Jump to content
This site uses cookies. Continued use is acceptance of our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy. More Info... ×
  • Welcome to Celiac.com!

    You have found your celiac tribe! Join us and ask questions in our forum, share your story, and connect with others.




  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A1):



    Celiac.com Sponsor (A1-M):


  • Get Celiac.com Updates:
    Help Celiac.com:
    eNewsletter
    Donate

The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original


TriticusToxicum

Recommended Posts

jerseyangel Proficient

And from Archie Bunker--

"You can't buy beer, you can only rent it."

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):
Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):



Celiac.com Sponsor (A8-M):



  • Replies 51k
  • Created
  • Last Reply
VydorScope Proficient

Nobody likes me, everybody hates me,

Guess I'll go eat worms,

Long, thin, slimy ones; Short, fat, juicy ones,

Itsy, bitsy, fuzzy wuzzy worms.

Down goes the first one, down goes the second one,

Oh how they wiggle and squirm.

Up comes the first one, up comes the second one,

Oh how they wiggle and squirm.

Nobody likes me, everybody hates me,

Think I'll go eat worms.

Big fat juicy ones, Eensie weensy squeensy ones,

See how they wiggle and squirm.

Chomp off their heads and squeeze out the juice

And throw their tails away

Nobody knows how I survive

On worms three times a day.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
CarlaB Enthusiast
Nobody likes me, everybody hates me,

Guess I'll go eat worms,

Long, thin, slimy ones; Short, fat, juicy ones,

Itsy, bitsy, fuzzy wuzzy worms.

Down goes the first one, down goes the second one,

Oh how they wiggle and squirm.

Up comes the first one, up comes the second one,

Oh how they wiggle and squirm.

Nobody likes me, everybody hates me,

Think I'll go eat worms.

Big fat juicy ones, Eensie weensy squeensy ones,

See how they wiggle and squirm.

Chomp off their heads and squeeze out the juice

And throw their tails away

Nobody knows how I survive

On worms three times a day.

I think someone's been reading too many children's books!

I hate it when my kids start talking about the lady who swallowed a fly, I don't know why she swallowed a fly, I think she'll die! Then I can't get it out of my head all day!! Now, I've passed it on to you!!! :lol::lol:

Link to comment
Share on other sites
TriticusToxicum Explorer

who can forget Woody Allen...

The only time my wife and I had a simultaneous orgasm was when the judge signed the divorce papers.

I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own. :ph34r:

What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? Or what's worse, what if only that fat guy in the third row exists? :huh:

I took a test in Existentialism. I left all the answers blank and got 100.

Inertia accounts for two-thirds of marriages. But love accounts for the other third.

-- (Hollywood Ending, 2002)

I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens. :blink:

Sex is better than talk...Talk is what you suffer through so you can get to sex.

-- (Hollywood Ending, 2002)

:P:D:lol:

The last time I was inside a woman was when I was inside the Statue of Liberty.

-- (Crimes and Misdemeanors, 1989)

I think someone's been reading too many children's books!

I hate it when my kids start talking about the lady who swallowed a fly, I don't know why she swallowed a fly, I think she'll die! Then I can't get it out of my head all day!! Now, I've passed it on to you!!! :lol::lol:

How about:

Miss Mary Mack-Mack-Mack,

All dresssed in Black-Black-Black,

With silver Buttons-Buttons-Buttons, all down her Back-Back-Back...

Olivia LOVES that, especially after we've asked her to cool it with the fly swallowing lady...I LOOOOOVE LOOOOONG car rides!

Link to comment
Share on other sites
CarlaB Enthusiast
...I LOOOOOVE LOOOOONG car rides!

Start saving your money now ... if you buy them all Ipods when they're a bit older, long car rides will be the quietest time of you life!

Link to comment
Share on other sites
TriticusToxicum Explorer
Start saving your money now ... if you buy them all Ipods when they're a bit older, long car rides will be the quietest time of you life!

It would be cheaper to buy myself a pair of earplugs! :P

99 bottle of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer,

Take one down, pass it around,

98 bottles of beer on the wall... :huh:

Link to comment
Share on other sites
CarlaB Enthusiast
It would be cheaper to buy myself a pair of earplugs! :P

They don't block everything out ... trust me, I use them often as my birds get up with the sun.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):
Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):



Celiac.com Sponsor (A8-M):



jerseyangel Proficient

Remember this one--

Comet--it makes your teeth turn green.

Comet--it tastes like gas-o-line.

Comet-it makes you vomit--

So get some Comet-and vomit today. :ph34r:

Link to comment
Share on other sites
CarlaB Enthusiast

Yea, I remember it!! Do you think Comet has gluten? :lol:

Link to comment
Share on other sites
TriticusToxicum Explorer
Remember this one--

Comet--it makes your teeth turn green.

Comet--it tastes like gas-o-line.

Comet-it makes you vomit--

So get some Comet-and vomit today. :ph34r:

I don't remember this one :(

I'm guessing this ad campaign flopped :)

Random question.

Which do women prefer:

Balding man

Bald man

Comb over (regular, not TheDonald)

Link to comment
Share on other sites
CarlaB Enthusiast
I don't remember this one :(

I'm guessing this ad campaign flopped :)

You're too young. This alternative song fit the jingle and it was what all the kids sang. How old are you anyway?

Link to comment
Share on other sites
TriticusToxicum Explorer

You're too young. This alternative song fit the jingle and it was what all the kids sang. How old are you anyway?

I'm not as old as my older sister, or my wife (my old lady :P ) for that matter.

Hint:

Deliverance :blink: and The Godfather :o were both still in theaters when I was in diapers (cloth, by the way)

Random question.

Which do women prefer:

Balding man

Bald man

Comb over (regular, not TheDonald)

Link to comment
Share on other sites
elonwy Enthusiast

I hate Jack in the Box. Because for the last three weeks:

My milk shake brings all the boys to the yard

And they're like, its better than yours

D*mn right, its better than yours

I would teach you, but I'd have to charge.

ARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGG.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
CarlaB Enthusiast

Does that mean you are six years from turning 40? Oh why would a man want to hide his age?

In answer to your question, I prefer a man with hair ... in the event he's losing it, at least be honest about it, don't comb it over!!

I hate Jack in the Box. Because for the last three weeks:

My milk shake brings all the boys to the yard

And they're like, its better than yours

D*mn right, its better than yours

I would teach you, but I'd have to charge.

ARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGG.

We don't have Jack in the Box. Sounds like I should be happy about it!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites
TriticusToxicum Explorer
I hate Jack in the Box. Because for the last three weeks:

My milk shake brings all the boys to the yard

And they're like, its better than yours

D*mn right, its better than yours

I would teach you, but I'd have to charge.

ARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGG.

We don't have Jack in the Box here. Sounds like that's a GOOD thing!

Link to comment
Share on other sites
jerseyangel Proficient

Good lord--those combover pictures :o

I'm sorry, but those make a guy look sleezy to me. Hair is nice, but if a guy is losing his hair, cut it short and go with it! I'd rather someone look natural and clean.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
TriticusToxicum Explorer
Does that mean you are six years from turning 40? Oh why would a man want to hide his age?

In answer to your question, I prefer a man with hair ... in the event he's losing it, at least be honest about it, don't comb it over!!

Closing in on the big 3-5! Who's hiding? :huh:

I'm just bored :)

Why does is matter how old/young I am? :blink:

Newsflash:

The combover has been patented!

Open Original Shared Link

Combover the movie!Open Original Shared Link

Link to comment
Share on other sites
CarlaB Enthusiast
Closing in on the big 3-5! Who's hiding? :huh:

I'm just bored :)

Why does is matter how old/young I am? :blink:

Just curious, I remember power suites from the early 80's, you remember Power Rangers ... then you didn't know the Comet song ... just was curious.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
TriticusToxicum Explorer
Just curious, I remember power suites from the early 80's, you remember Power Rangers ... then you didn't know the Comet song ... just was curious.

Sometimes my sarcasm doesn't come through this electronic medium... Power Suit.... Power Rangers , aw forget it :P

They were after my time BTW! ;)

Link to comment
Share on other sites
CarlaB Enthusiast
Sometimes my sarcasm doesn't come through this electronic medium... Power Suit.... Power Rangers , aw forget it :P

They were after my time BTW! ;)

Most of the time it comes through just fine .... the thing is, I wouldn't have even THOUGHT about Power Rangers .... you're still a baby, though, you can't help that. ;)
Link to comment
Share on other sites
TriticusToxicum Explorer
Good lord--those combover pictures :o

I'm sorry, but those make a guy look sleezy to me. Hair is nice, but if a guy is losing his hair, cut it short and go with it! I'd rather someone look natural and clean.

Sleazy, that's the word I was looking for! I wonder, is there a special substance that the CombOverers use to get it just right? There appear to be 2 distinct types - the oiled down combover and the ultra frizzed (I just hopped out of my Miata look) mad professor type.

My hair is just starting to recede (widows peaks) and the random grey hair has started to appear as well. I'm just exploring my options :P

What about a nice rug? :huh:

Link to comment
Share on other sites
CarlaB Enthusiast
My hair is just starting to recede (widows peaks) and the random grey hair has started to appear as well. I'm just exploring my options :P

What about a nice rug? :huh:

I have a friend who got a hair transplant ... you just have to go to the right person and be vain enough to put up with the pain and the expense!

No rug, no combover. Just cut it short and be honest about it!

Link to comment
Share on other sites
TriticusToxicum Explorer
I have a friend who got a hair transplant ... you just have to go to the right person and be vain enough to put up with the pain and the expense!

No rug, no combover. Just cut it short and be honest about it!

OMG! YOu know RICHARD SIMMONS! :lol:

My hair is short to begin with. I've had a flat top 1/2 my life, so bald won't be a big shock to me! I would NEVER, EVER, EVER get plugs! I'd get that Ronco spray-on-hair first!

Link to comment
Share on other sites
CarlaB Enthusiast
OMG! YOu know RICHARD SIMMONS! :lol:

My hair is short to begin with. I've had a flat top 1/2 my life, so bald won't be a big shock to me! I would NEVER, EVER, EVER get plugs! I'd get that Ronco spray-on-hair first!

ROFLMAO :lol::lol::lol: No, my friend got a very good one ... he's actually a VERY good looking guy, very vain, and I can see why he did it. You know the type, divorced, drives a Porche Boxter ...

Oh, and trust me, I DID give him a hard time about it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
jerseyangel Proficient

The Ronco Spray on Hair!!!!I forgot all about that.

Hey, remember the Flow-be? You could give yourself that flat top haircut, and all the excess hair would be sucked up into your vaccum cleaner. All in one easy step! :D

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.



  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A19):



  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      120,160
    • Most Online (within 30 mins)
      7,748

    sandy32
    Newest Member
    sandy32
    Joined

  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A20):


  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      120.2k
    • Total Posts
      1m

  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A22):





  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A21):



  • Upcoming Events

  • Posts

    • CatherineWang
      I'm pretty sure that in stores, you can find plenty of gluten-free options. But they are usually a bit more expensive.
    • cristiana
      Hello @BunnyBrown and welcome to the forum. I cannot say that I have had the procedure you describe, but recently I did have general surgery and was routinely intubated.  That pain was what troubled me most after the operation, far more than the operation site.  It took a few days to really settle down, I was quite badly bruised. It was taking so long I was a bit concerned so asked the question on another forum. A few patients came back to me and said they had suffered the same.  I imagine in my own case possibly the throat got bashed about a bit,  maybe they had difficult inserting the tube?  I've suffered with a painful throat post-endoscopy too, but never as long as the intubation pain.   I hope you will be feeling better very soon.   PS BTW - love the name!  I saw this today in an Easter display in a shop and your name reminded me of it.🙂  
    • cristiana
      This wonderful, Anne. I think you have a point about why people disappear off forums.  I found the first few years post diagnosis a real struggle and frankly wondered if I would ever feel better (not to dishearten people, but just to say it can take a while longer for some folk to heal).  However, once my antibodies were back within normal range it really has made a big difference to my health.  I've chosen to stick around because I'm a Mod, otherwise I might have been one of those that disappeared, too!      
    • Exchange Students
      Yes absolutely, we work with all public schools and some private schools in all 50 states.
    • Scott Adams
      Just a quick question, can the host live in any state in the USA?
×
×
  • Create New...