[seezee]

My daughter is ten and in fifth grade. I met with her teacher before school started about how to handle celiac in school. At the meeting she said that she would like to bake with the class and I said I would think about it. I called the GI department at Children's, talked it over with my daughter, and my sister who's son has celiac. All three said it wasn't a good idea bc they were worried about cross contamination. I sent the nurse at the school what I thought was a nice thanks but no thanks note and she wrote back no problem. The nurse would let the teacher know and my daughter would skip the baking.

Then the following week the teacher baked anyways and told my daughter it was safe for her. dd refused to eat it because she worries about being sick and is super cautious. Ever since then every time I talk to this teacher about anything she brings up the baking. How she spent $18.99 on a bag of gluten-free flour, etc. etc. How much all the other kids love baking. How it should have been my daughter who told her she didn't want to bake not me. It makes me want to scream. Just wanted to complain, since I find it isn't productive to scream at a teacher. It is not as if I thought - oh I will give my kid an incurable autoimmune disease, so she can get out of baking on Friday afternoons.

We had a conference last week and she brought it up again! She brought it up at the back to school night and told how much the kids love baking. She brought it up when we bumped into her in the hallway to talk about something else.

How do you feel about baking at school? Our GI said "no" and I worried about cross contamination and I find even when people have the best intentions they mess up. (eg my aunt bought my daughter wheat free Newman's cookies as a treat not realizing they are made with Barley flour instead or my mom is far sighted and can't read the tiny print on the labels and sometimes messes up and she is really trying.) How old should kids be when they make these type of decisions? How do you make someone understand this?

[taweavmo3]

Not much time to write, but I think the teacher is flat our wrong on this one. Baking would be an absolute no in my book....gluten free is much too difficult for anyone not on the diet to understand. Most people on the diet take a good 6 months to stop making mistakes, and even then mistakes still happen. We don't let anyone cook for our kids, no matter if they buy a Betty Crocker mix or whatever, cross contamination is something most people really don't get unless they have to live it.

I would really be ticked that the teacher ignored your instructions....and I would probably go to the principal. We did this last year after a speech therapist just didn't "get it" and ignored the fact that I told her on the phone to not give my dd the treat...she did anyway b/c she thought it was safe b/c it didn't say "gluten" in the ingredients.

Hope you get things straightened out! We have had great teachers for the most part, but we did have a rough Kindy year for my dd. The teacher had 20+ years experience, and was a great teacher, but not so enlightened regarding food allergies. She didn't listen to a word I said about Celiac, and Emmie got sick several times that year...it was awful. I really feel for ya, it is so hard to not have the teacher on the same page!

[soulcurrent]

I second the idea to go to the principal. Not only did she ignore your instructions but she continues to harass you about it. Uncool.

[RobynJ]

I am new to all this- but if you had a note from your GI, you asked her not to- as her mother, and she obviously still does not understand that she is putting your child at risk of getting sick. I would go to the principal. I think the teacher needs to understand that this is not you trying to deny your daughter the opportunity - but you are trying to keep her healthy.

[Yup]

seezee, on Nov 7 2009, 03:43 PM, said:

My daughter is ten and in fifth grade. I met with her teacher before school started about how to handle celiac in school. At the meeting she said that she would like to bake with the class and I said I would think about it. I called the GI department at Children's, talked it over with my daughter, and my sister who's son has celiac. All three said it wasn't a good idea bc they were worried about cross contamination. I sent the nurse at the school what I thought was a nice thanks but no thanks note and she wrote back no problem. The nurse would let the teacher know and my daughter would skip the baking.

Then the following week the teacher baked anyways and told my daughter it was safe for her. dd refused to eat it because she worries about being sick and is super cautious. Ever since then every time I talk to this teacher about anything she brings up the baking. How she spent $18.99 on a bag of gluten-free flour, etc. etc. How much all the other kids love baking. How it should have been my daughter who told her she didn't want to bake not me. It makes me want to scream. Just wanted to complain, since I find it isn't productive to scream at a teacher. It is not as if I thought - oh I will give my kid an incurable autoimmune disease, so she can get out of baking on Friday afternoons.

We had a conference last week and she brought it up again! She brought it up at the back to school night and told how much the kids love baking. She brought it up when we bumped into her in the hallway to talk about something else.

How do you feel about baking at school? Our GI said "no" and I worried about cross contamination and I find even when people have the best intentions they mess up. (eg my aunt bought my daughter wheat free Newman's cookies as a treat not realizing they are made with Barley flour instead or my mom is far sighted and can't read the tiny print on the labels and sometimes messes up and she is really trying.) How old should kids be when they make these type of decisions? How do you make someone understand this?

My question is, how does baking fit into the curriculum? Is she covering a math concept? If so, how long will this last? I would approach your principal with these questions. I would also explain that Celiac is serious, and by having any cross containmination could harm your child's immune system.

[seezee]

Miila's Mom, on Nov 7 2009, 09:03 PM, said:

My question is, how does baking fit into the curriculum? Is she covering a math concept? If so, how long will this last? I would approach your principal with these questions. I would also explain that Celiac is serious, and by having any cross containmination could harm your child's immune system.

I did go to the principal and since the school has a strict no food sharing policy because of food allergies and I believe she made the teacher stop the baking. I believe this is why the teacher is pissed and brings it up every time we have a conversation. She brought up the baking at the curriculum night and told everyone how much the children loved it an how it was this incredible thing, yada, yada, yada. It was not part of the curriculum in any way. It was supposed to be a fun activity "choice" for the last part of the day on Fridays, others were doodling and scrap booking, which is why I didn't see any reason we shouldn't opt out quietly. The thing that makes me really angry is when she brings up the price of the bag of Pamela's and then points to it as an example of how I am over-parenting and that my kid should be the one telling her these things. She was diagnosed in June. It is not as if we have been dealing with this for years. I am completely aware of how much gluten-free products are. I also know how sick dd got when we were visiting relatives and trying our best to cook in other people's kitchens.

[TrillumHunter]

Your daughter did tell her. She refused to eat what she knew would be unsafe for her. I say bravo to your kid! She stood up to an obviously pushy and overbearing authority figure. What an awesome strong girl you are raising!

Can you give the teacher the money for the flour? Tell her that your sorry she felt the need to override your dr's orders. Tell her you are feeling harassed. If you don't have a 504 in place, it might be a good idea to get one. That makes it a legal issue to go over your head. It's sad it has to come to this sometimes, but some people just don't get it.

Give your girl a lot of credit! Refusing to eat that stuff took lots of moxie!

[chiroptera]

OMG, I am SO sorry! First of all, PLEASE do not give her the money for the mix!!! After how nasty she has been? Heck NO. And if the harassment continues I would go to the superintendent. This is no different than harrassing a special needs child for needing a diaper. Everyone is different, you did ALL the right things and this teacher is a creep!!!!!!!!!

And, what on earth are they doing baking in 5th grade? All the time? I shouldn't be surprised though as my twin daughters missed a week of 4th grade last week and only had 2 hours of makeup work. They told us "see we don't do much at school." That is why we homeschool them in math as they waste the day in public school.

Keep you chin up, be proud of your daughter!!!!

[TrillumHunter]

She'll never take the money. She will be embarrassed that she made such a big deal about it.

[seezee]

TrillumHunter, on Nov 8 2009, 05:02 AM, said:

Your daughter did tell her. She refused to eat what she knew would be unsafe for her. I say bravo to your kid! She stood up to an obviously pushy and overbearing authority figure. What an awesome strong girl you are raising!

Can you give the teacher the money for the flour? Tell her that your sorry she felt the need to override your dr's orders. Tell her you are feeling harassed. If you don't have a 504 in place, it might be a good idea to get one. That makes it a legal issue to go over your head. It's sad it has to come to this sometimes, but some people just don't get it.

Give your girl a lot of credit! Refusing to eat that stuff took lots of moxie!

Thanks I really appreciate the support.

[GFinDC]

Taking a look from another angle. It seems to me the teacher meant well, even though she probably doesn't have a clue about cross contamination issues etc. She attempted to include the child in a school activity the other kids were doing, and spent her own money to try and make that happen. It would have made more sense for her to contact you first before taking that on though, since it is a medical condition and it's doubtful she has the knowledge about celiac you do. Also since it is a medical condition, she should not have included the child without getting permission from the parent. It's kind of like a field trip, the schools ask for permission before taking the kids out of their normal environment. It seems like she assumed she knew what the risks were and could evaluate reasonableness of the activities risks herself, without any parental input. I don't think that makes her a bad person, but kind of a normal person who doesn't understand the gluten-free diet and it's requirements. The school would probably do well to consider a policy about these type of situations, to guide them with any medical conditions a child might have. A policy of always getting parental approval before putting a child with a medical condtion in a potentially aggravating situation would seem helpful. If you need permission slips for a field trip, it seems reasonable to consider permission slips for medical risks also. Maybe the have such a policy but she didn't think the situation fit? She could probably use some education on celiac issues.

[seezee]

GFinDC, on Nov 8 2009, 11:34 AM, said:

Taking a look from another angle. It seems to me the teacher meant well, even though she probably doesn't have a clue about cross contamination issues etc. She attempted to include the child in a school activity the other kids were doing, and spent her own money to try and make that happen. It would have made more sense for her to contact you first before taking that on though, since it is a medical condition and it's doubtful she has the knowledge about celiac you do. Also since it is a medical condition, she should not have included the child without getting permission from the parent. It's kind of like a field trip, the schools ask for permission before taking the kids out of their normal environment. It seems like she assumed she knew what the risks were and could evaluate reasonableness of the activities risks herself, without any parental input. I don't think that makes her a bad person, but kind of a normal person who doesn't understand the gluten-free diet and it's requirements. The school would probably do well to consider a policy about these type of situations, to guide them with any medical conditions a child might have. A policy of always getting parental approval before putting a child with a medical condtion in a potentially aggravating situation would seem helpful. If you need permission slips for a field trip, it seems reasonable to consider permission slips for medical risks also. Maybe the have such a policy but she didn't think the situation fit? She could probably use some education on celiac issues.

This is the correspondence I had with the school on the first day. I met with the teacher and the school nurse the week before. In our discussion we decided that the teacher would send any recipes to me to review before she ate anything at school. I sent this to the school nurse two days later as a follow up. I deleted the actual names. The teacher was new to the school so I didn't have a way to contact her. I understand that she can make a mistake what I don't understand is why she brings it up every time we talk as an example of my daughter's bad behavior.

S--

Totally understandable. I forwarded your e-mail to Beth. I think this could
be handled with Zaida opting out of the baking and not making a big deal
out of it at all.--Ixx

On Tue, 15 Sep 2009 09:54:25 -0400, sxxx<sxx>
wrote:
Hi Ixxx,

Z and D and I had a conversation at dinner last night. She
really prefers that she only eat foods from home and doesn't want to
worry about trying foods baked at CFS. She doesn't want to stop the
other kids from baking or be difficult about it and she appreciates
the effort to try gluten-free baking, but it really makes her too nervous. Hope
that's OK with everyone.

Thanks,
S

--
IU
School Nurse

[GFinDC]

seezee, on Nov 10 2009, 12:47 PM, said:

This is the correspondence I had with the school on the first day. I met with the teacher and the school nurse the week before. In our discussion we decided that the teacher would send any recipes to me to review before she ate anything at school.

Huh, sounds like you were willing to have her participate right? As long as they gave you a chance to review the recipes first. So it seems the school didn't follow through the way you expected by sharing the recipes before hand? I wonder why she brings it up also. Maybe it's that she wants to work it out somehow?

Well, I am not at all critical about it, you have every right of course to control the things she is exposed to at school, if they would affect her health.

[seezee]

GFinDC, on Nov 11 2009, 04:40 PM, said:

Huh, sounds like you were willing to have her participate right? As long as they gave you a chance to review the recipes first. So it seems the school didn't follow through the way you expected by sharing the recipes before hand? I wonder why she brings it up also. Maybe it's that she wants to work it out somehow?

Well, I am not at all critical about it, you have every right of course to control the things she is exposed to at school, if they would affect her health.

The teacher brings it up repeatedly as the prime example of something that my kid should be responsible for communicating to her. It is used as the example of how she is not an 'independent learner'. I think if she was diabetic for example no one would have an expectation like that. Even a super 'independent' kid shouldn't be responsible for communicating information like that. It mixes academic expectations with her medical needs. It is hurtful as well. It already kind of stinks that she shouldn't participate in something that all the other children enjoy. I think it makes it a bit worse to dwell on it two months later. If she had just dropped it, I wouldn't be complaining, but it comes up in every conversation about things completely unrelated.

[Salax]

Wow. If it were me, I'd give the teacher a $20 dollar bill and then ask her, "are you done now? can we move on?" With a huge smile on my face.....But I am sh*t disturber as my father tells me.

Good luck with that teacher.....looks like she doesn't know how to let go.

Bravo to your little one though!