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How To Handle This . . .


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31 replies to this topic

#16 plantime

 
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Posted 01 April 2005 - 07:35 AM

I know I can't travel to a third world country and eat the food, no less speak the language to ask them to prepare, gluten, dairy free diet. I'm hypersensitive to other food alergies with the thyroid too. I don't trust it... I'll be in hospital montazoomas revenge (giggle) with in hour... They won't know how to understand or treat me, I know.


But this is creating a huge riff in my family. The bride is a b*tch we all have asked them to please reconsider and have the wedding here in the US someplace -- she out-and-out refuses. My brother says, "It's the brides day!" and my father and I are at a point we don't want to go...

My suggestion is to eat lots of fruits and veggies with no sauces, and plain meat. I don't know if you would be allowed to take food with you, as I don't know Customs laws.

As far as the bride, you don't get to choose your family, except the one you marry! Your brother has to live with her, so be patient and be friendly! Maybe a wedding in Cancun is something she has dreamed of for all her life, and this is her only chance to make that dream come true. Since Cancun is a great vacation resort, chances are that someone will be able to translate for you. Call the hotel yourself, explain about your celiac. It is very possible that they have already dealt with this before, and have a plan in place for it. After all, catering to the public is their "bread and butter", and they want to add jam! :)
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Dessa

The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make His face shine upon you and be gracious to you." Numbers 6:24-25

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#17 ms_sillyak_screwed

 
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Posted 01 April 2005 - 11:38 AM

Thanks for the ideas...

Please keep in mind the WEEK-LONG wedding is in a tiny spot in CanCun on a beach. There will little for me to choose from on a menu. The B*tch Bridezilla has planned this wedding there because she HATES me and my dad, its a known fact. It's the real reason. She knows my health issues. My Rock Star brother has a problem with shyness (although can perform in front of thousands and thousands of fans) he lets Bridezilla control everything.

With my celiac I am hypersenstive to EVERYTHING -- My celiac friends, I have the ULTIMATE CHALLANGE!

I can NOT eat anything CORN, RICE, POTATOES, GLUTEN, DAIRY, CHEESE, BUTTER, SOY (it is a big no-no too) NO peanut butter, rice cakes, as well as limited types of NUTs also. Some VEGGIES ARE LIMITED too with my thyroid problem. No Onions, TOMATOES, Garlic, the list is too long to list... Veggies have to be steamed... FRUIT NO ORANGE, CRAPFRUIT, CRANBERRY, I can only tollerate only melons and some berries at this stage with my thyroid problem. BANANA are my best friend! I eat plenty each day 3 or 4...

Most of what I eat is like a cave man/woman CHICKEN, STEAK, BURGERS, TURKEY, all GRILLED- BAKED or BROILED. JUICE fresh sqeezed carrot celery, zuccini, juice. Or bottled grape juice... DISTILLED WATER, not spring or filtered tap (it maked me ill) I drink a lot of plain PEDIA LYTE baby electrolytes does wonders when I'm sick.

Mexico is a country they tell us DON'T DRINK THE WATER, remember? And if they wash the raw veggies I'm in big trouble. And to bring fresh fruit and most food in though MEXICAN customs creates another problem. You aren't allowed too.

So? What do you think now???
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#18 plantime

 
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Posted 01 April 2005 - 11:43 AM

I think I would give Dear Brother and his Bridezilla a card, say congratulations, and plan something else to do in the States for that week! <_< I have to admit, it sounds like something my SIL would do. And my brother would let her do it!
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The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make His face shine upon you and be gracious to you." Numbers 6:24-25

#19 angel_jd1

 
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Posted 01 April 2005 - 11:46 AM

I have heard that when you go to another country, if you have a doctors note, that you can bring in food IF it is for a medical condition. You might check up on this.

Sounds like you have your work cut out for you. Are they doing it at a resort or something? Maybe you can find out where and call the chef yourself, and bypass bridezilla. :blink:


-Jessica :rolleyes:
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Jessica
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#20 Roo

 
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Posted 01 April 2005 - 10:35 PM

Sillyak,

I just came across this ad on another website and thought it might help you with your trip if you decide to go. I don't even have a trip planned and I might order one. For $5.95 it seems worth it, just to hold onto for another time. I'm sure when I need it I wouldn't be able to find it.


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Roo
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#21 Guest_ajlauer_*

 
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Posted 01 April 2005 - 11:15 PM

With that new detailed information.... It's not worth it! If you have that may food issues, and your brother won't accomodate - he doesn't want you there bad enough. And if he doesn't want you there bad enough, why risk your life to go? It isn't worth it! Like Plantime said, give a nice card and congrats. It's almost as if they're getting married in Neverland... you can't fly, and can't get ahold of any pixiedust! If they won't give you the pixiedust - you can't be expected to show up! If your brother wants to let his wife control things to that extent, then he has to suffer the consequences of you not attending. He'll have to live with that decision - and he'll regret it later.
You probably can't say, but I'm totally curious - what band is he a part of?

Good luck! You've been put in an awful position. I know the decision can't be an easy one for you - but I don't think you really have an option. Just my opinion. :wub:
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#22 Maggie1956

 
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Posted 02 April 2005 - 03:23 AM

I agree with Ajlauer. They don't deserve to have you attend. Send them that lovely card, and have a great day at home, where you'll be safe. :)
Your health has to come before anything else. They'll just have to live with the consequenses of their selfish actions.

Hang in there, and never allow anyone to jeopodise your health! :wub:
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SUNSHINE COAST, QUEENSLAND, AUSTRALIA

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#23 Holgate

 
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Posted 03 April 2005 - 12:34 PM

I have a similar problem in a couple months when I have to go to a confrence up country. I have to attend the gala dinner as my local referees secretary because it's the only real way to make contacts and get myself known to the select list referees who we would like to come down to our area and talk at some point, however there will be nothing I can eat.

I did get a bit worried about it, but I did contact the hotel hosting the event and asked them if I could bring my own food which they were more than happy with and they said they would supply me with as much fresh fruit and veg as I wanted. Most places will accomodate even if they don't understand your diet.
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#24 debmidge

 
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Posted 03 April 2005 - 12:47 PM

MsSillyak screwed & first Poster about weddings, etc.

My husband's diet is similar to MsSillyak's - no veggies and other good seasonings. We turn down weddings, etc. if we aren't close enough to bride and groom to ask about what's being served, etc. (My husband is very, very underweight from Celiac and can't afford to skip meals and is on an eating schedule to make sure that he gets enough calories in a day. Being out for hours without eating will not be good for him. )

However, we turned down our last opportunity to take part in a social situation at a catering/restaurant, and unbeknownst to me, after the date went by, I found out that the place prepared gluten-free food...well, hindsight is 20/20. But the organizers of this christening party were not close enough for to us to ask them directly, i.e., can we arrange for gluten-free meal? As a matter of fact, when I called to give my "regrets" the host made us use a special phone number that recorded our "regrets" so there was no way I could speak with them even if I had known about the restaurant preparing gluten-free food.

Now this brings me to another thought....if I did call the catering place BEFORE the date and arranged a gluten-free meal, would the catering place have tacked an extra fee on the host's bill? And if the host argued his bill only to find that somehow I was responsible that would have been embarrassing. So, I suppose the only way around this is to clear it with the host first, then call the caterer and accept the extra cost, if any, yourself. This might make for an expensive experience, but that's up to you.

To the woman going to Mexico: are you living close to the site, like right over the CA or TX border? Can your brother arrange to get you a cooler with dry ice and your special foods, like salads or meats can be kept cold during the travel? Is he aware of this impasse? If this is too involving for you, then my advice is to stay home and send your regards to them. There's a certain point where you have to draw the line for yourself.
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Husband has Celiac Disease and
Husband misdiagnosed for 27 yrs -
The misdiagnosis was: IBS or colitis
Mis-diagnosed from 1977 to 2003 by various gastros including one of the largest,
most prestigious medical groups in northern NJ which constantly advertises themselves as
being the "best." This GI told him it was "all in his head."
Serious Depressive state ensued
Finally Diagnosed with celiac disease in 2003
Other food sensitivities: almost all fruits, vegetables, spices, eggs, nuts, yeast, fried foods, roughage, soy.
Needs to gain back at least 25 lbs. of the 40 lbs pounds he lost - lost a great amout of body fat and muscle
Developed neuropathy in 2005
Now has lymphadema 2006
It is my opinion that his subsequent disorders could have been avoided had he been diagnosed sooner by any of the dozen or so doctors he saw between 1977 to 2003

#25 cdford

 
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Posted 04 April 2005 - 03:49 PM

REMEMBER YOUR LETTER IF YOU TRAVEL OUT OF THE US!

Some countries will not allow you to bring in food items unless you also have a letter of medical necessity from your doctor. Be sure to pack them in a separate box that is clearly labelled as medical supplies with a copy of the letter inside. Not sure, but I think this info came from one of Bette Hagmann's books.
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...also DH, fibromyalgia, neuropathy, osteopenia, hypothyroid...

After almost 10 years, I am doing soooo much better!

#26 ms_sillyak_screwed

 
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Posted 07 April 2005 - 11:01 AM

Thank you all my Celiac cyberspace friends!

I printed out your posting and dad and I read though them. Thanx! You have all made it easier for us to understand and cope...

And perhaps someday when I meet a nice guy and can travel again to europe or some far off fun spot like I use to do, I can use all this helpful information all of you have given me, and I can have FUN again.

My rock star brother has let [stardumb, fame and b*tch bridezilla] get to his head. They have NO compassion for my illness and could careless about the me traveling to a third-world country. After speaking with him I understand the REAL reason, I no longer have a brother...

I will do exactly what - ajlauer and Maggie1956 suggested. plantime I found comfort in knowing you have a SIL and brother that would do the same thing. I don't feel so alone.

I will plan something else that weekend. After all ~ it's my birthday that weekend too! ;-D

Thanx again!

PS - ajlauer - The band is in the top single didgets on the record charts.
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#27 westiepaws

 
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Posted 25 April 2005 - 07:50 PM

Hi Ms. Sillyak how did your brother manage to escape the celiac gene? Or is he just ignoring reality and not getting tested (like my brother)?

(Side note, I will be way grumpy if my brother gets celiac-related problems in his later years and expects moi to be his caregiver.....and he will be way grumpy when I refuse! And now back to our regularly scheduled celiac.com programming.....)

If I were you, I would either fly down just for the day and go to the wedding only, then fly back, or skip the whole freaking thing. It's bizarro that they chose your birthday, and way too risky.

If I knew your brother's band, I'd be sure to never buy any of their records so bridezilla has less money to spend. :lol:

Hugs,

westiepaws
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#28 Guest_ajlauer_*

 
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Posted 26 April 2005 - 01:07 AM

If I knew your brother's band, I'd be sure to never buy any of their records so bridezilla has less money to spend. :lol:

:lol: I guess that would be why she won't tell us! I checked the charts (when sillyak posted that last post) and found one rock band in the single digits. Assuming that's the one... but with no FORMAL confirmation, I can't be sure!! The day after I did that, my son was watching (and rewatching) one of that band's music videos. It was driving me NUTS wondering if that was "THE band"!! I'm too curious. Far... far too curious!

Oh, and then I look at the band members and wonder which one is "the brother"!
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#29 ianm

 
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Posted 26 April 2005 - 06:46 PM

If your brother is a famous rock star, what in the world is he doing getting married to someone like that?
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If all the world is indeed a stage and we are merely players then will someone give me the script because I have no f!@#$%^ clue as to what is going on!

What does not kill you makes you stronger.
Nobody cares about losers and quitters never win. If you fail with the cowards then what's the message you send?
Can't get it right, no matter what I do. Might as well be me and keep fu@$ing up for you. - Brian Thomas (Halloween, the greatest metal band ever!)

Ian Moore. Self diagnosed at 36 because the doctors were clueless.
Started low-carb diet early 2004, felt better but not totally gluten-free. Went 100% gluten-free early 2005 and life has never been better.

#30 KaitiUSA

 
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Posted 26 April 2005 - 06:49 PM

:lol: I guess that would be why she won't tell us! I checked the charts (when sillyak posted that last post) and found one rock band in the single digits. Assuming that's the one... but with no FORMAL confirmation, I can't be sure!! The day after I did that, my son was watching (and rewatching) one of that band's music videos. It was driving me NUTS wondering if that was "THE band"!! I'm too curious. Far... far too curious!

Oh, and then I look at the band members and wonder which one is "the brother"!

If you think u know what band it is research it and see if any of them are getting married soon...that may shed some light.
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Jeremiah 29:11- "For I know the plans that I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for you to prosper and not harm you,plans to give you a hope and future"

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