[Natlay]

For the last few months my family has been bugging me that I need to gain back the weight I lost when I first got sick...and I have been trying so hard. I ate literally four or five jars of peanut butter in the last four days...I've been eating all the time for weeks and I still look like a skeleton. The only thing it has done is make me feel sick constantly. My husband says I should gain weight first then get my stomach back to feeling good but he doesn't understand how bad it feels sometimes. I am at the point where I don't even care how I look...I just want to feel better. I hate the looks that I get a lot of times, but feeling bad just isn't worth it. Is it really that bad to be really skinny?

Thanks for listening (or reading ) ...sometimes it's hard when no one really can understand how you feel. Most people take food for granted without worrying so much about reading every label so it's nice that all of you get it.

[jerseyangel]

I'm sorry that you're having such a hard time. A lot of people really just don't understand--I don't blame you at all, but you must not give up! We are all here behind you

I have never needed to gain weight, but I feel very strongly that you should do what you need to do to heal your system first--then you will be able to absorb the nutrients (including fat) that you need.

Instead of focusing on fattening foods like peanut butter (which is a legume, and can cause problems for those sensitive to them), try and find foods that you can digest--lean meat and chicken (if you eat meat), cooked veggies, eggs, fruits, olive oil, almonds, rice, sweet and white potatoes, winter squashes--I don't know if you do dairy.

Also, try and rotate your foods--get a variety every day. As your intestine heals, hopefully you will begin to put on the weight you need to gain.

This healing does not happen overnight--it would be so much easier if it did I know you're frustrated but I would suggest you take this day by day--meal by meal, even. Try (I know it's not easy!) not to listen to those who tell you to "hurry up and gain weight". You *will* heal--you just need to work with your body--and sometimes with us, that takes time to figure out

[queenofhearts]

I'm so sorry you're having a hard time of it. Battling illness is tough enough without the pressure from loved ones. Even if they think they are trying to help, it doesn't come off that way!

When I was younger I was like you; it seemed I could never eat enough to gain without getting sick. My mom & grandmothers tried stuffing me with one thing after another & it just made me more phobic about food. Now I know it was all related to celiac.

You won't be able to gain until your intestines heal, & they'll take longer to heal if they are constantly under stress. Tell your husband that patience now will result in greater health in the future. Eat wholesome foods that are appetizing to you & your appetite will slowly increase. Stuffing yourself with any one food may set you up for other intolerances.

Hang in there, & keep in touch with us-- I hope we can help you keep your spirits up.

Leah

[Kat-Kat]

You sound like you want to give up but don't do it fight, pray. I droped 30 pound in 2 months. My dr said at first well I needed to lose but not that fast. It is still coming off I think alittle to fast. I had got to the point I just did not want food it just hurt. I did not tell anyone what was going on my Husbadn worries. It can get better there are foods out there that don't hurt when you eat them. There are foods that will keep you from loseing weight to. Hold on. You can do it. Celiac gives me seizures. but I am going to fight.

[Natlay]

Thanks so much for your replies...it always helps to hear from people who understand. I've been eating a lot of peanut butter lately because I saw a magazine at the grocery store with Nicole Richie on the cover. I jokingly said to my husband that at least I don't look like that. He just didn't say anything for a second and then he said "well...you're not far off" I was shocked to hear that and I just get tired of people always trying to get me to eat fatty foods or saying I don't eat enough. I think I was trying to prove that I am trying to gain weight...sometimes it seems like people don't think I want to look better. Most people assume I have an eating disorder and try to stuff me with food. I just have to ignore all that and focus on what I know is right for me.

Thanks so much...this board has been the biggest help for both information on all this and support from people who know what it's like.

[Ursa Major]

You're right to give up on gaining weight at this point. I agree with the others. The first thing you need to do is concentrate on healing your digestive system. When your bowels will function again, and absorb the food properly, you'll start gaining weight without even trying. Patience and persistence is the key here.

Tell your family that their pressure is adding stress to your life, and stress can cause stomach issues all by itself. They need to back off and let you heal in your own time. What are they more concerned about, your health, or being embarrassed about how you look? They should try accepting you no matter what you look like right now. And personally, I don't think it can be that bad.

[Natlay]

Thank you all so much. I have been thinking the same things that you all said about letting my body heal first and worry about gaining weight later but it's hard to focus on that when people judge so much. People my husband works with or at church ask him if I'm ok. And my mom called my sister one night crying because she was worried about me being so thin. My husband seems to think that if I'm not eating fatty foods that I'm not trying to gain weight. I don't want them to sound bad and like they only care about my weight but I think they just don't understand yet but that I need to talk to them and make them understand.

Thank you all for your support. All these food problems make me feel a little crazy sometimes but then you all remind me that I'm not crazy...this is a real problem and my family needs to understand that too.

[queenofhearts]

I think there is sometimes an element of anxiety with those who love us that if they don't DO SOMETHING we will just waste away before their eyes. They feel helpless, & all they know how to do is tell us to eat more. They don't realize how counterproductive it is. Show your husband & mom the thread on Unexpected Positive Results-- they'll see that with patience, astonishing healing can happen.

http://www.glutenfreeforum.com/index.php?s...mp;#entry104646

It just takes patience & careful attention to the diet. But it's a hard adjustment for others as well as ourselves.

Leah

[aikiducky]

You could also explain to your husband that while the intestine isn't fully healed yet, it will be very difficult for your body to absorb fats. So eating fatty food really doesn't help! What would help the most I agree with others is eating easily digested food that you like. It's no good if eating becomes a chore either!

I think your mum is associating your thinness with being ill, and that's why she's so anxious about it. I don't know if you can do anything about that really, hopefully she'll start to notice that you feel better and have more energy and calm down eventually.

As to other people and stupid comments, just tell them "my intestines are full of holes, wanna change places with me?" and then ignore them while they stand and splutter...

Pauliina

[jerseyangel]

aikiducky, on Aug 23 2006, 03:38 PM, said:

As to other people and stupid comments, just tell them "my intestines are full of holes, wanna change places with me?" and then ignore them while they stand and splutter...

Pauliina

Wow--good one, Paulina! I'm gonna remember that

[happygirl]

Natlay-I unfortunately don't have the time at the moment to write all that I want, but wanted to let you know I have been in the same boat ..... and unfortunately am again due to other undiagnosed/unidentified issues. It sucks and it hurts our feelings! I just wanted you to know that there are others who understand....xoxo

[megzmc3611]

Natlay, on Aug 23 2006, 09:26 AM, said:

Thank you all so much. I have been thinking the same things that you all said about letting my body heal first and worry about gaining weight later but it's hard to focus on that when people judge so much. People my husband works with or at church ask him if I'm ok. And my mom called my sister one night crying because she was worried about me being so thin. My husband seems to think that if I'm not eating fatty foods that I'm not trying to gain weight. I don't want them to sound bad and like they only care about my weight but I think they just don't understand yet but that I need to talk to them and make them understand.

Thank you all for your support. All these food problems make me feel a little crazy sometimes but then you all remind me that I'm not crazy...this is a real problem and my family needs to understand that too.

I too was very thin when I got diagnosed. I am 5.4 and I was down to about 97lbs. It took me almost two years to get better...(I had blood tests done every 6 months and each came back showing that I was still getting gluten in my diet somehow!). It took me watching everything I ate and being very careful about cross-contamination to finally, after two years, feel better. I am now about 107lbs. It is amazing what a difference ten pounds makes. Please hang in there. I do not know how long you have been following the gluten-free diet, but it can take months for your body to heal and for you to start absorbing nutrients from food again. If you are still consuming gluten, your body will not heal and you most likely won't gain the weight even if you ate 20 jars of peanut butter in one sitting! I too saw the picture of Nicole Richie and cringed. There are some pictures of me two years ago at my sister's wedding and you can see all the bones in my back!

[debmidge]

A about a week or so ago my husband has to go to Primary Care Dr. & his is on medical leave. The subsitute doctor is new to the practice. He's showing her the lump on the palm of his hand and she reads his blood pressure and weighs him. He mentions his celiac and she says "No wonder you're so skinny!"

He was upset because she said "skinny" and not "thin." He says it was the tone and it was embarassing for her to say it like that. I cringed for him. He's very sensitive and rightly so about his weight. If he was 300 lbs would she have said "You're so fat!"

I read these posts and almost started to cry. I can feel the frustration and god how I understand it for you. I know what my husband goes thru to stay at his very low weight and when he gains it isn't coming back on in even places - only around his waist.

So dont' worry so much about weight - just eat healthy, keep the nutrients in your body as best as you can and if you happen to gain weight back that's good. Don't force feed yourself.

[eKatherine]

If people at church ask if you're ok, your husband should say you've been sick, and you're under a doctor's care for it. How hard is that to understand?