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Irritated


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#16 Dasmith

 
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Posted 26 January 2009 - 11:40 AM

Well...I have to say families in general can be pretty frustrating...but when it comes to my health I will write those off that don't support or try to help. My husband is fabulous...and he sees such a difference in my appearance ( I am not gray looking anymore), I feel good, I have energy, etc. I think he would fight anyone that questions my illness. I am blessed with a wonderful man. He is actually trying all the foods I am eating and he likes a lot of them so we will be a pretty gluten free house soon.

My mother in law is about mid 60's (not sure exactly, but I think 64). She has had issues with me always....so I am really not surprised at her response...I was just shocked at the moment.

On a different note....I accidentally glutened myself on Friday (using the same toaster as the household). I didn't know how sensative I was...I sure do now....36 hours of straight "living in the bathroom" UGH....won't do that again...that is for sure.. LOL

Again...thank you to everyone....it is nice having such a wonderful support system and an outlet for our frustrations as we all deal with this disease.
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#17 jsites

 
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Posted 29 January 2009 - 06:29 AM

Wow, that stinks! Why are MIL's the worst? I've got the opposite problem, but still with the MIL. My husband is the one with Celiac. My family goes above and beyond to cook correctly for him and always makes sure that there is plenty available for him to eat that hasn't had any contamination. They've asked for lists from me and still usually call before the get together and ask about menu items and ingredients. My sisters even double check ingredients with me before going to the effort of making gluten-free crusts for pies, gluten-free desserts, etc when we potluck.

His mom however. Sheesh. She tried to cook him roast in bouillon that had wheat plainly written on the package. Then she wanted to rinse it off and have him still eat it. So, being the first time, I explained to her that it wouldn't work and where to look on the pkg. Fast forward to a few weeks ago. She brought over food that she "carefully picked out". Yeah, the pre-cooked chicken said wheat in big letters, the twice baked potatoes clearly said wheat or made on machinery with wheat, etc. You get the idea. So apparently her idea of careful is assuming things like chicken and potatoes won't have wheat. Nevermind other gluten sources, we can't even get her to read the word WHEAT in bold. She wanted him to eat the chicken w/out the skin? Yeah, right.

I'm glad your BIL/SIL were interested in learning more about it and gave you a good opportunity to discuss it in front of your MIL!!
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#18 MonKol

 
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Posted 10 September 2009 - 06:53 PM

Tired of hearing about spouses and parents that don't believe /support the Celiac diagnosis or treatment. People will shave their heads in support for friends or family having chemotherapy but giving up beer and pizza etc is a great inconvience for relatives of those with Celiacs. Celiac Disease is a disease of inconveince. People will complain being gluten free is too expensive but won't give up $50 a week in cigarettes or alcohol or weekly movie nights,sports tickets.... Even for their children. Its sad. Most people can afford junk food,daily coffee out but simple foods like rice, veggies chicken are too expensive? Do what we did cut out the extras on cable,save $25 a month by getting rid of caller ID,call-waiting ... Just the cable downgrade and phone extras cut our bills all most $100. Trade in the luxury car,take a couple years without a vacation away.Get back to basics. Imagine taking time to cook instead of microwaving or take out. Actually make time to prepare dinner and eat it together not an original idea but often forgotten. Whether its the person diagnosed or people in thier lives Celiacs Disease is also one of excuses. When a child's health is not valued above everything else that is inexcuseable.



AWESOME!!!!! GLUETENFREEWARRIOR is our hero. I know its a late reply we just registered but I think you bout said it all here. Its a dismal place when we read about all the "inconvenience" people have to go through to ensure members of their own family don't become horribly ill. woe is me!! Gotta have that direct tv honey! Can't get rid of 9,0000 channels on the LCD TV or that Louis Vuitton bag and shoes. Besides what would the neighbors say if they found out we didnt eat Wheat? We would be embarrassed!!
Gluten is a status symbol LOL!!
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#19 Ahorsesoul

 
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Posted 12 September 2009 - 02:11 PM

So true, we aren't doing a gluten free diet because we enjoy the challenge.

My list of heros because of their honest and up front posts:
MonKol
Glutenfreewarrior
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1960s-had symptoms-could have been before but don't remember
1970s-told had colitis or nervous stomach-was given phenobarbital, felt great but still had symptoms
Me, dd and ds diagnosed with Lactose Intolerance
2000-osteopenia
2001-had stroke because of medications I was given
June 2003-saw Chiropractor who specialized in nutrition: Celiac Disease not Lactose Intolerance, went gluten free with once in awhile cheating, off soy and dairy for about 6 months
June 2003-found excellent doctor for fibromyalgia (who has found out she has Celiac Disease)
May 2006-went gluten free with NO cheating-excellent! Made all the difference in the world

#20 TEaglefeather

 
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Posted 12 September 2009 - 02:32 PM

I am new to the site, and was just reading this post and the replies and just saw something from someone else....

Does celiac make you very weak ? Because my husband suffers with weakness so much and he was such an energetic man and in the past couple of months it is taking everything he has just to get out of bed in the morning, he has to lie down to take naps through out the day and he takes all kinds of vitamins and energy drinks that if I took what he takes I would have a heart attack, and it still hardly even helps him ....
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#21 Shess0816

 
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Posted 16 September 2009 - 11:06 AM

I am new to the site, and was just reading this post and the replies and just saw something from someone else....

Does celiac make you very weak ? Because my husband suffers with weakness so much and he was such an energetic man and in the past couple of months it is taking everything he has just to get out of bed in the morning, he has to lie down to take naps through out the day and he takes all kinds of vitamins and energy drinks that if I took what he takes I would have a heart attack, and it still hardly even helps him ....



Hello! I don't know when your husband was diagnosed, but probably for the first two months after my diagnosis, I was EXHAUSTED every day. I am a big runner -- I love running 4-5 miles a day probably 5 or 6 days a week and following my diagnosis, I had a hard time getting the energy to even walk a mile. I think it had something to do with my body trying to transition from one diet to another and figuring out the right calorie content and vitamins and all that stuff! I was diagnosed in March 2009 and now, in September, I am finally starting to feel energetic and good again! I definitely still have my tired days, and I do take a short nap almost every day, but I feel a ton better now! I think with me it was about getting all the bad stuff out of my system and getting used to a completely new way of eating!
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#22 ang1e0251

 
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Posted 16 September 2009 - 12:26 PM

I kind of get the feeling sometime that people think we do this for attention or to be different. If they just thought it through, who would choose to eat or live this way? I would choose something easier if I wanted attention, like weird colored clothing or shave my pet so people would look. Really, you think worrying about every bite that goes to your mouth or taking your food to restaurants is fun?

I just don't get why they can't accept the premise that what we say is wrong really is wrong. I've always said that if someone can't see a cast on your arm, they don't believe you're ill.
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#23 Gemini

 
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Posted 16 September 2009 - 02:22 PM

Tired of hearing about spouses and parents that don't believe /support the Celiac diagnosis or treatment. People will shave their heads in support for friends or family having chemotherapy but giving up beer and pizza etc is a great inconvience for relatives of those with Celiacs. Celiac Disease is a disease of inconveince. People will complain being gluten free is too expensive but won't give up $50 a week in cigarettes or alcohol or weekly movie nights,sports tickets.... Even for their children. Its sad. Most people can afford junk food,daily coffee out but simple foods like rice, veggies chicken are too expensive? Do what we did cut out the extras on cable,save $25 a month by getting rid of caller ID,call-waiting ... Just the cable downgrade and phone extras cut our bills all most $100. Trade in the luxury car,take a couple years without a vacation away.Get back to basics. Imagine taking time to cook instead of microwaving or take out. Actually make time to prepare dinner and eat it together not an original idea but often forgotten. Whether its the person diagnosed or people in thier lives Celiacs Disease is also one of excuses. When a child's health is not valued above everything else that is inexcuseable.


You make some excellent points here but I think why people react the way they do to Celiacs and their diet is because many are so emotionally attached to the food they eat, they just cannot fathom giving any of it up. That makes being supportive difficult because it makes them have to face their own bad eating habits.
Ask anyone who eats a bad diet and they will tell you they eat a decent one! :lol: Food is the BIGGEST emotional attachment of all, above butts, booze and, sometimes, drugs.

My solution to those pesky mothers-in-law or other relatives who continually say stupid things is to buy them Dr. Peter Green's book entitled: Celiac Disease:
The Hidden Epidemic. It makes a good Christmas/Chanukah gift and puts them on the spot to read it and actually LEARN something. ;)
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#24 mndtrp

 
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Posted 16 September 2009 - 03:49 PM

People are resistant to change, especially negative change. For the non-Celiac, changing food is a negative change. Even if it does benefit the Celiac, and by proxy the entire household. When I was first informed of my fiancee's situation, I wasn't happy. I was resistant to the change, but figured out pretty quickly that assisting would be the better choice. Some people will never change. My great aunt has respiratory problems, is on oxygen, but won't quit smoking. Family members who don't have to see the continual effects of eating gluten probably won't understand. Some people will go along with it out of empathy, and the desire to do the right thing, others won't be so helpful.

There are some incredible generalizations about people who aren't empathetic with the diseased. Not everyone who doesn't help out is so full of themselves and their possessions. Some people don't live in locations with an abundance of alternatives. Some people do have such a low income that they aren't able to afford the more expensive products, especially when cooking for a large group of people. When 6 tortillas cost $5, things get expensive quickly. There are ways around this, such as the Celiac bringing and cooking their own food. However, assuming that everyone who isn't helping is buying expensive products in other areas is an awful outlook.

Driving is polluting the air we breathe every day. Are all of you complaining about people and their inconveniences giving up your car? Or are you making the choice that the benefits outweigh the negatives? Why is there so much anger for people who don't change? It's not their disease, why should they be burdened? I grasp the fact that you are guests in their house, and they should help accommodate, but maybe the Celiac should take care of it themselves. I don't eat scavengers. I don't expect the people I visit to change their ways, and many haven't. If they are serving what I don't eat, I eat a salad and either go somewhere else or bring something. I don't hate them, or assume that they are dumping their money into something else and aren't able to change for me. I let them live their life, and then go back to my house where we don't eat such things.

If these are the heroes here, I'm scared to see what the rest of the people are like.
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#25 Gemini

 
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Posted 24 September 2009 - 09:20 AM

People are resistant to change, especially negative change. For the non-Celiac, changing food is a negative change. Even if it does benefit the Celiac, and by proxy the entire household. When I was first informed of my fiancee's situation, I wasn't happy. I was resistant to the change, but figured out pretty quickly that assisting would be the better choice. Some people will never change. My great aunt has respiratory problems, is on oxygen, but won't quit smoking. Family members who don't have to see the continual effects of eating gluten probably won't understand. Some people will go along with it out of empathy, and the desire to do the right thing, others won't be so helpful.

There are some incredible generalizations about people who aren't empathetic with the diseased. Not everyone who doesn't help out is so full of themselves and their possessions. Some people don't live in locations with an abundance of alternatives. Some people do have such a low income that they aren't able to afford the more expensive products, especially when cooking for a large group of people. When 6 tortillas cost $5, things get expensive quickly. There are ways around this, such as the Celiac bringing and cooking their own food. However, assuming that everyone who isn't helping is buying expensive products in other areas is an awful outlook.

Driving is polluting the air we breathe every day. Are all of you complaining about people and their inconveniences giving up your car? Or are you making the choice that the benefits outweigh the negatives? Why is there so much anger for people who don't change? It's not their disease, why should they be burdened? I grasp the fact that you are guests in their house, and they should help accommodate, but maybe the Celiac should take care of it themselves. I don't eat scavengers. I don't expect the people I visit to change their ways, and many haven't. If they are serving what I don't eat, I eat a salad and either go somewhere else or bring something. I don't hate them, or assume that they are dumping their money into something else and aren't able to change for me. I let them live their life, and then go back to my house where we don't eat such things.

If these are the heroes here, I'm scared to see what the rest of the people are like.


I don't think there is hatred for people who refuse to change in small ways or to help, on occasion, when a Celiac comes to visit. I think you are generalizing on that one yourself. From my own experience, and I am an emotionally tough person to begin with, it is extremely hurtful when family members treat you like a second class citizen because you cannot eat gluten. Why would I take the time to visit family members when they never make any kind of an effort to accommodate their daughter, sister, etc. I have actually had family members contaminate my food (on purpose) and eat the gluten free stuff I always bring, which leaves me with nothing to eat. The only reason I can think of as to why someone would behave like this is they resent me because I have the will power to follow my diet and completely turn my health around. None of them have done so and yet complain of all their health woes which, coincidentally, mirror mine in full blown Celiac. OK....that's fine and I can let that one go but why all the resentment towards me because I do what I am supposed to do and act positive about the whole thing? It's immature and stupid behavior.

I have friends who make sure when they invite me to dinner that there is good food for me to eat. You are correct, some people do an outstanding job and really care and others behave like dopes. It is a somewhat selfish attitude, especially coming from family members. If you cannot rely on your own flesh and blood for support, it can be very depressing. When I have people over to my home, I always make sure if there is a dietary restriction, it is accommodated with a smile of support on my face and that doesn't have to cost a lot of money. No one here is asking the world to change for Celiacs but stupid and ignorant remarks, made by family members who may very likely have the disease themselves, are uncalled for and deserve the dope slap they may receive in return.
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#26 ang1e0251

 
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Posted 24 September 2009 - 09:58 AM

Uncouth, low class behaviour is never acceptable.
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#27 MightbeCeliac's

 
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Posted 24 September 2009 - 11:47 AM

People are resistant to change, especially negative change. For the non-Celiac, changing food is a negative change. Even if it does benefit the Celiac, and by proxy the entire household. When I was first informed of my fiancee's situation, I wasn't happy. I was resistant to the change, but figured out pretty quickly that assisting would be the better choice. Some people will never change. My great aunt has respiratory problems, is on oxygen, but won't quit smoking. Family members who don't have to see the continual effects of eating gluten probably won't understand. Some people will go along with it out of empathy, and the desire to do the right thing, others won't be so helpful.

There are some incredible generalizations about people who aren't empathetic with the diseased. Not everyone who doesn't help out is so full of themselves and their possessions. Some people don't live in locations with an abundance of alternatives. Some people do have such a low income that they aren't able to afford the more expensive products, especially when cooking for a large group of people. When 6 tortillas cost $5, things get expensive quickly. There are ways around this, such as the Celiac bringing and cooking their own food. However, assuming that everyone who isn't helping is buying expensive products in other areas is an awful outlook.

Driving is polluting the air we breathe every day. Are all of you complaining about people and their inconveniences giving up your car? Or are you making the choice that the benefits outweigh the negatives? Why is there so much anger for people who don't change? It's not their disease, why should they be burdened? I grasp the fact that you are guests in their house, and they should help accommodate, but maybe the Celiac should take care of it themselves. I don't eat scavengers. I don't expect the people I visit to change their ways, and many haven't. If they are serving what I don't eat, I eat a salad and either go somewhere else or bring something. I don't hate them, or assume that they are dumping their money into something else and aren't able to change for me. I let them live their life, and then go back to my house where we don't eat such things.

If these are the heroes here, I'm scared to see what the rest of the people are like.


Wow I wonder how long your marriage is gonna last? Did you even bother read to what other posted? No said they hated anyone, people said they were irritated or frustrated with family and in-laws behavior. None of posters stated that they wanted any further accomodation then what you suggested. Only respect for their differences and needs. To not be told that food is gluten free when it isn't, to not be told that they are hypocondriacts, and for people to accept their choices withy grace. That is not too much to ask.

I think your projecting your own shortcomings onto people that you identify with (the non-Celiacs) without thinking about whether they are right or wrong. While whatever anger you have about your fiance's situation is being projected onto us without thinking about whether we are right or wrong or just how much of a challenge this is.

I hope that you really work out this anger you're having about the situation because right now you're gonna make a terrible spouse to an unhealthy person...
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#28 mndtrp

 
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Posted 24 November 2009 - 09:20 PM

Wow I wonder how long your marriage is gonna last? Did you even bother read to what other posted? No said they hated anyone, people said they were irritated or frustrated with family and in-laws behavior. None of posters stated that they wanted any further accomodation then what you suggested. Only respect for their differences and needs. To not be told that food is gluten free when it isn't, to not be told that they are hypocondriacts, and for people to accept their choices withy grace. That is not too much to ask.

I think your projecting your own shortcomings onto people that you identify with (the non-Celiacs) without thinking about whether they are right or wrong. While whatever anger you have about your fiance's situation is being projected onto us without thinking about whether we are right or wrong or just how much of a challenge this is.

I hope that you really work out this anger you're having about the situation because right now you're gonna make a terrible spouse to an unhealthy person...

Why would I make a terrible spouse? Is it because we've removed the products containing gluten from our house? Is it because I do the legwork to find restaurants that she can eat at? Or, maybe, it's because I spent the time composing a large email with links to inform her and my family of the situation.

What shortcomings do I have? I said I was initially resistant, but quickly realized the benefit. I don't have any anger over the situation we are in. It isn't ideal, but that's life.

I guess it's unfortunate you all have such crappy friends and family, but don't go telling me I'm going to make a terrible husband.

This site seems to be helpful for a lot of people, but you have done an excellent job of making me feel unwelcome. Thank you for that.
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#29 buffettbride

 
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Posted 25 November 2009 - 10:52 AM

We only have one family member who really doesn't "get" the whole gluten-free thing. My SMIL has to ask every time if she'll ever grow out of it and can't believe that "just a little" will hurt her. She plays along, but I can tell she just doesn't buy it, especially since my husband a non-Celiac gluten intolerant avoids gluten in addition to my DD12 who has diagnosed Celiac (they are not genetically father/daughter).

What bothers me more, though, is a local news station that has done two blips on seeing more gluten-free products in the stores, but it has been approached more as the gluten-free diet as a fad with only a small mention of Celiac. It's SO frustrating because people think that gluten-free IS a fad diet and not a true medical treatment. There are more and more gluten-free foods in stores because people with gluten intolerance/celiac simply want to have a wider array of food options in their lives and achieve some sort of normalcy with their peers.

Remember the days of staring down a whole aisle of cookies and crackers, indiscriminately choosing which ones were the yummiest versus today where you're relgated to a small section at the end of the aisle for "special" and "natural" foods?

For the love of God it peeves me off!
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#30 carsondcat

 
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Posted 25 November 2009 - 03:04 PM

Why would I make a terrible spouse? Is it because we've removed the products containing gluten from our house? Is it because I do the legwork to find restaurants that she can eat at? Or, maybe, it's because I spent the time composing a large email with links to inform her and my family of the situation.

What shortcomings do I have? I said I was initially resistant, but quickly realized the benefit. I don't have any anger over the situation we are in. It isn't ideal, but that's life.

I guess it's unfortunate you all have such crappy friends and family, but don't go telling me I'm going to make a terrible husband.

This site seems to be helpful for a lot of people, but you have done an excellent job of making me feel unwelcome. Thank you for that.


I either just eat salad bring a gluten-free plate that everyone including myself can eat, or just bring my own to eat seperately. All i need to know first is wether i can eat somewhere or not. It's not a big deal and the people who usually have problems with it are the people either newly diagnosed where it seems overwhelming, or where it's their nature to be just plain plain pig headed. If I'm somewhere where someone is smoking I move away, but in my home they would be asked to go outside to smoke as i am a non-smoker. Boss in my domain but no-where else! Try not be offended by what others write we're all individuals and as such can have our own opinions. Don't be put off, this is a good site and you will get lots of good information and support here... Unless I'm having a bad day :o
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Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, not even if i said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense....... Buddha

Minds are like parachutes, they only function when open..... Thomas Dewar

If you want to be someone ... be yourself...




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