How Should I Handle This In The Future?

[BigDogz]

A bunch of my friends celebrated another friend's graduation from nursing school last night by going to a local pub. Although they all know I have celiac disease and can't drink most alcoholic beverages, I knew I'd be "expected" to join in. I considered having plain soda but I don't tolerate caffeine well (I get symptoms very similar to celiac disease). In the past, I've tried drinking something caffeine free like 7-Up or Sprite or Crush, but every single time I do it I end up with a yeast infection in a matter of a day or two. Right or wrong, I've chalked it up to the high fructose corn syrup and just avoid drinking soda.

That left my choices as water or fruit juice (not likely in a bar), wine coolers or something with gin or vodka in it. I've never been a "drinker" so I know very little about alcoholic beverages, what they're made of, the various names of mixed drinks, etc. One of the friends was buying the first round for everyone and I thought I'd be safe ordering a raspberry wine cooler.

I now know that I made two initial mistakes. One, I didn't go and get my own drink so that I could personally talk with the bartender and assure what I was getting...but I didn't want to offend my friend by not accepting her offer to pay or appear that I didn't trust her or was overly picky. Two, the pub was very dark and I didn't look at the label until I was down to my last half-dozen swallows. I took the first sip, it tasted raspberry-y, like a wine cooler, and that's all the "checking" I did...until I got shoved beneath the beam of a stage light and it glinted off the label. The label that clearly said "Bacardi Raz" and, in the small print at the bottom, "Malt beverage". Needless to say, today hasn't been a pretty day for me.

I now know not to make those 2 mistakes I made. BUT...how could I handle this differently in the future? I assumed since I said "wine cooler", that's what I was going to get - not something malted. Secondly, the bottle was brought to the table with the cap already off, so even if I'd noticed the label beforehand, how could I have "turned it back in"?

Lastly, being alcoholic beverage illiterate...and an incredible lightweight with booze...what drinks do you guys order when out on the town with friends? On the few occasions that I would drink before my diagnosis, I'd order an Amaretto & 7-Up (yes, it's a poufy drink - told you I was a lightweight ). If I'm willing to chance the HFCS in the 7-Up, is the Amaretto "safe"?

[tarnalberry]

A bar is actually *quite* likely to have juice - many many mixed drinks require juice. Orange juice and grenadine would be something I might go for, or just the orange juice. You'll likely be able to get cranberry juice. (Cranberry juice with a touch of lime is good. Orange juice with club soda is also quite tasty.)

(Due to meds I took for a long time, I haven't had alcoholic beverages in ages. So I get creative about fun beverages. )

[BigDogz]

A bar is actually *quite* likely to have juice - many many mixed drinks require juice. Orange juice and grenadine would be something I might go for, or just the orange juice. You'll likely be able to get cranberry juice. (Cranberry juice with a touch of lime is good. Orange juice with club soda is also quite tasty.)

(Due to meds I took for a long time, I haven't had alcoholic beverages in ages. So I get creative about fun beverages. )

Seconds after I posted, I remembered the OJ for fuzzy navels. I'm wishing I had thought about that last night! I just don't go to bars or drink all that often to know this stuff. I was pretty uneducated when it came to ordering drinks *before* my diagnosis, but I'm just plain helpless now.

The cranberry juice with a touch of lime sounds interesting. I'm supposed to attend another party the end of this month that it assured to have copious amounts of alcohol. I'll have to see if I can get the bartender to whip that up for me.

[ravenwoodglass]

If your in the US almost all the bottled wine coolers are malt liqour. I usually order a 'real' wine cooler. I ask for 1/2 wine and 1/2 Sprite or 7UP. A glass of just wine is also good. Rum and Coke made with a clear unflavored rum, add a lime slice if you like. Tequila is a safe choice so perhaps a tequila sunrise. A very pretty drink. A Daquri (sp) would be safe as that is made with rum and fruit that is blended. If the bar makes it with a mix don't risk it though. In general I would stay away from any drink that is made with a premade mixer. You also should avoid any of the multialcohol shots that groups will sometimes order shakers of.

You do have a lot of gluten safe choices. You might want to pick up of copy of the Old Boston Bartenders Guide (I'm pretty sure that's the name) I always made sure I had mine in my purse whenever I bartended, way back when... That would give you some ideas for stuff you might like to try.

[butterfl8]

Amarretto is safe! I would have been VERY sad if it wasn't! You could also try Rum & coke. I seem to remember bars like to use very little rum to cut costs. Can't always guarentee that, though.

I had the same problem with high amounts of sugar (yeast infections), but it seems to have stopped now that I take probiotics. I use acidophilus by Nature Made, 1-2 per day. Depends on how well I remember in the morning/evening. . .

Have fun, and congrats to your friend!

-Daisy

[GFinDC]

You could probably get hard cider at lots of bars. I think they are generally safe for us.

[BigDogz]

If your in the US almost all the bottled wine coolers are malt liqour. I usually order a 'real' wine cooler. I ask for 1/2 wine and 1/2 Sprite or 7UP. A glass of just wine is also good. Rum and Coke made with a clear unflavored rum, add a lime slice if you like. Tequila is a safe choice so perhaps a tequila sunrise. A very pretty drink. A Daquri (sp) would be safe as that is made with rum and fruit that is blended. If the bar makes it with a mix don't risk it though. In general I would stay away from any drink that is made with a premade mixer. You also should avoid any of the multialcohol shots that groups will sometimes order shakers of.

You do have a lot of gluten safe choices. You might want to pick up of copy of the Old Boston Bartenders Guide (I'm pretty sure that's the name) I always made sure I had mine in my purse whenever I bartended, way back when... That would give you some ideas for stuff you might like to try.

Huh...had no idea wine coolers in the US were malt beverages! I assumed since they were called "wine" coolers that that's what they were. See, told you I'm bar/alcohol illiterate!

Can't do the Rum and Coke because of the bad reaction I have to the caffeine in the Coke but the "real" wine cooler "recipe" is inventive and a good possibility.

I'm going to show my naivety again...what all is in a Tequila Sunrise other than the obvious Tequila? Also, does it carry a big punch? At most, I've had 2 or 3 alcoholic drinks per year since I became legal at age 21...I'm now 41...so I feel its effects a lot quicker than the average person.

I looked up Amaretto on the web and, apparently, it IS gluten-free. From what I've found it's made from almond or apricot pits. I've also found a few recipes that combine Amaretto and fruit juices so I could swap out the HFCS-containing 7-Up for OJ, grapefruit juice, lemon juice, Cognac or an OJ/Grenadine mix.

[sandsurfgirl]

Yeah, pretty funny that wine coolers are really fruit flavored beer!

I would just drink wine, but I love wine. If wine had gluten I would cry my eyes out.

[ravenwoodglass]

Huh...had no idea wine coolers in the US were malt beverages! I assumed since they were called "wine" coolers that that's what they were. See, told you I'm bar/alcohol illiterate!

Can't do the Rum and Coke because of the bad reaction I have to the caffeine in the Coke but the "real" wine cooler "recipe" is inventive and a good possibility.

I'm going to show my naivety again...what all is in a Tequila Sunrise other than the obvious Tequila? Also, does it carry a big punch? At most, I've had 2 or 3 alcoholic drinks per year since I became legal at age 21...I'm now 41...so I feel its effects a lot quicker than the average person.

I looked up Amaretto on the web and, apparently, it IS gluten-free. From what I've found it's made from almond or apricot pits. I've also found a few recipes that combine Amaretto and fruit juices so I could swap out the HFCS-containing 7-Up for OJ, grapefruit juice, lemon juice, Cognac or an OJ/Grenadine mix.

A Sunrise is tequila, orange juice and grenedine. You can also order a Virgin Sunrise which would be orange juice and grenedine with no tequila.

Another light drink would be a sloe gin fizz. That is sloe gin (very light weight alcohol) mixed with Sprite. A very pretty pink drink and the only thing my Mom ever drank.

Do go with a top shelf Amaretto, I cant think of the name exactly of what I used to drink but I think DeSannaro is close but not the exact spelling. I used to love to just sip it on a cold day but haven't had any in a long time.

[tmbarke]

I don't know if schapps is gluten free - but if it were....I'd be ordering fuzzy navels too!

And a buttery nipple! don't know about the irish cream tho either.

I too stick with wine if I go out for a drink.

I love the sweeter wines.

White zinfandel is usually a good choice.

Reisling too - sweet with a creamy testure - or some may call it velvety

I guess you'd have to ask about the OJ they use too....some are cocktail style, like a tang almost.

I know you can't do a carbonated beverage.....and yet the cranberry may be cocktail style as well as the OJ.

it's just a tough call.

Wine alone is safe.

That would be a safe choice for you too. IMHO.

[missy'smom]

gin and tonic(ice or no, lime or no)

mimosa-champagne and OJ

[Lynayah]

How about just ordering a glass of wine?

[Jestgar]

I would get a glass of wine and a glass of water. You can use the wine for toasts and for "show", but mostly drink the water.

[Reba32]

why do you feel the need to drink alcohol at all? You're not in highschool anymore, if you don't want to drink, don't. If you don't like the sugar in soda, get diet. Every bar has diet coke. Or you could just get club soda with a wedge of lemon.

In future, get your own drinks. That way you can ensure you won't be inadvertently glutened. I'm sure your friends will understand.

[mindwiped]

You could also ask for a wine spritzer. Here in the states they mix wine and club soda to make a fizzy, low alcohol, drink that sounds a lot like the wine cooler you were asking for. Just be prepared to answer white or red.

[BigDogz]

why do you feel the need to drink alcohol at all? You're not in highschool anymore, if you don't want to drink, don't. If you don't like the sugar in soda, get diet. Every bar has diet coke. Or you could just get club soda with a wedge of lemon.

In future, get your own drinks. That way you can ensure you won't be inadvertently glutened. I'm sure your friends will understand.

I don't feel the "need" to drink alcohol. If that was the case, I'd sure as crap have had more than 2 or 3 alcoholic beverages per year since the age of 21. And you're right, I most certainly am not in high school anymore. Wasn't even high school-ish when I was in high school - family circumstances made sure I grew up pretty damned fast and I didn't have the time or opportunity to be a teen and party, experiment with drugs, cruise in the car, go to football games, chase guys, go to school dances and get plastered at weekend parties. I wish I had - sure as hell would have beaten going to school and carrying a 3.85 GPA while caring for a terminally ill parent, trying to figure out how we were going to pay for it all and just what work a not-yet-graduated high schooler was going to be qualified to do that would bring in enough money to keep me and my sibling together when the inevitable came. So, yeah...don't lay a load of crap on me about it being immature that when I get the chance, like this grad party, I like to be able to do some of the things I missed out on.

If you re-read my post, I don't drink sodas mostly because of the caffeine, not the sugar. I like sugar just as much as the next person. My favorite dessert is ice cream - not exactly light in the sugar department. I don't drink diet sodas for several reasons:

1.) I hate the nasty after-taste of diet stuff.

2.) The diet drinks are loaded with even more nasty chemicals than the regular stuff.

3.) I've tried diet drinks/foods in the past and both Aspartame and Splenda gives me migraines.

[missy'smom]

I don't feel the "need" to drink alcohol. If that was the case, I'd sure as crap have had more than 2 or 3 alcoholic beverages per year since the age of 21. And you're right, I most certainly am not in high school anymore. Wasn't even high school-ish when I was in high school - family circumstances made sure I grew up pretty damned fast and I didn't have the time or opportunity to be a teen and party, experiment with drugs, cruise in the car, go to football games, chase guys, go to school dances and get plastered at weekend parties. I wish I had - sure as hell would have beaten going to school and carrying a 3.85 GPA while caring for a terminally ill parent, trying to figure out how we were going to pay for it all and just what work a not-yet-graduated high schooler was going to be qualified to do that would bring in enough money to keep me and my sibling together when the inevitable came. So, yeah...don't lay a load of crap on me about it being immature that when I get the chance, like this grad party, I like to be able to do some of the things I missed out on.

Sorry you had to go through all that. (((HUG)))It's QUITE a load to carry. You're not the only one. My circumstances were VERY similar. I understand how you feel.

[sandsurfgirl]

why do you feel the need to drink alcohol at all? You're not in highschool anymore, if you don't want to drink, don't. If you don't like the sugar in soda, get diet. Every bar has diet coke. Or you could just get club soda with a wedge of lemon.

In future, get your own drinks. That way you can ensure you won't be inadvertently glutened. I'm sure your friends will understand.

A little harsh there. The OP stated clearly that drinking is not a regular activity for them, but everyone wants to be included in a celebration. We lose so much food culture and we lose our freedom to eat out and eat at parties safely. It's hard to go into a social situation and not know what you can and can't have. It wasn't at all about a "need to drink alcohol."

There is nothing wrong with wanting to have a drink with your friends at a celebration and feel sad about being left out. I'm not a big drinker by any means but I do LOVE good wine and really good high quality beer. I sobbed like a baby about not ever being able to have Guinness again even though I only drink it maybe TWICE a year. Knowing I can never ever have that experience again made me sad.

There ARE things that are about the food or the drink or whatever and that's just the way it is.

[Takala]

Well, now that I've had the misfortune of reading the response to the response.....

.... You, and not anyone else, are responsible for what goes into your mouth, even in social situations. Unless you're physically incapacitated or an infant being hand fed. This means you must make a good faith effort to make your order precise AND gluten free.

If your need to "blend in socially" includes deliberately risking making yourself sick the next day(s) because you won't clearly tell a waiter what you need, and are unwilling to ask the bartender (an ingredients expert, usually) if they have some vodka made with potato not wheat, and could they put that with something else over ice, or just get you a glass of plain wine, then lambasting other people for making safe suggestions is just being done to be difficult.

Alcohols are liquid sugars, so if you're sensitive to the effects of sugar, thinking that they're not going to have the same effect as a soda with hfcs is not correct. If you are safe with any type of artificial sweetener, carry it with you in your purse or wallet so you have it if you want or need it.

Smart cocktail waiters actually love us polite people who order nerd drinks like diet sodas or mineral waters over ice, and then make sure to give them a better tip than what they'll get with somebody ordering a complicated mixed drink, who is rude and then CHEAP on top of it. Less hassle, bigger profit margin, don't have to worry about liability with drunken driving or calling a cab. They assume you're the dedicated driver, or perhaps just have an early morning, or have a job where you are never allowed to be hungover. They don't care. That's what it looks like on the other side.

[Lynayah]

A little harsh there. The OP stated clearly that drinking is not a regular activity for them, but everyone wants to be included in a celebration. We lose so much food culture and we lose our freedom to eat out and eat at parties safely. It's hard to go into a social situation and not know what you can and can't have. It wasn't at all about a "need to drink alcohol."

There is nothing wrong with wanting to have a drink with your friends at a celebration and feel sad about being left out. I'm not a big drinker by any means but I do LOVE good wine and really good high quality beer. I sobbed like a baby about not ever being able to have Guinness again even though I only drink it maybe TWICE a year. Knowing I can never ever have that experience again made me sad.

There ARE things that are about the food or the drink or whatever and that's just the way it is.

Guinness: I know how you feel! I've only had it a couple times in my life, but I miss it so much.

[Jestgar]

.... You, and not anyone else, are responsible for what goes into your mouth, even in social situations.

true, but there are times when I'd give just about anything to be able to eat and drink with friends without asking about every stupid ingredient, and who washed which pan with what and did you wear gloves and was the bread next to my plate and is that soy sauce and did you make that or buy that and was it a new jar that you opened and so on and so forth.

Sometimes I just want to scream that I have enough responsibility in my life and I shouldn't have to be responsible for the tiniest scrap of food that goes into my mouth. I want to go out and just forget that I have any issues at all. And so I drink wine, or overpriced specialty drinks not made from mixes, and for a few hours I don't have to ask about anything.

Give the poster a break. We all screw up from time to time, and the best you can do is learn from your mistakes.

[BigDogz]

Well, now that I've had the misfortune of reading the response to the response.....

What the heck is THAT supposed to mean?? Since I was a teen, I've busted my a$$ going to school, working multiple full-time jobs and making sure my brother was raised right and staying out of trouble. I didn't have relatives to fall back on for support. Each of my grandparents had died a decade or more before I was born and my Dad hadn't seen or heard from his siblings since he'd enlisted at age 18. So, I made my way the best that I could so that my brother and I could survive. As much as I hated losing my Dad, I've not regretted a minute of the life lessons I learned because it taught me about the important stuff - family and friends - and it's made me grateful for every little, tiny, blessed thing I have.

.... You, and not anyone else, are responsible for what goes into your mouth, even in social situations. Unless you're physically incapacitated or an infant being hand fed. This means you must make a good faith effort to make your order precise AND gluten free.

You're preaching to the choir, here, about personal responsibility and I THOUGHT I was making a "precise and responsible" gluten-free order. As I've noted in ALL of my posts, I don't know jack about alcohol because I've never had much experience with it! I said WINE COOLER because I knew wine was gluten-free and I was under the logical assumption that a wine cooler WAS wine...and, therefore, gluten-free!

If your need to "blend in socially" includes deliberately risking making yourself sick the next day(s) because you won't clearly tell a waiter what you need, and are unwilling to ask the bartender (an ingredients expert, usually) if they have some vodka made with potato not wheat, and could they put that with something else over ice, or just get you a glass of plain wine, then lambasting other people for making safe suggestions is just being done to be difficult.

Why is it that everyone seems to think they know just what my "needs" are? I may have worded it poorly in the OP, but I WANTED to join in the festivities and did so THINKING I WAS MAKING A SAFE CHOICE! And, again, since I DON'T KNOW about alcoholic beverages, my reacting to my drink was FAR from deliberate! In the 20 years since I've been of legal drinking age, I've been in a bar all of about SIX TIMES! I'm so sorry that I don't have any concept of what they serve and don't serve in pubs, but I was too busy trying to make a living and raising my kid brother to be painting the town red!

Also, I was NOT "lambasting other people for making safe suggestions" nor was I "just being difficult". But...I was upset that someone would presume I was acting out of immaturity or adolescent "needs" and simply told them so. Then again, you might not have gotten that since you jumped to your own presumptions.

I actually feel sorry for you. Yours must be an awfully difficult life being as perfect as you seem to think you are and not allowing yourself or anyone around you a little latitude to make mistakes.

Alcohols are liquid sugars, so if you're sensitive to the effects of sugar, thinking that they're not going to have the same effect as a soda with hfcs is not correct. If you are safe with any type of artificial sweetener, carry it with you in your purse or wallet so you have it if you want or need it.

Do I type in Chinese? I clearly gave 3 reasons why I can't do artificial sweeteners...the biggest of these being they give me MIGRAINES! I live in my body every day and I know that sodas cause me yeast issues. I don't have the issues with other sugars...including the little alcohol I drink...so whether alcohol is a liquid sugar or not, my body doesn't seem to see it that way.

Smart cocktail waiters actually love us polite people who order nerd drinks like diet sodas or mineral waters over ice, and then make sure to give them a better tip than what they'll get with somebody ordering a complicated mixed drink, who is rude and then CHEAP on top of it. Less hassle, bigger profit margin, don't have to worry about liability with drunken driving or calling a cab. They assume you're the dedicated driver, or perhaps just have an early morning, or have a job where you are never allowed to be hungover. They don't care. That's what it looks like on the other side.

I might have ended up fending for myself and brother at a tender age, but the time I *DID* have with my Dad was pure quality and I was raised right...taught from the start the value of good manners, honesty and properly timed "Yes, sir's" and "No, ma'am's" and I still say that to this day.

Whether I'm drinking "nerd drinks" or alcohol or whatever, I will NEVER be anything but polite. I've NEVER had more than 2 alcoholic drinks over the course of an evening, NEVER been drunk or had a hangover, NEVER done drugs or been arrested/jailed and I will FOREVER be the perpetual designated driver. Am I boring? No! I just figure that you're not going to like me any better when I'm too bombed to know what kind of horrible things I'm saying and doing. Anyway, I have a job and, the way I was raised, that means you show up as scheduled and without a hangover regardless whether your job is flipping burgers at the local fast food joint or listening to a controversial case on the Supreme Court!

Lastly, I thought the whole purpose of this forum was to gain knowledge and help from others. I'm relatively new to this whole celiac disease thing and that's what I tried to do by posting, but you chose to give me a lot of grief. I now understand what my Dad meant when he said, "The more I see of human behavior, the more I love our dog."

To all of those who gave suggestions and supported me in the spirit of this forum, thank you. I very much appreciate your kindness and help.

[jackay]

Has anyone run into problems at a bar that washes their drink glasses by hand? Right now I can't drink due to too many other foods sensitivities including grapes and potatoes, which rule out wine and vodka plus no sweetnerers due to candida. However, I do hope some day I am able to tolerate all non-gluten food and drinks and would like to feel safe drinking in a bar.

I'm lucky in one way because I have always HATED beer so didn't have to give that up.

[zkat]

I am so sorry your original post/question got derailed. I will be happy to provide you with some of my bar coping strategies that may help you in the future. If I am in a bar, I tend to stick to the simple. I don't want to quiz the bartender when they are very busy. Most unflavored liquers are gluten free. Watch out for the flavored or "girly" drinks as DH calls them. Almost all of the bottled wine cooler type drinks are malted - smirnoff ices, mike's hard lemonade etc. Not all hard ciders are gluten free, so unless you know which brands are gluten-free I would avoid them.

Malibu and Pineapple juice(clear, coconut flavored rum)- also a lower content alcohol so good choice for you

Wine, though the alcohol content is a little heavy for someone who doesn't drink often, so the wine spritzer

Vodka Tonic - ask for it light on the vodka

Cosmopolitan (vodka, triple sec, cranberry & lemon twist) - specify your vodka to ensure it is not flavored

If I am in a resturant and it is not the dinner rush, I will quiz the bartender a little more on a margarita. Most top shelf's are not from a mix and would be safe. I also like vodka martini's dirty - but it is a strong drink. I am not much on the mixed, fruity flavored drinks. The sweetness really does a number on my blood sugar the next day and that usually = one nasty hangover.

Something that really helped me when I first started the diet - I would save notes in my phone with cheat notes because chances are I am not going to remember when I am at the resturant or bar.

Kat.

[ravenwoodglass]

Has anyone run into problems at a bar that washes their drink glasses by hand? Right now I can't drink due to too many other foods sensitivities including grapes and potatoes, which rule out wine and vodka plus no sweetnerers due to candida. However, I do hope some day I am able to tolerate all non-gluten food and drinks and would like to feel safe drinking in a bar.

I'm lucky in one way because I have always HATED beer so didn't have to give that up.

I always ask to have my glass rinsed well before a place makes my drink. I may be overly paranoid but as a bartender in a few smaller bars we had a 3 well system. The first well was soapy water, the second was clear rinse water and the third one had something called 'Sanitabs' that the glasses were put in to soak. This was long before I was diagnosed celiac and don't know if the regs are still the same but this was in every state I bartended in. I have no idea what is in the tabs so I do ask for a bar to rinse the glass and no one has ever complained. I do hang on to that glass for the night so I don't have to be a pest about it. If I am having a drink with dinner in a restaurant that isn't an issue though as they will run the dishes through the dishwasher rather than hand washing.