The Poopie List

#1 Guest_nini_*

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Posted 04 September 2006 - 03:00 PM

The Poopie List* GHOST POOPIE: The kind where you feel the poopie come out, but there is no poopie in the toilet.

CLEAN POOPIE: The kind where you poopie it out, see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the toilet paper.

WET POOPIE: The kind where you wipe your butt 50 times and it still feels unwiped, so you have to put some toilet paper between your butt and your underwear so you won't ruin them with stains.

SECOND WAVE POOPIE: This happens when you're done poopie-ing and you've pulled your pants up to your knees, and you realize that you have to poopie some more.

POP-A VEIN-IN-YOUR-FOREHEAD POOPIE: The kind where you strain so much to get it out, you practically have a stroke.

LINCOLN LOG POOPIE: The kind of poopie that is so huge you're afraid to flush without first breaking it into little pieces with the toilet brush.

GASSY POOPIE: It's so noisy, that everyone within earshot is giggling.

DRINKER'S POOPIE: The kind of poopie you have the morning after a long night of drinking. It's most noticeable trait is the skid marks on the bottom of the toilet.

CORN POOPIE: Self explanatory.

GEE-I-WISH-I-COULD-POOPIE POOPIE: The kind where you want to poopie but all you do is sit on the toilet and fart a few times.

SPINAL TAP POOPIE: That's where it hurts so badly coming out, you'd swear it was leaving you sideways.

WET CHEEKS POOPIE (The Power Dump): The kind that comes out so fast, your butt cheeks get splashed with water.

THE DANGLING POOPIE: This poopie refuses to drop in the toilet even though you are done poopie-ing it. You just hope that a shake or two will cut it loose.

THE SURPRISE POOPIE: You're not even at the toilet because you are sure you are about to fart, but *oops* --- a poopie!

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#2 Fiddle-Faddle

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Posted 04 September 2006 - 03:16 PM

#3 2kids4me

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Posted 04 September 2006 - 03:22 PM

and for the older ladies in the group who have ....bladder issues... ( I am 45 in few weeks so am familiar with it....)

sneak pee - you end up with wet spot in underwear
sneezy pee - you end up with bigger wet spot.
cough pee - same as sneezy pee
laughing out loud pee - usually stops the laugh in its track as it causes same effect as cough and sneezy pee

All of the above will cause abrubt exit to washroom to empty bladder -then you can cough, sneeze and laugh without a problem.
Have learned to void prior to any comedy and take pre-emptive measures when I have cold - never let the baldder get full girls!

Sandy

Type 1 diabetes - 1986
hypothyroid -1993
pernicious anemia
premature atrial beats
neuropathy
retinopathy
daughter is: age 15
central hypotonia and developmental delay
balance issues (rides an adult 3 wheel bike)
hypothyroid 1996
dermatographia - a form of angioedema 2002
celiac 2004 - by endoscopy
diagnosed Aspergers at age 7 - responded very well (HUGE difference) to gluten-free diet
recovered from Kawasaki (2003)
lactose intolerant - figured out in Oct/06
Gilberts syndrome (April/07)
allergy to stinging insects
scoliosis Jan 2008
nightshade intolerance - figured out April 2008
allergy to Sulfa antibiotics
son is 13
type 1 diabetic - 2003 diagnosed on his 9th birthday
celiac - 2004 by endoscopy
lactose intolerant - figured out Nov/06

#4 jerseyangel

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Posted 04 September 2006 - 03:25 PM

and for the older ladies in the group who have ....bladder issues... ( I am 45 in few weeks so am familiar with it....)

sneak pee - you end up with wet spot in underwear
sneezy pee - you end up with bigger wet spot.
cough pee - same as sneezy pee
laughing out loud pee - usually stops the laugh in its track as it causes same effect as cough and sneezy pee
All of the above will cause abrubt exit to washroom to empty bladder -then you can cough, sneeze and laugh without a problem.
Have learned to void prior to any comedy and take pre-emptive measures when I have cold - never let the baldder get full girls!

So true, so, so, true

Patti

"Life is what happens while you're busy making other plans"

"When people show you who they are, believe them"--Maya Angelou

"Bloom where you are planted"--Bev

#5 Guest_nini_*

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Posted 04 September 2006 - 03:44 PM

I figured if ANYONE could appreciate good "poopie" humor it would be a bunch of celiacs!

#6 CarlaB

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Posted 04 September 2006 - 03:50 PM

I figured if ANYONE could appreciate good "poopie" humor it would be a bunch of celiacs!

Or a group of young teenage boys :blink:

gluten-free 12/05

diagnosed with Lyme Disease 12/06

#7 kalanfan

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Posted 04 September 2006 - 04:10 PM

second wave poopie really speaks to me...lol and the spinal tap poopie......along with the wet cheeks poopie......thats awesome nothing like good potty humour

#8 plantime

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Posted 04 September 2006 - 04:40 PM

I'm going to copy this and email it to my husband! He will love it!!

PS: the warning about the peepee should have come first, I almost wet myself laughing!

:lol:

Dessa

The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make His face shine upon you and be gracious to you." Numbers 6:24-25

#9 jams

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Posted 04 September 2006 - 05:31 PM

OMG!! I think I just did a laughing pee!!! I don't usually laugh out loud, but my husband is in the other room laughing at me because I was laughing so hard!! Leave it to us Celiacs to find it so funny!!!

Angi
Milw/Madison, Wisconsin
Diagnosed 12-2003 positive biopsy confirmed w/bloodwork
gluten-free from 5-2004

#10 Lisa

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Posted 04 September 2006 - 05:46 PM

Oh my gosh :lol:

don't know whether to laugh or cry.........

I'm the wet poopie and have been know to mistake a big fat fart ( or even the small silent ones ) for a.........need to get to the bathroom in 4.0 seconds and got there in 4.5..........ooops. I lost alot of really nice jeans in total discussed.

don't thing I'll sign my name on this one. :ph34r:

Lisa

Gluten Free - August 15, 2004

"Not all who wander are lost" - JRR Tolkien

#11 Carriefaith

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Posted 04 September 2006 - 06:27 PM

LOL, That is so funny!

Carrie Faith

Diagnosed with Celiac Disease in March 2004
Postitive tTg Blood Test, December 2003
Positive Biopsy, March 3, 2004

#12 Guest_~jules~_*

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Posted 04 September 2006 - 06:37 PM

OMG!!!!

Theres a friggin poop list now! lmao!

#13 flagbabyds

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Posted 04 September 2006 - 06:44 PM

this is hilarious! OMG wow!

Molly

#14 Lymetoo

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Posted 04 September 2006 - 07:00 PM

I liked the Ghost Poopie the best. One of those where you think...."What happened to it??"

Second wave happens to me alot....=guess I'm always in too big a hurry to stay put for long!!

Negative biopsy for celiac 1980
Fibromyalgia 1980
IBS 1980
Interstitial Cystitis 1992
Systemic yeast
Diagnosed w/ Chronic Lyme Disease 2000
Diagnosed w/ Chronic babesia 2000
Tachycardia 2001
Asthma 2005
Have had Lyme and babesia for
about 48 yrs.

Began gluten-free July 19 '06
Native TEXAN living in Missouri

#15 tiredofdoctors!!!

Will NOT let this disease diminish me!!

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Posted 06 September 2006 - 04:56 AM

That is bust-a-gut funny!!!!! :lol:

Lynne

Courage does not always roar. Sometimes it is the quiet voice at the end of the day that says, "I'll try tomorrow".

"There's not a word yet, for old friends we've just met. Part Heaven, part space, or have I found my place? You can just visit, but I plan to stay, I'm going to go back there some day." Gonzo, in the Muppet Movie

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