'm sure he'll want his regular cereal, his occasional frozen pizza, etc etc and that's FINE...I know he'd be careful, I was just trying to explain to him ways that will make it easier for us, like the designated counters. 

 

There are times where (when we used to go out to eat - we haven't been lately do to all of my elimination diets) he would get gluten free food so that he could kiss me after. So he does sometimes eat gluten free food to support me...or when I would make us nachos (I miss those!) he didn't mind that I would look for certified gluten free chips and etc to make them. But he doesn't really care for a lot of the gluten free food - he does try all of it, but he feels bad that I have to eat it (lol!) I don't really eat much processed gluten free food...I try to keep it to frozen fruits/vegetables, fresh tomatoes/cucumbers, plain brown rice, organic salsa, etc...when we move in together I plan on baking my own paleo breads. 

 

I think if I'm doing all of the cooking and he likes the food, he will adapt to a more gluten free lifestyle to save stress and money. I plan on (once we move in together and I have my own cooking space) reverting to more of a paleo based diet and home making all of my own food...so I'm guessing once I feel a lot better, I'd have a cheat day and we could go out to a safe restaurant and i'd get a gluten free calzone and he could get whatever he wanted. I don't think he'd mind in general, but I do think he'd feel put out by not being allowed to have any gluten food in the house..so I think frozen pizzas and certain other foods would have to be allowed, as long as it's prepared carefully. Ugh! I think it will be fine once we're actually living together and I start cooking more and eating healthier.

[mamaw]

Stress  can be  a  major issue  in the beginning.. remember  it is a lifestyle  for  life  change...Celiac  is  hard  to understand  with  over 300 different  symptoms &  we all react  so different  . It is  hard  for us  with celiac  to  understand  at  times  so  why would  it  be  easy for  a  non celiac  person.....your  boyfriend is  understandably is  stressed  as  well as  you... the more  you are  stressed  about  celiac  the  more  he will be  stressed....love does  that  to people...nothing  worse  than not  being  able to help  or  heal  a loved  one...hard  lesson  to swallow....

I  think once  you  get  it  all  together in your  head  & know  exactly your  plan  for  living  with  celiac  it  will reduce  the  burden  on him , he  will know  you  have  it  under  control....As a  celiac  I  think of  this  as my  issue not  my husbands,  or  any family members.. And  like  you my  family  isn't   supportive  in  fact  we  don't  get  invited  to any family  parties  because  they  are not interested  in  making  gluten-free  food  we  could  eat...plus  knowing  this  I  would not  trust  it  anyway.... with  four  in the family gluten-free  one  would  think  they  would  be  more  in  tune to celiac...but  not.....

I  have  several family members  who  I  would  give  a  guess  has   celiac  but  would  rather  die  eating  wheat  than  go  gluten-free.....

So  a lot of  families  are  just  like  yours   , not  interested....

 

If  you  can find  a  local support  group  that  you & your  boyfriend  could attend  would  be of  great   help  as  he  could  see  & hear  of  others  who  he  can see in  person; makes  things appear more  real... 

 

  He  sounds  like  a  nice  guy  so  hang  onto  him..... 

And  I know  we  always  say  this  but  its  true"  It  always  gets  better  with  time & knowledge"..

 

hugs

[GF Lover]

Hi Waitingindreams.

 

It kinda sounds like your family and boyfriend have "diet fatigue" meaning: they are tired of "your" diet.  Living with your parents is not only stressful on you but incredibly stressful on your parents, trust me on this.  This may sound harsh but it is your responsibility to make sure your dishes have no crumbs before you use them, wipe crumbs off the counter before you use it.  I'm assuming you are over 18?  If you are then you are a guest in your parents home and it is your responsibility to eat safely.  It is not up to your Parents to make sure there are no crumbs, it is their house.  As far as your boyfriend, if he is the only one you talk to about Celiac issues then he is most definitely fatigued from hearing about it.  Don't let this diet become your whole life!  Eat to Live, NOT, Live to Eat.  A celiac can eat safely all on their own without assistance from anyone else.  Your talking about Paleo diets and elimination diets....Just eat whole fresh foods.  Meat, vegitables and fruit.  If a particular fruit upsets your stomach then don't eat it.  Try it again in 6 months or a year when you are healed.  Many new people think they may have a ton of intolerances when they just need to heal.  There are also some foods that will never agree with you, just don't eat it.  There are plenty of choices out there.  Stay away from processed food because....well, just because it's not good for you....lol.

 

Please read this post as it is intended, to help you see the situation and not alienate the people around you.  It doesn't matter what condition you have, what disease or syndrome.  If that disease is all you are, then you've lost yourself in the disease.

 

Colleen

[Waitingindreams]

Mamaw - Thank you! Yeah, I will definitely hang on to him - he is great, and I don't want to let go of him..I just don't want him to be stressed. I hate that my health and diet are affecting him this much, I am doing everything I can just to get healthy..and I am also doing everything I can to limit my stress levels. (Yoga, meditation, just relaxing whenever I can - taking time for 'me'.) See that is exactly what I was trying to do - I am researching, talking to multiple doctors, talking on the forum, I am doing everything I can to make this an easier/smoother transition for both of us...but it seemed to stress him out even more. I guess I'll have to just take it one day at a time and only really talk about it once we find a house. In the meantime, I think I'll just keep working on ways to feel better and de-stress. It sucks not having a support system at home, I'm sorry you have to deal with that as well.

 

GFLover - I know you meant your post as a 'tough love' post in a sense, but I am confused - I do take responsibility for my own food and I do wash my own dishes and take care of everything myself. I am not complaining about that, I would do that anyway. It would just be nice to have some kind of emotional support. Yes, I am over 18 - but I do pay my share of the bills to live there, and again, I pay for my own food and make my own food. I give them money for bills that are not my responsibility, and they borrow money from me all the time, while I don't take anything from them. I have a full time job, my own car, and I pay for everything myself. I am not 'mooching' off of them or living at home for any other reason than I cannot afford to get out  on my own. It seems like you thought that was the case, and I just wanted to clarify that because this is not a situation where I expect everything handed to me or expect them to cater to me - I don't. I don't ask them to cook gluten free for me or buy me food, I don't really ask anything from them at all...but it is kind of frustrating when I can't even sit at the table without there being crumbs all over it. It gets to you after awhile. 

 

I agree with you about eating to live, not living to eat. I don't want this disease to become me - I've actually said I don't want it to define me. Me living with my parents is not stressful on them at all - they haven't changed their eating habits or anything else, they never talk about it with me, and I give them money, lol. As for my boyfriend - yes it stresses him out but I think it's more because he's feeling helpless. I really wasn't asking for ways to help my parents understand, or sympathy, or anything along those lines. I understand and take full responsibility for my health (physically, emotionally, mentally, etc) which is why I am also doing yoga. I understand everything you said in your post and I agree with everything you said, but some of it does not apply to me - I already take responsibility for everything you mentioned and I don't expect my parents to alter their lives for me, or my boyfriend either. I, admittedly, have become consumed with getting better. Every time I see my skin issues aren't improving, or I get a stomach ache, or I'm bloated, etc...I obsess over what I'm doing wrong. This is why I am working on de-stressing, too. I do think it has consumed my life too much, so thank you for helping me see that, I just don't want you (or anyone else) to get the impression that I expect the whole world to stop and cater to me. i don't. I just want to feel better.

[GF Lover]

Waiting.

 

I didn't get that impression at all.  I'm saying that the crumbs left on the table do not bother your Parents, they bother you.  When my kids are here I remind them "my house, my rules".  I think if you continue with your stress management you will begin to get your head wrapped around the whole thing better.  When I was growing up the world was completely different.  People cared about people.  Neighbors stopped and talked at the mailbox.  (Yes, I still do that.)  I tell my kids now, you are on your own because no one wants to hear your problems because they have their own things to worry about.  It's too stressful to be a sounding board for everyone you know.  You will find your way, you seem like you have a good head on your shoulders and are willing to work for what you want.  I applaud you for that.  Sometimes I tell myself, live more and quit just thinking about it.  This whole celiac thing is just a bump for you.  Manage your disease and live a great life.  That's what it's all about!

 

Colleen

[Waitingindreams]

Yeah, I definitely see what you're saying. I think it's just that they kind of pick on me for my issues sometimes...and as a kid, when i started feeling sick up through adulthood they treated me like a hypochondriac. If they just listened to me back then...but that's not a healthy way of thinking, and I realize that. What's done is done. 

 

I've been reminiscing about the past a lot lately, and how fun and full of life I was - no stress, no worrying about what I ate, no skin issues, and how I took all of that for granted.I'm constantly exhausted and drained, and I think to myself how much I miss my old self. Thanks for the applause (-cues "Applause by Lady Gaga" I live for the applause, applause -- ahem..) Lol. It's just a lot to take in emotionally and I never really let myself feel it and acknowledge it. Instead it's been "GO GO GO, research, talk to doctors, stop eating that food, eat this food instead...try this shampoo, oh now try this one, it's more natural" I am on it constantly. I need to just relax and enjoy the time with my boyfriend and enjoy being me. I am not this disease. It is not me. Thanks. I'll get better, and hopefully this will start to feel like the 'bump' it really is. I am also looking into a therapist in case I need to talk to someone, because I don't want to drag him down or stress him out. This is my health, not his. 

[GF Lover]

Yeah, I definitely see what you're saying. I think it's just that they kind of pick on me for my issues sometimes...and as a kid, when i started feeling sick up through adulthood they treated me like a hypochondriac. If they just listened to me back then...but that's not a healthy way of thinking, and I realize that. What's done is done. 

 

I've been reminiscing about the past a lot lately, and how fun and full of life I was - no stress, no worrying about what I ate, no skin issues, and how I took all of that for granted.I'm constantly exhausted and drained, and I think to myself how much I miss my old self. Thanks for the applause (-cues "Applause by Lady Gaga" I live for the applause, applause -- ahem..) Lol. It's just a lot to take in emotionally and I never really let myself feel it and acknowledge it. Instead it's been "GO GO GO, research, talk to doctors, stop eating that food, eat this food instead...try this shampoo, oh now try this one, it's more natural" I am on it constantly. I need to just relax and enjoy the time with my boyfriend and enjoy being me. I am not this disease. It is not me. Thanks. I'll get better, and hopefully this will start to feel like the 'bump' it really is. I am also looking into a therapist in case I need to talk to someone, because I don't want to drag him down or stress him out. This is my health, not his. 

 

 

Ok.  Now your talking.  And I can completely empathise with you.  When I started my gluten free diet I was thankful because I was so debilitated and I was getting better.  Then I got hit with a cancer diagnosis.  That one got in my head really bad.  After a year of surgeries and immunotherapy I was still consumed with "having" cancer.  It has taken some time being stable with my cancer to realize that I am still alive and need to live life as fully as I can.  I learned how to manage "my head" and get on with it.  I have also seen therapists most of my life and it is needed comfort.  I cannot imagine voicing all of my concerns and fears with my husband.  I would drive him nuts.  He gets enough of my insanity already...lol.  I'm not saying that cancer never enters my mind anymore, I have scans and bloodwork every 3 months so my anxiety ramps up at those times but otherwise I just stay aware of my conditions and live "with" them and not "because of them".

 

I haven't used this line in some time but it applies here.  "Some people see the cup as half full, some see it as half empty, I am just glad I have a cup!"  and IrishHeart will tell you that is just time to belly up to the bar 

 

Colleen

[JosieToo]

Would your parents be willing to visit with a reputable celiac doctor or dietician who could explain how dangerous gluten is for you, and how to protect yourself?

[mamaw]

I do have  another  comment!  sorry  but  you may  not  like this one! You mentioned  you  will lay low until you & your boyfriend  find a  house  then you will get  into  it more  about  celiac... I  can  honestly  say  this   thought or to think  it  will be better  to push  the  celiac  diet  after  you are together  is  a  bomb  waiting to explode...Do  this  right  now  in the beginning, no  excuses  just do it...  If  you  wait  until  a house  together  he  may  feel  you  snagged  him  into  something & now  with the  expense  no way for  either to get out....Plus  when two people  start  to make  a life together  they don't  need  added  drama,  it is hard  enough  in the beginning...

You are gluten-free  now  so  learn to  control  this lifestyle  on your  own  without  anyone  else...Again , I know  this  diet  can be difficult  but  take  this bull  by the horns  & beat  it  up... Please  never  let  this  disease  define  you, you take  control....

you can do  this &  when  you win  you  will feel like you won the lottery!!!!!

[Waitingindreams]

GFLover - Thank you for telling me your story, and offering some insightful advice. I can't imagine being hit with something so devastating, especially not after feeling like you were finally getting better. I'm glad you have such a healthy, positive perspective on it though, and it's good that you keep up with it. I think I'm going to try to handle this on my own more by venting in other ways and keep doing the de-stressing (yoga, meditation, etc) and if after a month I'm still feeling overwhelmed, I'll look into talking to a therapist. I saw my boyfriend tonight, and I am already getting better about not obsessing over the celiac disease with him. I can't let it consume me, though it's certainly taken a lot of my time.. I think you all can emphasize with just wanting to feel better and feeling like you're just not getting there. It's like fighting an uphill battle. But having you all to kind of bounce my concerns off of is better than voicing it to him (at least not all the time - though I swear, I don't just vent to him every night about ths, really!) Thanks again. I'm feeling more at ease now that I've finally realized I'm really letting this control my life too much.

 

 

JosieToo - No, I don't think so. :\ I mean if they won't even take the effort to do a simple google search...argh! It's okay, I'm being proactive and researching it on my own...it would just be nice if they acted like they cared that my entire life was turned upside down. Not even a quick apology for treating me like I was nuts/a hypochondriac for years when everything really started going downhill. (I mostly had symptoms that couldn't be 'seen', such as dizziness and extreme fatigue, so I was treated like I was making it up)

 

MaMaw - I think I probably worded things a bit strangely in my haste to let out a vent (in my defense I was also at work - lol) I didn't mean to give off that impression. I am fully gluten free right now and he knows this, and he knows it is for life and he wants me to get better and he wants to help me get better. He pretty much eats whatever he wants, and he always makes sure to brush his teeth before kissing me. He's very good about the cross contamination already. He's even considering buying a house right now that just happens to have two kitchens (there's an extra kitchen in the basement area) And don't worry, I have repeatedly told him not to rush into the house because it's a huge deal. I have the gluten free part downpat, it's actually figuring out my other food issues that I need help with - hence the elimination diets. He's getting frustrated because in his mind my diet is already so limited, so why am I cutting more food out? Which is understandable. I didn't mean to come off as that I'm not handling the diet, or that I expect people to help me control it - I know this is all on me and i take full responsibility. However, "Please never let this disease define you, you take control...." definitely what I need to concentrate on. I didn't even realize how much it was affecting my entire life. I mean...you need to eat to survive, and...well, you know how it is. But as I mentioned to GFlover, I have become so consumed with getting better that I did not realize I was borderline obsessing...and working myself into a complete ball of stress. I'll beat this, and I know he will be by my side. He's great. He likes what I cook for him too, and today  I made him a quesadilla that just happened to be gluten free (I only had gluten free wraps, the other ingredients were naturally gluten free as well) so he is willing to eat some gluten free food, but I have no problem with him still eating 'gluten' food in the future. No, he is great...I just really wanted advice on how to kind of control how much this is taking a toll on my life, because I don't want it to affect his too much. I mean it comes with the territory when you love someone, but I don't want to stress him out over this too.

 

It's just overwhelming as I'm sure all of you know. I think part of my reason for freaking out is that I was only diagnosed with a blood test. I was very, very sick at the time I was diagnosed...and I don't know if that was what made my doctor decide not to confirm it with an endoscopy or not, but i never had one done. Now every time I have a stomach ache, or bloating, or diarrhea - I am paranoid that my intestines are completely ruined. I'm lactose intolerant, so I know my villi are pretty flat.Every time a doctor presses down on my stomach to check it, I am sore all over and my belly is just...hard. Last time my doctor felt my stomach he told me I was all 'inflamed'. That's scary. I'm scared, but I'm taking on way too much at once. I'm trying to lose weight, and clear skin issues, and this and that along with having a social life and working full time, and whatever else that needs to be done. I don't yet have a GI doctor...I have been researching doctors around my area to find a high rated one that specializes in celiac disease. 

 

I think I can - no...I know I can beat this. It's just been a long ride and I know you all can relate.

[nvsmom]

... Now every time I have a stomach ache, or bloating, or diarrhea - I am paranoid that my intestines are completely ruined. I'm lactose intolerant, so I know my villi are pretty flat.Every time a doctor presses down on my stomach to check it, I am sore all over and my belly is just...hard. Last time my doctor felt my stomach he told me I was all 'inflamed'. That's scary. I'm scared, but I'm taking on way too much at once. 

 

I think I can - no...I know I can beat this. It's just been a long ride and I know you all can relate.

 

 

 

 

Just remember that your small intestines do not actually feel pain. The discomfort you are feeling is not a direct correlation to the damage in your intestines. I believe it is that inflammation that is affecting other parts of your gut. Your villi are damaged but they will start to heal once the autoantibody levels in your body die down after being gluten-free for a time.

 

Give yourself time. It can take weeks or months to start feeling better... but you will.

 

Best wishes.

[mamaw]

hoping  only the  best  for you & yours..... and  YES,  you will find  your  way.. Positive  attitude always  brings  positive  results......keep  us all updated!

[Waitingindreams]

nvsmom - Thank you for your feedback/well wishes! I actually didn't know that intestines don't feel pain. That is slightly reassuring. I've been gluten free for almost a year now, though I know I've made mistakes here and there, so I am changing to more of a "clean" diet (not paleo yet, but looks like I'm heading in that direction) Since I've been doing elimination diets, I have come to the unfortunate conclusion that I have issues with all legumes (beans (black beans, kidney beans, etc), peanuts, SOY, and...-sigh- my beloved hummus) So maybe after I'm legume free for awhile I'll start to feel better. My boyfriend today actually noted how I looked like I was losing weight - I just wasn't as bloated!!

 

Mamaw- Thank you, I really appreciate it. I think I've learned that I was obsessing far too much, I don't know how the rest of you handled your diagnosis and how it affected your lives or the lives of others around you, but for me this has really been a process I've done on my own, since the doctor that diagnosed me was my PCP and basically all he said was (in a voicemail) "You have celiac disease. I'm putting you on a gluten free diet, see you in 6 weeks." My boyfriend and I started dating (officially) about 10 days before I was diagnosed. 10 days! And he really has been fantastic, he understands to a point and he knows i'm with this for life, he just doesn't understand why I'm cutting out so much other food. But if I didn't do that, I never would have noticed the legume issue/intolerance or the yeast issue. I feel a lot better after talking to you guys and I think that I needed the wakeup call. i can't make this become my life.

 

As always, you guys are a great support group, even when there's tough love involved. So glad I found this site, it's really helped!

[Wi11ow]

Waitingindreams - I haven't contributed to your post and I don't want to hyjack it.... but I do want to thank you for sharing your story and worries. I don't have a boyfriend or husband. No support and newly dx... I have been thinking I can't possibly get involved with anyone with such a huge problem. Something so life changing. Such a burden.  But I've read your posts working through this, owning it, realizing how much control you have even in a bad situation, and it gives me hope. I have come to terms with it. I am actually happy to know what is wrong and be able to do something about it.  But "listening" to you and your situation has given me hope to deal with on my own. I just wanted to say thanks.

You have such a great attitude, it is inspiring. Thank you for sharing it!!

[Waitingindreams]

Wi11ow - Thank you for your kind words! I can definitely understand why you feel it'd be hard to get involved someone presently. I always said that if i didn't meet my boyfriend when I did, I would have held off on dating until I had this completely under control. Almost a year later, and I still don't have all of this completely under control - it's definitely a learning process, As for feeling like a burden, I sometimes feel like that as well (mostly to my boyfriend) but I let him do whatever he wants...if he wants to go to Sonic and get a burger, fine..if he wants to get a pizza, fine! I just make myself some chopped vegetables and rice or something else that is safe for me. In other words, he goes out of his way to keep me safe and make sure he doesn't make me sick, but at the same time I don't want him to have to ALWAYS eat gluten free, or always go to gluten free restaurants, etc. It's definitely a balance...because despite all of my precautions to not feel like a burden, my obsessing over clearing up all of my issues and getting healthy has been stressing him out as well. (Which I don't want) You should date if/when you are comfortable, don't worry - the right guy won't mind that you need to eat this way. I've even inspired mine to eat healthier for the most part. 

 

I am glad that I could inspire you. People on this forum inspire me all the time as well. 

 

Remember, you do have support. This forum is a huge support system and whenever I feel down or overwhelmed, I either read posts on here or post my own mini vent. People will either give you some tough love to help you see things in a new perspective, or they'll offer kind words and insightful advice. Both have helped me immensely...heck, even just getting it off my chest to people who understand helps immensely. I am still learning myself, but if you ever want any advice or some tips you can feel free to message me and we can learn together!