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My Brother Makes Fun Of Me By...!


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27 replies to this topic

Poll: Do I... (12 member(s) have cast votes)

What do I do?

  1. Just accept the taunting.(I let him taunt me for problems that are uncontrollable (6 votes [50.00%])

    Percentage of vote: 50.00%

  2. Tell him to stop politely(he may not respond) (2 votes [16.67%])

    Percentage of vote: 16.67%

  3. Tell him to stop unpolitely(he usually beats me arguments) (3 votes [25.00%])

    Percentage of vote: 25.00%

  4. Ask a parent to intervene ("Life isn't fair talk) (1 votes [8.33%])

    Percentage of vote: 8.33%

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#16 VioletBlue

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Posted 15 June 2009 - 10:39 AM

Having grown up the youngest of four I can safely say that it's a siblings job to torment you.

But he taunts you becuase he knows it's going to upset you. He only does it to get a reaction out of you. He's only taunting you becuase it's fun for him. If you ignore him when he does that there's no pay off for him in doing it; it's no longer fun. If you just turn and walk away he's going to be standing there looking stupid with no one to watch him.

So my suggestion is to not say a word, don't make a sound just turn and walk out of the room when he starts. It may take awhile but he'll stop doing it. Go into the bathroom and slam the door in his face if you have to. You're going to have to be the grown up here becuase he's obviously incapable of it. You're going to have to train him to behave.
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#17 mouse

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Posted 15 June 2009 - 12:16 PM

Since I have been gluten free, I am much calmer, so I would handle it a little differently.

I would put a nice smile (not a laughing one) on my face, shaking my head at the same time, Then say "sometimes Tim (or whatever his name is), you say the darnest things. But, I love you anyway". Then walk away and still with a nice smile on your face. He will give up and probably be proud of the maturity you have shown, in handling a very dificult time.

Good Luck.
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#18 Melusine

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Posted 16 June 2009 - 06:46 AM

Another option is when he does that kind of thing -remove yourself.
Simply tell him that you have no interest in hanging out with someone who's being nasty, as that is what it is.

And go do something else, without him. by giving his actions attention, you give him positive feedback (even if it sounds negative). By removing the attention and yourself, you give him negative feedback..which doesn't exactly perpetuate the cycle!

good luck!
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#19 GFinDC

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Posted 18 June 2009 - 02:12 PM

Teasing girls is just fun, lets face it. We had 8 kids in our family and the teasing was just a way of getting along. Boys do heckle each other too, not just girls.

This teasing is probably more bothersome to you right now, since you are newly diagnosed. It can take a while to get used to eating gluten free, and not missing the old things we ate. After you have been gluten-free for a while, I doubt you will even want those things that made you feel sick before. Especially after you learn to make gluten-free brownies (they have mixes), and get some Mi-Del brand gluten-free ginger cookies from the Whole Foods store to wave in his face.

If it really bothers you, I'd suggest talking to him directly, and letting him know it is not fun for you as you are trying hard to adjust to the diet. Even grown-ups have a hard time adjusting to this diet, some us get really whiny ya know. :blink: Maybe your Dad and brother could read some of the posts on this site. It might help them learn about the disease and how to deal with it. You might want to see if there is a support group in your area also, and take them to a meeting. The CSA (Celiac Sprue Association) has chapters in many states. It think it would help you if they are educated on the diet.

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Proverbs 25:16 "Hast thou found honey? eat so much as is sufficient for thee, lest thou be filled therewith, and vomit it."
Job 30:27 My bowels boiled, and rested not: the days of affliction prevented me.
Thyroid cyst and nodules, Lactose / casein intolerant. Diet positive, gene test pos, symptoms confirmed by Dr-head. My current bad list is: gluten, dairy, sulfites, coffee (the devil's brew), tea, Bug's Bunnies carrots, garbanzo beans of pain, soy- no joy, terrible turnips, tomatoes, peppers, potatoes, and hard work. have a good day! :-) Paul

#20 Jana315

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Posted 24 July 2009 - 11:48 AM

I'm really sorry that he's doing that and it certainly is unfair, but he's doing it to get a rise out of you & if he can't get the rise, he'll stop doing it. I'm sure it is hard, but just turn around and walk the other way, ie pretend you don't see him or just show him that his taunting isn't bothering you....maybe he will eventually stop and realize how very, very uncool he is being by doing that. Or tell him you'll eat if, but you'll vomit on him when you get sick...(not really, but you get my point).

Hope it gets better - that would be torture!
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#21 still tiredofdoctors!

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Posted 25 July 2009 - 06:49 PM

My sister and I are a lot older than you and your brother . . . ( a little "caveat" there!) and quite frankly, it seems that younger siblings must not change much.

She was cutting an Angel Food cake (not gluten-free) very close to the strawberries we were all going to share. I had gluten-free poundcake. I asked her if she could please stop for a moment to let me move the berries to a more safe location. She started mimicking me and mocking me - trying to start a fight - and was relentless.

Because gluten has only affected the cerebellum of my brain, I whacked her at the base of her skull with the palm of my hand. She said what was that for? I said, "Tell you what . . . let me do that until you walk the same way I do and you know it's permanent. Then I want you to let me know if you want me to continue doing that. Each time I ingest gluten essentially that is what happens to my brain. Want me to keep going?" I haven't heard anything about my celiac since.
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Lynne Previously "tiredofdoctors!!!", but I had SO much difficulty retrieving a lost password
Diagnosed with "Sprue-Related Ataxia" January 2005; Gluten-Free Lifestyle since August 2005 (Denial ain't just a river in Egypt)
To see additional diagnoses and what predisposed me to the seroconversin to celiac vs. gluten interolerant, view "About Me" page
"If you have to choose between being right and being kind . . . pick kind. Wayne Dyer, PhD

#22 darlindeb25

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Posted 26 July 2009 - 04:08 AM

Because gluten has only affected the cerebellum of my brain, I whacked her at the base of her skull with the palm of my hand. She said what was that for? I said, "Tell you what . . . let me do that until you walk the same way I do and you know it's permanent. Then I want you to let me know if you want me to continue doing that. Each time I ingest gluten essentially that is what happens to my brain. Want me to keep going?" I haven't heard anything about my celiac since.


I had to smile when I read this. :lol: I love how you handled her.



At 15, that is remarkably immature behavior.

My brother is 51 now, notice the numbers are just turned around. Age doesn't necessarily have anything to do with the way a person will treat you. Truthfully, I can see an immature 15 year old behaving this way, it's fairly normal, especially brothers and sisters. My kids could be like this with each other, still can, yet, they are very protective of each other, and would never allow another to do this to one of them.

I am intolerant of nightshades. I was on vacation in Michigan, my mom was making potato salad, which I can't eat. So, she puts a couple of potatoes aside, and tells me if I can't eat the salad, at least I can eat the potatoes. <_< Once again, I explained to her why I can't eat potatoes. You have to understand, she knows all about celiac disease...my sister, dad, and I all are gluten free. So, when my brother stopped over, I came walking into the house, and she was telling him about me and this ridiculous notion that I can't eat potatoes. He laughs and tell me he has a gift for me in the back of his truck. A 50# bag of potatoes! :angry: He wasn't being silly, he was being cruel, he thought it very funny. Many times he has told us there isn't anything wrong with us that a good dose of barley soup wouldn't fix.

There will always be people like this in your life. Like someone said, just be the bigger person, and if you ever feel like retaliating against him, remember how he makes you feel.
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Deb
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We urge all doctors to take time to listen to your patients.. don't "isolate" symptoms but look at the whole spectrum. If a patient tells you s/he feels as if s/he's falling apart and "nothing seems to be working properly", chances are s/he's right!

"The calm river of your life approaches the rocky chute of the rapids - flow on through. You are the same water. The rocks cannot hurt you. Remember, now and then, that you are the water and not the boat. Flow on!

#23 debmidge

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Posted 26 July 2009 - 06:29 AM

This is one that just bothers me in general. While it is true that life isn't fair, that usually is used to explain the randomness of things that can happen to people. To use it to justify bad behaviour is just wrong. Teasing someone is not "life not being fair", it is someone making a choice to be cruel.



I agree.
Your home and family should be your sanctuary...you expect that kind of attitude from the world, not your family.



Dear Gluten Free For Me:
1) You need to do more than one thing on your checklist. Since your family won't step up to the plate on your behalf & remind your brother that you have something uncontrollable going on, you've got to ignore the immature 15 year old. Really ignore him, no tears, no trying to defend yourself and over explain your diet to him, no discussion about your diet or restrictions or fair or unfair, no discussion about food at all with him or around him.

2) Behind the scenes without your brother knowing, going to parents by explaining that you understand the "Life isn't fair" part , "Yes I know I have a limited diet, but I expect love and support from my family." I do not feel that your brother may necessarily stop doing it, but when you let it go as being an emotional "trigger" for you, his taunting will bother you less and he might stop it. Pretty soon he'll probably have a girlfriend -- probably when school starts up again -- and won't be bothering you so much.

And YES, he shouldn't "spit in the wind." This means he shouldn't make fun of your gluten/lactose free diet because at any time in his life he too could come down with this. The possibility is there.
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#24 Juliet

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Posted 14 August 2009 - 02:23 PM

I'm the oldest of several, and it is a fact of life that particularly during the teen years (and sometimes for the rest of your life) you will be teased by your siblings. I was the oldest, so I did the most, but it was still given to me, too. I was vegetarian for years and for some reason every single person in my immediate family, including in-laws, thought it was funny to offer me meat every time they ate. They didn't tire of it after 15 years. When my son was diagnosed with Celiac Disease at the age of 2, they were all very sensitive about not teasing him (way too young), but when I was later diagnosed, they started constantly teasing me about gluten. None of it is mean-spirited, but it is getting very old.

And a brother's type of teasing can be a lot tougher than a girl's. A female friend of mine had a fresh bruise somewhere on her arms every day during her pre-teen and teen years while her older brothers were still living at home. And my husband and his 21 year old younger sister tease each other so much sometimes that people actually wonder if they like each other at all (and they really do - it's how they show they care). It's true, you can tell your parents and have them tell him to stop, but you know as well as I do that the moment your parents are gone it will be that much worse.

My advice would be to just ignore it or give it right back with some smart a** comments of your own. Don't let it show that it gets to you. And although it may not seem like it right now, soon enough his teasing you about food you can't eat won't bother you. After 2 1/2 years of being strictly gluten free, I actually get a little sick to my stomach looking at anything that is definitely made with gluten. And I say this as someone who ate gluten products for well over 30 years before going gluten free. I can make nearly everything I ate before gluten free, and I'm not exagerating when I say it tastes better, especially since I feel better now, too, after eating it. And if you think it's because I don't know what gluten food tastes like anymore, almost everything I've made has been shared with people who eat gluten and they love my stuff, too. My youngest sister, in fact, bought gluten free flours in order to replicate my blueberry applesauce walnut bread, and she eats gluten with abandon and teases me every time with a, "guess what I'm eating right now?"

So, suck it up, get tough, fight back if you need to, and learn how to cook - there are some great things to eat out there! And as a mother, I do think your older brother needs a smack upside his head!
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#25 JNBunnie1

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Posted 29 August 2009 - 08:12 AM

My youngest sister, in fact, bought gluten free flours in order to replicate my blueberry applesauce walnut bread, and she eats gluten with abandon and teases me every time with a, "guess what I'm eating right now?"

I realize this is off topic, but maybe you think you could pop over to the recipes section and post your LOVELY sounding bread? Thanks! You'll find my cinnamon buns there!
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If you're going through hell, keep going. ~Winston Churchill

#26 captaincrab55

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Posted 29 August 2009 - 08:31 AM

Accept it... I wish my brother was alive to taunt me...
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I'm a New Man Without GLUTEN!

#27 heathen

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Posted 04 September 2009 - 04:20 PM

about the lactose intolerance... it goes with the celiac disease since the part of your intestines that digests milk is destroyed by the celiac antibodies. it should get better as you heal.
as for brothers, i have one, and they can be buttheads. but they get over it most of the time. put him on ignore and wait for him to grow up. he might also be a little scared that he could get it, too.
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#28 MonKol

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Posted 10 September 2009 - 06:31 PM

:( first off, my brother, Tizoc, who currently has no medical problems (i.e. intolerance, allergies) eats gluten in front of my face, saying, "Here's the ones you'd be eating." *gulp*
This also annoys me because when I complain to my dad he says: "You know, life isn't fair."

I agree with my dad but it shouldn't be made worse by taunting.What do I do?

P.S. I have lactose intolerance AND Celiac disease. and I have known about Lactose intolerance for 2 years and celiac disease since Tuesday. This isnt normal for a twelve year old kid! is it? My brother is fifteen.
Am I just unlucky? email: nelsnils@gmail.com



where do you live. Id be happy to kick his ass. When he's in the street bleeding and asks me "what did i do" ill smile and say, "hey lifes not fair"
;)
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