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The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

TriticusToxicum

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Jestgar Rising Star
Jestgar
Posted

Thanks My Phriend,

You forgot about my big arse.

Loey wub.gifwub.gif

At least yer balanced

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celiac-mommy Collaborator
celiac-mommy
Posted

I'm trying to play catch up. I have 16 pages left, so I know I'm behind with the following :rolleyes:

I'm thinking of sending him to Rachelle. She needs a manny. However, I fear that J & Max together might be a dangerous combination. :blink:

I'll still take him if he isn't happy where he's at. I pay 50$ per day for 2 kids currently. Sounds like it's more lucrative where he's at now ;) (but not nearly as entertaining, I'm sure!! :P )

A BLACK PRINTER CARTRIDGE.

Soooooooooooo sorry, and I'm really trying to keep a straight face.... :lol:

2 stories from my mom's epileptic and diabetic pomeranian:

Same Christmas break, I was home from college and I spend an entire day painstakingly making and decorating dozens of gingerbread men and ladies to decorate the Christmas tree. Had every cookie threaded with ribbon, carefully hung on the tree and had to leave the house for 5 minutes to pick my brother up from basketball practice. When I walked in the front door, there was a trail of ribbons from the tree down the hall. That damn dog cleared 5 feet up that tree and ate ALL of my work in 5 min!!!

A few days later, Jesse had come to visit. My mom had bought him a 2# bag of habanero jerkey that he opened, ate a piece and put it back in his suitcase. We left for the day to visit my grandma. When we got back, the damn dog was FLIPPING out, running from us to the kitchen, back and forth, 90MPH. His water bowl was bone dry and we could smell the jerky on him. Serves him right for eating all my cookies! :rolleyes:

And the new Kween of the Psillies is ...

Karen!

WooHooooooo! Congratulations!

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kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

I'm trying to play catch up. I have 16 pages left, so I know I'm behind with the following :rolleyes:

WooHooooooo! Congratulations!

Russell! Welcome back!

Isn't it easier to keep up with the posts then trying to go back & trying to catch up?

I'm not telling J about the Manny job. He would rather play Legos, go to the pool, ride bikes & play with a bunny. He would cure Max of the need to discuss his parts. :D

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celiac-mommy Collaborator
celiac-mommy
Posted

Ummm . . . we don't actually change your name . . . we just spell it fo-net-ick-lee. We like to use lots of silent letters like g's and h's etc . . . if you mispronounce our spelling, well that's all on you, Ghstefphunee. :P:lol:

How did I end up with Russell?? :P

Stephunnie likes ball sportz!

Personally, I don't prefer sports where balls fly at my nose.... ;):lol::lol:

Open Original Shared Link

I'd take stats to stare at him for an hour! It bothers the daughter when I comment on a guy's good looks. I tell her it is completely appropriate to appreciate another person's beauty. Since then, I try to ogle in secret with my sunglasses on :P

Here is a POW (People of Walmart acronym) bra:

bra.webp?height=400

Ahhhhh Sh!!!!!!!T!!! How'd you get a picture of me??? I used to be a 34H :ph34r:

lol... anybody got any great swim suit advice? including a freaking bikini that both contained said glands while compressing enough to prevent excessive cleavage.

i've lost mine. in a studio apartment. gol' darn it to hicknley hockeystick ell.

Bikini?? Screw you! :P JK!!! JK!!!! I wear a halter style top with a VS convertable bra under. I swear, the best my boobs ever look. No one's looking at the cottage cheese on my thighs! :o

:lol::lol:

Russell! Welcome back!

Isn't it easier to keep up with the posts then trying to go back & trying to catch up?

I'm not telling J about the Manny job. He would rather play Legos, go to the pool, ride bikes & play with a bunny. He would cure Max of the need to discuss his parts. :D

Don't forget about it only being 3 days a week, a fully stocked bar (for the other 4 days...-oh wait, he's underage :unsure: ), a 72" TV all to himself, and all the cake he can eat..... ;)

And yes, it would be easier. I gave up the other 2 jobs for the summer so I can try to enjoy my kids. But they've been fighting a lot lately, so maybe I should pick 1 back up... :rolleyes:

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kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

How did I end up with Russell?? :P

Didn't you have a patient that called you that?

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elye Community Regular
elye
Posted

bra.webp?height=400

Just looking at this pic again. . . . . . ...... Um, really -- what kind of editing/privacy clerk do they have identity-proofing these photos from the Walmart Series? Does he truly believe that this tiny, thin black line across the centRE of her eyes is going to render her unrecognizable to ANYONE who knows her?? :lol: :lol:

He shoulda made that black stripe a helluva lot wider and placed it over her boobs - - I'm bettin' that if you know her, the first things you're gonna recognize are those.. .. .

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celiac-mommy Collaborator
celiac-mommy
Posted

Didn't you have a patient that called you that?

Yes!!! That's right :lol::lol:

Goal 1 of the summer: get some brain cells back!! :rolleyes:

He shoulda made that black stripe a helluva lot wider and placed it over her boobs - - I'm bettin' that if you know her, the first things you're gonna recognize are those.. .. .

TruDat! Overall, I think her face would be the last thing to be noticed! :lol::lol:

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kiwibird75 Newbie
kiwibird75
Posted

Boooooobies!

Word for the day

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sb2178 Enthusiast
sb2178
Posted

2 stories from my mom's epileptic and diabetic pomeranian:

A few days later, Jesse had come to visit. My mom had bought him a 2# bag of habanero jerkey that he opened, ate a piece and put it back in his suitcase. We left for the day to visit my grandma. When we got back, the damn dog was FLIPPING out, running from us to the kitchen, back and forth, 90MPH. His water bowl was bone dry and we could smell the jerky on him. Serves him right for eating all my cookies! :rolleyes:

WooHooooooo! Congratulations!

Ha... my mom once had a poodle puppy who ate a half bushel basket of jalapeno peppers that had been left on the floor, thinking the dog would not try peppers. (This was also the dog who picked her own raspberries...). Mom said the silly critter didn't even seem phased when she came home.

The funniest dog story is actually a different poodle:

My grandmother uses a walker, the type with the little shelf. Her habit is to make her breakfast, put it on her walker, and roll over to the table. When she and my grandad visited my aunt (owner of that poodle), they usually bring a box of donuts as a treat for the grandkids. Everyone gets precisely two donuts that they can ration any way they like. Guess who moseyed on over and took on loooooong lick of Grandmother's second donut while she was on her way from the kitchen to dining room? The poodle. Bold as could be. Grandmother (a good Southern lady) actually yelled to the extent we came racing in because we'd thought she'd fallen and broken a hip or something.

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kiwibird75 Newbie
kiwibird75
Posted

Dogs can be so naughty! I had a spoodle (spaniel poodle cross) who would take food out of your hand while you weren't looking. But she was so gentle that often you didn't notice! She'd also eat off a fork.

She had a particular hatred of my cellphone though. One day I left it at home and the alarm on it went off (and kept going off). She managed to get it from the table, give it a jolly good chewing, and the bury it under a tree. Fortunately she didn't chew it enough to stop it working and I managed to find it by calling it... but... grrrr

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sb2178 Enthusiast
sb2178
Posted

Dogs can be so naughty! I had a spoodle (spaniel poodle cross) who would take food out of your hand while you weren't looking. But she was so gentle that often you didn't notice! She'd also eat off a fork.

She had a particular hatred of my cellphone though. One day I left it at home and the alarm on it went off (and kept going off). She managed to get it from the table, give it a jolly good chewing, and the bury it under a tree. Fortunately she didn't chew it enough to stop it working and I managed to find it by calling it... but... grrrr

that's hilarious. I have the psillyest image of a person wandering around trying to figure out where the rinigng is coming from... with the dog sitting satified, smirking over in the corner. Very New Yorker cartoon-esque!

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elye Community Regular
elye
Posted

Dogs can be so naughty! I had a spoodle (spaniel poodle cross) who would take food out of your hand while you weren't looking. But she was so gentle that often you didn't notice!

Man, I wish one o' MY dogs would regularly take food off my fork. . . .. ..... . . <_<

:rolleyes:

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celiac-mommy Collaborator
celiac-mommy
Posted

Man, I wish one o' MY dogs would regularly take food off my fork. . . .. ..... . . <_<

:rolleyes:

Simon only wants the veggies on my plate <_<

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celiac-mommy Collaborator
celiac-mommy
Posted

Don't know what's going on here! Never used to remember my dreams and now it's like crazy town every night and I seem to remember everything! :unsure:

Night before last it was me locked in a car eating fruity pebbles with Robert Pattinson, and as Nik said, "You were locked in a car with RPatz feeding him Fruity Pebbles? What a waste of a dream!" :lol::lol: and last night, I was on some retreat at the beach with 2 coworkers and a bunch of people I didn't know. I knew I was married, but Jesse wasn't there and I was after this guy who was honestly the most attractive guy I've never seen. So vivid and I know it's not someone I've ever met. His name was Suneed and he was middle eastern of some sort. Nothing happened, but I was topless thru the entire dream.... Right before I woke up I was getting ready to go horseback riding with one of the coworkers-not sure that would be too comfortable without a bra... :ph34r:

:lol::lol::lol:

Interpretations.....

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Jestgar Rising Star
Jestgar
Posted

You clearly need a vacation on a beach. Top is up to you.

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celiac-mommy Collaborator
celiac-mommy
Posted

Next month, for 8 days! I'll have to keep the top on though...

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Poppi Enthusiast
Poppi
Posted

I had a crazy dream last night too!

I was telling my husband about it when I woke up. I was having an affair and in my dream it had progressed from flirting to long conversations to the first kiss. But then our 2 year old woke me up before I got to the good part. :angry: I tried to go back to sleep and see if I could pick up where I left off but it didn't work. Bummer.

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kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

I had a crazy dream last night too!

I was telling my husband about it when I woke up. I was having an affair and in my dream it had progressed from flirting to long conversations to the first kiss. But then our 2 year old woke me up before I got to the good part. :angry: I tried to go back to sleep and see if I could pick up where I left off but it didn't work. Bummer.

You told your hub about this dream? :ph34r:

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celiac-mommy Collaborator
celiac-mommy
Posted

I never cheat in my dreams. For some reason in my dreams, if it ever gets to that point, the guy always turns into my husband :blink: I don't tell my hub about my dreams ;)

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elye Community Regular
elye
Posted

Hey, All!

We're in St. John, New Brunswick.......a thirteen-hour drive straight through Quebec and into the Maritimes.... ..man, 'tis a massive country I'm in. B)

DH's godmother, a descendent of Empire Loyalists, is still living alone in the family manse here that was her grandfather's when he moved up here from New England in the early 1850's. She is turning 100 tomorrow, so we have come to celebrate with about 150 other people, many from the States and overseas. I think of what an arduous, long drive it is, but then I think MAN -- one doesn't have many chances to be part of a hundred year birthday party.

Apparently there will be one hundred candles on Aunt Margaret's cake.....the only thing upon which she insisted.

I'm hopin' that I will run into Suneen at the big gathering tomorrow. . . .. .if not, perhaps in a dream while I am here.. . . . . :rolleyes:

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celiac-mommy Collaborator
celiac-mommy
Posted

I'm hopin' that I will run into Suneen at the big gathering tomorrow. . . .. .if not, perhaps in a dream while I am here.. . . . . :rolleyes:

Look for beautiful glowing olive skin, dark wavy hair and a nicely groomed beard. (and I'm not a beard person!) ;) . His voice could melt butter and his dark eyes dance and twinkle, his perfectly sculpted body... Good God, I need to stop! :ph34r:

:lol::lol:

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kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

Look for beautiful glowing olive skin, dark wavy hair and a nicely groomed beard. (and I'm not a beard person!) ;) . His voice could melt butter and his dark eyes dance and twinkle, his perfectly sculpted body... Good God, I need to stop! :ph34r:

:lol::lol:

Turning on the ceiling fan & get a glass of iced tea! :ph34r:

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kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

Look for beautiful glowing olive skin, dark wavy hair and a nicely groomed beard. (and I'm not a beard person!) ;) . His voice could melt butter and his dark eyes dance and twinkle, his perfectly sculpted body... Good God, I need to stop! :ph34r:

:lol::lol:

Turning on the ceiling fan & get a glass of iced tea! :ph34r:

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Poppi Enthusiast
Poppi
Posted

You told your hub about this dream? :ph34r:

Yup, he asked if it was anyone I knew. I told him it was a random hot stranger.

We are the two least jealous people on the planet. :)

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Loey Rising Star
Loey
Posted

I'm sure most of you have already seen this but, if not, ENJOY!!!!

Hugs,

Loey

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