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Would This Bother You?

Kimbalou

By Kimbalou
in Coping with Celiac Disease

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Kimbalou Enthusiast
Kimbalou
Posted

Sometimes I don't know if I am just too sensitive or if people are just plain rude and insensitive. Yesterday at work a co-worker who knows I have to eat gluten free went out and bought a bunch of pasta and cakes to welcome back a co-worker who was gone for a few months. I walked into the break room and saw nothing gluten free at all. She looked at me and said "Sorry!". She also admitted she thought about getting some veggies to go with the food...but didn't. she even said she thought the restaurant had gluten-free options!  One person said she would eat a piece for me. Yeah, right.

I kept thinking about this after I left work. Is it really that hard to buy some veggies? Even for the people who eat gluten?

How would you feel? Would you just blow it off? I am just tired of people's insensitivity.

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kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

I think I wouldn't be bothered by this. I am not sure I would even want to eat the carrot sticks with all the gluten around it.

I prefer to not eat what others bring - even if I know it's gluten-free because of cc issues and it seems to encourage people to try to make me gluten-free food that isn't safe. For instance, I ate something once that I knew to be safe and now this friend is always making stuff and telling me - it's gluten-free! But it isn't always - she doesn't understand cc or that soy sauce isn't always safe. However, one group I am in brought little individual bags of chips and saw that I would have one. Now they always bring them so I can have one - even when I am trying to limit calories! Lol

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nvsmom Community Regular
nvsmom
Posted

It wasn't thoughtful but I would not be upset by it. Some people, and I was one like that, think immediately of the foods one can't have and get stuck there. Sort of like: Oh, he can't have peanuts so what will I feed him for lunch if he can't have peanut butter and the jam and butter is contaminated? We can't have sandwiches so what will we do?  KWIM?  They immediately forget soup, salad, chili, eggs, and such.

 

It would have been nice if they had got you something but she chose not to - you can't change people, darn it.   ;)

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icelandgirl Proficient
icelandgirl
Posted

I'm a fairly sensitive person and my feelings would probably have been hurt. That's just me though. It's hard having that left out feeling...maybe with time we get used to it. I'm at almost a year since my diagnosis and I do feel like it's getting easier. You can't change other people though...only your reaction to them.

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chocominties Rookie
chocominties
Posted

By now I'm pretty used to people walking by my desk and saying, "Oh wow, did you try those cookies?  They're amaaaaaazing!"  If we're having a food day I always make sure to bring my lunch, and then consider myself lucky if there's a bag of Tostitos and a cheese or veggie tray.  Folks at work (some of them) do know about my food issues, so they're pretty good about letting me see what I can eat, and letting me touch it first.  One time there was pizza, and no one was even touching the other items because they were all gorging on delicious, delicious pizza.  

 

More Tostitos for me, I guess.

 

But I'm also going on 5 years of dealing with this, and it probably helps that all my gluten issues "started" (were recognized) when I was in a position where I couldn't expect anyone to understand my issues.  I'm not saying "you'll get over it," but you'll start learning who to get pissed off at when they're clueless or insensitive and who not to.  People who aren't close to you are kind of like little kittens who do bad things but "don't know any better."  And the closer people get to you, the more they should know better.    

 

It might still be irritating on some "I wish I could eat that" level.  I still feel that sometimes (a lot of times).    

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BlessedMommy Rising Star
BlessedMommy
Posted

Basically what Karen said. I'd be relieved that they weren't trying to cater to me.

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Kimbalou Enthusiast
Kimbalou
  • Author
Posted

I never expect to be catered to. I guess my point is people are insensitive...especially when they say oh sorry...and I thought of getting some veggies too...honestly it was just odd to see pasta and cake...not very balanced meal. And....yes I know I cannot change people. Just talking about it helps me.

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mamaw Community Regular
mamaw
Posted

My vote goes to insensitive. but if you think about it she was trying to get a response from

you& you gave her nothing! Good for you....I just chalk it up to ignorance! People like this love to make others feel bad ....another good reason to have some tempting gluten-free goodies around.. I always like something Italian that smells like I want to dig into to that!!! and waffles all

through the office.....

It's okay to feel left out once in awhile just don't let the villain see it !!!!!

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RubyRose Rookie
RubyRose
Posted

I don't think I would be bothered by it. It was not a celebration for you.  If it had been a party for you and they hadn't gotten anything you could eat. I could understand that. Some one else said, I don't expect others to cater to me.  I always bring a back up plan of goodies for myself, and if someone thinks of me I am flattered

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RMJ Mentor
RMJ
Posted

I would not be bothered at all that nothing was purchased that I could eat. But to be told that she thought about buying something I could eat and decided against it - that would irritate me!

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Kimbalou Enthusiast
Kimbalou
  • Author
Posted

RMJ...exactly! thats what bothered me the most, was she mentioned she thought about it but didnt buy anything i could eat. ugh

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WinterSong Community Regular
WinterSong
Posted

It's one of those social situations where I might feel like, "Well, this kinda stinks, but whatever. Not the most important thing in the world." Kinda like when my boyfriend's friend has a birthday party and invites me, but knows there is nothing at the restaurant I can eat so I either have water or wine. Kinda sucks, but in the grand scheme of life it's not a big deal. 

 

Most of the time, I do not eat what someone buys me because either it is a company I do not trust or there are CC issues. 

 

And people just don't realize how rude it is to say "I'll eat a piece for you," so I just laugh off that kind of comment 

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cristiana Veteran
cristiana
Posted

I'm a fairly sensitive person and my feelings would probably have been hurt. That's just me though. It's hard having that left out feeling...maybe with time we get used to it. I'm at almost a year since my diagnosis and I do feel like it's getting easier. You can't change other people though...only your reaction to them.

 

 People can be very insensitive.  However, a situation I find almost more difficult is well-meaning people preparing something for me, going to a huge amount of trouble on my behalf, only to discover that what they have cooked/bought still has gluten in it.  I am getting to the stage where I just feel it is easier to always have my own treats/snacks on standby.  A good excuse to carry a bar of chocolate in my handbag!

 

Another way of making people think is baking my own gluten-free cakes/buying them and then 'inflicting' them on other people.  They are always stunned at how good they are and ask for the recipes or where I bought them. 

 

Insensitivity/thoughtlessness... whatever it is... a great saying they have up at our local school on one of the walls is a quote by Kipling and it helps me such a lot with all manner of things these days.

 

“I always prefer to believe the best of everybody; it saves so much trouble”

I think Icelandgirl is right.  We can't change other people... only our reaction to them.  

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BlessedMommy Rising Star
BlessedMommy
Posted

 People can be very insensitive.  However, a situation I find almost more difficult is well-meaning people preparing something for me, going to a huge amount of trouble on my behalf, only to discover that what they have cooked/bought still has gluten in it.  I am getting to the stage where I just feel it is easier to always have my own treats/snacks on standby.  A good excuse to carry a bar of chocolate in my handbag!

 

Yes, that scenario is one of the hardest! 

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Serielda Enthusiast
Serielda
Posted

I honestly would felt a bit left out at first, but get over it and Laugh to myself about being spared from all the junk food. Time to time I still get quirky and feel left out around certain events, but I remind myself I'm better off not participating in the food freak outs. Heck last birthday I had, I was shocked by an awesome and gorgeous gluten-free cake, that most was nervous to try ,but once they did you had to fight thunder dome style almost to get a piece. The reason I say that is often gluten-free foods and snacks can get ignored or left out in people are nervous that it may taste bad out of ignorance that gluten-free doesn't equate terrible. Give it time maybe next party you may get an epic nom nom.

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luvs2eat Collaborator
luvs2eat
Posted

Not only does it not bother me... I prefer it that way. I feel terrible when people try to accommodate me and I don't trust anyone but ME to feed me.

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HappyMom623 Proficient
HappyMom623
Posted

I got over the fact that people don't care about Celiac. My work always has bagels, donuts, cookies..ect.

 

No one ever thinks about me. LOL. Honestly, I'm okay with it because I'm trying to lose weight.

 

I'm sorry she said that though! Kind of sounds like she was being mean.

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seejenrun Newbie
seejenrun
Posted

Yes. What 'luvs2eat' said. I don't trust anyone but me. I always bring my own food everywhere. I would never expect or want anyone to cater to me.

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