Who Gets Angry At People Who "can't Stick To Their Diets"

[Guest thatchickali]

So my room mates who know I have recently had to go gluten-free (I am at 1.5 months now) and they sit there eating their Taco Bell saying, ugh I have been trying to diet but I had to have a burrito. Then they complain about how fat they are for daaaaaaaays. They also say "I'm never drinking again" after a long night of drinking, and someone offers a beer, and that statement is out the window...

I finally got so mad the other day at the diet thing that I said, "Try Gluten Free" and walked out of the room.

I'm in an "Understanding Addictions" class where we had to give up something for 28 days, there were a couple people who couldn't think of anything. I mean they were shooting down every suggestion, so I just said how about gluten.....(After explaining what it is) everyone said "NO WAY I COULD EVER DO THAT" and I was just so angry because Yes, they can.....

What happens if they were forced to?

I don't know I just have so much resentment from this, how long does that resentment last?

Don't get me wrong I also have times where I am proud of myself, so proud that I want to scream it out, but I have low times where I want to shake the people around me from their bad habits.

[sansglutengrl]

Oh I TOTALLY understand this one. I work in an office with mostly women - who are constantly on diets, complaining about how they want to be skinny but they don't want to give up their bread at dinner or their cake for desert and it's so frustrating to me!

Someone actually said to me today - are you ready for this - that they are jealous that I get to have celiac because it means I'm such a "skinny-minny." Jealous that I get to have celiac. Wow. Some people just don't have an edit button do they?

Anger aside though - I am glad that I have this in a way. It's made me so much healthier and so much more conscious of what I'm putting into my body. So maybe when you get frustrated at your roomies, just remember that in the long run you'll always be much healthier than them - you know?

[tarnalberry]

honestly, I think there are some people who do not have the willpower to do it. I also think willpower is a learned skill, so I believe these people can gain the skill, but have been unwilling to do it, but at this point, they don't. it is frustrating, but I look at is as something to pity more than get angry about.

[Kaycee]

I am gluten free, and I have been dieting. Initially I thought gluten free would be so hard, as I could never,ever stick to a diet, but I have since found out that gluten-free is easy compared to dieting. I just don't understand why dieting would be harder. I must admit, my diet is working, but my diet gives me more stress than being gluten free.

Cathy

[Mom23boys]

I so understand what you are saying.

I believe that after you have been on food "restriction" for a while you come to see food as it was originally purposed -- for nourishment.

Our society has let food take on a role I don't believe it was meant to have. It is a whole messed up confusion of needs and wants. We are focusing on food but it goes way beyond food boundaries. We are pushed to make food FUN for children. Eating is a SOCIAL event. As a woman I am taught to turn to food to heal my EMOTIONS. Even the choices we make are marked with CLASS rankings.

It is difficult to see people wrap their self worth into that brownie or X brand clothes. For many their happiness is dependent on that bite. I think with addictions we have given our power away to external sources. Some of it starts with us not wanting to take the blame for the bad things in our life. We have given away our power. We think it is a lot easier to say "I'm not happy because I didn't get that brownie or I didn't get my nails done" then to say "I'm not happy because I messed up.

You ask "what if they were forced to?". I think you would see all kinds of things. Some would heal. Some would find a replacement for the addiction. Some would be in downright emotional turmoil.

I'm not sure how long the resentment lasts. I think I might use a different word to describe how I feel but I do know what you are saying.

[blueeyedmanda]

honestly, I think there are some people who do not have the willpower to do it. I also think willpower is a learned skill, so I believe these people can gain the skill, but have been unwilling to do it, but at this point, they don't. it is frustrating, but I look at is as something to pity more than get angry about.

I agree with you on this. My fiance is the same way, he needs to stop smoking and I know he could if he gave it his all or had the willpower.

[NoGluGirl]

Dear Ali,

I often wonder when people will realize stupidity is not a virtue! There is a terrible illness rampant in our society called willing ignorance. I prefer to abbreviate it, and call it BIAS, which stands for Brain In A** Syndrome). It always makes me feel less resentful making fun of such people. Humor makes everything better!

Dear Mom23Boys,

I will be the first to say I love to eat, and am honestly a food whore! I do not see my self-worth in a brownie. It really has more to do with the chemicals that make you feel good surfacing when you eat a food. Neurotransmitters in the brain are very sensitive to food. That is why The Zone seems to be the smartest diet out there.

It is incredibly easy to do gluten-free, and treats food like medicine, in specific doses. Each meal or snack is 30 percent fat, 30 percent lean protein, and 40 percent carbohydrate. A biochemist discovered how those macronutrients effect the body, and how that balance assists in fighting disease, keeping blood sugar controlled, losing weight that is fat and not muscle, as well as increasing your brain function. The diet is a hormonally correct one. You also get one day off a week, where you can eat anything you want. This prevents you from going crazy all week.

Sincerely,

NoGluGirl

[Tim-n-VA]

This topic made me think about a t-shirt for sale on the satirical site The Onion:

"I Wish Someone Would Do Something About How Fat I Am".

Open Original Shared Link

[NoGluGirl]

Dear Tim,

ROTFLMAO! That is hilarious! I would not mind getting one of those! My brother would like that. This is a great shirt! My brother has finally accepted the fact he could be a Celiac like me. He has been overweight his entire life, and addicted to pastries. His stomach issues just increasingly get worse, as mine had before diagnosis.

Sincerely,

NoGluGirl

[EBsMom]

What happens if they were forced to?

I think that's the key right there - "if they were *forced* to." If you have a choice between being really sick or abstaining from a food, it's not a difficult choice to make. If it's a choice with no immediate negative consequences - i.e., eat the burrito or save a few calories - AND it's a choice that carries some immediate gratification as well - most people don't have the willpower to make what their mind *knows* is the right choice.

That sounds like a tough environment for you to be living in while trying to maintain your gluten-free diet. I give you LOTS of credit for doing it! There are people all around me (family members) who most likely have some degree of gluten intolerance (symptoms galore) but are in complete and total denial. They get defensive when I bring up the diet and they're even critical of it. I find that it helps me most to just concentrate on ME (and my kids, who are also gluten-free) and to let them wallow in their own poor habits. I will admit that I feel kind of "holier than thou" sometimes....but I try to keep that to myself, lol!

Hang in there! You'll be laughing in the end, because you'll be the healthiest one in the house!

Rho

[JNBunnie1]

I think that's the key right there - "if they were *forced* to." If you have a choice between being really sick or abstaining from a food, it's not a difficult choice to make. If it's a choice with no immediate negative consequences - i.e., eat the burrito or save a few calories - AND it's a choice that carries some immediate gratification as well - most people don't have the willpower to make what their mind *knows* is the right choice.

That sounds like a tough environment for you to be living in while trying to maintain your gluten-free diet. I give you LOTS of credit for doing it! There are people all around me (family members) who most likely have some degree of gluten intolerance (symptoms galore) but are in complete and total denial. They get defensive when I bring up the diet and they're even critical of it. I find that it helps me most to just concentrate on ME (and my kids, who are also gluten-free) and to let them wallow in their own poor habits. I will admit that I feel kind of "holier than thou" sometimes....but I try to keep that to myself, lol!

Hang in there! You'll be laughing in the end, because you'll be the healthiest one in the house!

Rho

You know, I think I must be the strangest person out there. I'm the kind of person who may have to do something unhealthy for a while before I give it up (smoking, workaholic, drinking, sugary foods, whatever) but when I decide to give something up because it's bad for me, I go cold turkey and never do it again. So maybe for me, going gluten free was easier mentally than for most, because I'm already used to making abrupt decisions like that. Then I get frustrated when other people 'decide' to do something (gluten-free, smoking, whatever) and they 'cheat'. It's hard to remeber that most people need a real, in-your-face reason for motivation to do something. You can't see calories, but you can taste a yummy burrito, so it's easier to flagellate yourself and have it than abstain and feel bereft, for most people. We're forced to go gluten-free or else we'll get sick and probably die a lot sooner than we would have. Has anyone else found that making health decisions is easier once you've gotten a grip on gluten-free? You know, like no donuts or quitting smoking?

Also Ali, these girls you live with have probably never had to give up anything more important than their phone privileges when they were teenagers. Keep in mind that this is forcing you to grow up a lot faster than they are, and also to be smarter than they are. It's hard to live with someone who doesn't 'match' you mentally. That comment about the cake was pretty rude, you probably wouldn't ever say anything like that. If it was me, I'd serve a gluten-free piece to the other girls without telling them and when they say how much they like it, tell them it's gluten-free, and tell the girl who made the rude comment that she doesn't know everything about gluten-free food. My favorite gluten-free cake so far was the gluten-free pantry chocolate chip cake, OH MY GOD. We put ice cream on top and let it melt a little, no frosting needed..... There's also a recipe on the homepage here for something called Hot Fudge Cake, it's more like a pudding/brownie when it's done but WOW it's good.

[Acersma]

I agree but,,,,,we are on a Gluten Free Diet becasue we get ill and can kill ourselves if we don't stick to it. I am sure everyone here before going gluten free tried to diet and gave in to the temptaions. I did. The burritto didn't make me ill (it did...i jsut didn't realize what was going on). We can't punish our co-workers or friends and family for our illness. YEs I get upset too seeing someone come in w/ a box of bakery goods or whatever but I don't get upset at them. I sulk for a few minutes and remind myelf that I don't want to be down sick the next few days because I gave in. I don't want others to not be able to cheat on a diet or enjoy the good foods or celebrations in life. They should enjoy it. AND I should enjoy that I no longer get ill when I eat because I am in charge of my life. We can't make others feel bad for the position we are in. We went away for the weekend w/ friends and family and went out to eat. I had a plain salad and brought my own dressing while the rest ate burgers, fries, pizza, etc... The whole time I told myself "they are going to be stuffed, uncomfortable and tired in about an hour. I on the other hand felt great and when we were back home I had a great burger w/ my homemade fries. We need to see the good of Gluten Free.

Jody

[hathor]

Yeah, I feel that way at times, those who can't lose weight or who can't follow a diet that would do wonders for their GERD or heart disease or whatever but would rather just take a pill. I've quit smoking, lost weight, quit eating animal products, quit gluten, quit soy. I just did it.

Another one -- "it is my genes that make me fat." Yeah, funny how the genes in the US have suddenly changed And when folks in other countries start eating the Standard American Diet their genes change too ...

Yes, I know there is genetic variation and some find it easier than others. But if someone is eating crap everyday and doesn't exercise, I can find it hard to find any empathy for them. I do try to keep it to myself, though.

In my more charitable moods, which I hope are more frequent than the sentiments I just expressed , I realize that I'm not perfect and I certainly went through periods of time in my life when I ate lots of junk, smoked like a chimney, and weighed more than I do right now. And I'm sure I made excuses. I had to be committed to make every change I made I have; the motivation and strength just couldn't come from outside.

However, if anyone ever told me that the gluten intolerance is "lucky," I would probably take their head off. Just saying

[Panopticism]

I have one.

"I'm going to stop drinking, because it makes me feel so sh***y."

"Good. It makes you look so sh***y, too."

6 hours later, they were throwing up into the bowl part of MY microwave popcorn popper.

I am used to the "I feel so fat." *continues eating bag of chips*

[kbtoyssni]

I don't get too upset. When people tell me that gluten-free must be so hard and that they could never do it, I know they're thinking about their current lifestyle and how difficult it would be to cut all the gluten. Yes, it would be a major change for them that offers no apparent benefit. But my lifestyle when eating gluten wasn't like that of a "normal" person. It was that of a very sick, bedridden person. When making a choice between gluten and bedridden OR gluten-free and leading a normal, happy, healthy life, it's a no brainer. When people make these statements, they are doing the benefits-downsides analysis in their head. And for most, the downsides far outweigh the benefits for them.

I usually respond to comments about how hard gluten-free must be with something along the lines of "well, gluten makes me very sick, so for me it's an easy choice. Not eating gluten means I can lead a normal life instead of being bedridden". People usually get the idea. I'm sure me being able to brush off comments like this are due partially to my very positive, easygoing attitude and great outlook on the disease.

[EBsMom]

I believe that after you have been on food "restriction" for a while you come to see food as it was originally purposed -- for nourishment.

This is SO true! I just made a similar comment to my brother this morning. The longer I'm gluten-free/cf/sf, the less I feel "attached" to food in an emotional way. I'm also much more aware of the extent of emotional, sentimental and cultural attachment everyone around me seems to attach to food. It's kind of like being sober in a room full of drunk people, lol! I feel much more sane eating to live, rather than living to eat, and I'm quite sure that I'm healthier for it.

Rhonda

[gfpaperdoll]

This is SO true! I just made a similar comment to my brother this morning. The longer I'm gluten-free/cf/sf, the less I feel "attached" to food in an emotional way. I'm also much more aware of the extent of emotional, sentimental and cultural attachment everyone around me seems to attach to food. It's kind of like being sober in a room full of drunk people, lol! I feel much more sane eating to live, rather than living to eat, and I'm quite sure that I'm healthier for it.

Rhonda

oh I so agree with this...

[tarnalberry]

I believe that after you have been on food "restriction" for a while you come to see food as it was originally purposed -- for nourishment.

Our society has let food take on a role I don't believe it was meant to have. It is a whole messed up confusion of needs and wants. We are focusing on food but it goes way beyond food boundaries. We are pushed to make food FUN for children. Eating is a SOCIAL event. As a woman I am taught to turn to food to heal my EMOTIONS. Even the choices we make are marked with CLASS rankings.

...

You ask "what if they were forced to?". I think you would see all kinds of things. Some would heal. Some would find a replacement for the addiction. Some would be in downright emotional turmoil.

I still see food as something more than just nutrition, despite having been gluten free for four years and dairy free for three. I do recognize that it is *intended* to be just nutrition, but *can* be more. Just like clothing is intended to be nothing more than warmth and protection, but can be a fashion statement and a reflection of our own personality. Food can be one or the other or both at any given time, but I think it can be really hard for some people to separate it, to allow it to be just nourishment sometimes, to turn off the 'social' aspect of it.

As for if they're 'forced to'... That's the thing... no one is ever forced to - forced feedings are illegal for competant people. It's *ALWAYS* a choice. It might be - to most of us - a kinda obvious choice (please note the sarcasm), but it's still a choice. You can be celiac and choose to eat gluten. They're not forced to go gluten free. I have a friend who doesn't tolerate dairy very well, and just today figured out she doesn't tolerate bananas well either. She can't really fathom the idea of not eating either, and she does still eat dairy (in small quantities, which she mostly does alright with, if she's careful).

[sfm]

I don't get too upset. When people tell me that gluten-free must be so hard and that they could never do it, I know they're thinking about their current lifestyle and how difficult it would be to cut all the gluten. Yes, it would be a major change for them that offers no apparent benefit. But my lifestyle when eating gluten wasn't like that of a "normal" person. It was that of a very sick, bedridden person. When making a choice between gluten and bedridden OR gluten-free and leading a normal, happy, healthy life, it's a no brainer. When people make these statements, they are doing the benefits-downsides analysis in their head. And for most, the downsides far outweigh the benefits for them.

I usually respond to comments about how hard gluten-free must be with something along the lines of "well, gluten makes me very sick, so for me it's an easy choice. Not eating gluten means I can lead a normal life instead of being bedridden". People usually get the idea. I'm sure me being able to brush off comments like this are due partially to my very positive, easygoing attitude and great outlook on the disease.

I agree with you. When someone says, I could never do it - it's more of a compliment, I think. My response is usually, If I hadn't been so sick, I'm not sure I could have done it, either.

I've also had the comment about, Wow, I wish I had celiac, then I could look as good as you. I guess I just chalk it up to lack of understanding, but I also respond to the 'I have no willpower' or 'I'm so fat' with, "Well, you could always try my way and develop an autoimmune disorder which makes it difficult for you to eat!" I like to keep a sense of humor about the whole thing.

I'm lucky, though - one of my coworkers baked a gluten free cake for my birthday, and everyone was very supportive and ate a piece and said, Hey, not bad!

Sheryll

[NoGluGirl]

Dear JNBunnie1,

I would have done the same thing! I love to sneak things to people and make them think they are eating the bad stuff. They never know unless you tell them! I am so wicked! My parents were surprised at the cake mix I got from the Chocolate Emporium. They did not think it was too bad!

Dear Jody,

I agree that the other foods really have a bad effect on you. I never like to eat until I am stuffed. Eating until just comfortable is what I do. I cannot stand eating more than a dessert plate full of food at a time. I have always been this way.

Gluten does tend to make people eat more than they really need, especially if they are addicted to it and are Celiac but do not know it.

Dear hathor,

ROTFLMAO! I know exactly what you mean. Who has not run into people like that? I have to say, going gluten-free has given me a good reason to eat junk. I have been telling myself that there are a lot of healthy tasty foods out there I can have. So, I make sure I do not overdo it. The Candida makes me overdo the sugar, because it is an addiction. You kind of have to slowly get rid of it so that you do not go into severe withdrawal. I also make sure to do more to balance my blood sugar.

Dear Panopticism,

EEEEWWWWW!!!!! Where is that queasy face when you need it? I hope you got a new popcorn popper! I never understood why people drink. The stuff smells terrible, and tastes worse. Two lousy sips of alcohol make my stomach burn like fire! Plus, when I have fun, it is kind of nice to remember it.

Sincerely,

NoGluGirl

[newlyfree]

I LOVE THIS THREAD!!

I discovered my gluten problem when hubby and I decided to go on one of those "program' diets - the kind where all your meals come in tiny microwaveable packages. After a few months of eating only 1200 calories a day with some form of bread product for every meal AND starchy snacks AND cakey desserts, I'd gained 10 pounds and was in so much pain I could barely move.

After my Celiac dx, I switched to gluten-free and started getting my health back. And I lost weight Hubby found it 'too hard' to stick to his program solo, so he started eating regular food again. I remember him complaining that he still needed to lose weight while shoving a bucket of Cheesecake Factory pasta in his mouth! Ugh!!! Made me want to dump the whole thing on his head!!

But kudos to him, after things with my health normalized a bit, he got back on the program diet, and has now lost enough weight that he feels comfortable going off the program and joining me on the gluten-free path. And he's losing weight still.

One other thing - now that I've slimmed down, people at work keep coming up to me and asking, 'what's your secret'? When I tell them "I can't eat anything with gluten, dairy, or soy in it" they pull the "Oh, I couldn't ever give up my (insert high-calorie treat here)"! Well - guess that means my secret *really* is, the longer I'm without the foods I used to be addicted to, the less I even think about them. I used to cry a lot over missing my old foods - I would come home on a day someone had celebrated their birthday at the office and just HOWL in self-pity for an hour. Now, I can watch someone eating their gluten cake in front of me and not even blink.

So yay. I guess I'm evolving.

[NoGluGirl]

Dear newlyfree,

I know exactly what you went through with the diet issue! Before I went gluten-free, I could not lose a pound. I was eating 1,200 calories or less and 30 grams of fat at the most a day. I just wanted to cry. Strangely, I had just about always been too thin, so this was unusual for me.

I do not pity people anymore. I dislike those who are inconsiderate of my illness. No one cares I get violently ill from a microscopic amount of gluten you cannot even see. My parents will not accept the fact that they could be Celiacs, but at least my brother is coming around. Having a genetic disease still makes people use the most absurd excuses to eat their gluten-filled, cancer-causing crap. I told my mother she is no longer allowed to complain when she is still sick after swallowing four prescriptions and Immodium to attempt stopping her D.

It is terrific your husband is joining you on the gluten-free path. You are sure going to be in better shape this way, too. Your cross-contamination risk is much lower that way. I am stuck living with two people who eat gluten. There is nothing I can do but be practically paranoid.

Sincerely,

Jin

[newlyfree]

Hey NoGluGirl,

SO sorry to hear about your family's attitude. It's horrible to have to deal with that on a day-to-day basis. After reading some of the horror stories from other people on this board (family who won't accept it, friends who try to purposefully gluten you to prove you're 'faking', etc), I realize that I'm DAMN lucky hubby's handled this all so well.

This diet is rough enough *with* support, you're incredibly strong to be able to follow it in a household like that.

Glad your brother is starting to see the light - if that continues, maybe your parents will start to see things differently, too.

Christa

[NoGluGirl]

Dear Christa,

I am glad my brother is already doing better! It is difficult for him, but his job depends on it. I told him before, that if he got sick enough, he would be willing to try anything. He was telling his doctor about our phone conversation that morning, and he told him to talk to me! Talk about stunning.

My parents are very careless, and I got glutened again the other day. They complain I need to go out and get a job, but are not willing to be careful with crumbs so I do not get sick! It is kind of difficult to keep a job once you get one if you are too sick to show up, don't you think? I also told them, they are not allowed to whine when they are ill anymore. They are also not allowed to whine if they get cancer, because I warned them.

My brother and I have determined that there is no way we are related to these idiots by blood! We must have been mixed up in the hospital or something. I do not get why people will do anything to justify eating crap. Regardless, it is their grave they are digging. Why should I be sympathetic toward others who refuse to provide a simple thing like understanding? It sounds very hard-nosed, and even cold, but I am tired of being hurt!

Sincerely,

Jin