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First Thanksgiving Since Diagnosis...feeling Anxious


icelandgirl

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icelandgirl Proficient

Tomorrow is my first Thanksgiving since my diagnosis. I feel so anxious about it. We will be going to my mom's for dinner. I'm making several things to bring. But I still feel anxious. I don't want to get sick. I trust my mom...she has separate cutting boards, etc to use for when I'm there...but it's such a big meal. So many opportunities for something to go wrong. I also have been eating only meat, fruit and veggies for months but would like to at least try the dessert I'm bringing. But I'm scared to eat something else and get sick.

And I'm also completely annoyed with myself for feeling this way. For being afraid of food. For not feeling like I can just go and enjoy.

Thanks for letting me vent. Any encouragement is welcome.

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kareng Grand Master

Maybe they would let you get all your own food first, before it is set out for the others?  To avoid someone dropping a gluteny roll or spoonful of dressing into the safe mashed potatoes?  That is if you believe the food is safe.  

 

Do bring an emergency back-up food - just in case.

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icelandgirl Proficient

Hi Karen...I'm fairly sure I can go through first and I know my mom will do everything she can to keep things safe.  My step dad on the other hand doesn't get it.  For example, 2 of my kids have severe peanut allergies...diagnosed years ago...and he's more than a few times offered them peanuts.  Seriously!  So, I'm just worried that he will somehow have gluten on him and somehow touch something.  I realize I'm overthinking.  I do.  And I remember how sick I was last year at this time and it's so much better.  But I don't want to get sick.  One meal isn't worth being sick for a week.

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mamaw Community Regular

It always  is  scary  eating  at  someone else's  home....as we  all know we  can get  ill from  grandma's cooking...but  the  nice  thing  is  your Mom  got  it & she  will give  it  her  best  shot to keep you  safe.....&  another good  point  is  you  know mishaps  happen  so  serve yourself  first & pass  on foods  you are not sure of....maybe  take  your  own stuffing  , dessert  is  a  wonderful way to introduce  non-believers  that  celiac  food  is  not  yucky &  tasteless....

maybe  take  a  gluten ease  or  one  of the  ones  for  accidents (gluten) before  you eat  so  if  a mishap happens  that  may  ease  your  pain....

I'm hoping  you have  a  wonderful holiday &  all goes  well.....

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icelandgirl Proficient

Hi mamaw...I agree...Part of my fear is just eating at someone else's house. I've been pretty much eating at home and doing all the cooking. I am bringing the dressing, corn bread and 2 desserts. I think know everyone will enjoy them. I'm going to try to just enjoy the company. Thanks for the well wishes!

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cap6 Enthusiast

Pile your plate with lots of your own dressing, corn bread & desserts and be sure you go first. Even if it means scooping out your portions as it comes out of the oven. My first year filled my plate first I hid my plate in the laundry room till time to sit down! lol Get involved with the food prep so that you know exactly what you will be eating. And, if it makes you feel less anxious, take some meat & veggies of your own from home. Whatever it takes to make you feel safe!

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icelandgirl Proficient

Lol Cap! Love you doing that with your food. I took the pumpkin roll out of the oven a bit ago and when my 3 year old got up she said, "mmm...what's that good smell?"

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littleredhead Newbie

I understand your anxiousness!  This is my first Thanksgiving since being diagnosed as well and I'm a little terrified.  We will get through tomorrow and all will be fine!

 

I'm going to my boyfriend's for dinner and I know there won't be much of anything that won't be cross-contaminated or filled with gluten and it's so difficult to not make it awkward.  If I don't eat anything-- it's awkward, if I bring side dishes and only eat them-- it's awkward, so I'm just accepting the awkward moments and questions that will ensue!  We've been dating for a couple years but we are still in college- next year I think I will bring something because I will know the family well enough!

 

Good luck with tomorrow! <3

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Nikki2777 Community Regular

I understand your anxiousness!  This is my first Thanksgiving since being diagnosed as well and I'm a little terrified.  We will get through tomorrow and all will be fine!

 

I'm going to my boyfriend's for dinner and I know there won't be much of anything that won't be cross-contaminated or filled with gluten and it's so difficult to not make it awkward.  If I don't eat anything-- it's awkward, if I bring side dishes and only eat them-- it's awkward, so I'm just accepting the awkward moments and questions that will ensue!  We've been dating for a couple years but we are still in college- next year I think I will bring something because I will know the family well enough!

 

Good luck with tomorrow! <3

 

You know, I can't imagine dating with this (I was long married when I got my dx), but I've accepted 'awkward'.  I have come to embrace 'awkward', and made it part of my 'thing'.  Last year, I didn't feel like dealing with it all, so I brought an Artisan Bistro frozen turkey meal to dinner, popped it in the micro and drank wine.  I just tell people that I can't take any risks at all right now, and that one mishap and I'll be sick for three weeks.  Sometimes when we waffle to be polite it's confusing to the people that are not fully informed.

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nvsmom Community Regular

Hi Icelandgirl, it sounds like you will be safe and well taken care of.  I agree that you should help with food prep and get into the food first.  It makes the most sense. Watch out for cc like bread crumbs in the butter that is drizzled on veggies or mashes potatoes, and make sure that bird wasn't stuffed with gluten before you eat it.

 

Happy Thanksgiving.  :)

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SMRI Collaborator

My first TG being gluten-free too..however, we are at my sister's and they are gluten-free as well and have been longer that I have.  Even planning the meal, other than the stuffing (which there are gluten-free options for but they are making the gluten kind too), pretty much everything else is naturally gluten-free so that helps.  We are not pie eaters so that eliminates that issue.  If you are doing buffet style, put the gluten stuff in a separate area.  If you are doing a sitdown meal, maybe keep your gluten free stuff in the kitchen and just dish up in there?  Set aside some turkey and such so it's not being passed around?

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BlessedMommy Rising Star

My MIL passed away this year, so nearly all of the Thanksgiving dinner will be gluten free, because I will be cooking most of it and bringing it over. There will be a pumpkin swirl cheesecake and a vegetarian dinner roast for the gluten eaters. I'm bringing a homemade pumpkin pie, cranberry sauce, stuffing, mashed potatoes, and homemade pot pies over. FIL is bringing a veggie tray.

 

I plan to set the gluteny items in a separate area and fill my plate first. I plan to hold my pies over to the side, because the gluten eaters have their own versions and don't need mine. That way I can keep them safer.

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icelandgirl Proficient

Thanks all for your ideas and support. I'm still anxious, but determined to have a good day. Happy Thanksgiving to all!

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cap6 Enthusiast

"Awkward" sort of goes along with celiac I think, especially in the beginning. My first dinner party with friends after diagnosis I took my own little plate of food. When I (and my plate) sat down there was total quiet as everyone stared at me. At that time I was not a cook in any way, shape or form! The only comment made by anyone was "Oh, what is that". sigh! lol It gets easier. Everyone, you and those around you, need time to get used to this new thing called celiac.

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mbrookes Community Regular

So, Iceland girl, how did it go?

 

I don't know why this thing is underlining everything and I don't know how to stop it. Guess I will just start pushing random buttons!

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icelandgirl Proficient

Hi mbrookes...it went really well. I didn't get glutened. Yay! I had a bit of an upset tummy the next day but I think it was all the rich food. Lots of butter...not always great for someone without a gallbladder. It was my first Thanksgiving without gall bladder too.

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LDJofDenver Apprentice

I hope everything went well and you suffered no ill effects.  We all (celiacs) experience those anxious feelings when we're going to someone else's home to eat.  I cook Thanksgiving so I am in control of all of it, gluten free stuffing and gravy, every seasoning, handling, etc.   I have a very dear friend who had us over this summer for bbq and was trying to be careful but ended up cc-ing me anyway.  Sigh. Some get it.  Some don't.  Sometimes even the ones who "get it" mishandle something along the way.  I've gotten more gutsy over the years about calling ahead and asking what they're making, what ingredients, brands, what side dishes, etc. - often even insisting that I bring the main dish/item (then I know, if anything looks shaky when I get there) that I've got something to eat even if I pass other items by.  Yes, we have to look out for ourselves.

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