[halfrunner]

I'm starting off this post by saying that I know my DH is a grown adult who can make his own decisions.

That said, my DH decided to do a "trial" of being gluten-free so that he could see if it helped with his gas symptoms, sleep issues, and some other related gastrointestinal issues that seemed similar to celiac though not as severe. He went six weeks and saw some relief, especially in the sleep area and crankiness levels. He was like a completely different person. Plus, his gas, bloating, and intestinal cramps eased up. (I suspect he thought this would "fix" the problems in 6 weeks, despite what I told him about how long it could take.)

On Saturday, he started a week long experiment to go back to gluten. He wanted to see what would happen. By Sunday he was back to having issues. As of yesterday, he still hasn't decided whether or not go back to gluten-free or stay eating what he calls "real" food.

I am struggling with trying to understand this choice, although I am aware that the food is very different in some ways. He says he can't decide which is worse, eating food that is "terrible" (I'm trying really hard to not take that personally since I make 90% of what he's been eating and he told me was tasting good) or feeling miserable.

I'm also trying to not force him a way he doesn't want to go, but for crying out loud, if you feel miserable, why not fix it???? (I should say I understand very well how hard it is to give up certain foods, I have changed my diet almost completely over the last 7 years to put the best food I can into it). While eating out has been a hassle for him, he doesn't really care for eating out 99% of the time anyway, so I don't understand what the problem is.

He thinks this only concerns him (which is NOT the case since my nose, eyes, and ears work just fine and I am very aware of how different things were on gluten-free). He also thinks that this isn't going to hurt him further down the road since it's just a gluten intolerance, and six weeks is enough of a trial. My thoughts (having done all the research for him before he went gluten-free) are that he's risking more than discomfort, leading to the potential for more health issues down the road. I made sure to lay out all of what I've learned here and elsewhere before he started this experiment (and we're both librarians, so he knows the sources I've been looking at), so he can't say he doesn't know what may happen down the line.

I KNOW that there is nothing I can do, that this needs to be his decision, but I needed to vent somewhere that will (hopefully) understand. Admittedly, I enjoyed the (significant) decrease in gas odors in my presence, as well as the change (for the better) in his overall self (he was extremely cranky and darn near intolerable to be around for a while), and the lack of complaining of how miserable he felt. And I'm honestly not trying to be petty, that stuff was hard to live with for both of us. Talking about this hasn't really helped, because he knows what I would do if I was in his shoes...

Sigh...

[momxyz]

how frustrating for you!

Unfortunately I think the best you can hope for is that he has a bad enough reaction to something, that he has cause to rethink what he is doing. Has he had a big bad pasta meal yet? (not that I am suggesting aiding and abetting...)

When my teenager first went gluten free, she had an evening "off the wagon" with her boyfriend. (In the beginning it was easy at home, hard around friends). When she came home she was in this very irritable witchy mood. (Which had been common before going gluten free; her moodiness decreased noticeably once she was on the diet.) Although I could see the cause and effect that evening, she couldn't see it in herself.

Fortunately she stuck with the diet. A few weeks later she was tempted by some of grandma's baked goodies. Within a half hour she had cramps and was in the bathroom. Since then, she has stuck to her gluten free guns, even in social gatherings. I think that morning attack was what it took for her to learn to resist temptation.

[halfrunner]

momxyz, on Oct 21 2009, 01:24 PM, said:

how frustrating for you!

Unfortunately I think the best you can hope for is that he has a bad enough reaction to something, that he has cause to rethink what he is doing. Has he had a big bad pasta meal yet? (not that I am suggesting aiding and abetting...)

He has, the very first day. And so far, he's still resisting. I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if it's the bread & pasta change that he had the hardest time with.

[ajsmom514]

I went gluten-free (the first time) two years ago. I went cold turkey and it relieved symptoms of lymphocytic colitis. Similar symptoms as your husband was experiencing, plus some that I didn't even know that I was having due to gluten... grumpiness, "foggy" mind, etc.

After a year on the diet (around last Thanksgiving), I decided that I wanted pumpkin pie and all that went with a holiday meal without any of the nitpickiness that comes along with a gluten free diet. I was also struggling financially, and since gluten-free eating is not the cheapest way to go, I decided I was going to eat what I wanted. For the next 10 months, I went crazy with the gluten. Meaning I ate like a "normal" person. But all of my symptoms returned with a vengeance. Plus, I gained about 20 pounds in the last 10 months.

So, because I'm tired of feeling crappy and I'm not liking the "extra baggage" I've acquired , I've decided to go to a full gluten-free diet. I've noticed that within the last year, there is a lot more "mainstream" products identified as gluten-free and I've taken more time with cooking and preparation this time around. It's still not the cheapest diet around, but I can manage as long as I'm feeling good.

I think your husband will make the decision to go back gluten-free when he realizes how crappy he really does feel on a "normal" diet.

Gina

[GFinDC]

Does he keep a food journal? It might help him see what affects his diet has on him if he writes down what he was eating each day and how he felt, or onay issues he had health wise. It wouldn't be bad idea to start a journal now while he is on the sauce and then if he did another gluten-free test he could compare. Hmmm, maybe you could keep a journal too! That might open his eyes also. Cranky guy in the house today ate donuts for breakfast, smelly feller had beer for dinner etc.. He could record how his sleep was also, if that is affected.

Maybe he is missing his gluteney treats? You could get him some gluten-free cookies and such and some Glutino fiber bread. I have two brothers who are probably either celiac or gluten intolerant but they don't want to change. So not everyone gets it I guess.

[halfrunner]

GFinDC, on Oct 21 2009, 03:19 PM, said:

Does he keep a food journal? It might help him see what affects his diet has on him if he writes down what he was eating each day and how he felt, or onay issues he had health wise. It wouldn't be bad idea to start a journal now while he is on the sauce and then if he did another gluten-free test he could compare. Hmmm, maybe you could keep a journal too! That might open his eyes also. Cranky guy in the house today ate donuts for breakfast, smelly feller had beer for dinner etc.. He could record how his sleep was also, if that is affected.

Maybe he is missing his gluteney treats? You could get him some gluten-free cookies and such and some Glutino fiber bread. I have two brothers who are probably either celiac or gluten intolerant but they don't want to change. So not everyone gets it I guess.

He won't keep a food journal, but maybe I should! Then again, I'm trying to not force the issue, so I'm not sure how he'd take that. He can get really sensitive about things that I don't think are a big deal. I did try reinforcing how much better I like his gluten-free self without pushing too hard, and I did so very clearly on two separate and not initiated by me occasions. (I have been chewing on my tongue a lot since Saturday. )

I've been making him cookies & he loves the gluten-free brownies I made him. The storebought breads didn't go over well at all, as a matter of fact, they ended up in the garbage with only two slices missing. He still has his chips, his chocolate, cereal, lunch meat, cheese, & soda. I can't think of anything else he's missing that I didn't account for.

*Brainstorm alert*** I wonder if he's tired of having to be a label reader, going out to eat call aheader, etc. He hates dieting and isn't disciplined enough to stick to much of anything for long. He's happiest sitting in a chair watching TV. (And freely admits to being very lazy.)

But I still don't see how being miserable physically is the better option.

[Ahorsesoul]

When I found out I needed to be gluten free I promised myself I would not eat food that didn't taste great. It's expensive but I learned to just eat a little less than before to cut down on cost. I suggest you make your kitchen gluten free and eat like he does to support him.

Udi bread is the best for sandwiches, I've only tried the white so far. Order it or find a store that can get it for you.
Against the grain Baguettes is great for french bread or French Dip sandwiches
Bi-Aglut pasta (it's made from corn) is the best pasta I've tried, tasted like it's real pasta
Pamela's Baking and Pancake mix is good for most every thing else
Schar products are good: pasta, cookies, crackers
Red Bridge beer is good (not much of a beer drinker so this is a very personal view)

Going gluten free is a total life style change and very hard to do. He might fine it easier if you were "in his shoes" so to speak with eating the same as he does.

I decided several years ago that my health was one of my life goals. It still was hard for me to go gluten free. Now I would not go back because I feel so good.

[ang1e0251]

I have been married for 32 years. When we hit 30 years, we weren't able to make a big celebration but we shook hands to agree to 30 more years! When my health became an issue and I went gluten-free, he wanted to committ again. This time we agreed we both wanted to live a long life together. We committed to do whatever was necesary to insure our health not for one's self but for the other's sake and our children. This pledge makes me think twice about health choices as mentally I will do more for my family than for myself. I wanted to be well but I want to be well for them more. He's doing his part. When I mentioned his spare tire seemed to indicate his glucose spiking every day, diabetes is dominant in his family, he gave up most sugar and fruit juice and has lost 20 pounds.

I don't know if your DH will do it for others, but if the moment is right, you might mention it. I found it an effective tool for me.

[halfrunner]

Ahorsesoul, on Oct 21 2009, 05:33 PM, said:

When I found out I needed to be gluten free I promised myself I would not eat food that didn't taste great. It's expensive but I learned to just eat a little less than before to cut down on cost. I suggest you make your kitchen gluten free and eat like he does to support him.

Udi bread is the best for sandwiches, I've only tried the white so far. Order it or find a store that can get it for you.
Against the grain Baguettes is great for french bread or French Dip sandwiches
Bi-Aglut pasta (it's made from corn) is the best pasta I've tried, tasted like it's real pasta
Pamela's Baking and Pancake mix is good for most every thing else
Schar products are good: pasta, cookies, crackers
Red Bridge beer is good (not much of a beer drinker so this is a very personal view)

Going gluten free is a total life style change and very hard to do. He might fine it easier if you were "in his shoes" so to speak with eating the same as he does.

I decided several years ago that my health was one of my life goals. It still was hard for me to go gluten free. Now I would not go back because I feel so good.

I've tried to eat much of what I make for him, but after the first couple of days of both of us eating gluten free in the house, I started having some of my own gas & cramping/bloating issues (I can't eat soy or corn), so I backed off some of the gluten free foods. He sees me cooking most of our meals with him in mind. I've tried to eat most of my wheat filled stuff (which there isn't a lot of anyway) out of the house, but the pasta (a big part of both of our diets) is hard for me thanks to not being able to tolerate any corn products, and the corn and corn/quinoa pastas are the only ones that he likes.

So I'm not sure that this is where the problem is, although I totally agree that going gluten free is indeed extremely hard to do and as hard on the budget as it is on the psyche.

Ang1e025, I've tried this in the past to no avail, especially where exercise is concerned, and why I'm trying to hard to not try and force him to do this for me. But it's a thought, and I'm sure I'd have fewer teeth marks gouged into my tongue.

[momxyz]

halfrunner, on Oct 22 2009, 05:03 PM, said:

I've tried to eat much of what I make for him, but after the first couple of days of both of us eating gluten free in the house, I started having some of my own gas & cramping/bloating issues (I can't eat soy or corn), so I backed off some of the gluten free foods. He sees me cooking most of our meals with him in mind. I've tried to eat most of my wheat filled stuff (which there isn't a lot of anyway) out of the house, but the pasta (a big part of both of our diets) is hard for me thanks to not being able to tolerate any corn products, and the corn and corn/quinoa pastas are the only ones that he likes.

So I'm not sure that this is where the problem is, although I totally agree that going gluten free is indeed extremely hard to do and as hard on the budget as it is on the psyche.

Ang1e025, I've tried this in the past to no avail, especially where exercise is concerned, and why I'm trying to hard to not try and force him to do this for me. But it's a thought, and I'm sure I'd have fewer teeth marks gouged into my tongue.

Did you try any of the rice pastas out there?

Opinions will vary on this board - we're all individuals after all! But my husband and I really enjoy brown rice pasta. He's a good Italian and doesn't have to be gluten free, but he's happy to eat the Tinkyada brown rice penne. Its not a sacrfice for him - he genuinely likes it.

[halfrunner]

momxyz, on Oct 22 2009, 03:28 PM, said:

Did you try any of the rice pastas out there?

Opinions will vary on this board - we're all individuals after all! But my husband and I really enjoy brown rice pasta. He's a good Italian and doesn't have to be gluten free, but he's happy to eat the Tinkyada brown rice penne. Its not a sacrfice for him - he genuinely likes it.

I like it, he didn't. I tried hiding it in lo mein one night and it didn't get eaten, well his didn't anyway.

[momxyz]

halfrunner, on Oct 22 2009, 06:40 PM, said:

I like it, he didn't. I tried hiding it in lo mein one night and it didn't get eaten, well his didn't anyway.

this wouldn' t be a solution for dishes like lo mein or goulash...

but for nites when its just pasta sauce and meatballs...

how about separatly prepared pastas? Corn for him and rice for you?

[Rothane]

Ahorsesoul, on Oct 21 2009, 09:33 PM, said:

Red Bridge beer is good (not much of a beer drinker so this is a very personal view)

From the perspective of a beer drinker, Redbridge is, at best, okay. I suppose if you primarily drink American-style beers like Coors or Budweister, it's fine. But if he's a real beer fan who drinks microbrews and craft beers, it's not even remotely a substitute. My DH and I are beer snobs from a long way back; once DH was diagnosed with celiac disease, we tried all the gluten-free beers we could find locally, declared them anywhere from "meh" to bad and decided to switch to hard cider instead. One can hope that it will improve over time, as it's still a fairly new gluten-free option.

We're still new at the gluten-free diet; we just finished our third week. For the most part, it's not that hard at home, since we're both foodies and could easily change our favorite recipes to be gluten-free. But going out is a lot more difficult, especially with a husband who hates creating a fuss and doesn't like the idea of discussing his medical issues with strangers. He's good about asking for gluten-free menus, but it's really against his nature. Before he was diagnosed, he even avoided ordering anything where he'd need to make any special requests, like leaving off an ingredient he didn't like.

[Gemini]

halfrunner, on Oct 21 2009, 03:41 PM, said:

I'm starting off this post by saying that I know my DH is a grown adult who can make his own decisions.

That said, my DH decided to do a "trial" of being gluten-free so that he could see if it helped with his gas symptoms, sleep issues, and some other related gastrointestinal issues that seemed similar to celiac though not as severe. He went six weeks and saw some relief, especially in the sleep area and crankiness levels. He was like a completely different person. Plus, his gas, bloating, and intestinal cramps eased up. (I suspect he thought this would "fix" the problems in 6 weeks, despite what I told him about how long it could take.)

On Saturday, he started a week long experiment to go back to gluten. He wanted to see what would happen. By Sunday he was back to having issues. As of yesterday, he still hasn't decided whether or not go back to gluten-free or stay eating what he calls "real" food.

I am struggling with trying to understand this choice, although I am aware that the food is very different in some ways. He says he can't decide which is worse, eating food that is "terrible" (I'm trying really hard to not take that personally since I make 90% of what he's been eating and he told me was tasting good) or feeling miserable.

I'm also trying to not force him a way he doesn't want to go, but for crying out loud, if you feel miserable, why not fix it???? (I should say I understand very well how hard it is to give up certain foods, I have changed my diet almost completely over the last 7 years to put the best food I can into it). While eating out has been a hassle for him, he doesn't really care for eating out 99% of the time anyway, so I don't understand what the problem is.

He thinks this only concerns him (which is NOT the case since my nose, eyes, and ears work just fine and I am very aware of how different things were on gluten-free). He also thinks that this isn't going to hurt him further down the road since it's just a gluten intolerance, and six weeks is enough of a trial. My thoughts (having done all the research for him before he went gluten-free) are that he's risking more than discomfort, leading to the potential for more health issues down the road. I made sure to lay out all of what I've learned here and elsewhere before he started this experiment (and we're both librarians, so he knows the sources I've been looking at), so he can't say he doesn't know what may happen down the line.

I KNOW that there is nothing I can do, that this needs to be his decision, but I needed to vent somewhere that will (hopefully) understand. Admittedly, I enjoyed the (significant) decrease in gas odors in my presence, as well as the change (for the better) in his overall self (he was extremely cranky and darn near intolerable to be around for a while), and the lack of complaining of how miserable he felt. And I'm honestly not trying to be petty, that stuff was hard to live with for both of us. Talking about this hasn't really helped, because he knows what I would do if I was in his shoes...

Sigh...

I think maybe your husband and mine are twins!

I am about 60% sure my husband is either a Celiac or he is GS. I did his gene testing after I did mine for Celiac and he is a double DQ1....which is definitely GS and maybe Celiac related. He has always been thin and at 50 years old, eats like teen-age football player and never gains weight. He has yet to hit 150 lbs at 5'7" tall. He showed slight anemia on his last set of blood work about a year ago, which alarmed me because it's very difficult for a male to become anemic. Add to that his TSH was low....not hyper thyroid low but getting very close and he is always fatigued. Falls asleep on the couch every night by 9:00pm.

He doesn't exhibit much in the way of gastro symptoms BUT if he eats a large gluteny meal away from home, he gets burpy and doesn't feel as good as he does after one of my gluten-free meals. He also did a gluten-free trial for 1 month and proclaimed he felt no difference so back to gluten he went.

His family all have neuro symptoms, his sister is bi-polar and his nephew definitely has gastro and neuro symptoms, which he acknowledges is a food problem. He has listened to me but is a poor college student so cannot go gluten-free right now. No support from family and no money so I understand.

I have been totally unable to understand my husband's reluctance to go gluten-free for life. He went to his PCP and the idiot did one test, the IgA and it was negative so he told my husband there was no problem and that's what he wanted to hear. It's OK for me to be a Celiac and he supports me 100% BUT not him. He loves everything I cook and eats it readily but has gluten cereal and bread for breakfast and lunch. What the hell is this emotional attachment to bread? You'd think I asked him to cut off an arm or something! I am not emotional about food and slid into this diet so easily, I have actually ticked people off. I know I was deathly ill at time of diagnosis and maybe that's the key....he hasn't gotten sick enough to convince himself. Maybe I'm weird but I have no complaints about gluten-free food in general. Maybe to a Celiac, the gluten-free stuff does taste good because the regular food is so deadly. I am still trying to figure it out.

I cannot offer you any answers but can totally understand your frustration. I am living your problem also and I just hope and pray he doesn't end up dying on me early....like when we start retirement in 15 years!

[momxyz]

"I know I was deathly ill at time of diagnosis and maybe that's the key....he hasn't gotten sick enough to convince himself."

I think this is the key to both of your guys....

My husband gave up beer. Not because of celiac's but because of gout. When he was first diagnosed, his doctor advised him to change his diet.... and kick the beer. He made a passing attempt at it - but then went back to his Bud. After a few years of this he finally started experiencing joint pain so bad, that he finallly quit. And guess what. His pain decreased. He still has attacks and problems, but not nearly so bad as before.

He didn't have the motivation until things got pretty bad...