[harrisburg]

my girlfriend has celiac and she has explained to me what it is and what it does. even though i tell her i understand i really don't totaly grasp the disease. i love her dearly and want to be with her and support her always. she eats right and takes very good care of herself yet the celiac acts up almost at random and keeps her house bound. she is worried that i will get fed up with her and leave. i'm not going anywear and what to understand how to cope with this disease and how to live with someone and help them with this disease. willing to learn and not affraid. not going to let this disease get it the way of your lives together.

[mindiloo]

that's awesome that you're this dedicated to her. it can be very frustrating for both when someone without celiac wants to go out to a restaurant, and the celiac person never wants to or doesn't know anywhere to go. i don't know what she's told you, so i may be reiterating, but i've only been diagnosed for a few months so i've had to explain it numerous times and this is what i tend to tell people.

it's not just a food allergy like lactose intolerance where i can eat it but just feel crummy, it's an autoimmune disease. when i eat gluten it damages my small intestine which causes the small intestine to lose the ability to absorb nutrients, vitamins, and proteins my body needs.

in my case, i dont know if this is true with her as well, the damaged put holes in my intestine and caused the proteins etc to leak into my bloodstream. when this happened my antibodies saw all of the proteins etc as foreign antibodies and attacked them. then, when my antibodies saw them places where they wee supposed to be they attacked them there as well, assuming they were still foreign antibodies. this not only wore out my immune system because it went on for so long, but it didn't allow my body to absorb all of the nutrients, vitamins, proteins, and everything it needed to stay healthy, weakening my immune system even more.

i hope that helped, if not let me know. to show her you understand i would learn some of the gluten free things she likes and can eat and stock them in your house without her asking. you can go to health food stores, and some supermarkets have gluten free sections in their natural food isles. you could also look for some restaurants in the area that have gluten free menus and call ahead to say you're coming...even ones that have gluten free menus sometimes don't tell their staff how serious cross contamination can be. If you type in your location here it will show you restaurants in your area: http://gluten-free-o...Restaurants.asp

you guys will work through this, and i'm sure she'll stop worrying soon, don't worry.

if you want any food ideas or anything just let me know!

[Zella CE]

harrisburg, on Mar 1 2009, 07:59 PM, said:

my girlfriend has celiac and she has explained to me what it is and what it does. even though i tell her i understand i really don't totaly grasp the disease. i love her dearly and want to be with her and support her always. she eats right and takes very good care of herself yet the celiac acts up almost at random and keeps her house bound. she is worried that i will get fed up with her and leave. i'm not going anywear and what to understand how to cope with this disease and how to live with someone and help them with this disease. willing to learn and not affraid. not going to let this disease get it the way of your lives together.

You get like fifty thousand gold stars for posting and asking this question!

My advice, treat her normal, but also be there for her when her body is acting up. I also have days where I am home bound and my boyfriend has just learned to be flexible. He is my best advocate, other than myself. He's learned everything from alternate names for gluten, to getting vocal with my parents if they are not being as understanding as possible about my situation. The amazing thing, I've never had to tell him to do these things, he just adapts and is constantly educating himself.

Oh! And he has learned the steps and procedure of cooking gluten-free for me. He knows which utensils and cookware to use. He knows which ingredients to use. All things he learned all on his own Which is SO nice, especially when I am sick and don't have the energy to cook - I know I can trust him.

The one thing I noticed is that he will ask what he can do to make things easier. So, if it comes to kissy kissy time, he knows that brushing his teeth (and tongue) is very important. If he's had a gluten sandwich, he automatically knows to wash his hands, so that he can hold my hand without me getting contaminated. Sometimes he will even push my hand away, if I have forgotten that he had a sandwich and he hasn't had a chance to wash his hands He actually set an excellent example for my Dad and Mom, so they both wash their hands before touching anything that belongs to me. As you may have gathered by now, I am a very sensitive Celiac.

Sometimes she will feel like her body is failing her, she may feel like you deserve someone better, but truth be told - she needs to have someone who is strong and there for her. I have told my boyfriend many times to find someone stronger, someone healthy. I meant it every time I said it too. But, his reasoning is - Everyone in this world has their problems.. So you may have a healthy woman, but she just aint right in the head.. Or you have someone with a different health problem.. or maybe someone who becomes an alcoholic or drug addict.. Everyone has their different issues and the thing is for her to remember that she has Celiac and it shouldn't have her. Once she starts thinking Celiac has her, she will fall into the thoughts that she doesn't deserve you.

I don't know if she has mood swings, but I know I do! Just try and be patient, give her space.. unless she wants a hug.. but just try and listen. I know it is a tall order to do all these things, but I am guessing you wouldn't be with her if she didn't have some amazing qualities worth fighting for.

Best of luck =)
Zella

[Takala]

I am not a "super sensitive" person, I'm gluten intolerant.

I feel very fortunate that I have been married for a very long time to a very caring person.

We are a bit opposite, he likes to plan things way ahead of time, I'm a bit more spontaneous. For example, if we are driving somewhere, the first thing he says in the car is, which route are we taking, and he wants to know the entire freaking path we are going to take before we start.. I, on the other hand, having just performed a herculean get ready to travel routine (the rest of you know what I mean, because this means I not only planned a menu, but shopped, executed it, and cooked breakfast but I also packed lunch and snacks, and in the meantime I fed pets and washed my hands numerous times ) just would prefer to at least drive the first few miles to the interstate and seeing the traffic, without having to recite the entire litany of EVERY ROAD and alternate route. I can do this, as I'm good at it, but why now. He has learned not to mess with my

"I need a few minutes to be quiet now" statement.

That and "give me a few minutes to see what sort of body I have woken up in this morning."

will cover most situations.

If you can memorize what brands of stuff are safe and are willing to use a cell phone from a grocery store to read off ingredients on labels, when you go to run shopping errands, you will get extra brownie points.

If you eat glue junk in the house, rinse the dish really well before putting it in the dishwasher, and thou shalt not smear crumbs all over the place. Use the cootie sponge on this. Use paper towels. Use a LOT of paper towels. You can't use too many paper towels. You are the paper product manufacturer's best consumer friend. Do not make comments to the effect that this does not matter, and you should live long and prosper.

Try to remember not to get gluey cat food detritus for the oldest cat smeared on things. See the above paragraph.

If you learn to make uncontaminated, gluten free edible bread products yourself, or just a decent meal that somebody didn't have to cook for themselves, you may be elevated to Royalty status.

[happygirl]

If you live where your name implies, you have some great resources in your area.

There is a Celiac 101 class coming up soon - http://www.harrisburgceliacs.org/

http://www.glutenfreesource.com/

Wegman's

[harrisburg]

zella, thank you so much. your boyfriend is and inspiration to me. my girlfriend is also very sensitive to celiac. i will be more aware of what i've eaten and what i have handled. to help prevent her from getting sick. she does not get mood swings but she does get down on herself. i identify with what you had said. she is worth fighing for and learning what i can do. her parents dont really understand alot about it either and if she is sick more than a day they tend to give her flac. she lives her life around this. i support her and give her the room she needs. you have been very helpful thanks again.

[harrisburg]

happygirl, on Mar 2 2009, 06:58 PM, said:

If you live where your name implies, you have some great resources in your area.

There is a Celiac 101 class coming up soon - http://www.harrisburgceliacs.org/

http://www.glutenfreesource.com/

Wegman's

thanks for the reply. well the name is a play on my name. my girlfriend calls me it. thanks again

[harrisburg]

the comment you made when in the morning to see what kind of body you woke up with. that is her.she does well with it at times and at times no. so i do the best i can to help her. thanks