[hermitgirl]

I am just wondering, as I am still fairly new to the Celiac lifestyle, (diagnosed in Sept)if anyone has had experience with the whole dating thing. I am single, would like to start dating again, but am feeling like this is really going to cause havoc even trying to meet someone. I am a member of the local support group, but I seem to be the only one who isn't a teenager or a grandparent. I am in my 30's and am kind of feeling like I am the only one in my age bracket (I know I am not, it just feels like it)l.... Any ideas? Much appreciated.

[MySuicidalTurtle]

I dated a few guys after being diagnosed. It wasn't such a big deal since the guys I was with were caring. If they hadn't been, it wouldn't have gone much further. Just be prepared with a few places to eat so you don't have to end up with no where to go. Good luck and have fun!

[caek_is_a_lie]

Well, I'm in your age bracket, but I was already with my life parter when I started eating gluten-free. However, I had my neurological problems before I met him, so what I can tell you is this. And trust me because I've been in some baaaad relationships in the past.

If you start dating and they aren't accepting and tolerant of your needs and won't eat at places that will accommodate you, then dump their sorry butt like a rotten turkey.

You need to be picky and find someone who is accepting of your condition but sees past it and likes you for you no matter what you can or can't eat. Celiac should be a non-issue. Otherwise you will be miserable. Now, most people might put up with it at first, but you have to find that person that won't think twice about it every single time.

That happens if you're honest and up-front about it right from the beginning and let them know exactly what you need. Don't apologize for anything. This is just how you are. Let them know they can take it or leave it. That's what I did and it turned out amazingly well.

[MELINE]

I really don't see the problem. You just have to explain that you cannot eat everything and that sometimes you may feel sick if you get glutened ( and that shouldn't be more than 10 times / year.)

How difficult is that? is that a disability? You are not a sick disabled person. You just can't eat gluten!!!!! Don't think you are ill or something.

You said you are 30 years old.Me too. I don't know many 30 year old people who don't have their own needs. Someone maybe allergic to dust, or another may be on a diet to lose weight, or someone else may be a vegetarian. My boyfriend is trying to quit smoking, so we are not going in parties now just to keep him away from temptation. And you are not eating gluten. So what?????????

I am sorry if I sound like I am yelling at you, but it is really wierd to see that you are afraid you are going to have a problem with dating. Don't make things hard ,cause they just aren't. You are a totally normal person who has some needs, like everyone has.

Please don't be offended. But I am not going to tell you things like "yes I understand your problem" cause there is no problem.

People will treat you like an ill disabled person, only if you keep on having these thoughts. For god's sake, there is nothing wrong with you!!!!! go on live a totally normal life,just don't eat gluten!!!!!!!!!!!


Meline

[hermitgirl]

Ok so maybe my post sounded a wee bit whiney. Not quite what I was aiming for, but now rereading it and ouch. I do deserve to get yelled at for that one. More than anything I was just wanting to find out what kind of experiences people have been having. I am still pretty new at the whole thing and do have my moments.

[MELINE]

Now you are talking!!!


So lets see ...experiences....well It is a way to check your new boyfriend!

one experience that I had was totally great. he was really trying to make things easy for me, (i met him when i first found out). He would go and buy gluten-free snacks for me, just to surprise me on a date, or he would search the net just to find facts for the disease. He was really very romantic. He was always asking me if I am ok when we were together and he was eating something non gluten free (he was feeling guilty !! he thought I was jealous)

so I think it is a way to see some things about your date's character!!

My new boyfriend is not so romantic, but he is treating me like I am a totally normal person.I like the fact that he never told me that he feels sorry for me I also like that he is always very careful not to gluten me by accident and he is happy for me that I am feeling ok. He says that he wishes he had the same thing, since I follow a really healthy diet and he just doesn't have the strength to do that. And he is very proud of me that I am living my life in a total happiness and I am not feeling like something is wrong with me. .


So, people may react in a different way. Or in a way that you don't like. But it is very important how YOU will present the facts. If you start venting all the time about it (I am not saying that you are doing that) they will treat you as someone who has a big problem.

Isn't it better for example if you could say "Hey, you know I would like to let you know some facts about my diet, just to make sure that I don't get a cross contamination. Also we can go to good restaurants that will help me with that. ", then they will treat you like a healthy woman who is taking care of her special diet. Nothing more, nothing less.


Feel special. You are now taking care of your health more than your friends. You learn to read labels, you are strong enough to say no to many temptations, you are listening to your body, you are in control of your celiac. you eat extremely healthier than most of the people you know. Feel proud and never let anyone tell you that they feel sorry for you.


The whole thing depends on you. Be proud and be happy. Focus on the good news! You finally know what was wrong with you and now you will be healthier every day that goes by! Isn't that great?


Just to let you know something else. I am on a candida diet too. If you google candida diet, you will not believe how hard this is. I am taking tones of supplements, I am eating only meat and salads, I am carrying a water filter in my bag all the time, I am having dying off symptoms with nausea and vomiting and D and I never see my self as ill. So, no one else will see me that way. People will see in you the way you see yourself.


And just to make things clear. I am not saying that I am perfect. I am having my moments with less important things, that if you knew them you would say I am a fool. BUT, for some reason I never had my moments with celiac or candida, so since I can manage at least that I am trying to help as much as I can.

I am sure you will do perfect. I really mean that. I never wanted to make you feel bad, on the contrary I wish I could send you a big smile and tell you that EVERYTHING WILL BE JUST FINE!!!

Have a great day

Meline

[spicenator3000]

Hey, I'm single in my mid 20's and dating non celiacs and doing alright. The date and I usually go to the grocery store and pick out somthing to make back at either persons apartment ONLY afte we both feel comfortable enough to invit the other over without feeling our boundaries would be disrespected. That's definantly not on the first date. Activities like ice skating, movies, walking, going to events in town, the zoo, hiking, blah blah blah is usually the beginning dates. But I definantly stick to my GLUTEN FREE LACTOSE GUNS! I don't budge, I just suggest my ideas in a better light like....I can make a pretty mean spaghetti sauce or chip dip with all natural ingredients just in a blender or frying pan. Not a poblem.
And that's how it goes from there.

Hope this sounds helpful to some. Any Arizonians out there??? Phoenix area? Any Christians (most importantly) out there???

hermitgirl, on Jan 22 2009, 07:05 PM, said:

I am just wondering, as I am still fairly new to the Celiac lifestyle, (diagnosed in Sept)if anyone has had experience with the whole dating thing. I am single, would like to start dating again, but am feeling like this is really going to cause havoc even trying to meet someone. I am a member of the local support group, but I seem to be the only one who isn't a teenager or a grandparent. I am in my 30's and am kind of feeling like I am the only one in my age bracket (I know I am not, it just feels like it)l.... Any ideas? Much appreciated.

[jenrn]

I am in my late twenties and have dated two guys since going gluten free. The first guy had never heard of gluten but he was great about making sure we went out to places where I could eat. He even bought gluten free pasta and cooked for me and baked me gluten free cookies once with my guidance about how not to contaminate them!

My current boyfriend is also great about me being gluten free. He actually has multiple food allergies but he can eat gluten. Feeding the two of us is a challenge! But since he has his own food allergies he and his family are very understanding of my food restrictions.

[spanish-road]

Its best to find places you can go and so that its not awkward ordering food, a few of the dates I have been on went well but most of them didn't understand. That is right on confidence in your lifestyle and don't think or say I wish I didn't have this, heck I'm happy that I'm one of the few.

I don't date much but I do want to date a celiac and that would mean no more accidental poisonings for the time being!

[hermitgirl]

There is a site for people living a gluten free lifestyle, glutenfreedate, but unforunately not very many people seem to be on it. It is free, looks to have potential. I have seen posts on here from a while back about the site.

[spanish-road]

well one has a 1 in 133 chance thats some good odds to bet on.

[codetalker]

spanish-road, on Feb 8 2009, 02:04 AM, said:

well one has a 1 in 133 chance thats some good odds to bet on.

So, 1 in 133 sounds good? Let’s crunch some numbers:

Most posters seem to be from the U.S. Not to slight our international brethren but let’s start there. U.S. population has.topped 300,000,000.

Unless a person is bi, they will be interested in dating one gender or the other. So divide by 2.

300,000,000 / 2 = 150,000,000

Most people date within an age range. I could not find stats for U.S. population by age. So let’s recklessly assume an even distribution from age 1 to 100. Further, assume someone will date within a 10 year age range. That could mean dating someone up to 5 yrs older or younger or dating only those up to 10 years younger or dating only those up to 10 years older. Regardless, 10% of the people above would be in the 10 year range. Divide by 10.

150,000,000 / 10 = 15,000,000

If 1 in 133 people are celiacs and if a person is looking a date another celiac, then divide by 133.

15,000,000 / 133 = 112,782

Despite the advantages of the Internet, people are still most likely to date locals. So, let’s assume (admittedly incorrectly) an even population distribution by state. Further, assume that people will most likely meet and then date someone from their own state or perhaps from one of the surrounding four states. 5 states = 10% of the states = 10% of the above number. Divide by 10.

112,782 / 10 = 11,278

Unless a person is into adultery or breaking up existing relationships, then the status of a potential dating prospect must be considered. Since none of this is scientific, let’s assume (somewhat reasonably) that at least 50% of prospects are married, in a committed relationship, separated, going through a divorce, prefer living single or are otherwise unavailable. Divide by 2.

11,278 / 2 = 5,639

For those who are younger, 5,639 is not all that bad. After all, they most likely share the same motivation: starting families.

However, consider those who are older.

It is not all that unusual after the kids leave the nest that long term couples wake up one day to find they have nothing in common. All they really ever had was kids and family.

Those who are older most likely are not interested in starting new families. As a result, they need to consider other factors when deciding who to date, especially when looking for something long term.

Those who are older must consider the financial realities of retirement. Statistics supposedly indicate that less than half the population is adequately prepared financially for retirement. Unless a person is open to taking on a dependant, then divide by 2.

5,639 / 2 = 2,820

Now consider important issues such as: religion, politics, life style, temperament, interests, chemistry, pets, kids at home, baggage, etc. For the sake of brevity, a person would be very lucky to find one truly compatible person in every 1000.

2,820 / 1000 = 2 potential dating prospects (Note: 0.82 of a person would be on life support in an ICU).

So, do the odds really favor dating (celiac or otherwise)?

What’s even worse, consider someone who’s been divorced twice. They may have already gone through their entire dating pool.

[curlyfries]

codetalker, on Feb 9 2009, 06:24 PM, said:

So, 1 in 133 sounds good? Let’s crunch some numbers:


So, do the odds really favor dating (celiac or otherwise)?

GAAAHHHH!!!!!......Danger!....Brain overload! .....Make it stop!!!!!

Ummmmm.........put much thought into this, have you??



....0.82 of a person on life support in ICU.......

[Tallforagirl]

codetalker, on Feb 9 2009, 03:24 PM, said:

So, 1 in 133 sounds good? Let’s crunch some numbers:

Most posters seem to be from the U.S. Not to slight our international brethren but let’s start there. U.S. population has.topped 300,000,000.

Unless a person is bi, they will be interested in dating one gender or the other. So divide by 2.

300,000,000 / 2 = 150,000,000

Most people date within an age range. I could not find stats for U.S. population by age. So let’s recklessly assume an even distribution from age 1 to 100. Further, assume someone will date within a 10 year age range. That could mean dating someone up to 5 yrs older or younger or dating only those up to 10 years younger or dating only those up to 10 years older. Regardless, 10% of the people above would be in the 10 year range. Divide by 10.

150,000,000 / 10 = 15,000,000

If 1 in 133 people are celiacs and if a person is looking a date another celiac, then divide by 133.

15,000,000 / 133 = 112,782

Despite the advantages of the Internet, people are still most likely to date locals. So, let’s assume (admittedly incorrectly) an even population distribution by state. Further, assume that people will most likely meet and then date someone from their own state or perhaps from one of the surrounding four states. 5 states = 10% of the states = 10% of the above number. Divide by 10.

112,782 / 10 = 11,278

Unless a person is into adultery or breaking up existing relationships, then the status of a potential dating prospect must be considered. Since none of this is scientific, let’s assume (somewhat reasonably) that at least 50% of prospects are married, in a committed relationship, separated, going through a divorce, prefer living single or are otherwise unavailable. Divide by 2.

11,278 / 2 = 5,639

For those who are younger, 5,639 is not all that bad. After all, they most likely share the same motivation: starting families.

However, consider those who are older.

It is not all that unusual after the kids leave the nest that long term couples wake up one day to find they have nothing in common. All they really ever had was kids and family.

Those who are older most likely are not interested in starting new families. As a result, they need to consider other factors when deciding who to date, especially when looking for something long term.

Those who are older must consider the financial realities of retirement. Statistics supposedly indicate that less than half the population is adequately prepared financially for retirement. Unless a person is open to taking on a dependant, then divide by 2.

5,639 / 2 = 2,820

Now consider important issues such as: religion, politics, life style, temperament, interests, chemistry, pets, kids at home, baggage, etc. For the sake of brevity, a person would be very lucky to find one truly compatible person in every 1000.

2,820 / 1000 = 2 potential dating prospects (Note: 0.82 of a person would be on life support in an ICU).

So, do the odds really favor dating (celiac or otherwise)?

What’s even worse, consider someone who’s been divorced twice. They may have already gone through their entire dating pool.

You have too much time on your hands.

[spanish-road]

wow that is all i have to say is wow.