Jump to content

Follow Us:  Twitter Facebook RSS Feed            




   arrowShare this page:
   

   Get email alerts  Subscribe to FREE Celiac.com email alerts

 
Ads by Google:
Celiac.com Sponsor:                                    


Photo
- - - - -

Tired Of The Cheaters And Skeptics


  • Please log in to reply

99 replies to this topic

#46 burdee

 
burdee

    Advanced Community Member

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 1,400 posts
 

Posted 15 May 2005 - 03:21 PM

Those 'newbee' comments about cheating may SEEM disrepectful of those of us who abstain from gluten (and dairy, soy, and other foods for some of us). However, they are courageously risking criticism from US, as they share how they struggle with accepting what they must do, despite the facts about healing from celiac damage and avoiding future related conditions or complications. People who feel secure about what they are doing don't need to boast or complain to others about their choices or actions. Those who are uncertain will passionately push their point of view on others, to convince them of what they really have not accepted themselves. So OUR passionate overreactions to reports or comments about 'cheating' reveal something about our attitudes about abstaining or indulging in gluten.

I cannot tolerate any dairy products (as well as gluten or soy). For months I could not find a safe substitute for creamy vanilla ice cream and would NOT allow my husband to have any ice cream in the house. When I finally discovered creamy banana sorbet (not vanilla ice cream, but sweet, creamy and SAFE), I finally bought vanilla ice cream FOR him. I had the same problem with chocolate (no tasty, creamy soy/dairy free chocolate) until I discovered Almond Breeze chocolate milk. It's not like a chocolate bar, but has a creamy sweet milk chocolate taste. I also love Double Rainbow chocolate sorbet with a rich, deep, dark chocolate flavor. Before I lose you all in a puddle of melted banana or chocolate sorbet ...

My point is that when we feel secure enough about what we CAN eat, despite abstaining from gluten, we can help newbees to understand that they do NOT need to feel deprived. They may not ever find a gluten free substitute for Krispy Kreme donuts, but they CAN BE HAPPY about all the other wonderful tasty gluten-free pastries that are available. Perhaps they will find something they like BETTER than Krispy Kremes, especially something which does not give them celiac disease symptoms. When we focus on what we CAN eat and really explore a variety of options, we can help newbees who cheat learn that they are only depriving themselves of peace of mind and fantastic health.
BURDEE
  • 0

Gluten, dairy, soy, egg, cane sugar, vanilla and nutmeg free. Enterolab diagnosed gluten/casein intolerant 7/04; soy intolerant 8/07. ELISA test diagnosed egg/cane sugar IgG allergies 8/06; vanilla/nutmeg 8/06. 2006-10 diagnosed by DNA Microbial stool tests and successfully treated: Klebsiella, Enterobacter Cloaecae, Cryptosporidia, Candida, C-diff, Achromobacter, H. Pylori and Dientamoeba Fragilis. 6/10 Heidelberg capsule test diagnosed hypochloridia. Vitamin D deficiency, hypothyroiditis, hypochloridia and low white blood cells caused vulnerability to infections. I now take Betaine HCl, probiotics, Vitamin D and T3 thyroid supplement to maintain immunity.


Celiac.com Sponsor:

#47 darlindeb25

 
darlindeb25

    Advanced Community Member

  • Banned
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 2,324 posts
 

Posted 15 May 2005 - 03:28 PM

I have been on this board for a long time and I have always been ready to help anyone--I am a moderator on this board and I quit coming here for a while because I was so sick of the nit picking going on--I am not going to name names, but I was finding that a new person would come in and ask a perfectly innocent guestion---like, "can i have .........?" and it would be something that was quite obvious to we who have been gluten-free for some time, but not so obvious to a newbie and some of you would jump all over them like they were idiots--I would privately email them and let them know that not all of us were so cruel and I would give them my addy to ask me guestions directly--one newbie told me she would not come back to the forum because she felt the answers were rude---so I think its time you all remember--when you are pointing a finger and accusing someone of being of guestionable character, then you better remember at that same time, 4 fingers are pointing back at yourself--remember that------by the way--everyone was so upset with mmm gluten--I emailed him and then added him to my messenger--he is really a very nice man with a wonderful sense of humor--dont tell him though, cause it would ruin his image in here---Deb
  • 0
Deb
Long Island, NY

Double DQ1, subtype 6

We urge all doctors to take time to listen to your patients.. don't "isolate" symptoms but look at the whole spectrum. If a patient tells you s/he feels as if s/he's falling apart and "nothing seems to be working properly", chances are s/he's right!

"The calm river of your life approaches the rocky chute of the rapids - flow on through. You are the same water. The rocks cannot hurt you. Remember, now and then, that you are the water and not the boat. Flow on!

#48 darlindeb25

 
darlindeb25

    Advanced Community Member

  • Banned
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 2,324 posts
 

Posted 15 May 2005 - 03:31 PM

I ALREADY POSTED THIS IN ANOTHER SPOT, BUT I THOUGHT IT MAY JUST GET MORE ATTENTION HERE--SO HERE GOES:

I have been on this board for a long time and I have always been ready to help anyone--I am a moderator on this board and I quit coming here for a while because I was so sick of the nit picking going on--I am not going to name names, but I was finding that a new person would come in and ask a perfectly innocent guestion---like, "can i have .........?" and it would be something that was quite obvious to we who have been gluten-free for some time, but not so obvious to a newbie and some of you would jump all over them like they were idiots--I would privately email them and let them know that not all of us were so cruel and I would give them my addy to ask me guestions directly--one newbie told me she would not come back to the forum because she felt the answers were rude---so I think its time you all remember--when you are pointing a finger and accusing someone of being of guestionable character, then you better remember at that same time, 4 fingers are pointing back at yourself--remember that------by the way--everyone was so upset with mmm gluten--I emailed him and then added him to my messenger--he is really a very nice man with a wonderful sense of humor--dont tell him though, cause it would ruin his image in here---Deb
  • 0
Deb
Long Island, NY

Double DQ1, subtype 6

We urge all doctors to take time to listen to your patients.. don't "isolate" symptoms but look at the whole spectrum. If a patient tells you s/he feels as if s/he's falling apart and "nothing seems to be working properly", chances are s/he's right!

"The calm river of your life approaches the rocky chute of the rapids - flow on through. You are the same water. The rocks cannot hurt you. Remember, now and then, that you are the water and not the boat. Flow on!

#49 ianm

 
ianm

    Metal God

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 849 posts
 

Posted 15 May 2005 - 04:04 PM

In defense of mmm..gluten I really don't think he was trying to be condescending. I got the impression that he is someone with a dry sense of humor that just did not come across the way he intended. If we were all speaking face to face I don't think he would have provoked the reaction that he did. Since we cannot meet face to face it is good to remember that you must word your responses carefully so that they don't get interpreted the wrong way.
  • 0
If all the world is indeed a stage and we are merely players then will someone give me the script because I have no f!@#$%^ clue as to what is going on!

What does not kill you makes you stronger.
Nobody cares about losers and quitters never win. If you fail with the cowards then what's the message you send?
Can't get it right, no matter what I do. Might as well be me and keep fu@$ing up for you. - Brian Thomas (Halloween, the greatest metal band ever!)

Ian Moore. Self diagnosed at 36 because the doctors were clueless.
Started low-carb diet early 2004, felt better but not totally gluten-free. Went 100% gluten-free early 2005 and life has never been better.

#50 angel_jd1

 
angel_jd1

    Gluten Free Goddess

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 2,053 posts
 

Posted 15 May 2005 - 05:03 PM

Some people seem to be missing Jessica's point. It is not about cheating or not cheating, it is about RESPECT. Some of these newbies are coming to our board and intentionally or unintentionally disrespecting and mocking our way of life/problems.
I could care less if they cheat. I don't have to live in their body. To each his own. But don't come trolling around our board laughing about serious matters. If you're SINCERE with a question, fine. But the attitude of some of the new posters is very condescending, like this is all a great joke and we poor pathetic people who actually follow this awful diet and have all of these "psychosomatic" symptoms. That ticks me off.
There are plenty of posters here who cheat and come for support b/c they need help. That's FINE. but people who treat it like a game/joke and cheat need to go ELSEWHERE.
We're making it worse by taking the bait. I would suggest people who don't want these kinds of posters here stop responding to ANY posts that aren't serious in nature. Leave the disrespectful ones alone and they will stop posting them.

Thank you for "getting it".

-Jessica :rolleyes:
  • 0
Jessica
Gluten Free since 12-31-2002!!
Kansas

#51 scoutfinch

 
scoutfinch

    New Community Member

  • Advanced Members
  • Pip
  • 15 posts
 

Posted 15 May 2005 - 05:18 PM

Thank you, Burdee and Deb.

It's important that people feel like they can use this forum as a sounding board, a place to question as well as to ask questions. I've seen several references about members (particularly newbies) who are "tearing down the diet" or somehow demeaning and mocking others who follow it. I haven't seen this at all. Nobody is doubting that the majority of the people on this board get very sick from ingesting gluten. Comments about the palatability of certain gluten-free foods does not in any way diminish the importance of the diet, nor does questioning whether the diet is really right for particular individuals. It's rough being new to the diet, and getting our heads around the disease and all the changes that go with it can be overwhelming. I think it's natural for the asymptomatic people to question their individual need for the diet in their quest to gather as much information as they can in order to make their own decisions on how they want to proceed. It's part of learning how to cope with it.

Maybe there should be a "newbie" section on this forum so that there is a guaranteed safe place for them to post and have their questions and concerns answered by people who don't mind answering the same things over and over.

scoutfinch
  • 0

#52 jknnej

 
jknnej

    Advanced Community Member

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 729 posts
 

Posted 15 May 2005 - 06:17 PM

Everyone just needs to calm down in my opinion.
Many times people with a dry sense of humor come off strangely to people who don't know them. On the internet it's 10 times worse b/c you aren't meeting the person face to face to get a feel for their character.
In that case, sometimes someone who knows they have such a sense of humor needs to be careful not to insult other strangers.
I've only been on the board for about 5 months, but I've never seen anyone jump all over someone with an innocent or naive question.
When I was brand new, ALL of my "newbie" questions were answered with sensitivity to my "newness" so my newbie experience was quite the contrary to what you described in your post.
In any case you can't prescribe feelings to people. Some people won't like others; it's just the way the world works. Every message board I've ever been on has drama b/c that's the way it is in the real world, too! Take a look at most of our jobs: I know at mine certain people are pointed out for attitude issues while others get along with just about everyone. It's the way life is. I'm sure mmm...gluten is highly used to differing responses to his unique personality by now....and judging by his responses to the critics, he is handling it quite well.
I don't feel sorry for him, or dislike him, either. I think you get what you give. If you're going to post things that are slightly off-color, you'd better expect some responses. The thing is, some of us sensed an inferred put down to Celiacs in his posts, whether he intended them or not (I'm guessing you would say not and maybe you're right). That is our right to feel that way, and it is our right to react when we read it. That's where you can't prescribe feelings to people comes in. It is what it is.
  • 0

#53 KaitiUSA

 
KaitiUSA

    Be the change you wish to see in the world!

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 3,583 posts
 

Posted 15 May 2005 - 06:21 PM

jknnej-Well put B)
There has been enough controversy regarding this...it's over and done with so everyone let's calm down and get back to what we are here for...to help each other, learn about peoples experiences, and build friendships :D

Remember, we all have different opinions and thats good...just think about how boring life would be if we all thought the same thing.
  • 0
Kaiti
Positive bloodwork
Gluten-free since January 2004
Arkansas

Jeremiah 29:11- "For I know the plans that I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for you to prosper and not harm you,plans to give you a hope and future"

"One Nation, Under God"

Feel free to email me anytime....jkbrodbent@yahoo.com

#54 darlindeb25

 
darlindeb25

    Advanced Community Member

  • Banned
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 2,324 posts
 

Posted 15 May 2005 - 06:26 PM

I do not bait anyone--thank you--Deb
  • 0
Deb
Long Island, NY

Double DQ1, subtype 6

We urge all doctors to take time to listen to your patients.. don't "isolate" symptoms but look at the whole spectrum. If a patient tells you s/he feels as if s/he's falling apart and "nothing seems to be working properly", chances are s/he's right!

"The calm river of your life approaches the rocky chute of the rapids - flow on through. You are the same water. The rocks cannot hurt you. Remember, now and then, that you are the water and not the boat. Flow on!

#55 jknnej

 
jknnej

    Advanced Community Member

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 729 posts
 

Posted 15 May 2005 - 06:30 PM

If someone writes a post about cheating I have never seen a bad response. I've seen people trying to HELP that person and offer encouragement, which I think is wonderful and NECESSARY. We are, after all, here to support each other!
But a few of the new posters are NOT like the other newbies. They are, in some ways; learning about the disease, wondering how it works, etc. That is fine and dandy. But you can't deny there have been a few comments that were slighly questionable and that I personally found a little rude to some of us.
I have been fighting my entire LIFE for my family and friends to understand that I often don't feel well. They often blow it off like it's all in my head. Clearly I am sensitive to this issue. A regular newbie who is innocently asking questions doeesn't bother me at all; they are trying to learn! People in the community who ask questions don't bother me; most of them are trying to learn to oblige me.
But when people infer that's it's in our heads, I get really upset and I'm not going to apologize for it. It's the tone of the posts, the unstated in the posts that bothered me. Something about the word "psychosomatic" really rubbed me the wrong way.
If I'm reading it wrong, oh well. I've said it before and I will say it again: you can't force people to not get offended by others.
It's not the end of the world, either. Some people are just better off avoiding others, anyhow! There's certainly nothing wrong with that!
No matter my opinion on the posters, I still feel they have a right to post here and that is totally fine with me. After all, I don't have to respond to them, now do I?
I was just sharing my opinion along with Jessica that I agreed with her. I didn't even have any part in the posts; I read them all as an observer. But I did tend to agree with Jessica and I still do.
  • 0

#56 jknnej

 
jknnej

    Advanced Community Member

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 729 posts
 

Posted 15 May 2005 - 06:37 PM

Well, maybe I shouldn't take the bait, but here goes: what adults are you referring to that need to learn from teenagers? And if their behavior is questionable, then why would you engage in the same type of behavior? Do you realize that you are "baiting" us and continuing the argument rather than just ending it? I should just let it go but you know what? I find worse offense with that comment than with all of the comments about and from the newbies combined. It really speaks to how you truly feel about us inside.
I don't understand how people can accuse others of something but turn around and act the same exact way. It is very self-righteous.
If we are acting so honery why would you post about adults needing to learn from teenagers? No offense, I agree the teenagers here are AMAZING.
But I find offense with that comment, completely.
  • 0

#57 burdee

 
burdee

    Advanced Community Member

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 1,400 posts
 

Posted 15 May 2005 - 07:05 PM

Hi Scoutfinch:
I like your idea of having a safe (doubting?) newbee section. Everybody who has celiac symptoms or celiac test result indications or even probable wheat intolerance should feel safe to express their opinions and feelings in whatever way they choose. Not everyone can tactfully or diplomatically verbalize their concerns or beliefs. Some people may come across as downright rude. I'm sorry that some people feel offended by that rudeness. There was one particular topic which I chose NOT to completely read, because I didn't like the tone or content of the topic originator's comments. However, I noticed that several people responsed favorably to and even were inspired by some of those posts. I REALLY appreciate the depth of emotions and wideness in variety of topics and sections (forums?) within this message board. I hope we can continue to allow everyone freedom to post about their celiac experiences, doubts and beliefs.
BURDEE
  • 0

Gluten, dairy, soy, egg, cane sugar, vanilla and nutmeg free. Enterolab diagnosed gluten/casein intolerant 7/04; soy intolerant 8/07. ELISA test diagnosed egg/cane sugar IgG allergies 8/06; vanilla/nutmeg 8/06. 2006-10 diagnosed by DNA Microbial stool tests and successfully treated: Klebsiella, Enterobacter Cloaecae, Cryptosporidia, Candida, C-diff, Achromobacter, H. Pylori and Dientamoeba Fragilis. 6/10 Heidelberg capsule test diagnosed hypochloridia. Vitamin D deficiency, hypothyroiditis, hypochloridia and low white blood cells caused vulnerability to infections. I now take Betaine HCl, probiotics, Vitamin D and T3 thyroid supplement to maintain immunity.


#58 pixiegirl

 
pixiegirl

    Advanced Community Member

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 756 posts
 

Posted 16 May 2005 - 03:02 AM

When I was new to gluten-free I posted on a few different boards... I wanted as much info as I could get.... and fast! On some of those boards I got some curt answers to my questions.. I had one person tell me to do research before coming on the board so I'd know what I was talking about! Here I thought thats what I was doing by posting!! (I'm not on that board any more).

I may have insulted people with my questions but I didn't know any better... example: I questioned if I really had to throw away my shampoo with wheat in it and wow did I get blasted for that. I wasn't trying to "diss" anyone or cause trouble, I was just trying to figure this all out. In some cases I honestly felt like I wasn't welcome until I was as "Celiac savvy" as they were. Well, that takes time.

And if some "trolls" come on the board just to cause trouble, it doesn't take long to figure that out (almost all message boards have one or two of them) and who they are... either way, I won't argue with them but I'd still answer their questions as nicely as possible...

As I said once before people make stupid and/or bad decisions all the time and there is nothing we can do about it, so if someone does decide to cheat on their gluten-free diet... thats their business, I'm not sure why someone else should feel insulted. We all make our own decisions and we all have to live with what we decide.

Best to everyone...

Susan
  • 0

#59 Guest_gillian502_*

 
Guest_gillian502_*
  • Guests
 

Posted 16 May 2005 - 04:12 AM

I think it depends on one's background with this disease as to how seriously they take their diagnosis and diet. I also agree with Jessica that many people need to be a little more careful of the tone of their posts...ask anything you want, just be sensitive to the fact that this is a board for people who have a life threatening illness, plain and simple. I almost lost my life at the age of 29. Hey, it happens, people do sick with Celiac and die. Not something we want to think about, but it happens. I think that's why the people who may not understand the illness just yet need to take into consideration that some of us have been through hell, and as great of a sense of humor as we may have about other things in our lives, we're just not ready to laugh about this yet. Not yet.

I also wish this wasn't called a "diet" in the medical community, but rather something more accurate such as a "prescription", because that's what it is, a medical prescription. Some people take their meds and others choose to forego treatment, their choice of course.

Overall, I think we need to be a little more aware of each other's feelings...this is a board for a serious disease, and we need to be respectful of everyone's experiences with the disease. Anyone who doesn't think it's a serious disease, please don't tell us that. It truly is hurtful. Thanks,
Gillian
  • 0

#60 darlindeb25

 
darlindeb25

    Advanced Community Member

  • Banned
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 2,324 posts
 

Posted 16 May 2005 - 04:25 AM

Gillian--I dont call it a diet--I call it a lifestyle--i never say diet--I may say I have to stick to a special type of diet, but I dont want people to think this is a weight loss skeem-------as for the newbies, some of them dont know that some of us were so sick--some find out by accident that they are celiacs and they dont know real pain as of yet and with luck, they wont--Deb
  • 0
Deb
Long Island, NY

Double DQ1, subtype 6

We urge all doctors to take time to listen to your patients.. don't "isolate" symptoms but look at the whole spectrum. If a patient tells you s/he feels as if s/he's falling apart and "nothing seems to be working properly", chances are s/he's right!

"The calm river of your life approaches the rocky chute of the rapids - flow on through. You are the same water. The rocks cannot hurt you. Remember, now and then, that you are the water and not the boat. Flow on!




0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users

Celiac.com Sponsors: