Jump to content

Follow Us:  Twitter Facebook RSS Feed            




   arrowShare this page:
   

   Get email alerts  Subscribe to FREE Celiac.com email alerts

 
Ads by Google:
Celiac.com Sponsor:                                    


Photo
- - - - -

Dealing With Other People's Reactions?


  • Please log in to reply

55 replies to this topic

#16 tarnalberry

 
tarnalberry

    Advanced Community Member

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 9,542 posts
 

Posted 22 July 2004 - 10:11 PM

interestingly, sunflower, I am inclined to disagree with your reactions - rather, I don't have them. I don't mind going to a restaurant where I can't have anything if it'll make my friends happy (Chucky Cheese was one place), and I don't particularly mind telling people "I'm gluten intolerant and can't have wheat." (did that this week at a meeting they provided food for but I was bringing my own).

BUT! I don't think you're wrong for your reactions - I think we're two different people. In the same way that some people don't mind talking about sex with almost anyone, and other people are very reserved about the topic, some people are more comfortable talking about these things than others - and neither way is right or wrong!

That means that you're not in any way wrong to react that way, and for you, it may not be overreacting, but your boyfriend may not ever understand it from your perspective either. You two just might think differently enough that he won't be able to agree with your perspective. If he can respect that you feel that way, however, I don't think the difference is important.

I hope you have better luck with people in the future, though, because it's never fun.
  • 0
Tiffany aka "Have I Mentioned Chocolate Lately?"
Inconclusive Blood Tests, Positive Dietary Results, No Endoscopy
G.F. - September 2003; C.F. - July 2004
Hiker, Yoga Teacher, Engineer, Painter, Be-er of Me
Bellevue, WA

Celiac.com Sponsor:

#17 sunflower

 
sunflower

    Community Member

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 46 posts
 

Posted 23 July 2004 - 12:39 AM

Thanks for all the replies!

It was very interesting to read them all. Jill, my first long post also was all about things that I have been bottling up inside me for most of my life, so I understand you :) It’s good to rant sometimes… maybe not too often but sometimes it helps ;)
It helped me a lot to be able to share with you. Certainly the thought that those people who say such things actually do so out of embarrassment and not knowing how to react is a new one for me – I think the reason why I feel the way I feel about it is that I have always thought that people do mean such things when they say them.
I envy a bit all of you who don’t see it as a problem and are able to laugh it off. It certainly is easier that way. My sister also has celiac, and her approach is like that, but she is a much different person than I am.
celiac3270, I know what you’re going through. I had also problems with other kids who were making fun at my food, especially at the beginning of my education (which was back in early 80s, when there was almost no gluten-free food available on the market, and the home-made gluten-free bread that I used to have for lunch did look and taste very weird…) Luckily, as I proceeded into next levels, it somehow got better, or maybe I was just more lucky with my class-mates as I changed schools? I wish the same to you!

Anna
  • 0

#18 debmidge

 
debmidge

    Advanced Community Member

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 2,566 posts
 

Posted 23 July 2004 - 02:36 AM

Hi All

My husband is celiac and he doesn't use computer so I read the posts to him or print them out and we discussed this topic.
I think the reaction he most gets is that other people think he's making this disease up and/or that it's all in his head...He had been misdiagnosed for 26ish years with IBS, etc. so to people celiac is just another 'story' he's telling (my husband is not known for fibbing, so I don't know where that idea is coming from).
My best friend barely brought herself to understand celiac and she dropped off some corn pasta, but then about a week later gave me a receipe to use it that required the use of another ingredient that he has a sensitivity to which I told her about years ago before celiac.

Sometimes I think people think it's not as serious as we are making it out to be - that a celiac is able to cheat or we are making it up.
Additionally, because my husband is very depressed (was recently correctly diagnosed) he has no motivation to make gluten free foods. If I died he would not take care of himself, I know that to be true. So I make the Gluten free Pantry bread, etc. and make sure he has gluten-free foods in the house. We are married 25 years, so I know how he thinks. Eventually he'll come around and have more interest, I just have to wait it out. This is just a knee jerk depressive reaction on his part . He will shop for the ingredients, but won't make the final product.

However, I cannot speak to my best friend about this, I can't tell her what stress this new way of living is doing to us. (since he's newly diagnosed and following the diet, but is having bouts of sickness still, we haven't been to a restaurant since Oct 03; we didn't even take our annual summer vacation this year because we don't even have living at home down pat, let alone going somewhere else for a week).

My husband has it so severely that the slightest gluten is a trigger; he gets sick when I know he's 100% gluten-free - we don't know what's up with that. I assume that since he's been very sickly and misdiagnosed for over 25 years that we have an uphill battle here.

This celiac diagnosis is like living his IBS/colitis diagnosis all over again. That diagnosis happended when we were engaged and he wanted to break up with me over that. He had lost 30 lbs with the "IBS/colitis" - little did we know that it was really celiac. We were young then and the situation was a nightmare to us. He had to quit working and never got better after that.

What hurts me is that whenever I try to talk about this to this best friend of mine
she turns the conversation/email to say that I am co dependent - that I need some time for myself, yak, yak, yak. She doesn't understand how a severe disease can shake up a person. What does she think I should do? Ignore the sickly person with whom I am living? I understand what co-dependent means, and I interpret it to mean a situation of co-dependency between HEALTHY people without diseases or depression that can't be treated (he is unable to take anti depressants).
My best friend has turned "toxic," and I can't stand to be around her. The last time she said this krap I didnt' speak to her for a few months and then I just let it drop and starting speaking to her again. She started up again on this about a month ago , this is twice since his new diagnosis last October 03.

My other dilemna is that I can't tell my husband why I don't want to see her anymore. It would hurt him to hear this b.s. - he'd never want to talk to her again. There are so many other reasons for staying friends with her, but this is a major stumbling block. So for that reason too I can't stay friends with her. Everything I say always goes back to co dependency. If I tell her that I can't sleep at night because I worry, she goes to co dependency. Her "needle is stuck" on this topic. I think she'd do the same thing as I am doing if she were in my shoes, but I can't give her that statement because she doesn't have a significant other in her life anymore.

Anyway, that's how we deal with other people. We run.


I think what hurts is when people minimalize the situation and that comes from lack of empathy.
  • 0
Husband has Celiac Disease and
Husband misdiagnosed for 27 yrs -
The misdiagnosis was: IBS or colitis
Mis-diagnosed from 1977 to 2003 by various gastros including one of the largest,
most prestigious medical groups in northern NJ which constantly advertises themselves as
being the "best." This GI told him it was "all in his head."
Serious Depressive state ensued
Finally Diagnosed with celiac disease in 2003
Other food sensitivities: almost all fruits, vegetables, spices, eggs, nuts, yeast, fried foods, roughage, soy.
Needs to gain back at least 25 lbs. of the 40 lbs pounds he lost - lost a great amout of body fat and muscle
Developed neuropathy in 2005
Now has lymphadema 2006
It is my opinion that his subsequent disorders could have been avoided had he been diagnosed sooner by any of the dozen or so doctors he saw between 1977 to 2003

#19 sunflower

 
sunflower

    Community Member

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 46 posts
 

Posted 23 July 2004 - 03:35 AM

In my understanding (based on what I ocassionally read in magazines, so I'm no expert) co dependency means a situation when a person is addicted to something that is ruining their lifes (I heard about it in context of alcohol or drugs) and can't/won't do anything about it, while this person's spouse/partner/family are doing everything to support or excuse that person's behavior. This way, co dependence prevents the person who is addicted from actually doing something about this problem themselves. This is how I understand it, correct me if I'm wrong.

I don't know, however, if you can talk about co dependence in context of celiac? There is no way that your husband can "do something about it" and stop being celiac!

I think that your friend either really does not understand how important it is to keep the diet and so she thinks that it's all in your husband's head and you should stop supporting him so that he wakes up... Or maybe she is worried about you and wants to say that you should not be so worried by his illness, because it's affecting your health also... Or maybe she is just not empathic enough. I don't know.

I suppose you know your husband well enough after all those years and if you know from experience that he will eventually recover from the first shock and start taking more interest in keeping the diet himself, then you are doing the right thing.
It is good that your husband has someone who will stand by him.

I have no experience in recovering from a long undiagnosed celiac disease, because I was diagnosed after I was born, but as far as I read on this board, it can take some time to heal if the disease got really bad. Have you checked if he has other possible intolerances that may prevent him from healing (like milk intolerance)?

I hope your husband will eventually get better, and as you both get used to the change, I hope you will find out that it is not really such a dreadful disease, it's something you can live with quite normally, once you learn how to handle it.

Anna
  • 0

#20 Guest_~wAvE WeT sAnD~_*

 
Guest_~wAvE WeT sAnD~_*
  • Guests
 

Posted 23 July 2004 - 08:32 PM

debmidge--

Is your friend married? It seems that she has confused your dedication to loving and caring for your husband [B] in sickness and in health. Now I may be very young and very much unmarried, but I've seen two great examples to draw from--Ronald and Nancy Reagan and my grandparents.

Our nation watched as Nancy relentlessly stood by the President's side, in sickness and in health. Their children even accused them as spending more time with together than with anyone else. She loved him till the bitter end--until he didn't recognize her face, their children's faces, or his own endless list of accomplishments.

I hope to God your friend didn't call her co-dependent.

My grandmother was diagnosed with liver cancer the summer before my senior year of high school. To make a long story very short, at 83 years of age chemo simply wasn't an option. Eventually, she became dejected, irritable, and said to my family members, "I'm not going to make it this time, kids." When she was taken off Insulin and finally slipping away, in a sense, she became (not to sound a little offensive)simply this person whom my grandfather took care of--her spirit was waning. Her "fight" had vanished. Granpa never stopped watching over her or loving her, even when doctors tried to give him her expiration date, because as many patients do, she lived longer than they thought. He has sitting in the adjacent living room of their appartment in their nursing home when he heard her shortness of breath on the baby monitor my cousin brought. He sat with her when she took her last breath on Jan, 4, 2002.

My point is, deb, your should not let your friend upset you. Tell her Celiac's is more real than she can understand at this point. She can always learn or ask you later on, but if she's adamant, ask her to accept your situation and please leave it alone. (with how prevalent celiac disease is, she might even have it herself someday!)

You set an exemplary example for wives everywhere, and I wish your husband all the best in the world--he's very lucky to share his life with someone who accepts his circumstances as well as who he is as a person. May God Bless Him and may he find the hope and courage to keep fighting and stay healthy and happy.

Sincerely,
  • 0

#21 Boojca

 
Boojca

    Advanced Community Member

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 224 posts
 

Posted 24 July 2004 - 03:50 AM

This is a very interesting thread. Co-dependence in a relationship, as far as I have always understood, means that one cannot seem to function without the other. I had a friend in high school who's parents had been high school sweethearts, got married, never movedo out of town, etc... They are wonderful, very caring people. However, if her father had to go out of town on business I am not kidding when I say her mother would literally mope around the house, or lay in bed and sulk and cry, until he was home. I call THAT co-dependent. Me, my husband goes away for a weekend and I have someone take my son and I have a weekend alone...it's like a HUGE vacation. But, that's just me.

I think it's interesting that everyone immediately assumed this friend is not being a friend, bc I see it from a different side. I think it's VERY important for people to take some time to themselves, even if it's just a night out. I love my husband, I love my son, but I also love my friends and I look forward to going to dinner with "just the girls" or spending a Saturday morning just visiting for a couple hours. I just think that's an important part of keeping the "me" in the "we". In fact, my husband tells me I don't do stuff just for "me" enough! So, before you go dumping this "toxic" friend maybe look at it from her side for a second. She may be coming of harsh but maybe she's just trying to keep you from losing yourself. Your husband is very ill, that's obvious, but is it really going to make that big of a difference if you go out for a couple hours by yourself, or with a friend or two? I doubt it. It sounds to me like your friend is trying to help that side of your life. As for the food she's given you, it also sounds to me that she is trying to help. I think it's easy for all of us with celiac disease to forget that it's our diet, and we do all sorts of research, etc...so we know what is ok and is not, and we live with it every day. Those without it can do research, etc... and "know" what is or isn't ok, but they forget. Or they don't realize that something that may appear "fine" has a hidden gluten. Think of some of the mistakes you made first starting out on this diet. It's the same thing for them. For instance, my husband's best friend adores our son. I mean, absolutely adores him. And what did he do when we stopped by last night unexpectedly? Offered our son a piece of pizza. He didn't do it bc he doesn't care, or doesn't even try to "get it". He simply wasn't thinking.

So, that's my two cents. I could be wrong, maybe your friend is a toxic witch who should be dumped. But I thought it was important to maybe post this perspective.

Bridget
Georgia, VT
  • 0

#22 debmidge

 
debmidge

    Advanced Community Member

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 2,566 posts
 

Posted 24 July 2004 - 05:02 AM

Hi all :)

I do go out with friends and family. B) Most of the time it's without my husband and he's fine with that. For crying out loud, she and I go out together (dinner, movies, etc.) - she knows I want and like to do that! Just lately I haven't had the time to do it.
The last time my friend commented on the co dependency thing was when I mentioned that due to stress I was taking mild sleeping pills to help me sleep thru the night. Not only was I having stress at home, but extreme stress at work too. .P.S. she's been divorced 10 years now.

I do agree with the Ron & Nancy Reagan relationship. I have been married to my husband for 25 years. :)

I am also looking at my situation from the viewpoint that as the partner in this marriage, I ask : what can I do to help improve my partner's lot in life? Because what helps him, helps our marriage. For instance, if I am there to check out sources of gluten and help him maintain a gluten-free diet, perhaps he'll get well enough so that we can go on vacation again next year. I love to take vacation with him (I've taken vacation without him, so I don't know how my friend thinks I am what she thinks I am). When I am not with him, I miss him. I want to experience everything with him. Isn't that what marriage entails? And also, what helps him, helps me in the long run. I am a being a bit selfish here, I'll admit: If he's feeling better maybe we can take vacation next year. Gee, a healthy husband - I'm gonna get me one if I have to move heaven and earth! And I want it to be HIM! :P So to her, this is co dependency.

She urges me to read the "CoDependency No More" book she gave me. I tried and feel that the book is a farce. In many instances it describes normality as co dependency. The book calls everyone who lives a co dependent and I believe that it's not by accident. The author wants to make money off the theory, so the best way to do that is to include all types of relationships and situations. According to the author, Melody Beattie, the definition of co dependency is "A co dependent person is one who has let another person's behavior affect him or her, and who is obsessed with controlling that person's behavior." So using that definition, non celiac family members are co dependent when they care for a newly diagnosed celiac? <_< His behavior isn't affecting me, the celiac disease is. Disease isn't behavior. His reaction to having celiac is a problem as he isn't coping with it well yet. Can anyone blame him? The gluten free diet is difficult at first. Also he has been ill for many, many years and has to learn a new diet - a new way of living. BUT, he has to do this in his own time and on his own terms. I am not so disillusioned that I feel I can do it for him. That would make me co dependent, nes pas? Let me throw this out: what if he had cancer instead of celiac, would his reaction/behavior be Ok then? Are there Ok diseases to be depressed about and non-OK diseases? Who decides that?

Believe me, when he goes to visit his mom (he does some of her housework as she's 83 yrs old), I don't miss him for the several hours he is away. I then have the apt to myself (which I love) and I keep busy. If he was gone over night, I'd have trouble sleeping but I wouldn't cry or mope. Maybe I'd be anxious after a few days if he were away. When I go away (vacations or visit family) he misses me. Several years ago, I went to another state with my family for a vacation for over a week. While I was there I purchased a night light for my room during the vacation stay. When I got back, was I unpacking and he saw the night light and then took out a night light HE purchased for our bedroom while I was away! :lol:

In my friend's defense, I have to point out that she went thru a co dependent marriage. She had a abusive husband who beat her and promised her he'd kill her -- when she was 8 mos pregnant. She made excuses for his nasty behavior. He finally went after her with a gun, but never used it. She then planned her escape with the help of her kind neighbors who knew what was going on. That's why I have compassion for her and try to understand that she means well.....but she still looks at the world thru that horrible situation. I've tried my best to explain my world to her and how it contrasts from what she's been thru (we've known each other since we were 14! and we're 47 now!) . I feel that I am my husband's "anchor" until his health improves and we can breath a sigh of relief when he is feeling better, etc. Until then I am not going to stop : worrying about him, helping him, cooking for him, etc. Before celiac, when he was diagnosed with IBS, he took care of himself very well. He makes his own dinner every night now. He plans his own menus for the week. He does his own gluten-free shopping (except for bread flours). I make his bread however because he doesn't want to get involved in that. He didnt' bake bread BEFORE he was diagnosed with celiac. Frankly, I really don't know what my friend expects me to do. Maybe next time she rags on co dependency I'll ask her to tell me what she'd do in my shoes.

Everyone take care and thanks for just being there.

Also, husband is going to get food sensitivity blood testing. Or, if he's co dependent too would he need "food sensitivity training" instead? There's a thought!

Just Debbie :)
  • 0
Husband has Celiac Disease and
Husband misdiagnosed for 27 yrs -
The misdiagnosis was: IBS or colitis
Mis-diagnosed from 1977 to 2003 by various gastros including one of the largest,
most prestigious medical groups in northern NJ which constantly advertises themselves as
being the "best." This GI told him it was "all in his head."
Serious Depressive state ensued
Finally Diagnosed with celiac disease in 2003
Other food sensitivities: almost all fruits, vegetables, spices, eggs, nuts, yeast, fried foods, roughage, soy.
Needs to gain back at least 25 lbs. of the 40 lbs pounds he lost - lost a great amout of body fat and muscle
Developed neuropathy in 2005
Now has lymphadema 2006
It is my opinion that his subsequent disorders could have been avoided had he been diagnosed sooner by any of the dozen or so doctors he saw between 1977 to 2003

#23 rattaway

 
rattaway

    Community Member

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 56 posts
 

Posted 24 July 2004 - 09:44 AM

Hi Just Debbie, Hope my Email didn't tick you off. :) I just know how I would feel if I were the only gluten-free person in my house and everyone else went out to movies, restaurants ect. and left me behind. My gluten-free husband and I went to the movies last night. He ate reeses peanut butter cups and had a sprite. I am also gluten-free as you know and ate a pickle and drank a Dr. pepper. We celiacs still are able to function outside of the home and enjoy a normal lifestyle. I enjoy being a celiac for several reasons. One, it helps keep the weight off ( can't just go buy anything at the store), two, I get to help other people who have symptoms and have seen tons of doctors who keep taking their money and offering no real diagnosis, so I can help point them in the direction to healing. And last, I have really learned how to be creative with meals, Bdays, and parties in general. I have non celiac friends trying to make things that I make now instead of vice versa. I only went off a bit in my Email because I come from a long line of selfish women :angry: who put themselves ahead of their husbands and children. I refuse to be one of them and anything I can do to help my husbands health, even if it means no vacation for a while til he can go, then so be it. In the end, I think I would rather reflect on moments with him anyway rather than a few nick nacks from somewhere,USA. :wub:
Sincerely, Rian
  • 0

#24 dana_g

 
dana_g

    Advanced Community Member

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 121 posts
 

Posted 24 July 2004 - 04:44 PM

Anna--My grandparents are from Eastern Europe, and I really miss pierogis! I won't even attempt a gluten-free version. Some things just don't translate very well.
And I also have a daughter named Anna. She's 11, and has celiac disease, too. I've had to keep a very positive attitude toward my disease for her sake. I also have food allergies, and frequently break out in hives and have other problems because of it. I know what it's like to be severly limited as far as your social life is concerned. Not a lot of choices in the restaurant department! Actually, I, too, think your boyfriend's co-worker hit it in the head--it sucks having all these restrictions! But I agree that it's not a very compassionate attitude, kind of like laughing at a diabetic. But I don't think people are as mean-spirited as they often sound, just ignorant. I have accepted that my dietary restrictions are extreme, and it is really asking a lot for me to expect my friends and family, who are not capable of relearning old habits easily, to accomodate me. Let alone people who barely know me. More logical that I should overlook their shortcomings. Seems unfair, but life is not fair. Having celiac disease has made me a better person. I'm more tolerant myself now. The world hasn't changed just because my life has changed so dramatically. Your friend who always eats the ice cream when she's with you? If you look back at your relationship, you can probably find other evidence of her self-centered behavior that has nothing to do with your celiac disease. I'm sure she's a wonderful friend, maybe a little clueless. Everyone is flawed in some way. None of us are perfect, not even those of us with celiac disease! :)
I've found that it helps to take it a day at a time. Just for today, I'll figure out how I'm going to eat lunch with my friends. Just for today, I'll find a place to meet my girlfriends where I won't be drooling over the pastries. I try not to look at this as a "life sentance", but a "life style". And if I find just one person who understands what I'm going through and can meet me halfway, I consider myself very, very blessed indeed.
And if that doesn't work, remember the old saying that God must love idiots because He made so many!
Take care--
Dana, Gloriously gluten-free
  • 0
Gloriously gluten-free--Dana

#25 Niteyx13

 
Niteyx13

    Advanced Community Member

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 98 posts
 

Posted 24 July 2004 - 08:00 PM

Co-dependency has a lot more other things to do with it than just feeling like you "can't live without someone". It is a very messed up psychological way of thinking that is caused from a disfunctional family life in your childhood (and was first found in families of alcoholics). I know this because I have been going through recovery for co-dependency for the past year. It bugs me when people start throwing the "co-dependant" label at someone who loves, and is loyal to someone else. Often times it seems that the one pointing the co-dependant finger is probably the co-dependent one. Because one of the major traits of a co-dependant is the want to control others (although, often unconciously).
Anyway, I am sorry to get on a tangent in here about this. After all, this is not a co-dependency forum. But, I thought I would throw in my thoughts, since I am someone who struggles with it myself.
I would say that if a friend who seems to be a close friend but gives you so much trouble maybe needs to remain a friend, but maybe not such a close one. :)
Just my two cents again...

Deanna
  • 0

#26 dana_g

 
dana_g

    Advanced Community Member

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 121 posts
 

Posted 25 July 2004 - 03:31 PM

Deanna, I like your "two cents", and I think it's great that we're discussing co-dependency here. Being dx'd with celiac disease is a huge emotional upheaval for a lot of us; likewise the years leading up to it have often been an emotional roller coaster. I know my illness affected my marriage and my relationship with my children. I think it's fantastic to be able to talk to one another like this--I don't have any other group of people in my life who can relate so well to the feelings I have regarding celiac disease. I am really getting a lot out of this discussion, and I thank everyone for sharing :) .
  • 0
Gloriously gluten-free--Dana

#27 Niteyx13

 
Niteyx13

    Advanced Community Member

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 98 posts
 

Posted 25 July 2004 - 05:16 PM

Thank you Dana. I just don't want to appear like a know-it-all. I only know a lot about a lot of stuff, because I am a walking issue... lol...

But, seriously, I like to help other people, and this board has helped me soooo much that I just want to give back. So, when I saw "co-dependency" I kinda got excited. Thank you all for being here. :lol:

Deanna
  • 0

#28 doglover

 
doglover

    New Community Member

  • Members
  • Pip
  • 4 posts
 

Posted 27 July 2004 - 10:42 AM

thanks, zippyten.
that's exactly what i was thinking, too.
people's reactions to your problems (gluten-free or anthing else in life) can really show their true colors.

the bad thing about celiac is that i think most people have never heard of it. sometimes i feel like people feel like i'm making it up! i learned something recently from a friend with a small child. she said that if she doesn't act too shocked/upset about little things that happen (spilled milk for example), her son is so much less upset about little stuff. i apply this more in my own life now and it helps. if i act like the celiac is no big deal, just another small annoying thing i have to deal with and laugh about it, others don't make such a fuss either.
  • 0

#29 celiac3270

 
celiac3270

    Advanced Community Member

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 3,263 posts
 

Posted 02 August 2004 - 03:39 PM

I agree on all fronts. I am a very sensitive person who had to learn to desensitize very quickly when I went to college. Usually a with a comment like that, had I been feeling the way I felt before March, I would have carefully told the person, "It can suck, but it's all about your point of view. Either you give up when you find out you're diagnosed, or you persevere, trying to find the best tasting and healthiest food out there. I understand it's hard to imagine, but please respect my situation in the same manner I respect yours." Look at this way: Celiacs aren't a cult who think anyone who eats gluten doesn't fit in or is a monster.

Very true..........that's actually a very good way to put it --- I'll have to remember that one :D .

debmidge--

Is your friend married? It seems that she has confused your dedication to loving and caring for your husband [B] in sickness and in health. Now I may be very young and very much unmarried, but I've seen two great examples to draw from--Ronald and Nancy Reagan and my grandparents.

Our nation watched as Nancy relentlessly stood by the President's side, in sickness and in health. Their children even accused them as spending more time with together than with anyone else. She loved him till the bitter end--until he didn't recognize her face, their children's faces, or his own endless list of accomplishments.

I hope to God your friend didn't call her co-dependent.

A powerful and very true statement....well put, once again :)
  • 0

#30 Guest_~wAvE WeT sAnD~_*

 
Guest_~wAvE WeT sAnD~_*
  • Guests
 

Posted 02 August 2004 - 08:03 PM

Thank you--sometimes my Philosophical persona kicks in, and I was amazed at what Debbie's friend had said (I almost cried), yet proud of her.

:) :) :)

gluten-free people unite!!!
  • 0




0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users

Celiac.com Sponsors: