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Getting Frustrated With Daughter!


Juliebove

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Juliebove Rising Star

The last several things I have made in the crock pot, she has refused to eat. I made pot roast the other day with carrots and potatoes. She refused to even try the meat. Ate one little piece of potato and said it was disgusting. It wasn't. It was really good.

I was getting recipes from the blog site where the woman did a different crock pot recipe each day. So far both she and my husband hated everything I made. I loved the chicken and rice with the faux cream soup. They didn't.

I've made enchilada casserole both in the crock pot and oven. They both said they hated it but they did seem to eat quite a lot.

She has refused to eat any kind of soup, stew or chili.

Today she said she was sick of sandwiches and didn't want any more in her lunch. So then what? I finally found those single serve cups of hummus at Costco that she wanted all last year. Would she eat one of those? No. Polenta chips? No. Also no fruits, vegetables or salads. She didn't want any kind of meat. Won't eat beans because they might give her gas. Refused to have chicken and rice.

I am starting to get frustrated. We went all through Safeway looking for something to put in her lunch. She decided on a chocolate yogurt and a package of Nachos. Which is fine for tomorrow. Oh she will get a pack of apples and some carrots whether she wants them or not! But...

Her allergies are the IgG type which means she is on a rotation diet. She was previously allergic to dairy and eggs. The eggs are showing almost an allergy now. She is allowed eggs only once a week and dairy once twice a week and not on subsequent days. She insisted on having dairy on Sunday, so no more dairy for the rest of the week.

The only foods she has eaten at home lately and not complained about are pasta with red sauce and rice spaghetti with chicken and gravy. She will also eat plain dry cereal and the occasional banana. But again, she is only allowed bananas twice a week because of a previous allergy. She will also eat green beans and olives straight from the can. Potato chips and candy, although she is really limited as to the candy she isn't allergic to, and I don't want her having much candy.

She likes to go out for Mexican food, but she balks if we go out to often, and frankly I can't afford to keep taking her out to eat.

She is 10 going on 11 if that matters.

I'm the type of person who will eat the same thing for weeks, months even years on end day after day and want nothing else. Then I get sick of it and move on to something else. It was really easy for me when I lived alone. Ha!

I have NO clue what my husband likes or doesn't like to eat. He will say he doesn't like something and then eat tons of it. Mostly he just complains. So I don't tailor my meals around him and much of the time I get him something in the way of a prepared food because he has no allergies and doesn't want to be restricted like we are.

So what can I do with her? She is getting over the flu, as we all are in this house. That might be making her overly cranky. For a while she was interested in reading my cookbooks and finding some new recipes to try. But that was short lived. It's to the point now where she pitches a fit and flat out refuses to even take a bite of what I have fixed. I tell her she can just starve then. So she pitches a bigger fit and just says she will stuff herself full of junk, which she then tries to do! She will grab a box of cereal and start wolfing it. She does know about nutrition. This is just getting tough. And I know I'm a good cook. So it's not that.

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RiceGuy Collaborator

My first impression is that she has become deficient in certain nutrients. This can be a tough cycle to break. They refuse to eat the very things they need to overcome the problem. A little "child psychology" might work, though I'm no expert there. Thinking back to my childhood, the best way to get a kid to want something, is to tell them they can't have it. Suppose you make a nice big dinner, and you only give her a handful of dry cereal on a plate? I can't imagine anyone not feeling left out. She might try to play along for a short time, but I'd be surprised if she could keep up appearances very long.

Alternatively, I guess I'd be inclined to not have any food in the house other than healthy stuff. So no cereals, candy, or snacks, etc. Eventually she'd hopefully get hungry enough to eat what you've prepared. But obviously, I don't know your daughter. Nobody knows her better than you.

Will she take supplements? Does she take vitamin B12? How about zinc? A deficiency in zinc can cause a poor sense of taste and smell, which could make all foods boring and icky tasting.

Perhaps someone with a finicky child can provide further insight.

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Jestgar Rising Star

I would point out where the grocery store is, then plop my butt in front of the TV with a box of crackers and a bag of M&Ms.

My mom's rule growing up was - if you don't like what I made, you're on your own.

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Juliebove Rising Star
My first impression is that she has become deficient in certain nutrients. This can be a tough cycle to break. They refuse to eat the very things they need to overcome the problem. A little "child psychology" might work, though I'm no expert there. Thinking back to my childhood, the best way to get a kid to want something, is to tell them they can't have it. Suppose you make a nice big dinner, and you only give her a handful of dry cereal on a plate? I can't imagine anyone not feeling left out. She might try to play along for a short time, but I'd be surprised if she could keep up appearances very long.

Alternatively, I guess I'd be inclined to not have any food in the house other than healthy stuff. So no cereals, candy, or snacks, etc. Eventually she'd hopefully get hungry enough to eat what you've prepared. But obviously, I don't know your daughter. Nobody knows her better than you.

Will she take supplements? Does she take vitamin B12? How about zinc? A deficiency in zinc can cause a poor sense of taste and smell, which could make all foods boring and icky tasting.

Perhaps someone with a finicky child can provide further insight.

The child psychology thing worked for her up to about age 4. Now it doesn't work. I do have a hard time getting her to take supplements. She is big for her age and her Drs. consider her an adult now. So swallowable vitamins and she hates those. I keep forgetting to give them to her too. Must try harder to remember.

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Juliebove Rising Star
I would point out where the grocery store is, then plop my butt in front of the TV with a box of crackers and a bag of M&Ms.

My mom's rule growing up was - if you don't like what I made, you're on your own.

Which is exactly what she wants me to do. That's her excuse for eating junk. And if she can't get it from me, she will get it from her dad, or call grandma or whatever it takes.

I have taken her to the grocery store many times and told her to pick out what she wants to eat for the week. She can tell me a million things she doesn't want, but it's rare for her to tell me something she does want. Once we got little packs of apples and grapes. She loved those. Never seen them since. And she won't eat them if I mix them together at home.

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dawn p Newbie

Boy can i ever relate to this!! My daughter (now 15 ) is a celiac with a dairy intolerence and i remember the tween yrs! how could i forget i thought it was going to be the beginning of the end of my life!! Let me share with u how we lived through it and how im now surviving the teenage yrs (which i am finding much easier so hold on to that as light at the end of the tunnel)!

Im pretty sure from the time my daughter was 9 until 13 or 14 yrs of age she lived on spagetti (culy noodles only) with just the right amount of cheese (to much or to little resulted in not eating her meal and punishing me by hibernating in her room for several hours) oh and it had to be a certain brand of sause also, dare i forget that!!

She did have the occasional meal of g.f pizza and she did help herself to an endless supply of yogurt and fruit which is what kept her alive nutritionally i guess. But the biggest stress factor in my life was meals. i spent most of my days in the kitchen scoffing up deliciouse gluten-free meals only to result in my daughter requesting spagetti for supper again!!!! oh my nerves were gone!

The turning point for me was when i slacked off a bit and gave her more room. what i mean is i stopped fretting over it and making every meal an issue and i started to try and feel, i mean really feel how she must feel having such a strange limitation on her diet. And in her mind and the minds of her friends it was strange.

Once i started to accomodate to her very limited selection of things she would eat and stopped fussing over increasing her selection it seems like at some point it changed a little. She began opening up to trying other things. I think it was also partially due to her age and immaturity levels because i have a 6 yr old who is starting to show the same "pickyness" with her food but she has no alergies at all,so now doubt some of what your daughter is experiencing is age related as well as alergy related.

Something else i noticed with my daughter is that once i found some kid like gluten-free recipes and allowed her to make them herself, her attitude changed gratually also. Things like pizza bagels and smoothies which she made herself and a peanut butter cup recipe which i know is a dessert not a meal but she made it together with her friends when they had sleep overs which they all loved mostly because it made them feel more grown up doing their own cooking and it just got her interested in new foods and recipes.

In conclusion if u can find some meal ideas ur daughter and her friends can do as a fun thing it may change her attitude a little. When they make pizza bagels her friends can use regular bagels. Also have u tried a taco night? Its a huge hit in my house i just put a load of toppings in the middle of the table and they make their own,its all gluten free so everyone is eatting the same foods (which is rare when she has friends over).

Also there are things u cna do with non nutritious foods that kids like such as adding cheese to french fries.....yummy! or instead of serving chili,buy some naco's and use the chili and cheese as a topping so now it s more like a finger food snack but still nutritious.

Popcorn is actually fairly good for kids and my daughter sometimes takes it to school along with a yogurt tube or fruit chunks and shares it with her friends. oh and fruit chunks are yummy dipped in cool whip i know its not as good as alone but if u can take away some of her negative feelings regarding her limited,crappy diet(my daughters old words)then the positive feelings may start to snowball!

I hope my rambling has helped!

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ang1e0251 Contributor

Sounds like she's manipulating and punishing you. If all she will eat is junkfood, remove it from the house. When she is hungry enough, she will eat. That is kind of harsh but IMO if she can get her way now, what will you do when she's 16?

I think your husband could be more supportive. If he would refrain from critisizing your food, she would not have an ally against you. Maybe he could tell you his opinions in private and back you up at mealtime.

For a time my daughter wanted to be picky too. She would ask what was for dinner and when told, refuse to eat it. One night she came to ask what the meal was. My husband was cooking soup, something she had many times and liked, but knowing her pattern, he said, "Barbie Guts Soup". We thought we would make her so disgusted she would really go off. Not to outdone she said, Oh good!!"

I'd like to say that was the end of it but,no, she battled on. It was a power struggle she was determined to win. Her weakness was dessert and treats and when she was refused those even the next day, she finally caved. I didn't make her eat food she genuinely disliked but I did expect her to eat from what was served. She really will eat about anything now at age 21.

Good luck to you. Sometimes it feels like a battle.

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sandejosgirl Newbie

Wow! We have gone through this too, but my kiddos are younger (almost 5, 3, and 1). I have now determined that I will NOT short order chef, for any reason, even for food allergies. What I mean is, my house is not a diner or a restaraunt where you get to look at a menu and order what you want. If I made it, the choices are: eat it, or go hungery! :P My oldest is very picky, and even with this regime still wants to be picky and complain. So, I sympathize with her (our whole family eats according to the diet) and tell her I know it hard to not be able to eat whatever you want all the time, and then tell her firmly, "This is what I made for dinner. If you are not hungery, or don't like it, then you are free to wait until breakfast to eat."

I know it sounds harsh, but I'm not going to let my kids dictate to me what to cook 30mins before dinner, or even at the table. When I catered to them, half the time my daughter would demand something and I would just get done cooking it when she would change her mind. So aggrevating! I'm very through with this kind of attitude, so now we go by the mantra, "You get what you get and you don't throw a fit!" :lol: The only time I let the kiddos opt out is if I have made something completely new. They still have to try it before they can say they don't like it; and even then they get a gluten-free almond butter and jam sandwhich.

Given her age I would also teach her how to cook her gluten-free foods for herself. Maybe if she spent a couple of hours in the kitchen cooking a meal she would be invested in the product. You could ask as you are making things how she likes the spices, which spices she likes, etc. It would be great for teaching her how to be a young adult with celiacs and take responsibility for how things will be for life.

Stand firm against the tide of whininess! :o

With love, Stephanie

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Jestgar Rising Star
Which is exactly what she wants me to do. That's her excuse for eating junk. And if she can't get it from me, she will get it from her dad, or call grandma or whatever it takes.

hmm, didn't consider that angle. We never had junk in the house (couldn't afford it).

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tarnalberry Community Regular

my husband did this as a kid. still is very picky. but he's not doing it to "punish" or "manipulate". not even (mostly) when he was a kid. he's a super taster. it's vital to remember that taste is a sense, and we all taste things differently. to him, a fresh, juicy tomato tastes *bitter*. yup, you heard me. (I love the things.) he is also very sensitive to textures, which is not an uncommon thing for kids to go through (less common for adults to keep ;) ).

I would encourage you to try to understand her taste and texture preferences (even your husbands) - at the least it can help you predict what they'll like and what they won't, regardless of how you feel about a food. it will require a lot of talking and a lot of mind bending on your part, but - if my experience is even remotely normal - will make a pretty big difference.

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RiceGuy Collaborator

There was never junk in the house when I was little either. No matter how much I hated what was on the table, there really wasn't any choice. I either ate it or went hungry. This did not make me like the food any better. Though there wasn't much I couldn't make myself swallow if I was hungry enough, some things just tasted putrid. If there were more than one dish on the table, I would try to pick the least offensive food. After a while, the rule was that I had to at least try some of each item.

I like the idea of involving the child in the preparation of the meal. I recall doing that at times, and I wanted to like the meal, thus tried harder even when it didn't meet expectations. After all, I had helped make it, and if it didn't taste good, I'd have to share the blame.

One day something curious happened: I discovered I liked peas. All along they tasted horrid, so I couldn't explain it. Then suddenly I hated them again. Long story short, I liked them raw, but once cooked they just tasted thoroughly disgusting. Canned peas are the kind we usually had, so I never knew what they really tasted like until that day.

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Juliebove Rising Star
Boy can i ever relate to this!! My daughter (now 15 ) is a celiac with a dairy intolerence and i remember the tween yrs! how could i forget i thought it was going to be the beginning of the end of my life!! Let me share with u how we lived through it and how im now surviving the teenage yrs (which i am finding much easier so hold on to that as light at the end of the tunnel)!

Im pretty sure from the time my daughter was 9 until 13 or 14 yrs of age she lived on spagetti (culy noodles only) with just the right amount of cheese (to much or to little resulted in not eating her meal and punishing me by hibernating in her room for several hours) oh and it had to be a certain brand of sause also, dare i forget that!!

She did have the occasional meal of g.f pizza and she did help herself to an endless supply of yogurt and fruit which is what kept her alive nutritionally i guess. But the biggest stress factor in my life was meals. i spent most of my days in the kitchen scoffing up deliciouse gluten-free meals only to result in my daughter requesting spagetti for supper again!!!! oh my nerves were gone!

The turning point for me was when i slacked off a bit and gave her more room. what i mean is i stopped fretting over it and making every meal an issue and i started to try and feel, i mean really feel how she must feel having such a strange limitation on her diet. And in her mind and the minds of her friends it was strange.

Once i started to accomodate to her very limited selection of things she would eat and stopped fussing over increasing her selection it seems like at some point it changed a little. She began opening up to trying other things. I think it was also partially due to her age and immaturity levels because i have a 6 yr old who is starting to show the same "pickyness" with her food but she has no alergies at all,so now doubt some of what your daughter is experiencing is age related as well as alergy related.

Something else i noticed with my daughter is that once i found some kid like gluten-free recipes and allowed her to make them herself, her attitude changed gratually also. Things like pizza bagels and smoothies which she made herself and a peanut butter cup recipe which i know is a dessert not a meal but she made it together with her friends when they had sleep overs which they all loved mostly because it made them feel more grown up doing their own cooking and it just got her interested in new foods and recipes.

In conclusion if u can find some meal ideas ur daughter and her friends can do as a fun thing it may change her attitude a little. When they make pizza bagels her friends can use regular bagels. Also have u tried a taco night? Its a huge hit in my house i just put a load of toppings in the middle of the table and they make their own,its all gluten free so everyone is eatting the same foods (which is rare when she has friends over).

Also there are things u cna do with non nutritious foods that kids like such as adding cheese to french fries.....yummy! or instead of serving chili,buy some naco's and use the chili and cheese as a topping so now it s more like a finger food snack but still nutritious.

Popcorn is actually fairly good for kids and my daughter sometimes takes it to school along with a yogurt tube or fruit chunks and shares it with her friends. oh and fruit chunks are yummy dipped in cool whip i know its not as good as alone but if u can take away some of her negative feelings regarding her limited,crappy diet(my daughters old words)then the positive feelings may start to snowball!

I hope my rambling has helped!

I've tried to get her involved with the cooking but she says I am being mean. She will only help if it is her idea or if the meal is much delayed and she is starving.

She ate tacos when she was little. Refuses to eat them now. Will only eat them occasionally in a restaurant and only if she is allergic to everything else on the menu.

I refuse to allow Cool Whip into the house. I'm not sure what all is in it. I'm pretty sure it has high fructose corn syrup or trans fats and possibly one of her former allergens, like soy. She has never eaten it.

I do buy her whipped cream in a canister and she can have that on her dairy days. The problem is she can have dairy only twice a week and she wants it more often.

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Juliebove Rising Star
Sounds like she's manipulating and punishing you. If all she will eat is junkfood, remove it from the house. When she is hungry enough, she will eat. That is kind of harsh but IMO if she can get her way now, what will you do when she's 16?

I think your husband could be more supportive. If he would refrain from critisizing your food, she would not have an ally against you. Maybe he could tell you his opinions in private and back you up at mealtime.

For a time my daughter wanted to be picky too. She would ask what was for dinner and when told, refuse to eat it. One night she came to ask what the meal was. My husband was cooking soup, something she had many times and liked, but knowing her pattern, he said, "Barbie Guts Soup". We thought we would make her so disgusted she would really go off. Not to outdone she said, Oh good!!"

I'd like to say that was the end of it but,no, she battled on. It was a power struggle she was determined to win. Her weakness was dessert and treats and when she was refused those even the next day, she finally caved. I didn't make her eat food she genuinely disliked but I did expect her to eat from what was served. She really will eat about anything now at age 21.

Good luck to you. Sometimes it feels like a battle.

I wish I could remove the junk food from the house but I have to buy it for my husband. He screams and yells if we don't have it. And my parents didn't help by sending home all those bags of potato chips every day.

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Juliebove Rising Star
There was never junk in the house when I was little either. No matter how much I hated what was on the table, there really wasn't any choice. I either ate it or went hungry. This did not make me like the food any better. Though there wasn't much I couldn't make myself swallow if I was hungry enough, some things just tasted putrid. If there were more than one dish on the table, I would try to pick the least offensive food. After a while, the rule was that I had to at least try some of each item.

I like the idea of involving the child in the preparation of the meal. I recall doing that at times, and I wanted to like the meal, thus tried harder even when it didn't meet expectations. After all, I had helped make it, and if it didn't taste good, I'd have to share the blame.

One day something curious happened: I discovered I liked peas. All along they tasted horrid, so I couldn't explain it. Then suddenly I hated them again. Long story short, I liked them raw, but once cooked they just tasted thoroughly disgusting. Canned peas are the kind we usually had, so I never knew what they really tasted like until that day.

Ack! Peas are another problem. Daughter loves them but is now allergic.

When I was growing up, we dined out a lot. So we often got whatever we wanted to eat, within reason.

I have to have a quick meal tonight so will make pasta. Will see how that goes.

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glutenada Newbie

I've not had this problem with our son - he always ate what was put before him. But I go through a food-aversion cycle a few times each year. The last one I had lasted 3+ months.

Nothing sounded good and I ended up just eating whatever so I wouldn't pass out. Not one solitary food in the entire world appeal to me during these times. And I end up nearly gagging at food that I normally enjoy.

Typically after a few weeks, this subsides and I'm back to eating what I typically do.

Not sure if this is something that your daughter could be going through...

I'm on a very restrictive diet. I have extreme oral allergies so most fruit and veggies are out. Corn and all grains are out. Beans, brown rice, onions, garlic, shellfish, etc, etc - add to this that I HATE pork (unless it's cured - ham, bacon, sausage) and I'm left with red meat, chicken (breast only - hate dark meat) a few veggies and things like eggs, bacon, hashbrowns. That gets might tiring sometimes and I think that helps lead to my aversions.

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Takala Enthusiast

Cravings for carbohydrates and junk foods are caused by mineral deficiencies and a diet too high in refined (white) carbs just makes it much worse.

You have to set limits now or in a few years you'll have a monster on your hands. Start giving her a gluten free calcium supplement and a multivitamin daily, and if she doesn't like it, too bad, she's taking it ! Same with meals, if she doesn't want to select and help prepare, or refuses what you made after she refused to select, too bad ! She can go hungry or make herself a healthy alternative, but no junk. Remove junk from house, tell husband to consume off premises and start being an adult. If you don't give in to the temper tantrums they won't do it anymore, but he has no right to make the kid sick.

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Jestgar Rising Star
Cravings for carbohydrates and junk foods are caused by mineral deficiencies and a diet too high in refined (white) carbs just makes it much worse.

If you are going to make a definitive statement like this, you need to back it up with references.

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dandelionmom Enthusiast

In my opinion, our kids have enough food issues to make pickiness understandable. They just want to control SOMETHING about their diet.

I think it might help to have a family meeting to talk about a more pleasant and respectful way to approach the family meal. Try to avoid using confrontational language.

It might be worthwhile to suggest that your family takes turns cooking. Or agrees to help with meal planning and prep. Or agrees that mom is in charge of the menu but maybe there could be a reasonable alternative for the child if she's tried the food and doesn't care for it (something simple like a canned soup).

Food battles are a tough one to win and really take away from the benefits of eating as a family, in my opinion.

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celiac-mommy Collaborator

I agree with a lot of what has been said (from the "what it's worth department" ;) ) My dh wants the junk food in the house, I don't-when he b%$@#es about it, I remind him who does ALL the grocery shopping, and if he'd like the junk, he can go to the store and get it himself-98% of the time, he won't go :rolleyes:

I, also, am not a short order cook. I refuse to make multiple meals to suit everyone's tastes, but I will involve the kids in the decision making, like which vegetable, chicken or fish, etc... and I don't make things I know they hate (anything spicy) They get what is on their plate, if they refuse to eat (which my son does on a nightly basis), they have to take at least 1 bite of everything and if they choose to leave the table after that, I will save their plate for the rest of the evening, but that is their only option until breakfast. Treats or evening snacks are only allowed if their dinner has sufficiently been eaten.

I have 1 kid that will eat anything and 1 that will eat very little-always an adventure ;)

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sugarsue Enthusiast
I have 1 kid that will eat anything and 1 that will eat very little-always an adventure ;)

I'm the same, 1 kid who will eat anything and 1 that won't!

Julie, HUGS to you! I know this is so tough. My picky eater is 6. She's super gluten intolerant. She would rather eat chips than anything else. What I do now is tell her she needs to pick a protein and a veggie for her lunch and dinner. If she picks it, I'll cook it. If she eats it, then she can eat her chips or popcorn. If she's still hungry after her chips, she has to finish any dinner she didn't eat or she can pick a fruit. This seems to be working for us so far. Sometimes she will decide she doesn't want anything later, after dinner, other times she will eat more. My hope is that it is teaching her to select foods she likes and from all the food groups. She will often come to me now and say, for example "protein - sausage, veggie - okra". I say "Please" and she says "please" and I cook it. I'm OK with that.

Anyway, I'm sure we are not doing it perfectly, but it seems to be helping. On the days I'm tired or not feeling well, she eats too much junk. But I try really hard to stick to this plan for now.

She also takes a lot of supplements for her malnutrition. That is non-negotiable. So far, if she refuses, I tell her she can go to her room for the rest of the night and she will then take it. I know your daughter is older so this may not be helpful but I did want to share......

s

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Juliebove Rising Star
my husband did this as a kid. still is very picky. but he's not doing it to "punish" or "manipulate". not even (mostly) when he was a kid. he's a super taster. it's vital to remember that taste is a sense, and we all taste things differently. to him, a fresh, juicy tomato tastes *bitter*. yup, you heard me. (I love the things.) he is also very sensitive to textures, which is not an uncommon thing for kids to go through (less common for adults to keep ;) ).

I would encourage you to try to understand her taste and texture preferences (even your husbands) - at the least it can help you predict what they'll like and what they won't, regardless of how you feel about a food. it will require a lot of talking and a lot of mind bending on your part, but - if my experience is even remotely normal - will make a pretty big difference.

I am a super taster and also have issues with texture. Fresh tomatoes are usually fine for me, but stuff like cooked broccoli or cauliflower is not.

My husband is not a picky eater at all. He is very controlling and manipulative. He used to play games with his mom. She would fix him a plate of food and he would say, "I don't want that! I want something else!" So she would cry and fix him something else. He would do this maybe 4 or 5 times with her finally hurling herself down on her bed in tears, which is exactly what he wanted. He would laugh and then proceed to eat all the plates of food.

Before we were married, he would tell me he had friends coming over so I would buy or make all kinds of snack food for them. But most of the time they never showed up. I then got his friend's phone numbers and would call them when he said they were coming over. If they weren't coming over, no food.

I won't play his games. He's an adult and I feel if an adult needs to do stuff like this, something is very wrong. He will never tell me what he wants to eat aside from pineapple (he wants me to buy whole and cut which I refuse to do), steak and ice cream. The problem with the steak is I never know when he will want it. And when he wants it, he wants it right then! Another game. So he rarely gets steak at home.

As for my daughter, she might be a super taster. She does eat things that I can't stand. And things with texture I can't stand. Like rice cakes.

I'm starting to think it's just an age or hormone thing. She is just really cranky and surly and has been trying to boss me around a lot, telling me that moms don't do this or that or dress like this or wear their hair like that... I did that but not till I was 12.

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Juliebove Rising Star
I've not had this problem with our son - he always ate what was put before him. But I go through a food-aversion cycle a few times each year. The last one I had lasted 3+ months.

Nothing sounded good and I ended up just eating whatever so I wouldn't pass out. Not one solitary food in the entire world appeal to me during these times. And I end up nearly gagging at food that I normally enjoy.

Typically after a few weeks, this subsides and I'm back to eating what I typically do.

Not sure if this is something that your daughter could be going through...

I'm on a very restrictive diet. I have extreme oral allergies so most fruit and veggies are out. Corn and all grains are out. Beans, brown rice, onions, garlic, shellfish, etc, etc - add to this that I HATE pork (unless it's cured - ham, bacon, sausage) and I'm left with red meat, chicken (breast only - hate dark meat) a few veggies and things like eggs, bacon, hashbrowns. That gets might tiring sometimes and I think that helps lead to my aversions.

That could be too. I have OAS as well as food allergies and extreme food aversions. Other people don't understand the aversions.

What I don't understand is how something she always loved, like pot roast and potatoes could suddenly be disgusting.

When I have an aversion, I always have it.

She hates raw tomatoes in and of themselves. Fine. But oddly she will eat tons of pico de gallo and the other day ate nachos with chopped tomatoes on them.

I would never force someone to eat a food they truly hate because I know how horrible that is. I just can't seem to find many things she will eat.

I thought tonight she would freak over the pasta because for some reason our Parmesan cheese seemed to have disappeared. I told her she could put some cheddar on it and she was fine with it. Said she liked it.

I am waiting to hear back from my mom to find out what the "fried rice" is that she made. I know it can't be real fried rice because there is no egg or soy sauce in it. Daughter keeps talking about how good it was. And she usually won't eat my mom's rice because she makes brown rice with no salt in it.

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Juliebove Rising Star
Cravings for carbohydrates and junk foods are caused by mineral deficiencies and a diet too high in refined (white) carbs just makes it much worse.

You have to set limits now or in a few years you'll have a monster on your hands. Start giving her a gluten free calcium supplement and a multivitamin daily, and if she doesn't like it, too bad, she's taking it ! Same with meals, if she doesn't want to select and help prepare, or refuses what you made after she refused to select, too bad ! She can go hungry or make herself a healthy alternative, but no junk. Remove junk from house, tell husband to consume off premises and start being an adult. If you don't give in to the temper tantrums they won't do it anymore, but he has no right to make the kid sick.

She has no mineral deficiencies. She has been tested. The Chiropractor did feel that she was low on B6 though. AFAIK, she doesn't have cravings for junk or carbs. It's all she says she will eat but I've never heard her say she was having a craving.

As for the husband, I don't tell him what to do. He's an adult. If he wants to eat himself into his grave, that's his business.

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Juliebove Rising Star
In my opinion, our kids have enough food issues to make pickiness understandable. They just want to control SOMETHING about their diet.

I think it might help to have a family meeting to talk about a more pleasant and respectful way to approach the family meal. Try to avoid using confrontational language.

It might be worthwhile to suggest that your family takes turns cooking. Or agrees to help with meal planning and prep. Or agrees that mom is in charge of the menu but maybe there could be a reasonable alternative for the child if she's tried the food and doesn't care for it (something simple like a canned soup).

Food battles are a tough one to win and really take away from the benefits of eating as a family, in my opinion.

I've already told her what we are doing tomorrow and told her I want there to be no issues with it. We are going to Central Market and she can choose her dinner there. They have a few prepared things she can eat. Roasted potatoes, brown, white or wild rice, herbed chicken breast, lamb kebabs, meatloaf, salad bar or one of the Ian's items. There will be no other choices because I have a lot of errands to run before dance class and she will either eat one of those things or go without dinner.

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Juliebove Rising Star
In my opinion, our kids have enough food issues to make pickiness understandable. They just want to control SOMETHING about their diet.

I think it might help to have a family meeting to talk about a more pleasant and respectful way to approach the family meal. Try to avoid using confrontational language.

It might be worthwhile to suggest that your family takes turns cooking. Or agrees to help with meal planning and prep. Or agrees that mom is in charge of the menu but maybe there could be a reasonable alternative for the child if she's tried the food and doesn't care for it (something simple like a canned soup).

Food battles are a tough one to win and really take away from the benefits of eating as a family, in my opinion.

She used to be a very good eater and would eat a lot of things that other kids wouldn't, apparently. Like tuna salad. There is just something recent that is causing her not to want to eat what I fix. I will do the pasta again on Thu. Husband is Italian and would put up with pasta almost every night. I just don't want it that often.

We'll see. It could still be residual effects of the flu. She has been complaining of her head hurting and has been super cranky in other ways.

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