Jump to content
This site uses cookies. Continued use is acceptance of our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy. More Info... ×
  • Welcome to Celiac.com!

    You have found your celiac tribe! Join us and ask questions in our forum, share your story, and connect with others.




  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A1):



    Celiac.com Sponsor (A1-M):


  • Get Celiac.com Updates:
    Support Celiac.com!
    eNewsletter
    Donate

A Birthday With No Cake


ElizabethN

Recommended Posts

ElizabethN Apprentice

I'm a little bummed today. It is a tradition in our office to celebrate the birthdays each month with a cake. Which is usually a little hard for me because I happen to sit right by the spot where everyone congregates to eat the cake and socialize, and I feel really left out. Today is especially hard because I am one of the July birthdays so a few weeks ago I brought up the idea that maybe we could do something different- banana splits, so that I could participate in celebrating my birthday. Well, today is the day and they only ordered cake. When I found out no one bothered with the ice cream, I felt like crying. I was really hoping that just this once they could make an exception. So, I am going to go raid the company freezer and find my own ice cream while they all eat cake to celebrate my birthday. I know I am an adult and I shouldn't let things like this bother me, I usually do quite well with it all but every so often there comes an instance like this that is just a real challenge. My lesson learned, I think, is to bring my own next year!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):
Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):



Celiac.com Sponsor (A8-M):



kbtoyssni Contributor

Happy birthday! And sorry you didn't get any cake. Maybe you could talk directly to the person who orders the cake and offer to order banana splits for her or pick it up or something. It's possible she just forgot and since they always do cake, there's no reason to change.

I now treat situations like this as more of a social thing rather than an eating thing. I go to socialize and hang out with people; I don't go assuming I'm going to get a snack/meal. Before I was diagnosed I didn't particularily like the cake, I just ate it because everyone else was and it was the thing to do. Now I'm able to listen to my body and eat something that I truely like when I get hungry.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Guest cassidy

Birthdays without cake are tough!

My family ate a gluten filled cake and I didn't have any cake at all. I was not happy about it. For me, it wasn't about the actual cake, it was about feeling left out. It is hard to feel different, especially when you are one of the ones the celebration is for. I always used to bake for all of them, so it was hurtful that no one made me a dessert I could eat, even ice cream.

Hopefully, this gets easier with time, but my first birthday was tough. I feel for you.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
lonewolf Collaborator

Happy Birthday! I've had many a cakeless birthday too. It's more that people didn't take the little extra time to think about you and your needs more than the lack of cake, right? I'm sorry, I've been there too. At my school (I'm a teacher) we celebrate monthly birthdays too and I'm always presented with a beautiful dessert and then someone will say something like, "Oh, you can't eat that, can you? Well, maybe one of your kids will like it." And then if someone is extra thoughtful, they'll get me an apple or something :huh: . If we lived close I'd bake you a delicious gluten-free chocolate cake - too bad you can't send one via email. Hope the rest of your day goes better!

Link to comment
Share on other sites
floridanative Community Regular
My lesson learned, I think, is to bring my own next year!!

First off - Happy Birthday (belated I guess?). I'm sorry no one thought of making sure you got something safe to eat since it was your b-day month after all. However, I find that unless you work with a bunch of people who have Celiac, this will usually be the case. So what you do (and you may not want to wait until next year) is think of something scrumptious you love - maybe Pamela's choc. chip pan bars/cookies or an ice cream dessert or pan bar with ice cream on top.....well you get the point. Just make sure it looks heavenly even to gluten eaters. Then break it out after lunch or whenever the most people are around the break room. Eat it and act like you're reaching a new height of pleasure and if anyone dares to ask if they can taste it say something like 'seriously....no! And then laugh. You don't have to be rude, you can smile all the while. Just whatever you do don't let anyone taste it. B)

Link to comment
Share on other sites
penguin Community Regular

Happy birthday!!!

Personally, I would go to the store tonight and get the banana split stuff and then say tomorrow, "ok - we're doing my birthday again so that I can actually enjoy it!" That would get the point across! :)

Don't forget to turn in the receipt for reimbursement ;)

Link to comment
Share on other sites
floridanative Community Regular
Happy birthday!!!

Personally, I would go to the store tonight and get the banana split stuff and then say tomorrow, "ok - we're doing my birthday again so that I can actually enjoy it!" That would get the point across! :)

Don't forget to turn in the receipt for reimbursement ;)

I bow to Master Chelsea! :lol:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):
Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):



Celiac.com Sponsor (A8-M):



ElizabethN Apprentice

Thank you all for the support! It really is more about the idea that no one thought of it than the actual cake. And wouldn't you know, that about 5 minutes after I posted that message, a coworker came back from lunch informing me that he had picked up some Blue Bunny chocolate chip for me!! I couldn't believe it! It makes feel horrible about complaining, and so thankful that there was someone who remembered. It is amazing the difference one thoughtful person can make.

Next year, I think I will bake a homemade gluten free cake and share with everyone!

Link to comment
Share on other sites
taz sharratt Enthusiast
Happy birthday!!!

Personally, I would go to the store tonight and get the banana split stuff and then say tomorrow, "ok - we're doing my birthday again so that I can actually enjoy it!" That would get the point across! :)

Don't forget to turn in the receipt for reimbursement ;)

i like this one. happy birthday, so sorry you had no cake it sucks!

Link to comment
Share on other sites
azmom3 Contributor
Thank you all for the support! It really is more about the idea that no one thought of it than the actual cake. And wouldn't you know, that about 5 minutes after I posted that message, a coworker came back from lunch informing me that he had picked up some Blue Bunny chocolate chip for me!! I couldn't believe it! It makes feel horrible about complaining, and so thankful that there was someone who remembered. It is amazing the difference one thoughtful person can make.

Next year, I think I will bake a homemade gluten free cake and share with everyone!

I never even heard about celiac until a few weeks ago when my son's blood test came back positive, so here's some thoughts from a little bit of an outsider...I consider myself a very thoughtful person, but until you've walked in a person's shoes, you don't understand usually. for example, I'm a lot more understanding and know what things to offer to a pregnant person or a mom than I was prior to having kids. Same with any illness, condition, etc. As much as you'd like to do stuff for someone, sometimes you just don't know what to do. IN the same breath though, I know what you mean from being in another situation that was similar to yours...how bad you feel when nobody does what's so important for you (even if it's the simplest thing) and how good you feel when someone does. I would take advantage of the situation and be sure to tell the person who brought you the icecream how much it meant to you and how it's hard feeling left out, that it means so much that they took the time, etc. They will feel just as good as you about doing something good that they just might share that with others or at the very least be sure to do the same thing on the next occasion. :)

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Guest southgoingzax

Sometimes the thoughtfulness and kindness of others can surprise us. I think, that as celiacs, we may have a more negative view of the world (at times anyway) and certainly a lot of us suffer from depression. It's important to try to have faith in the good will of others, whether they remembered to bring you something special or not - I'm sure quite a few of your co-workers wanted to get you something, but were unsure of what you could have. Thanks for posting, this has reminded me of the good and decent actions people are capable of. And YAY! for icecream!

zax

Link to comment
Share on other sites
kathymacn Newbie
I'm a little bummed today. It is a tradition in our office to celebrate the birthdays each month with a cake. Which is usually a little hard for me because I happen to sit right by the spot where everyone congregates to eat the cake and socialize, and I feel really left out. Today is especially hard because I am one of the July birthdays so a few weeks ago I brought up the idea that maybe we could do something different- banana splits, so that I could participate in celebrating my birthday. Well, today is the day and they only ordered cake. When I found out no one bothered with the ice cream, I felt like crying. I was really hoping that just this once they could make an exception. So, I am going to go raid the company freezer and find my own ice cream while they all eat cake to celebrate my birthday. I know I am an adult and I shouldn't let things like this bother me, I usually do quite well with it all but every so often there comes an instance like this that is just a real challenge. My lesson learned, I think, is to bring my own next year!!

They have the same procedure in my office. The last Friday of every month is "birthday time". I simply stopped attending, and don't even go in my birthday month (November). I'd rather stay at my desk, get some work done, and put the whole celebration "out of sight, out of mind".

Link to comment
Share on other sites
tarnalberry Community Regular
I never even heard about celiac until a few weeks ago when my son's blood test came back positive, so here's some thoughts from a little bit of an outsider...I consider myself a very thoughtful person, but until you've walked in a person's shoes, you don't understand usually. for example, I'm a lot more understanding and know what things to offer to a pregnant person or a mom than I was prior to having kids. Same with any illness, condition, etc. As much as you'd like to do stuff for someone, sometimes you just don't know what to do. IN the same breath though, I know what you mean from being in another situation that was similar to yours...how bad you feel when nobody does what's so important for you (even if it's the simplest thing) and how good you feel when someone does. I would take advantage of the situation and be sure to tell the person who brought you the icecream how much it meant to you and how it's hard feeling left out, that it means so much that they took the time, etc. They will feel just as good as you about doing something good that they just might share that with others or at the very least be sure to do the same thing on the next occasion. :)

Best advice ever! Ditto a hundred times!

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Lauren M Explorer
Thank you all for the support! It really is more about the idea that no one thought of it than the actual cake. And wouldn't you know, that about 5 minutes after I posted that message, a coworker came back from lunch informing me that he had picked up some Blue Bunny chocolate chip for me!! I couldn't believe it! It makes feel horrible about complaining, and so thankful that there was someone who remembered. It is amazing the difference one thoughtful person can make.

Next year, I think I will bake a homemade gluten free cake and share with everyone!

Aww, Happy Birthday, Elizabeth! Don't feel bad about venting earlier, I would have been upset, too (I'm very sensitive). You don't have to appologize for your feelings!

At my job, one of my coworkers who is BEYOND sweet made a flourless chocolate cake for me. It was delicious, but I must admit, I was a bit nervous to eat it since I know that baking gluten-free takes a little knowledge as far as cross-contamination, which ingredients are gluten-free, etc.

Well go enjoy your ice cream, and the rest of your day!

- Lauren

Link to comment
Share on other sites
jayhawkmom Enthusiast
Happy birthday!!!

Personally, I would go to the store tonight and get the banana split stuff and then say tomorrow, "ok - we're doing my birthday again so that I can actually enjoy it!" That would get the point across! :)

Don't forget to turn in the receipt for reimbursement ;)

OH, that's a great idea!!!!!

I want to wish you a very happy birthday!!! I know how you are feeling, tomorrow is my birthday - and I'm sure it'll be cakeless. And, I have to admit.... I love cake. =(

Link to comment
Share on other sites
lonewolf Collaborator
tomorrow is my birthday - and I'm sure it'll be cakeless. And, I have to admit.... I love cake. =(

Happy birthday a day early. Can you bake? There are great recipes on this sight for white and chocolate cakes. They were just as easy as gluten filled cakes and VERY tasty. I have served both to company.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
justjane Rookie

My birthday was on Sunday. It was a pretty bad birthday for me too. I just moved to a new state to be a live-in nanny with a family that I had just met on the previous Wednesday. I told them I what I could and could not have and they were feeling very overwhelmed. I told the family a few days before that it was going to be my birthday, and they didn't say happy birthday until I asked the kids, "Do you know what today is?" and then the mom and dad both said, "It's Jane's birthday!"

After that they kind of forgot about me until that night at the bbq they lite a match, shoved into a Reese's peanut butter cup, and sang me happy birthday. It was so cute and really thoughtful. The next day when we got back into town I made my own birthday cake, bought my own candles, and we all sang happy birthday. I just felt bad when I was the only one who would eat my cake (which is soooo good, thanks( Annalise Roberts!).

Good luck - we're here for you.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
ehrin Explorer

My company DID the same thing - birthday cakes and cards every month. I was asked to be on the Employee Action Committee and one of the first things I did was eliminate the birthday cakes. It was actually prior to my diagnosis - but I went around the company and asked how everyone felt about it and they agreed that it's more of a pain in the hiney than anything. So that was that - no more cakes! Now...if I could only get rid of donuts on the last day of each month. Trust me, I tried - I tried to substitute it with fruit - but it didn't go over too well, as I'm sure you can imagine. ;)

You could try the same approach - you might be surprised at how many people truly don't care about a monthly birthday cake!

Link to comment
Share on other sites
tarnalberry Community Regular

I haven't had a cake for my birthday in... about 22 years. I hate cake. Well, I hate most birthday cakes. There are a handful of cakes that don't suck, but mostly, cakes aren't worth it. :-) Give me a big ol' bowl of strawberries instead!

I'm glad someone did get you something, and the idea of bringing a gluten-free cake to share sounds great!

Link to comment
Share on other sites
ElizabethN Apprentice
OH, that's a great idea!!!!!

I want to wish you a very happy birthday!!! I know how you are feeling, tomorrow is my birthday - and I'm sure it'll be cakeless. And, I have to admit.... I love cake. =(

Happy Birthday to you too!! If you have a store nearby that you can grab this at, you should try to find a Gluten Free Pantry Brownie Mix. They are SOOO good and easy to make- with a few candles and some frosting they just might be a suitable cake replacement!

The ice cream tasted great, by the way. It was gone way before the cake. I suspect most people wouldn't mind if we did away with the whole thing- we already have donuts every friday, birthday lunches, the cake- sometimes it just gets to be too much.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
TinkerbellSwt Collaborator

I love Chelseas idea!!! WTG... btw.. Happy Birthday... its really a lousy feeling to be left out. Its not about the eating.. its being left out... I am thinking about banana splits now myself.. hhhmmmmmm..

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

  • Get Celiac.com Updates:
    Support Celiac.com:
    Donate

  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A17):
    Celiac.com Sponsor (A17):





    Celiac.com Sponsors (A17-M):




  • Recent Activity

    1. - Scott Adams replied to Nacina's topic in Related Issues & Disorders
      1

      14 year old with Celiac & EOE still suffering...

    2. - Nacina posted a topic in Related Issues & Disorders
      1

      14 year old with Celiac & EOE still suffering...

    3. - trents replied to Fluka66's topic in Celiac Disease Pre-Diagnosis, Testing & Symptoms
      5

      Waiting for urgent referral.

    4. - Fluka66 replied to Fluka66's topic in Celiac Disease Pre-Diagnosis, Testing & Symptoms
      5

      Waiting for urgent referral.

    5. - Moodiefoodie replied to Moodiefoodie's topic in Related Issues & Disorders
      9

      Joint swelling when ill even on gluten-free diet


  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A19):



  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      121,067
    • Most Online (within 30 mins)
      7,748

    myneckmybackmyceliac
    Newest Member
    myneckmybackmyceliac
    Joined

  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A20):


  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      120.3k
    • Total Posts
      1m

  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A22):





  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A21):



  • Upcoming Events

  • Posts

    • Scott Adams
      It sounds like you've been through a lot with your son's health journey, and it's understandable that you're seeking answers and solutions. Given the complexity of his symptoms and medical history, it might be beneficial to explore a few avenues: Encourage your son to keep a detailed journal of his symptoms, including when they occur, their severity, any triggers or patterns, and how they impact his daily life. This information can be valuable during medical consultations and may help identify correlations or trends. Consider seeking opinions from specialized medical centers or academic hospitals that have multidisciplinary teams specializing in gastrointestinal disorders, especially those related to Celiac disease and Eosinophilic Esophagitis (EOE). These centers often have experts who deal with complex cases and can offer a comprehensive evaluation. Since you've already explored alternative medicine with a nutrition response doctor and a gut detox diet, you may want to consider consulting a functional medicine practitioner. They take a holistic approach to health, looking at underlying causes and imbalances that may contribute to symptoms. Given his low vitamin D levels and other nutritional markers, a thorough nutritional assessment by a registered dietitian or nutritionist specializing in gastrointestinal health could provide insights into any deficiencies or dietary adjustments that might help alleviate symptoms. In addition to routine tests, consider asking about more specialized tests that may not be part of standard screenings. These could include comprehensive stool analyses, food intolerance testing, allergy panels, or advanced imaging studies to assess gut health.
    • Nacina
      Hello, I am a 45 year old mom, who was diagnosed at 29 with Celiac. My now 14 year old son was diagnosed just before his 4th birthday. Needless to say, we are old pros with the diet. He was experiencing some issues, overall health took a major plummet a year ago, and through a bit of work, was diagnosed with EOE. Tried diet alone, but his follow up endoscopy didn't show the improvements his DR. wanted to see, so I tried the medication. (Steroid). He became extremely backed up, and they had him taking Miralax daily. His health plummeted. He is a straight A honor's 8th grader who plays club soccer very competitively. His health continued to decline and at 13 had a colonoscopy and another upper gi. (He was still compacted even with the prep). I finally pulled him off all meds and mira lax, after reading much negative literature online, and put him on a gut detox diet and took him to a nutrition response dr. Finally things have improved. However...over a year later and he is having relapse stomach pain, debilitating stomach pain. Missing a day of school a week, to three this week. This is where we downward spiral with him. He says it doesn't feel the same as when he has gotten backed up before. He is eating prunes, taking his supplements, drinking water...all of the things. Yet, he is feeling horrible. Pain is abdomen, headache, lethargy, diarrhea . He is on a strict gluten dairy, egg free diet. He has adapted well in regards to diet. But I feel like we are missing something here. He is too active, too outgoing to be feeling sick all of the time. His Bilirubin is constantly high. His white blood count always runs slightly low. His vitamin D was very low last time he ran tests, (last month) when he was sick for a week. His celiac markers show negative, so it isn't that. His last endoscopy showed no Eosinaphils in his esophagus.  I have taken him to multiple Ped. Gastro specialists. They run tests, and we get zero answers. I meticulously go through labs, hoping to make some sense and maybe catch something. Any thoughts or ideas would greatly be appreciated. 
    • trents
      But if you have been off of wheat for a period of weeks/months leading up to the testing it will likely turn out to be negative for celiac disease, even if you actually have celiac disease. Given your symptoms when consuming gluten, we certainly understand your reluctance to undergo  the "gluten challenge" before testing but you need to understand that the testing may be a waste of time if you don't. What are you going to do if it is negative for celiac disease? Are you going to go back to merrily eating wheat/barley/rye products while living in pain and destroying your health? You will be in a conundrum. Do I or do I not? And you will likely have a difficult time being consistent with your diet. Celiac disease causes inflammation to the small bowel villous lining when gluten containing grains are consumed. This inflammation produces certain antibodies that can be detected in the blood after they reach a certain level, which takes weeks or months after the onset of the disease. If gluten is stopped or drastically reduced, the inflammation begins to decrease and so do the antibodies. Before long, their low levels are not detectable by testing and the antibody blood tests done for diagnosing celiac disease will be negative. Over time, this inflammation wears down the billions of microscopic, finger-like projections that make up the lining and form the nutrient absorbing layer of the small bowel where all the nutrition in our food is absorbed. As the villi bet worn down, vitamin and mineral deficiencies typically develop because absorption is compromised. An endoscopy with biopsy of the small bowel lining to microscopically examine this damage is usually the second stage of celiac disease diagnosis. However, when people cut out gluten or cut back on it significantly ahead of time before the biopsy is done, the villous lining has already experienced some healing and the microscopic examination may be negative or inconclusive. I'm not trying to tell you what to do I just want you to understand what the consequences of going gluten free ahead of testing are as far as test results go so that you will either not waste your time in having the tests done or will be prepared for negative test results and the impact that will have on your dietary decisions. And, who are these "consultants" you keep talking about and what are their qualifications? You are in the unenviable position that many who joint this forum have found themselves in. Namely, having begun a gluten free diet before getting a proper diagnosis but unwilling to enter into the gluten challenge for valid testing because of the severity of the symptoms it would cause them.
    • Fluka66
      Thank you very much for your reply. I hadn't heard of celiac disease but began to notice a pattern of pain. I've been on the floor more than once with agonising pain but this was always put down to another abdominal problem consequently I've been on a roundabout of backwards and forwards with another consultant for many years. I originally questioned this diagnosis but was assured it was the reason for my pain. Many years later the consultant gave up and I had a new GP. I started to cut out certain food types ,reading packets then really started to cut out wheat and went lactose free. After a month I reintroduced these in one meal and ended screaming in agony the tearing and bloating pain. With this info and a swollen lymph node in my neck I went back to the GP.  I have a referral now . I have also found out that acidic food is causing the terrible pain . My thoughts are this is irritating any ulcers. I'm hoping that after a decade the outlook isn't all bad. My blood test came back with a high marker but I didn't catch what it was. My GP and I have agreed that I won't go back on wheat just for the test due to the pain , my swollen lymph node and blood test results.  Trying to remain calm for the referral and perhaps needed to be more forceful all those years ago but I'm not assertive and consultants can be overwhelming. Many thanks for your reply . Wishing you all the best.
    • Moodiefoodie
      Wow! Fascinating info. Thanks so much! I really appreciate the guidance. @Spacepanther Over the years I have had rheumatologists do full lab work ups on me. They told me they had screened me for arthritis, lupus, and Lyme disease (all negative). In addition to joint pain and stiffness I had swelling in both knees that later moved to my elbow as well.  I also experience stiffness and pain in my neck and shoulders when it flares. I vomited fairly often growing up, but there wasn’t a real pattern to it and I didn’t know it wasn’t normal (thought people caught stomach viruses often).  I don’t usually have stomach symptoms immediately after eating gluten that I notice.  The only other joint condition I know of is fibromyalgia. Good luck! Hope you can get it figured out. I only assumed my joint symptoms were due to the celiac’s because it is under control for the most part on a gluten-free diet.  The rheumatologist also mentioned that some inflammatory/autoimmune diseases can be slow-moving and not detectable until they progress.
×
×
  • Create New...