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The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

TriticusToxicum

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CarlaB Enthusiast
CarlaB
Posted
Have you seen Open Original Shared Link (Sorry, don't know how to make it say "this")

Here's the monkey, now you don't have to go back for a good laugh.

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DingoGirl Enthusiast
DingoGirl
Posted

okay.............I have decided two things..............

1. I got a LOT more projects and creative things accomplished before I had a computer in my house (what's it been, 7 years?).... and

2. YouTube is an evil, time-sucking, vortex :huh::lol:

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Mtndog Collaborator
Mtndog
Posted
:lol::lol::lol: I did see that comment, and yes, also hate when forwards say that.....and stuff like......forward it to 5 and this will happen and forward it to 10 and this will happen and then forward it to 15 and something amazing will happen at midnight.....um, these are conjured up by pre-teen girls and then they go 'round adn 'round...... :huh:

I am in a funk today, nothing funny to post but this is for you, Bev. ;)

Open Original Shared Link

okay.....did I do it right? :rolleyes:

nope......harrumph........I guess I am NEVER going to get this......but will practice

Aww...who gives a poop! Susie- I LOVE Nick Drake. Our weding song was Open Original Shared Link

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DingoGirl Enthusiast
DingoGirl
Posted

He Bev.....I knew you loved Nick Drake, as do I, so posted him here for you. :) I have all of his celiac disease's - there were only officially three. he died too young. :(

here an informative and fabulous article for those of us who anthropomorphize our dogs (and I am the guiltiest one :ph34r: ):

Open Original Shared Link

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DingoGirl Enthusiast
DingoGirl
Posted

oh my GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD I DID IT!!! :rolleyes: thanks Bev!! hey, the FIRST time I tried, I am such a dufus, I clicked on the wrong plus-sign box......... :huh: but now I just feel really clever and techno-savvy!!!! ;)

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Mtndog Collaborator
Mtndog
Posted

You did it! And that was a great article!

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TriticusToxicum Explorer
TriticusToxicum
  • Author
Posted
oh my GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD I DID IT!!! :rolleyes: thanks Bev!! hey, the FIRST time I tried, I am such a dufus, I clicked on the wrong plus-sign box......... :huh: but now I just feel really clever and techno-savvy!!!! ;)

Is this not one of the signs of the impending apocalypse? :huh:

What's next ? the crockpot? ;):P

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Mtndog Collaborator
Mtndog
Posted

1. cannot get PaxilBack out of my head

2. YouTube is an evil time sucking vortex

And Pharmacist Phun:

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl tells him that after dinner, she would like to have sex with him for the first time. The boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacy to get some condoms. The pharmacist helps the boy for about half an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex. At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy a 3-pack, 10-pack or family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all. That night, the boy shows up at the girls parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents! Come on in!" The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head. A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down 10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy. Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, "I had no idea you were this religious." The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was a pharmacist!"

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TriticusToxicum
  • Author
Posted
1. cannot get PaxilBack out of my head

2. YouTube is an evil time sucking vortex

And Pharmacist Phun:

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl tells him that after dinner, she would like to have sex with him for the first time. The boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacy to get some condoms. The pharmacist helps the boy for about half an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex. At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy a 3-pack, 10-pack or family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all. That night, the boy shows up at the girls parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents! Come on in!" The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head. A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down 10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy. Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, "I had no idea you were this religious." The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was a pharmacist!"

This is one of my all-time favorites. Believe it or not my grandfather (rest his jovial soul) shared this with me back in my impressionable years :o ...explains a lot I guess! :)

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TriticusToxicum
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Posted

Susie,

What exactly does Stinker need help with? She's not still learning to type is she? I know for a while she was quite a frequent poster here :P

Alas I must run and be responsible...ho-hum

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DingoGirl Enthusiast
DingoGirl
Posted
Is this not one of the signs of the impending apocalypse? :huh:

What's next ? the crockpot? ;):P

gaaaaaaaaaaaaahh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :lol: HI CRAZY!!! we've missed you adn we hate your job. :P Um, the crockpot and I are not friends, it was used once, I did not like the chicken, and so it got put in the closet - - harrumph - - - :angry: (please note that I am sure this was a case of operator error, but also note, whenever given the chance, always blame your equipment ;) )

1. cannot get PaxilBack out of my head

2. YouTube is an evil time sucking vortex

:lol::lol::lol:

and OMG, does Richard now have a Citroen in his avatar? there is somethign crazy about Citroens - - - - almost eveyr time I see one (hardly ever) I almost always see a second on in that same day - - - :ph34r::ph34r::o It's the great Citroen Mystery...........

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DingoGirl Enthusiast
DingoGirl
Posted
Susie,

What exactly does Stinker need help with? She's not still learning to type is she? I know for a while she was quite a frequent poster here :P

Alas I must run and be responsible...ho-hum

oh, the Richard sightings, SO fleeting...... :huh:

Um, thank you for asking, Stinker needs help with eating all of my sod. :angry: er, NOT eating it, rather. You can see my thread of a couple of days ago, in the gab/chat section. Perhaps I should change the photo, since evidently there IS no help for the craving of fresh sod. :huh: I think I"ll just do what seems best and fashionable at this point, adn check her into rehab. ;):lol:

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jerseyangel Proficient
jerseyangel
Posted

Ain't it the Truth!!!

A woman goes to the doctor for her yearly physical.

The nurse starts with certain basic items.

"How much do you weigh?" she asks.

"115," she says.

The nurse puts her on the scale.

It turns out her weight is 140.

The nurse asks, "Your height?"

"5 foot 8," she says.

The nurse checks and sees that she only measures 5' 5"

She then takes her blood pressure

And tells the woman it is very high.

"Of course it's high!" she screams,

"When I came in here I was tall and slender!

Now I'm short and fat!"

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TriticusToxicum Explorer
TriticusToxicum
  • Author
Posted
oh, the Richard sightings, SO fleeting...... :huh:

Um, thank you for asking, Stinker needs help with eating all of my sod. :angry: er, NOT eating it, rather. You can see my thread of a couple of days ago, in the gab/chat section. Perhaps I should change the photo, since evidently there IS no help for the craving of fresh sod. :huh: I think I"ll just do what seems best and fashionable at this point, adn check her into rehab. ;):lol:

Just say "NO" (to TrimSpa :ph34r: )

Most definitely NOT a Open Original Shared Link! They are nice cars, but they are not <a href="Open Original Shared Link Advertisement/saab-93/" target="external ugc nofollow">Saabs</a>!

The Avatar is the very first Saab - model 92. A thing of beauty :rolleyes: . It's drag coefficient rivals the best of today's modern designs... My Dad had 4 Saabs and is presently looking for one to restore...(a 1950's 93 if anyone out there has one :) )

I ordered this from Open Original Shared Link. That's right I ordered a model that is the size of my thumb from a place in Sweden. Do i have a problem? (Only if the car gets glued to my finger :P ) You don't understand how happy I was to find it. It has been on back order since around Thanksgiving. I finally got an email that they are set to re-start production and hope to ship sometime in the next 2 months! (OK, I'm a dork- but you knew that :P ) I plan to assemble it and "pimp" it to look just like my dad's 1967 model 96. I'm going to give it to him for his b-day - he has a model train set up and it will fit right in. (OK, so I'm a super-dork)

Where do you live that you can see more than one Citroen :huh::blink: You're not eating the sod, are you? :o

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TriticusToxicum
  • Author
Posted
Ain't it the Truth!!!

A woman goes to the doctor for her yearly physical.

The nurse starts with certain basic items.

"How much do you weigh?" she asks.

"115," she says.

The nurse puts her on the scale.

It turns out her weight is 140.

The nurse asks, "Your height?"

"5 foot 8," she says.

The nurse checks and sees that she only measures 5' 5"

She then takes her blood pressure

And tells the woman it is very high.

"Of course it's high!" she screams,

"When I came in here I was tall and slender!

Now I'm short and fat!"

:lol:

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jerseyangel Proficient
jerseyangel
Posted

One day, a husband came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very sexy nightie. Tie me up," she purred, "and you can do anything you want." So he tied her up and went fishing.

~~~~~~

Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is a husband.

~~~~~~

A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license. First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test. The optician showed him a card with the letters:

'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.'

"Can you read this?" the optician asked. "Read it?" the Polish guy replied, "I know the guy."

~~~~~~

Mother Superior called all the nuns together and said to them, "I must tell you all something. We have a case of gonorrhea in the convent."

"Thank God," said an elderly nun at the back. "I'm so tired of chardonnay."

~~~~~~

Fifty-one years ago, Herman James, a North Carolina mountain man, was drafted by the Army. In his first day in basic training, the Army issued him a comb. That afternoon the Army barber sheared off all his hair. On his second day, the Army issued Herman a toothbrush. That afternoon the Army dentist yanked seven of his teeth. On the third day, the Army issued him a jock strap. The Army has been looking for Herman for 51 years.

~~~~~~

Hope everyone is having a good day! :D

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TriticusToxicum
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Posted

Let us all rejoice and celebrate Open Original Shared Link

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CarlaB Enthusiast
CarlaB
Posted
it was used once, I did not like the chicken, and so it got put in the closet

Ewww. I hope you meant the Crock Pot got put in the closet, not the chicken!! :P;)

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gfp Enthusiast
gfp
Posted
Ewww. I hope you meant the Crock Pot got put in the closet, not the chicken!! :P;)

I put my chicken in the closet but it was already cooked....

When I went back to find it there was just a sheepish looking Tom Cruise....and chicken bones....

Tom is, I believe, still in the closet though I am scared to check.

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jerseyangel Proficient
jerseyangel
Posted
Tom is, I believe, still in the closet though I am scared to check.

:lol::lol::lol:

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Mtndog Collaborator
Mtndog
Posted
I put my chicken in the closet but it was already cooked....

When I went back to find it there was just a sheepish looking Tom Cruise....and chicken bones....

Tom is, I believe, still in the closet though I am scared to check.

:P :P :P :P :P :P

Well NikkiUk keeps her Christmas Tree and elven helpers in the cupboard. We like to let them out, but under NO CIRCUMSTANCES should Tom be let out of that closet!

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CarlaB Enthusiast
CarlaB
Posted
I put my chicken in the closet but it was already cooked....

When I went back to find it there was just a sheepish looking Tom Cruise....and chicken bones....

Tom is, I believe, still in the closet though I am scared to check.

:lol::lol::lol:

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Mtndog Collaborator
Mtndog
Posted

I missed the short Richard sighting! Richard- you ordered a model the size of your thumb from Sweden? What exactly will you do with her? :P I guess you could keep her in the closet.

I LOVE Saabs- soooooo cool. I want a convertible Saab to replace my Cabrio someday :rolleyes:

What the heck is a Citroen? It sounds like a vodka. :P

If I was going to order a model, this is what I'd order: Open Original Shared Link but I'd prefer Open Original Shared Link

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Lisa Mentor
Lisa
Posted

B:

Richard ordered it for his father who has a passion and it is a gift for him.

Saaaabs are strange cars. You can't get used to putting in the key on the center console. I think since we have been married, I lost count on 67 cars that we have owned in 27 years. We have have had one of each and several of others. <_<

The most perfect utility is the herald "Cavavan", when you rchildren have the need to say, "She's looking at me!". Space for all.

And taking the girls to ballet class in a 911, totally defeats the production of the beast. A sad thing.

Now, settled with complacency, driving an Outback and HE drives the Discovery. He drives mine to pick up fire wood. Gonna take a stick of fire wood upside his head if he does not clean my car.

Citroens, B are little bitty French cars, not to different to the Bug, but different in design.

Lisa

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DingoGirl Enthusiast
DingoGirl
Posted
Just say "NO" (to TrimSpa :ph34r: )

:huh: I know......say no to Trimspa, methadone, alcohol and whatever else was mixed into the ever-present cocktail.........so sad. Quelle scandale.

Where do you live that you can see more than one Citroen :huh::blink: You're not eating the sod, are you? :o

of course I"m eating the sod, I was just using Stinker as a ploy, a ruse, to deflect attention off my "dirty" habit. :lol: Okay, so sorry for confusing your Saab with a Citroen......oh and I was living in Monterey/Carmel when I saw Citroens. Lots of eccentrics over there. the occasional rare Citroen sighting, always came in twos, and once, EVEN THREE in one day. so scary. :ph34r: Here in the San Joaquin Valley.......the citroen sighting is very rare indeed, my friend.

Ewww. I hope you meant the Crock Pot got put in the closet, not the chicken!! :P;)

:lol:

I put my chicken in the closet but it was already cooked....

When I went back to find it there was just a sheepish looking Tom Cruise....and chicken bones....

Tom is, I believe, still in the closet though I am scared to check.

:lol::lol::lol: OH I am so excited that GFP popped in to our nutty thread........ :rolleyes:

:P :P :P :P :P :P

Well NikkiUk keeps her Christmas Tree and elven helpers in the cupboard. We like to let them out, but under NO CIRCUMSTANCES should Tom be let out of that closet!

keep the elves, and Tom, and the children of the corn in the closet.......

got two very bored dingos staring at me. gotta find someting for them to do.

patti - - - go Patti, go Patti! excellent jokes :lol:

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