Get email alerts Get Celiac.com E-mail Alerts  




Celiac.com Sponsor:
Celiac.com Sponsor:




Ads by Google:






   Get email alerts  Subscribe to FREE Celiac.com email alerts

Problems With Spouse Cause Of Celiac
0

13 posts in this topic

Does anyone else have problems with there spouse because of this disease? Before they found out i had this disease, i had to go to the ER several times because of pain and so forth, when i would leave to go there my husband would laugh and think it was all in my head. Now that they have found i have celiac disease he understands it some better, but still makes comments to me about different issuses like all the money i have to spend on scripts( i have had real problems with my mouth) and the docs and dentist have tried to help me with different scripts. I had to quit my job 7 months ago because it was really stressful and i was having diarrhea all the time and terrible stomach pain, now i dont have any money on my own without asking him to help me out, im depressed but trying to get better, I was just diganosed 3 weeks ago.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites


Ads by Google:

I was very supportive of my husband when he had ulcers and a hernia, so he is returning the love now. I am very fortunate to have such a wonderful husband! I am sorry yours is being such a jerk about it.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

i am too. my hubby is unbelievably supportive. in fact, i don't think i could have gotten through this without him.

has he done any reading on it? you really need to have him understand what this means and how serious it is. have you tried getting him to look at this site?

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm sorry to hear that. I do hope you're talking to him about how you feel, and so forth.

My husband's been very supportive, though he wasn't so sure at first. (I've got lots of things wrong with me - but they're all little. Honestly, I'd think I was a hypochondriac for asking the doc about all sorts of little things wrong with me so often if it wasnt' for the fact that I'm right 80% of the time!) But when my bloodtests were unable to rule it out, and my dietary challenges made it easier to see (even he can hear my intestines the day after I have gluten), he's been good about it. He won't go gluten-free himself, of course, but he's careful about cross-contamination and the like.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I was diagnosed about a month ago...my husband was in shock and went through the 5 stages of grief but he is great about reading lables if there is something he wants to buy but not sure if I can have. If there is stuff in it that I cant have, he wont buy it. I would suggest that he do some reading on it. My husband did and it has helped him better understand the disease.

Best of luck with your husband.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites




One positive note is that after you heal you should be able to go back to work. I was barely able to hold my job before I was diagnosed but now have no problems.

richard

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I do think, after, you stick 100 per cent to eating and drinking gluten free, your diarhea and stomach pains will go away. I'm sure, everyone is different, as to how long it takes, but, my fiance, improved within days and continued. Hang in there and your health will improve.

Now, to address the issue of your husband. If, I may suggest, that you make an appointment with the doctor that diagnosed your Celiac Sprue disease and bring your husband with you. It would be worth the cost of an office visit to have your husband learn from the horses mouth that you have a DISEASE, not, just some allergy. If, it had gone undiagnosed for a long time, it can kill you. My fiance is terminal. All the villi in his intestines are atrophed. He gets very little nourishment from the food he eats. He is dying from malnutrition.Your DISEASE is most serious.

My husband, divorced me one and a half years ago, after 38 years of marriage, because, he wanted to teach me a lesson about money. He earned the money, so, I could only have money from him, if, he liked whatever I was going to use it for. He wouldn't allow me to WORK, but, working at home raising 2 children and all that it entails isn't a REAL job. That isn't a marriage, it's an employee relationship. In a marriage, all funds belong to each partner. If, your husband objects to paying your medical bills, perhaps, he and you would consider counseling.

If, the shoe were on the other foot and he wasn't able to work, but, you could, and was able to support him in sickness, I doubt it very much, if, he would think the funds were being spent frivously.

I see danger signs in what you say and I don't mean any harm. Please, forgive me, if, my comments smart. But, I think your husband has the problem.

My heart goes out to you.

Faith

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Whitelacegal,

My advise is for BOTH of you to cut you some slack. You've been given the gift of an answer to all of your past ailments, and you need to move forward from here. The diarrhea and abd pain that kept you from participating in your job and home life should taper off tremendously the longer you maintain your gluten-free status. Your energy will only increase as your body heals, and your emotional well being will surprise you as your physical well being improves.

Your healing process is a separate issue from your marital issues. You're going to "get better" whether your husband is supportive or not (as long as you don't sabatage yourself). If he can't stick it out until that time, then you two will have some decisions to make down the road. For now, take care of yourself and learn as much as you can about this disease. Make all of the info available to your husband. Hopefully he'll take the initiative to pick it up and educate himself. Only time will tell.

Good luck to you,

nurse diesel

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

thanks to everyone that responded, my husband and i got into a fight last night because he got upset about the way i acted when his friends came past, ( i went into the house when they came cause i did not have a bra on) and he thought i was not social to them, then he told me he wished i would leave which he always says when he gets mad, i need to talk to someone about this cause i just cant stand the way he acts about my medical bills, scripts and so forth. My problems with him did not start when i was diganosed with Celiac they started along time ago. thanks everyone for listening.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Find a marriage counselor. If your husband won't go with you, go without him.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think even for the most supportive and understanding of people, living with a sick partner can be really tough: scary, sad, confusing - they might not understand, or think they do. They might think you're overacting or that you're too dependent. They might be totally inconsistent in behavior. I think it must be very strange to have a relationship where one person can necessarily give less, because of health. I've been married almost two years and spent all last summer very very sick because of celiac disease. I was diagnosed this December. My healing has definitely been slow going, and there are times where my husband is unbelievably great about everything, and there are times where I want to whack him with a gluten-free block of bread. I think this must be normal.

What helps me the most are these 2 things: 1) as cliche as it sounds, communication, communication, communication!! much much easier said than done. what often is needed in a situation like this is a mediator, or a helper. which is 2) I see a therapist to talk it over and sometimes we involve my husband. this helps me remember that it's valid and ought to be dealt with, but it doesn't make me feel like, oh geez, I'm still a newlywed and already into marriage counseling! I think different types of counseling can really have bad raps. don't let a stigma prevent you from progressing in your relationship!

I hope this doesn't all just sound preachy, and actually is helpful. the important thing is YOU, ma'am. recovery is so difficult to begin with, and you need to have good support, not patchy support and antagonism. I wish you the absolute best. -J

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Faith: I found the info on your fiance to be interesting....I have a feeling my celiac husband is at this point. Would you be able to tell me what other symptoms your fiance has or what tests was he given that charts his condition? You may email me. I am very worried about husband at this point. :(

Thank you.

Debbie

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now
0

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      104,096
    • Total Posts
      920,333
  • Topics

  • Posts

    • I've had a range of symptoms in the last 2 months and in the past few weeks I have discovered that my TTG abs (igA) levels were 41 (my igA tests were fine). The doctor said that he is pretty much certain that it is celiac disease and I am awaiting an endoscopy to confirm it.  Before I found out that my TTG abs (igA) levels were high, I noticed that my body was reacting really badly to dairy products. I went on an elimination diet and stopped all gluten and dairy products and felt much better. I carried this on after my results and thought that I must have developed a dairy intolerance due to my celiac. 2 days ago I accidentally consumed a glass of wine which I thought was dairy free but it contained Milk. I have not had any gluten.  I am currently in the middle of a flare up. All of a sudden rashes have started to appear on my hands and my anxiety has returned (usually not a anxious person). No diarhhoea, vomiting or digestive issues. I am currently suffering from muscle twitching, rashes predominantly on hands and feet, brain fog, pins and needles/numbness on hands, feet and arms. However, I have been tested for milk allergy and this came back negative. Is it possible that it is dairy that is causing my symptoms/autoimmune reaction and could this be a reason for elevetated TTG abs (igA) levels. Or has the doctor only picked up my celiac and missing something else. If it was dairy intolerance then I would have digestive issues but I don't seem to have any. Could it be the casein protein?  Anyone been in a similar situation or can anyone provide some insight? 
    • Hello Everyone, This is my first post here and I am writing to seek help from experienced people here. I have been suffering for over 4 years now and still no where close to having a solution/ satisfactory diagnosis of my problem. My problems started in Mar 2012 with sudden diarrhea which would not go away for days. At first, I was given general antibiotics medication which would help bring down the frequency for some days and then it would come back. Since then it has been going on. I am giving a time line and the series of tests and procedures I have gone through. Would like opinion from experienced and experts here. I can send the scans and reports if required. Would really appreciate the help. Male, Indian origin Mar 2012 - onset of symptoms - multiple bouts diarrhea - spaced 3-4 weeks, bloating, weight loss (to start with I was 74 Kgs), GP managed with antibitocs and loperamide for months Dec 2012 - consulted a GI doc towards end of 2012, Colonoscopy done - conclusion was "IBS" - was advised to manage stress. use Rifaximin and immodium Jan 2013 - Aug 2013 kept moderately fine for 3-4 months ..again started getting frequent diarrhea + weight loss (was around 70 Kgs) Oct 2013 - Consulted another doc, MD - stool and blood test - Ecoli and high Eosinophil Count, medication done for 5-6 months, montinored eosinophil from nov - Mar: always kept high.. came down but then again shot up in a month Mar 2014 - Consulted another GI expert - Endoscopy and duodenal biopsy done - H Pylori and Unremarkable Villious pattern, (weight 68 Kgs) - On and Off diarrhea continued. Given: Ivermectin July 2014 - again same doc - Blood test done: High Eosinophil count,  Colonoscopy and Ileum biopsy - preserved villous architecture, features of eosinophilic enteritis; Endoscopy  + duodenal biospy again - numerous H pylori bacteria, Preserved villous crypt ratio, features of eosinophilic enteritis > conclusion: I have eosinophilic enteritis. Started on Prednisolone (steroids) Aug 2014 - 3-4 days of severe diarrhea> weight came down to 65 Kgs. Hospitalised for 3 days - continued on Prednisolonerios Sep 2014 - After 10 days only again a serious bout of diarrhea - hospitalized again - put on IV fluid for 8 days - weight 59 Kgs. Colonoscopy + biopsy done: features of superimposed c. difficile colitis, non-specific mild colitis > c. difficle test came out negative. CT Enterolysis +Scan done: mesenteric lymphadenopathy > nothing wrong acc to docs. IgA deficiency found - diagnosed Celiac - advised for Gluten free diet.   Sep 14 - May 16: continued gluten-free diet, gained weight upto 63 Kg in Jan 16, but then started losing again and came to 59 Kgs in May. No signficant diarrhea. Minor issues. June 16 onwards: Again diarrhea started, still on gluten-free diet, weight lost - 54 Kgs now. hospitalised again under same GI doc - blood test - eosinophil high, CT Enterolysis done: Showing mucosal thickening in Jejunum and Ileum; Enteroscopy (going in jejunum) + jejunal biopsy - jejunal erosions + villous blunting, marked atrophic with V:C ratio of 0.5: 1 to 0:1. HttG blood test done - Came out negative> Conclusion : No gluten exposure (how?) + Refractory Celiac disease. June - July - have been suffering from continuous diarrhea (goes off for 5-6 days and comes back, bloating, trappings in abdomen - waiting for I don't know what. On Rifaximin + Ivermectin + Codeine Sulphate (for diarrhea) I am very depressed and have no clarity on what's going on. If it is celiac, why am I not doing better on gluten-free diet. If the villous damage is still there in small intestine, then why did I kept fine for Sep - May period? HTTG - negative now but was NOT taken in Sep when I was first diagnosed with celiac. Can we trust negative HTTG now and conclude that it has come down? I am 20 kgs down from my ideal weight and still going down. Have no clue what NOT to eat to stop this. Why is eosinophil always high. Can any of you expert help me to put my case to docs in other countries? With lots of hope, Alok          
    • So, I know I'm obsessing but...... University of Chicago Celiac Disease Center website says any total IgA result over 20 won't affect the celiac test.   If this is so,  I'm still confused as to what a weak positive ttg iga means even though her result was barely in this category.  Why bother having a weak positive anyway?   I just don't get it and our doc is on vacation so I won't know what he'll recommend for another week.  I'll be finding out this week if we can see a GI without a referral. Our lyme doc (she's had lyme, may still have it, like I said it's a long story) is having her do an IgG wheat test but I don't think that has any bearing on celiac does it?    
    • Hi!  I've had good luck at the Minnesota state fair because most food booths are only doing one thing so there is no cross-contamination. For example: french fries or chocolate covered bacon or Indian kebabs.   But I live in California and I am heading to the state fair today! Does anybody have any great food suggestions that are definitely gluten-free there? Thanks, Celiac C.
    • Hi.  I have been reading your post and thinking about how my pain was around diagnosis.  It was above the belly button, I think where you are describing.  At the time I assumed I had a stomach ulcer.   I had been taking Neurofen for an ear problem and assumed it was the NSAID that had caused my stomach ulcer (which I actually didn't have, when I had an endoscopy a few weeks later my stomach was looking great! My small intestine was not!).   Going back to the pain, it was a burning feeling.   My doctor prescribed Omeprazole but it didn't touch it.   In fact I ended up with bad D. which eventually lead to me having all the tests for Celiac Disease.   I still get that pain if I eat oats (pure oats) that are supposed to be OK for most Celiacs.     I get various pains in different places in my digestive tract from time to time, but that burning pain is something I won't forget. The other thing I had that you mention was that pain between the shoulder blades.  I had that - I felt almost like someone was pushing my shoulders down.  So odd. I get palpitations when I am anemic.    I hope you get some answers soon.  It is pretty tough having to keep going from one doctor to another, but sometimes it is the only way.   
  • Upcoming Events

  • Blog Entries

  • Recent Status Updates

  • Who's Online (See full list)

  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      61,132
    • Most Online
      1,763

    Newest Member
    Feralgurl
    Joined