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Why Do People Have To Be So Mean?


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49 replies to this topic

#1 bean

 
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Posted 07 May 2005 - 12:10 PM

So, anyway, this morning I am talking to my parents and telling them about this book I bought last night (Dangerous Grains) and how just about every major health problem I've had in my life can be linked to Celiac/malabsorption.

I was so excited about the idea of a gluten-free diet healing me and helping me to get rid of so many troubles that never seem to go away. My dad said, "Don't count on it. Don't get your hopes up. You don't even know if going gluten-free is going to help you at all. Don't get so excited about it getting rid of your problems because it probably wont."

:angry: Why does he have to be so mean when I need hope now more than ever?

BTW - I think he has it (Bipolar, thyroid problems, neverending stomach pain, extreme anxiety/depression, gingivitis, etc...).

I really hate him for ruining my good mood. It's not easy finding one lately :(
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Michelle :)

Positive blood tests 4/29/05 (tTG & IgA)
*Osteoporosis (at 32!)
*Heartburn/Reflux (*ouch!*)
*Lifelong battle w/depression
*Dental enamel didn't form right when I was little (cavities cavities cavities)
*Neuropsych analysis lists all sorts of learning disabilities - which may be attributed to brain injury from an old accident or may be from celiac, who knows!

Had biopsy May 11th, 2005 - villi are FLAT! :(
gluten-free since May 11th :)

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#2 celiac3270

 
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Posted 07 May 2005 - 12:17 PM

You know more about celiac disease, healing, etc., so don't let anyone tell you that it won't work ;)

Looking at your signature: they are running tests, and it appears that dental problems contribute to celiac and that you can even predict whether someone is celiac or not by their dental enamel and ridges in their teeth. Depression/moodiness definitely improves, greater feeling of healthy in general, and though I don't know if osteo. can be stopped once it's started or not, it will definitely help your osteoporosis to be on the diet--more calcium, vit. D, and other vitamins and minerals will be absorbed. I don't know what other symptoms you have, but I can tell you that that should correct with the gluten-free diet. I find, also, that the little things you didn't realize before get better, as well. Maybe slight fatigue, slight muscle or joint pain or something, those little things that you're not thinking of right now, as you have bigger things to deal with. Keep your chin up :D

-celiac3270
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#3 KaitiUSA

 
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Posted 07 May 2005 - 12:27 PM

Don't let it get you down. When I first started pretty much my whole family all looked down on it and didn't think it was the problem and thought I was getting too involved in it and getting my hopes up. I could talk till I was blue in the face about it but they didn't want to hear it...some have got more supportive about it now but some are still really stubborn. Just think...after you go gluten free and start feeling better you'll be able to say...I told you so. :D

I noticed the same thing celiac3270 did...alot of the things you said in your signature that you have tie into celiac. I have little back spots on my teeth yet I have never had a cavity in my life..there are just little spots on my back teeth. I didn't get them till I got sick and they started to come then. I talked to my dentist and he said talk to a doctor that can be correlated with other things. So the doctor at the time blew it off and said talk to your dentist you must have cavities :lol: I said well my dentist said they weren't and sent me to you...she was stumped...needless to say that was the last time we saw her.
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Kaiti
Positive bloodwork
Gluten-free since January 2004
Arkansas

Jeremiah 29:11- "For I know the plans that I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for you to prosper and not harm you,plans to give you a hope and future"

"One Nation, Under God"

Feel free to email me anytime....jkbrodbent@yahoo.com

#4 tarnalberry

 
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Posted 07 May 2005 - 01:48 PM

My dad said, "Don't count on it. Don't get your hopes up. You don't even know if going gluten-free is going to help you at all. Don't get so excited about it getting rid of your problems because it probably wont."

:angry: Why does he have to be so mean when I need hope now more than ever?

Try not to take it as mean - I certainly didn't read it that way.

It's easy, with all of the things associated with celiac disease, for us to pin _every_ symptom we've ever had on it, and hence assume that once we go gluten-free, we'll have all those things go away. And that's a pretty large expectation, given the number of things that can go wrong with the human body.

Getting your hopes up too high - that everything will get better, that it'll only take a week, that it will solve all the problems - and can lead to a big disappointment.

But you do know what's best for you!
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Tiffany aka "Have I Mentioned Chocolate Lately?"
Inconclusive Blood Tests, Positive Dietary Results, No Endoscopy
G.F. - September 2003; C.F. - July 2004
Hiker, Yoga Teacher, Engineer, Painter, Be-er of Me
Bellevue, WA

#5 Guest_BellyTimber_*

 
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Posted 07 May 2005 - 03:22 PM

:(

It's important to know how to detach from some people.

Some of us our overall recovery of good health has been uneven and has taken years so far, me included and there was someone who said to me recently my gluten-free diet appeared to not be doing me good so I am just ignoring that point, well I think I managed to explain that these things happen slowly and they are tied in with so many other things.

If you are told things like this at this early stage well just ignore it, if the person harps on too much try and avoid them a bit ... We definitely have to assert ourselves though and tell people what we're doing and we're doing it because we know we need to.

Yes it's disappointing and disorienting, just when one needs people around one to help one along life's journey.

I actually feel a stabbing pain just beneath the ribs when people try that line on me.
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#6 tammy

 
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Posted 07 May 2005 - 04:18 PM

Improved health and feeling much better is proof enough.

I know that chronic health issues are well...chronic. I also know that a gluten-free diet healed bowels will make a difference. If your thyroid is stable and managed well that is wonderful. My osteopenia has not shown any significant positive changes in my past two dexascans even with the gluten-free diet and ample amounts of calcium, magnesium and Vit. D. But I must say that getting adequate amounts of exercise is still a challenge for me.

So I do hope that you will feel much better and heal!
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#7 ianm

 
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Posted 07 May 2005 - 07:03 PM

Some people just can't accept the fact that food can do so much harm to some people. I have reached the point if people don't want to accept it then TOO DAMN BAD! :angry: That is their problem NOT MINE! :angry: I will do what I have to do to get and stay healthy. We believe you because we've been there and done that. You're going to have to grow some thicker skin but that is not a bad thing. You will overcome this and you will be glad you did.
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If all the world is indeed a stage and we are merely players then will someone give me the script because I have no f!@#$%^ clue as to what is going on!

What does not kill you makes you stronger.
Nobody cares about losers and quitters never win. If you fail with the cowards then what's the message you send?
Can't get it right, no matter what I do. Might as well be me and keep fu@$ing up for you. - Brian Thomas (Halloween, the greatest metal band ever!)

Ian Moore. Self diagnosed at 36 because the doctors were clueless.
Started low-carb diet early 2004, felt better but not totally gluten-free. Went 100% gluten-free early 2005 and life has never been better.

#8 pixiegirl

 
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Posted 08 May 2005 - 02:56 AM

I know how you feel... I've had some issues with my brother... but I don't think your family is being mean.... people often nix what they don't understand, many people just resist new ideas... a lot of people have trouble with the idea that food (which of course we all need) can cause problems. And lastly your parents are probably worried about your health issues and don't want you to be disappointed if this doesn't work for you. I think to a lot of people the idea of just changing your diet to fix a lot of health issues just sounds too easy.

I know when I told my brother... (my family is aware of my 10 year battle of digestive problems) he said, diet fixed it???? What else did they give you? Its just hard to imagine that not eating wheat (thats how my brother puts it) and fix all the problems I had.

I bet they will come around, give them time.

Good luck, Susan
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#9 mela14

 
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Posted 08 May 2005 - 03:58 AM

The bottom line is that once they see you are starting to feel better they can't argue it! So, for now make a plan and stick to it. You can always come here for support.
When I first started to go gluten-free i noticed that I didn't wake with horrible headaches and my gut was actually calming down. then the diarhea stopped ...yeah! Once I had my endocopy, my GI said that everything looked good and that i didn't have celiac. I had the biopsy done at 4 months gluten-free.
A few days later, she had me second guessing myself and I wasn't as careful scrutinizing everything I ate...(although I wasn't intentionally eating gluten). The morning after my birthday party I was sick as a dog.........I was homebound for 3 days because I felt so poorly. Well, that just confirmed to my family even more that I couldn't have gluten.
Another time my mom slept over and witness first hand how sick I got after eating a contaminated rotisserie chicken from the grocery store. Within a half hour I was sick and crying and bloated........My entire persona changed. she saw how much I was suffering and again it lasted for days. Now at leat they know that I can't have it. The biopsy was useless to me. You have to see for yourself how you feel afterwards but you need to give it time. I am still working on my diet...but then again I have a lot of other food allergies. So hang in there...........

Oh....and when they finally do get it....they won't scrutinze like you do.
here's an example: my mom made dinner one night and discussed the menu with me several times. she was making shrimp and I told her to make it plain as she does with all my food. Well, once I saw the shrimp it was baked in the oven with breadcrumbs smothered over it! I told her about it and she said ...just wash it off then. that's when i freaked out. my dad quickly went to the fresh fish market and bought something that I was able to grill real fast. they sure don't make that mistake anymore!

It takes time....and is a learning experience.

good luck, :rolleyes:
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Mel
mela14@optonline.net

10 years of abdominal problems, incorrectly diagnosed with Endometriosis / suffered 7 surgeries. Total hysterectomy 2 years ago!
Fibromyalgia, Chronic Fatigue, Interstitial Cystitis ,IBS, Migraines, Primary Immune Deficiency to name a few. Finally realizing that food intolerances make them all worse!

#10 cdford

 
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Posted 08 May 2005 - 10:06 AM

We ran into the same problem with some extended family members, even to the point of attempting to sabatage our diets. After a few months when we started to see so much improvement, most came around and became supportive. The one who did not is just going to be that way no matter what happens in life. Where he is concerned, we just roll our eyes and go on. We like how we feel now. That is all that matters.
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Donna
South Georgia
9 yrs gluten-free
...also DH, fibromyalgia, neuropathy, osteopenia, hypothyroid...

After almost 10 years, I am doing soooo much better!

#11 Guest_nini_*

 
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Posted 08 May 2005 - 01:52 PM

I agree that even when they "get it" they do not scrutinize everything like I would and this includes my non gluten-free husband. I had to get on him the other night as he was eating a turkey sandwich on a very glutened bun and he went to stick his gluteny fingers into my jar of (VERY EXPENSIVE) gluten free organic pickles... I SCREAMED at him "do not put your glutened fingers in my gluten-free pickes!, use a fork" he promptly said "oops" and got up and got a fork, but now I'm wondering if he double dipped on the mayonaise <_< :rolleyes:
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#12 bean

 
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Posted 08 May 2005 - 04:02 PM

All of you seem to have such a balanced and accepting perspective when it comes to other people's ignorance. Does that come easier along the way?
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Michelle :)

Positive blood tests 4/29/05 (tTG & IgA)
*Osteoporosis (at 32!)
*Heartburn/Reflux (*ouch!*)
*Lifelong battle w/depression
*Dental enamel didn't form right when I was little (cavities cavities cavities)
*Neuropsych analysis lists all sorts of learning disabilities - which may be attributed to brain injury from an old accident or may be from celiac, who knows!

Had biopsy May 11th, 2005 - villi are FLAT! :(
gluten-free since May 11th :)

#13 Guest_BellyTimber_*

 
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Posted 08 May 2005 - 04:56 PM

:o

In my case, no! It's only when I get behind the computer and look at this wonderful board that I come over all philosophical!

The entire economy is built on wheat, caffeine, aspartame, glucose syrup (dodgy GI), hydrogenated oils and MSG. It seems that if I need to avoid one of these I'll certainly not be exempted from any of the rest!

Then there are the medical types. They are good people but nowhere as up to speed as the text books all boast. Like Mela I have been through the second guessing phase.

I live alone, never eat with friends and seldom with relatives. I have hardly any eating out places. If I go anywhere I go unprepared and panic or get faint, or I take a week's supply of picnics just for one day.

Who needs problems with relatives when you can have problems with the entire infrastructure!

I have had people that are important to me make difficult remarks though and that's when I get a stabbing sensation beneath the ribs as if, "how can they say that to me?"
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#14 tarnalberry

 
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Posted 08 May 2005 - 09:48 PM

I didn't used to, but we all have our own areas of ignorance - areas that other people come naturally. I know all kinds of things about a number of subjects, but know next to nothing about a number of other subjects. (I can keep a pet bird alive almost anywhere, but don't ask me to watch your pet snake; it'd end up dead.) I disliked people being as ... annoyed with me in my ignorance over a particular subject as I used to be with them, so I stopped doing it.
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Tiffany aka "Have I Mentioned Chocolate Lately?"
Inconclusive Blood Tests, Positive Dietary Results, No Endoscopy
G.F. - September 2003; C.F. - July 2004
Hiker, Yoga Teacher, Engineer, Painter, Be-er of Me
Bellevue, WA

#15 nikki-uk

 
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Posted 09 May 2005 - 12:26 AM

I must admit,when my husband finally found out what was wrong,he had very high hopes for the gluten-free diet,especially as he has been ill for many years.It's taking a little longer than we hoped as he's had to go on steroids to aid recovery-but it's in the right direction.
My husbands family do not understand the concept of a gluten-free diet-for instance,whenever he see's his brothers they always try to make him have a beer-'come on,one won't hurt you'-yes it will through gritted teeth.
Hopefully you will begin to feel better in yourself soon-then as said earlier,your parents cannot deny the benefits.
I would like to add though,that often my hubbie has no appetite-and I do tend to keep tabs on what he has eaten.I always ask if he's eaten,or if I can get him something he likes-it's habit.But,like your parents,it's only because we care!!
Give it time!
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It's not enough that we do our best; sometimes we have to do what's required - Sir Winston Churchill

Nikki



Son diagnosed with Coeliac Disease Oct 2006 by biopsy (at age 13yrs)

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