Jump to content



   arrowShare this page:
   

   Get email alerts  Subscribe to FREE Celiac.com email alerts

 
Ads by Google:
Celiac.com Sponsor:                                    


Photo
- - - - -

Totally Glutened...


  • Please log in to reply
28 replies to this topic

#1 pixiegirl

pixiegirl

    Advanced Community Member

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 756 posts

Posted 29 November 2004 - 03:38 PM

Well, every year I go to thanksgiving at my brother's house. I've only been gluten-free for 6 weeks, well now I'm back to square one. Sigh, its depressing, I was in Florida for 5 days and the nights we ate out I did better then eating at my brothers house.

I know everyone, including myself, is new with this, but I really felt a few times like it was just too much bother for everyone to watch out for me. They would stir a pot with "gluten something or other" in it and then stir my gluten free food. The turkey was stuffed and on Thanksgiving I ate meat from the outside of the bird but after that they tossed it all into one big tupperware thing and there was stuffing that was stuck on some of the turkey mixed in, so I could eat turkey after that.

Everyone kept telling me, "oh its just this one time" or "it can't hurt you on just one trip"... blah blah blah. No matter how many times I told them it never sunk in. At one point, again this is new to me so I was asked a lot of questions about being Celiac... and I told them 1 in about every 133 people have some sort of wheat/gluten intolerance and everyone at the table came down on me. No way, I'm wrong, they have never heard of it. Twice I was told I was a pain in the ass (by the same person). I got the distinct feeling they all thought I was making it up. Most of my life I've been very healthy and yet I was called a hypocondriac a few times. I never get sick, I never read about something and then "get it" I've never been close to being a hypocondriac!! I was really hurt and I'm not that easily offended.

And of course along with all this I've got the runs back and all my stomach problems, I know I was glutened every single day to various degrees. I'm home now and so so glad. Its my family so I'll give them another chance but it won't be for a while, this was waaaaay to much for me to handle.

Sorry for the whine....

Susan :unsure:
  • 0

Celiac.com Sponsor:

#2 darlindeb25

darlindeb25

    Advanced Community Member

  • Banned
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 2,324 posts

Posted 29 November 2004 - 04:42 PM

:( susan---you were doomed when you ate the turkey :( --it cant have stuffing in it at all for us to eat it--we cant eat from the outside even and when you saw them stirring your food with the glutened spoon :angry: , you should not have eaten it either---you arent being rude or anything like that--you are just taking care of you and that is the way it has to be forever and ever--you have to take care of you and you havent ruined weeks of work--you just messed up for a few days and just stay gluten-free and you will get better again--if you are with them all at christmas--you just have to "stick to your guns" and refuse to eat anything containing gluten--this is your lifestyle and they will have to get used to it--feel better :) deb
  • 0
Deb
Long Island, NY

Double DQ1, subtype 6

We urge all doctors to take time to listen to your patients.. don't "isolate" symptoms but look at the whole spectrum. If a patient tells you s/he feels as if s/he's falling apart and "nothing seems to be working properly", chances are s/he's right!

"The calm river of your life approaches the rocky chute of the rapids - flow on through. You are the same water. The rocks cannot hurt you. Remember, now and then, that you are the water and not the boat. Flow on!

#3 dmchr4

dmchr4

    Community Member

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 36 posts

Posted 29 November 2004 - 07:13 PM

I'm really sorry your relatives just don't understand and don't want to listen! That's gotta be so hard.

So maybe in your Christmas letter to your relatives you can include a celiac article from a "reliable" source (since YOU obviously aren't one - according to them anyway).

Here's one: Newsweek article

Here's a list of articles:
list of news articles

Or there was another magazine article that come out in June or July I think that mentioned the 1 in 133 statistic and the average time to diagnosis as 20 years that was in Time or another major magazine like that but I can't find it.

There was also an article in the Reader's Digest this past summer about 10 diseases that doctors miss, and celiac was one of them.

Or maybe you can just have the article on hand next time you see them and if they try to tell you that just a little bit won't hurt you, you can give them the article.

Good luck!
  • 0

#4 tarnalberry

tarnalberry

    Advanced Community Member

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 9,542 posts

Posted 29 November 2004 - 07:26 PM

Don't let yourself be guilt-tripped by the ignorant any longer. Nor physically harmed by them! While even I (who often profess to having fabulous family who may not have heard much of this, but accept it even when it's a pain) felt a bit bad about always checking on the double dipping situation and so forth during Thanksgiving (I did the cooking, I was worried about the pumpkin butter on the bread!), at the end of the day, we need to have the confidence that we've made the right choice for us, regardless of what others think.

We are nitpicky about this because our bodies are giant chemical vats, and chemistry is nitpicky. What anyone else thinks is irrelevant to the choices of what you put in your mouth once you have decided that you are doing the right thing. It's great that you'll be giving your family forgiveness, but I hope we can help give you some steel rods in that spine! ;-) :-D
  • 0
Tiffany aka "Have I Mentioned Chocolate Lately?"
Inconclusive Blood Tests, Positive Dietary Results, No Endoscopy
G.F. - September 2003; C.F. - July 2004
Hiker, Yoga Teacher, Engineer, Painter, Be-er of Me
Bellevue, WA

#5 mommida

mommida

    Advanced Community Member

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 2,893 posts

Posted 29 November 2004 - 07:58 PM

I never thought I would find more patience and understanding from strangers, rather than my own family. My family who should be tested for their own health, will not.
I could complain about them for hours.
This is my body and now I know how to keep myself healthy. No one will put my health at risk. My family is not allowed to touch my food. I will bring my own where ever I go.
Laura
  • 0
Michigan

#6 pixiegirl

pixiegirl

    Advanced Community Member

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 756 posts

Posted 30 November 2004 - 02:55 AM

Thanks everyone for all the replies... Laura if you want to complain I'll be happy to listen, I'm feeling the same way about my family right now, sigh. I'm actually thinking of skipping Thanksgiving next year and doing it here with my daughter.... because in truth if I would have stuck to my guns I'd not have been able to eat virtually anything.

Eating in my family is.... well its how we socialize, it always has been, I know most of your families are probably the same but mine takes it to a different level for sure. Other then Turkey day we ate out every single evening (leftovers were for lunch) and as you all know its hard in restaurants.... no one in my family would even consider going to Outback or PF Changs, I'd guess they have never been in one and they wouldn't go. All meals are eaten in small very nice, very expensive restaurants (however I honestly felt more concern about my condition in the restaurants then at my brothers house), with wine flowing, appitizers, bread, many courses, dessert, coffee, after dinner liquores... food is what we do... we have a number of food reviewers (journalists) in the family.... anyhow, in truth I just don't fit in like I use too.

Any how thanks for the kind words... I can't wait for my symptoms to go away!

Susan
  • 0

#7 dbuhl79

dbuhl79

    Advanced Community Member

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 132 posts

Posted 30 November 2004 - 06:14 AM

Susan,
I just wanted to offer a few words of support! At least you have this forum backing you! :) I know its tough, with a family of "food lovers". Personally I come from a family of bread/carb loving fanatics. We all grew up with a mother who had a loaf of fresh homemade bread in the oven almost every morning! Now that I've expressed to many family members my possible issues with gluten I've heard many respond "Oh I could never live without bread!!" So I know it can be tough getting them to accept your disease.

My other suggestion would be to explain to them how awfully ill it makes you, in significant detail. Not everyone wants to talk to freely about their symptoms or reactions to gluten, but its seemed to work well for my family! :) Once they've heard some of the "gorey" reactions I've had to ingesting it they seem to understand that I'd rather live without that misery and survive without the luxury of bread.

I wish you luck in their ability to grow and understand your situation and what you can and can't have. It can be tough, but the relief you receive should be worth the agony they may put you through in the process of their learning. They can only refuse to understand it for so long.. Its just the time in between may be tough!
Good luck!! :D
  • 0
Positive Dietary Challenge, firmly believing gluten-free is the way to be!
gluten-free since Nov. 18, 2004.

Always learning along with the rest of everyone else... a never ending process.
Dana :)

#8 Guest_imsohungry_*

Guest_imsohungry_*
  • Guests

Posted 30 November 2004 - 10:20 AM

Awww, Susan (((HUG)))

First of all, it is hard. You probably did exactly what I would have done in your situation! Actually, we gathered at my mom's house for thanksgiving for breakfast. She made a huge breakfast and tried to cook me plenty of gluten-free things :) Unfortunately, she made a breakfast "buffet" and placed all the food together like a long salad-bar for our family to serve themselves (there was about 20 of us). Cross-contamination was everywhere!

However, she had tried so hard, that I HAD to eat. (She was so proud of herself for working to make gluten-free food...it was so sweet). So, I ate. (I did explain about the spoon cross-contamination thing for next time). But like you, I know I was glutened (I felt it).

My point is...sometimes you feel you gotta do what you gotta do. I understand your "need" to eat something...even though you knew it was going to make you sick. I just hate it for you that your family was soooo rude (I hope that doesn't offend you)...but they were acting like as*holes to you! :blink:

I'm sending you hugs and hoping the next holiday is better for you. Why not pack a little something in your purse/suitcase as a "stand-by" for the nights that they all go out to eat?

Much hugs. -Julie
  • 0

#9 deedee1022

deedee1022

    New Community Member

  • Members
  • Pip
  • 8 posts

Posted 30 November 2004 - 10:58 AM

I truly feel for you. I've only been gluten-free for 2 weeks, having been diagnosed on 11/11, and I'm already dreading the family visits (of course, when THEY are being high-maintenance for a dozen different reasons, that's different!)

It's great that we have places like this where people understand! I don't know how I'd be starting out on this long journey without it.

we understand
  • 0

#10 pixiegirl

pixiegirl

    Advanced Community Member

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 756 posts

Posted 30 November 2004 - 02:11 PM

Thanks again everyone!! You all made me feel better, I don't know how we all survived before the internet. :P

There were times where my family was a bit rude but I think some of it (not all for sure) was just due to the fact they have never even heard of Celiac before, I guess it all takes some getting use too. But I have told my mom that I'm thinking of doing Thanksgiving at home next year.

Eating other meals at my brothers house won't be as difficult, he is a fabulous chef but at home they often eat very simply, grilled fish, veggies and rice... I will say the nicest person was my brothers girlfriend (of 7 years, girlfriend sounds so insignificant) she was very careful with the other meals and told me all the ingredients of their marinades and such, so that was very nice.

Thanksgiving is such a gluten heavy meal.... Oh well, thanks for your support!!

Susan
  • 0

#11 Peggy33

Peggy33

    New Community Member

  • Members
  • Pip
  • 6 posts

Posted 30 November 2004 - 06:18 PM

;) I totally know how you feel. I was in the kitchen making sure any cross contamination didn't happen and my 76 year old grandma rolled her eyes, like I was being to paranoid or making up my sickness..

Luckily my mom understands and tried very hard during my visit. I have been gluten-free for a couple of months now. Good luck. Something we will have to live with for a very lond time :lol:
  • 0

#12 bklyn

bklyn

    Advanced Community Member

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 146 posts

Posted 01 December 2004 - 06:10 AM

I totally relate to relatives who don't get it. Just yesterday, my husband said to me "I don't think you really have this disease" How about that! He was in the room when the doctor showed me my biopsy! This attitude is because I do not react to gluten. I was totally shocked. I will be going to the Celiac Center at Columbia University so I can positively justify my diet.
  • 0
Kathy C.
Ft.Lauderdale, Fl.

#13 Guest_imsohungry_*

Guest_imsohungry_*
  • Guests

Posted 01 December 2004 - 07:30 AM

I've learned something over the years.

There are two types of insensitive people:

1. Those who are simply uneducated and ignorant to a problem
2. Those who are educated and choose to be rude

The good news is that there is HOPE for those who are uneducated and willing to learn

The bad news is that those who are educated and choose to be rude have made a decision to remain that way.

My point??? Some people/relatives are uneducated about celiac disease and ignorant to the problems and complications that it creates. For those people, we must be patient and educate them to the best of our ability.

Now, some relatives will take this new knowledge and work to incorporate it, others will go through a period of denial, and still others will choose to ignore the issue completely.

I try to remember that, in a way, my relatives are going through the same stages I did when diagnosed. First I was curious and wanted to know more information, then I was a little relieved and scared, then I wanted to cheat "just a little," then I got irritatated that this dang diet is such a pain in the butt, and now...I'm gradually learning to work with it and actually enjoy the learning and the results (feeling better)! B)

I send hugs to you all. -Julie :)
  • 0

#14 dbuhl79

dbuhl79

    Advanced Community Member

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 132 posts

Posted 01 December 2004 - 08:09 AM

Julie,
What a great perspective to take. Thanks for posting that. I think I'll utilize that in my strategy to dealing with relatives and friends regarding my new gluten-free lifestyle. I know I have a few ignorant friends who just won't understand, and well so be it. :)

Thanks!
  • 0
Positive Dietary Challenge, firmly believing gluten-free is the way to be!
gluten-free since Nov. 18, 2004.

Always learning along with the rest of everyone else... a never ending process.
Dana :)

#15 Maggie1956

Maggie1956

    Advanced Community Member

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 104 posts

Posted 01 December 2004 - 11:19 PM

Hi everyone.
Well, I've been gluten-free for just one day, having received the results of my biopsy and blood workd two days ago.[SIZE=7] :( which confirmed why I have had pain and problems since I was a baby. I'm now 48! So, it's a final relief....(well, at least I know now).

With Christmas coming up, there's going to be get-togethers with family and friends. :rolleyes: Some of them are great, and understand about coeliac disease and gluten intolerance. While others we will be having a meal with are totally ignorant, but sweet people. I'm hoping there will be food there which is ok for me. :unsure:

This forum is awesome. :D I've already found a lot of information which is helping me understand celiac disease more, and the diet.
Are there many of you who have an intollerance to rice as well as all the other things? I'm finding it hard to find a breakfast cerial here. I guess I could make myself a baked custard or something else, but I'm often really tired...I also have chronic fatitue :angry: so I usually want something quick and easy first thing in the morning with my cuppa.

Hope I haven't raved on too much. Good luck to you all.

Maggie :)
  • 0
SUNSHINE COAST, QUEENSLAND, AUSTRALIA

Maggie

Working towards wellness.
gluten-free (or trying to be) since December 1st 2004

positive blood test - Oct. 2004
positive biopsy -Nov. 2004


0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users

Celiac.com Sponsors: