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#1 Dasmith

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Posted 22 January 2009 - 04:04 PM

Wow.....I am truly irritated at my mother in law...she invited my husband and myself over to dinner tonight b/c my brother in law, wife, and son are visiting. I asked what we would be having and she said roast, potatoes, etc. I asked if she had put anything like a seasoning packet or something in with the roast, etc. b/c of my celiac's. (I am newly diagnosed as of Jan 9, 09) and was telling her how I feel so much better, and her response was "well doctors will tell you anything to get you to eat healthier, they make up all kinds of syndrome's" OMG....I was stunned...and absolutely said nothing...I didn't know what to say....so I said (after a few minutes of silence) well I guess we will see you later........

Spoke to my hubby right after and vented....he will be talking with her later...I told him to wait until after the family is done visiting...why make them uncomfortable...and if I get sick...I just won't eat there again...I will bring my own food...(I still may do that anyway, probably will) Darn her!

Anyway..thanks for letting me rant....thank goodness for this site.

#2 rinne

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Posted 22 January 2009 - 04:10 PM

Rant away.

My mother-in-law told my husband she didn't think I was sick, just lazy. :lol:

I laugh now but at the time it was not funny.

A family with Celiac disease, two brothers and two sisters.

Lyme Disease, Diagnosis October 19, 2006

May 2006 - December 2008 Gluten and Dairy Free

December 2008, while seeing improvement on the gluten free diet, I did not recover and so in December of 2008 began the SCD and now have hope for recovery.

#3 Julie anne

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Posted 22 January 2009 - 04:11 PM

you should try to explain to her that celiac is a very serious issue. it is becoming more common each year. if not treated a person could die. nothing to joke around with, especially because most seasonings have wheat or some kind of gluten thickener.

#4 Dasmith

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Posted 22 January 2009 - 04:17 PM

Unfortunately...my mother in law...is a stubborn women...and if she thinks "it is in my head" that is probably what I will have to deal with...if it becomes toxic I will not see her anymore...I have had to do this in the past so I will do it again. I just hate that my poor wonderful husband ends up listening to her crap. I would NEVER ask him to abandon his family...but I sure don't have to deal with it. We will see how it goes...I will update tomorrow after tonights dinner...fingers crossed I don't get sick. I am not in the mood...lol

#5 Julie anne

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Posted 22 January 2009 - 04:22 PM

well maybe you should fix dinner then? lol besides i think gluten-free food tastes better. lol hope everything works out for u

#6 ravenwoodglass

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Posted 22 January 2009 - 04:45 PM

I would print out some info on celiac from perhaps the NIH, here's a link to their awareness campaign homepage

http://www.celiac.nih.gov/Default.aspx

in addition I would also eat before I went. If she does not take this seriously you will get sick and it is just not worth it. Perhaps bring a safe salad or a treat from home and sit with the family at the table and enjoy their company. If folks ask why you are not eating all of her yummy and likely poison food explain that you are newly diagnosed and are feeling better and don't want to risk eating at anyones home until they learn how to feed you safely. Look right at her when you say it too.

Courage does not always roar, sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying
"I will try again tommorrow" (Mary Anne Radmacher)

celiac 49 years - Misdiagnosed for 45
Blood tested and repeatedly negative
Diagnosed by Allergist with elimination diet and diagnosis confirmed by GI in 2002
Misdiagnoses for 15 years were IBS-D, ataxia, migraines, anxiety, depression, fibromyalgia, parathesias, arthritis, livedo reticularis, hairloss, premature menopause, osteoporosis, kidney damage, diverticulosis, prediabetes and ulcers, dermatitis herpeformis
All bold resoved or went into remission with proper diagnosis of Celiac November 2002
Some residual nerve damage remains as of 2006- this has continued to resolve after eliminating soy in 2007

Mother died of celiac related cancer at 56
Twin brother died as a result of autoimmune liver destruction at age 15

Children 2 with Ulcers, GERD, Depression, , 1 with DH, 1 with severe growth stunting (male adult 5 feet)both finally diagnosed Celiac through blood testing and 1 with endo 6 months after Mom

Positive to Soy and Casien also Aug 2007

Gluten Sensitivity Gene Test Aug 2007
HLA-DQB1 Molecular analysis, Allele 1 0303

HLA-DQB1 Molecular analysis, Allele 2 0303

Serologic equivalent: HLA-DQ 3,3 (Subtype 9,9)

#7 Dasmith

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Posted 22 January 2009 - 05:33 PM

Raven...I think you should come to dinner with me

LOL I am a pretty outspoken person...but for some reason this is a touchy thing for me...probably all the years of "it is all in your head". It has made me timid (which is a word that would never be associated to me until now). It is weird. I will get there....and I am gonna take some snacks with me...if nothing looks gluten free...I will not eat it. I am one of the lucky ones that has D....severely. I have spent many moments on the side of the road....lol (my poor husband).....lol, and it is not worth that again....having "normal" bowel movements these last few weeks has been amazing...and I won't be visiting that upon myself puposely again.

Thank you to all of you....you have all made me smile....

#8 ravenwoodglass

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Posted 22 January 2009 - 06:22 PM

Dasmith, on Jan 22 2009, 06:33 PM, said:

Raven...I think you should come to dinner with me

Sometimes it is not our diagnosis but our recovery that makes a believer out of folks. That was how it worked with my family. I hope you have a good visit with your brother in law and the rest of the family.

#9 mallard

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Posted 23 January 2009 - 06:27 AM

So glad I am not alone!! My mother in law is the same way! She will sneak stuff into the food just so I can't eat it. I have had this disease for 11 years and have been with my husband for 8 years, so she has no excuse. We don't go over there for dinner anymore, they come to my house. Both my husband and I have tried to talk to her about it, but she starts crying and turns it around, so I don't even bother with it anymore. She will even go out of her way to mention that she made my favorite dessert-strawberry shortcake, and I will say but you know I can't eat that and she responds with oh that's right I forgot!!!

Good luck to you!! You are not alone!!

#10 Dasmith

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Posted 23 January 2009 - 12:36 PM

mallard, on Jan 23 2009, 06:27 AM, said:

Dinner actually went okay...I brought some of my own items and was able to eat the green salad and roast as she didn't use any seasoning other than salt/pepper. My sister in law and my brother in laws girlfriend we very supportive though...asked questions, etc. and were very receptive. My mother in law just sat there with her lips pursed...lol Oh well....we can't fix everyone.

Again...thanks to all of your responses....it makes this transition much easier.

#11 mastiffmommy

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Posted 24 January 2009 - 06:01 PM

Oy! Why are people so....aghghg! annoying! While going through the saga of medical issues before you get the diagnosis I also love the "hypochondriac" label. That one is fun. AGHGHG. I do karate. It helps.

#12 Amyleigh0007

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Posted 24 January 2009 - 06:55 PM

Wow! My MIL needs to get in touch with your MIL and have a crab party. We had Christmas Eve dinner at my house (totally gluten free home) and she insisted on making gluten filled mac and cheese for my niece and nephews. She wanted to use all of my cookware. When I told her that she would need to bring her own pots and pans and colander and spoons she acted like I was insane. She ended up doing it but she grumbled the entire time. I tried to be patient and explain my reasoning but she thought I was being paranoid. I had been married for almost 10 years and I am to the point were I could care less what she thinks of me. :rolleyes:

Amy

1989: I am diagnosed with IBS.
3/08: 8-year-old son diagnosed with Celiac (blood test and biopsy) and allergies to corn, egg whites, soy, peanuts, walnuts, wheat, and clam.
6/08: My Celiac test is negative.
7/08: I go completely gluten free despite negative test and NO MORE IBS SYMPTOMS!!
7/09: My Enterolab gluten sensitivity gene testing results indicate I have one Celiac gene and one gluten sensitivity gene.
8/09: I am diagnosed with Celiac based on gene testing results and positive response to diet.

#13 MollyBeth

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Posted 25 January 2009 - 01:24 AM

Amyleigh0007, on Jan 24 2009, 09:55 PM, said:

she insisted on making gluten filled mac and cheese for my niece and nephews.

That's so ridiculous!!! People hear gluten free and they think it's going to taste horrible and so drastically different or something... I have made gluten free mac and cheese a couple times since switching with brown rice noodles and I can't even taste the difference! Sometimes I just want to yell, "unwrinkle your nose, sit down, shut up, and try it! you're acting like a three year old that won't eat their vegetables!"

Gluten Free 10/11/08
Negative Blood test 08/08
Positive Biopsy 10/08
No family members diagnosed...but Symtoms seem to be the same.
Father- Diverticulitis
Paternal Grandmother Died from Colon Cancer when she was 38.

If you're going through hell, keep going.
-Winston Churchill

#14 debmidge

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Posted 25 January 2009 - 04:31 AM

Dasmith, on Jan 22 2009, 08:33 PM, said:

Raven...I think you should come to dinner with me

Dear Dasmith: How old of a woman is your mother in law? Is she stubborn about this because of her generation? or is she like this on other topics? My mother in law is old enough to be my grandmother and when we told her about her son's celiac diagnosis her response was that she could kill it on high heat in the over (i.e., pretty much burn the food to serve it to him). We let her know that high heat wouldn't work.

Husband has Celiac Disease and
Husband misdiagnosed for 27 yrs -
The misdiagnosis was: IBS or colitis
Mis-diagnosed from 1977 to 2003 by various gastros including one of the largest,
most prestigious medical groups in northern NJ which constantly advertises themselves as
being the "best." This GI told him it was "all in his head."
Serious Depressive state ensued
Finally Diagnosed with celiac disease in 2003
Other food sensitivities: almost all fruits, vegetables, spices, eggs, nuts, yeast, fried foods, roughage, soy.
Needs to gain back at least 25 lbs. of the 40 lbs pounds he lost - lost a great amout of body fat and muscle
Developed neuropathy in 2005
Now has lymphadema 2006It is my opinion that his subsequent disorders could have been avoided had he been diagnosed sooner by any of the dozen or so doctors he saw between 1977 to 2003

#15 Glutenfreewarrior

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Posted 26 January 2009 - 11:09 AM

Tired of hearing about spouses and parents that don't believe /support the Celiac diagnosis or treatment. People will shave their heads in support for friends or family having chemotherapy but giving up beer and pizza etc is a great inconvience for relatives of those with Celiacs. Celiac Disease is a disease of inconveince. People will complain being gluten free is too expensive but won't give up $50 a week in cigarettes or alcohol or weekly movie nights,sports tickets.... Even for their children. Its sad. Most people can afford junk food,daily coffee out but simple foods like rice, veggies chicken are too expensive? Do what we did cut out the extras on cable,save $25 a month by getting rid of caller ID,call-waiting ... Just the cable downgrade and phone extras cut our bills all most $100. Trade in the luxury car,take a couple years without a vacation away.Get back to basics. Imagine taking time to cook instead of microwaving or take out. Actually make time to prepare dinner and eat it together not an original idea but often forgotten. Whether its the person diagnosed or people in thier lives Celiacs Disease is also one of excuses. When a child's health is not valued above everything else that is inexcuseable.