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Why Do People Have To Be So Mean?


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49 replies to this topic

#16 mela14

 
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Posted 09 May 2005 - 04:33 AM

OK..no matter how hard i try I am still having a hard time making things stickl We took my mom out for mothers day yesterday....... I was already have gi problems in the morning. My hubby and i went to Barns and Noble and decided to have something in starbucks. I had a decaf espresso which irritated my gut and started a bad day off.
anyway, i was so paranoid about eating and went over everything with the waiter. i insisted that my food be plain and he even argued with me that my entre` came grilled with fresh herbs.....(not prepared ones)..he insisted there were "grains"
on the seasonings. I told him that I preferred plain....nothing on it. when it came back it looked life there was fresh parsley, fresh garlic (which i scraped off because it irritates me), salt and too much fresh pepper. I ate very little of it as my gut started twisting from the salad. I was so bloated and in such pain but sat there politely and smiled.
we were all given maginficent mother's day deserts whichwere so pretty to look at......and I passed along to my niece. By the time we left i had to stop and get some mylanta at CVS to help calm things down.
My gut hurt so bad but i didn't feel sick yet so I thought i was safe. I snacked on some sweetened banana chips i got from the health food store. Now i am not sure if they were safe.......I was up during the night several times sick to my stomach...sour tummy, congested, muscle pain, headache. I feel so wiped and out of it. I am so depressed over this. I just can't get it right! so much for having the drs at columbia tell me ..."the good news is that you are not celiac".
OK...here we go with another wasted day. I had some appts today that I am going to have to cancel.
I read the label on the banana chips: coconut oil, bananas, sugar.
I had the same chips form another manufacturer and the label read: coconut oi, banana, sugar, banana flavor. I'm thnking the the banana flavor may have gluten...even thought htey didn't list that as in ingredient.
also, with all the mother's day chaos...it's possible that my fresh herb seasonings on my veal also had some bottled spice with gluten. I just don't know and can't figure it out today. I'll write in my food diary and have my nutrionist help me to figure it out.
gotta go rest.... :(
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Mel
mela14@optonline.net

10 years of abdominal problems, incorrectly diagnosed with Endometriosis / suffered 7 surgeries. Total hysterectomy 2 years ago!
Fibromyalgia, Chronic Fatigue, Interstitial Cystitis ,IBS, Migraines, Primary Immune Deficiency to name a few. Finally realizing that food intolerances make them all worse!

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#17 plantime

 
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Posted 09 May 2005 - 07:04 AM

Mela, I do feel for you! If my food, ordered plain, had come with seasoning on it, I would have sent it back to the kitchen. The waiter arguing about it would have meant a visit with the manager. There was no excuse for you not to get your food the way you wanted it. Rest, and get better!
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Dessa

The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make His face shine upon you and be gracious to you." Numbers 6:24-25

#18 bean

 
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Posted 09 May 2005 - 07:09 AM

Oh Mel :( I'm so sorry you had to go through that :(

I hope you feel better soon. *hug*
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Michelle :)

Positive blood tests 4/29/05 (tTG & IgA)
*Osteoporosis (at 32!)
*Heartburn/Reflux (*ouch!*)
*Lifelong battle w/depression
*Dental enamel didn't form right when I was little (cavities cavities cavities)
*Neuropsych analysis lists all sorts of learning disabilities - which may be attributed to brain injury from an old accident or may be from celiac, who knows!

Had biopsy May 11th, 2005 - villi are FLAT! :(
gluten-free since May 11th :)

#19 jenvan

 
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Posted 09 May 2005 - 07:20 AM

Mel-
do you know if caffeine bothers you? i can not tolerate it at all, and i can not even do decaf. a decaf starbucks would have been killing me. even herbal teas seem to get my gut going. just a thought...
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~~~~~~~
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Indianapolis, IN

gluten-free since Feb 2005
dairy-free

#20 SharonF

 
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Posted 09 May 2005 - 07:27 AM

Bean--

If your dad has some mental issues, then maybe it isn't easy for him to talk to you. Although my family has been supportive of my food issues, in other areas of my life they do tend to have a "well, you can try, but it won't do you any good" attitude.


And I think you'll start feeling better, and be better able to cope with people.

And thanks for your words on my pizza thread. I mean, yeah, it could be worse, but in the Sharonverse (that would be the universe of me), pizza was a Big Deal that day. Although of course not being sick is even better.
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Mom of 3
Diagnosed celiac August 2004

#21 bean

 
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Posted 09 May 2005 - 09:10 AM

Sharon,

Thank you. I think you just made a really, really, really good point that I needed to hear (see, whatever)

"I think you'll start feeling better, and be better able to cope with people."

I think that is absolutely true. Right now I'm doing this "gluten challenge" thing where I'm supposed to eat gluten at every meal so that my biopsy will show the full effects of celiac disease. It absolutely sucks and I am at an emotional all time low.

But... the biopsy is on the 19th, so not so much longer of making myself sick.



Everyone Else,

Thank you for your support. Sorry I've turned into a power-whiner!! But I really, truly appreciate all of the kindness and compassion that I've found in this forum. Thank you for understanding so many things.

- Sincerely, Michelle *hug*
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Michelle :)

Positive blood tests 4/29/05 (tTG & IgA)
*Osteoporosis (at 32!)
*Heartburn/Reflux (*ouch!*)
*Lifelong battle w/depression
*Dental enamel didn't form right when I was little (cavities cavities cavities)
*Neuropsych analysis lists all sorts of learning disabilities - which may be attributed to brain injury from an old accident or may be from celiac, who knows!

Had biopsy May 11th, 2005 - villi are FLAT! :(
gluten-free since May 11th :)

#22 tiredofdoctors!!!

 
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Posted 09 May 2005 - 04:52 PM

I'm sorry your dad acted out toward you. I know that in some experiences with my own parents (I had a broken clavicle that was never diagnosed. Prior to surgery, the MD asked my mother at what age I had fractured it -- she said that I had NEVER had a "broken collar bone" and she would have known it if I had, and was SOOOO defensive.) Perhaps your dad may be having a guilt pang that your disease was never diagnosed -- thinking that that they didn't do enough when you were younger. It's easier to say that it's probably not the problem and won't help than to admit that everything possible wasn't done for your children.
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Lynne

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"There's not a word yet, for old friends we've just met. Part Heaven, part space, or have I found my place? You can just visit, but I plan to stay, I'm going to go back there some day." Gonzo, in the Muppet Movie

#23 Guest_BERNESES_*

 
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Posted 09 May 2005 - 06:17 PM

I asked my husband a few weeks ago how I should act with people who just don't "get it" like my boss. Is it my job to "teach them a lesson"? He made a really good point and turned it around on me. He said, "Really, what you need to think aboput is how YOU"RE going to handle it when people just don't get it because there will always be people who don't get it for lots of different reasons." I thought that was a really good way to think about it.

I can't control people's reactions when I am sick and have to miss work or class or don't show any sympathy or compassion. That's their lack of understanding or intolerance (I hope it's just a lack of understanding) but what I can control is not letting it get to me by reminding myself that there will always be people who don't get it and not to get angry. Waaaaaaay easier said than done, believe me. But I have noticed something. All those people who treated me poorly and didn't take me seriously in the beginning are now like, "Wow- you look so much better. You really must have been sick." Wel.... duh! :D
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#24 mela14

 
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Posted 10 May 2005 - 08:43 AM

Thanks for the replies........next time...the food will go back if it doesn't come plain!!! funny thing is that I sent the salad back that day because it had dressing (even though they assured me it was olive oil and balsamic). I don't do well with ANY vinegars! I thought I would be safe with the SUPPOSED
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Mel
mela14@optonline.net

10 years of abdominal problems, incorrectly diagnosed with Endometriosis / suffered 7 surgeries. Total hysterectomy 2 years ago!
Fibromyalgia, Chronic Fatigue, Interstitial Cystitis ,IBS, Migraines, Primary Immune Deficiency to name a few. Finally realizing that food intolerances make them all worse!

#25 mela14

 
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Posted 10 May 2005 - 08:49 AM

sorry about that....i hit the wrong button!

with the SUPPOSED fresh herbs!

Naked means naked...and if it's not...it's going back. I've also learned that I can't do FRESH garlic.

I had a good appt with the nutrionist today and we touched on a few things that I didn't figure out on my own. The banana chips are ok...so I'll try them again in a smaller dose. We are wroking on food rotation.

I'm also starting on vitamins.....she referred me to a compounding pharmacist who maeks them free of all those allergens...especially gluten.

My dr sent me for blood work this morning for the burning that I hae been having in my legs. We can now officially add neuropathy to the list.....but he thinks it might be from a vit deficiency as he doesn't think I am absrobing well enough.He also thinks my diet is very limited so I am not getting enough variety. Hopefully some of the B vit will help with the neuropathy...if not...then we contemplate a prescription.....hhhhhmmmmmmmmmm...hate to do that.

Oh well....that's the update.........let's just take it one day at a time. Learning a little each day!

Thanks again,
:rolleyes:
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Mel
mela14@optonline.net

10 years of abdominal problems, incorrectly diagnosed with Endometriosis / suffered 7 surgeries. Total hysterectomy 2 years ago!
Fibromyalgia, Chronic Fatigue, Interstitial Cystitis ,IBS, Migraines, Primary Immune Deficiency to name a few. Finally realizing that food intolerances make them all worse!

#26 Guest_BERNESES_*

 
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Posted 10 May 2005 - 11:50 AM

Hang in there Mela, you've been through a lot. You should be proud that you are being so pro-active about your health. Beverly
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#27 bean

 
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Posted 10 May 2005 - 12:19 PM

Mel,

You are so tough and awesome :) We love you!!! Good luck with everything :)

Beverly is absolutely right - you should be *very* proud of yourself for being proactive, it's definitely not an easy thing when the rest of the world seems against you.

You have my best wishes, hopes, and prayers :)

- Michelle
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Michelle :)

Positive blood tests 4/29/05 (tTG & IgA)
*Osteoporosis (at 32!)
*Heartburn/Reflux (*ouch!*)
*Lifelong battle w/depression
*Dental enamel didn't form right when I was little (cavities cavities cavities)
*Neuropsych analysis lists all sorts of learning disabilities - which may be attributed to brain injury from an old accident or may be from celiac, who knows!

Had biopsy May 11th, 2005 - villi are FLAT! :(
gluten-free since May 11th :)

#28 Guest_~wAvE WeT sAnD~_*

 
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Posted 10 May 2005 - 08:02 PM

Bean---

Handling skepticism, for me, came with a lot of help and encouragement from the people on this board...we will always be here for you when you need us :)

Now that I think back, I do remember my mother telling me that I might not have celiac disease, that my GI could be wrong before I became gluten-free. I think it's more of an initial reaction for some people--think of the stages of death/dying (Elizabeth-Kubler Ross). Denial is the first stage, and, i think that when shocking news is delivered, such as celiac disease diagnosis, denial hits. Even I thought that it couldn't be true.

Definitely promote advocacy--tell your friends more about the disease, especially if they've been supportive. Talk to them about the 2.3 million people (I think that I got that statistic either from this website or celiac.org, I can't remember) who have celiac disease. Let anyone who's willing to listen and learn know that, although the word "Disease" may make it sound as if it's as serious as, say, AIDS, there is a cure, and then can help.

:) I hope that you and your family reach a mutual understanding--no matter what happens :)
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#29 Guest_BERNESES_*

 
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Posted 11 May 2005 - 06:12 AM

Jill- That's a great way to look at it. Bean, hang tough. My family has been supportive but my boss and one of my professors have been so mean about it. I missed class one night because i went to the ER because I felt so sick (I literally pooped my pants on the couch after getting glutened :blink: and when I saw my professor next his response was "I really hope you can get this thing under control" I wanted to punch him. It was as if I was doing this to myself on purpose. It's going to happen to us and Jill is right, we can always get support here. Thank you all!
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#30 Guest_nini_*

 
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Posted 11 May 2005 - 03:28 PM

that always got me... the ones that thought I was doing these things to myself on purpose... like OH, I LOVE VOMITING and having the big "D"... and I go OUT OF MY WAY to do this at every family function because I don't want to spend time with YOU. I'd rather spend it in the bathroom. Oh yeah and especially if we are at a restaurant for say, oh, MY BIRTHDAY, I REALLY wanted to spend the entire evening in the bathroom with other customers going "UM, are you DONE YET?????"

when I would finally reappear, my family would just treat me like it was all my fault. that I must have an eating disorder and enjoy making myself sick. RIGHT.
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