Get email alerts Get Celiac.com E-mail Alerts  




Celiac.com Sponsor:
Celiac.com Sponsor:




Ads by Google:






   Get email alerts  Subscribe to FREE Celiac.com email alerts

Dating A Celiac
0

17 posts in this topic

I just started seeing a woman with Celiac Disease. She's pretty special, so I want to get it right. I'd appreciate any advice you could give me!

I'm not looking for recipes (I can find those myself). I'm looking for potential issues I might not have thought of. For example, I didn't realize until I found this forum that kissing can spread contaminants. I'm glad I found out about that one early!

Thanks!

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites


Ads by Google:

I think it may all depend on how sensitive she is to gluten. Some are very sensitive, my daughter not so much.It depends maybe on how sick she is or was. The experts will give their advice,I'm still learning since my daughter was diagnosed.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Kissing is the only real hidden danger I can think of. My husband and I share a gluten-free kitchen, which is nice, though occasionally he'll bring home something premade that has gluten. He's careful about contamination should he reheat something in the microwave, and he washes his hands immediately after (maybe I'm overreacting, but gluten-y hands touching the fridge door or something freaks me out).

I'd just be super careful about cross-contamination should you decide to cook her a meal. Maybe such things should be done at her place until you get the hang of it.

Also, you might want to let her decide where you go out to eat, since she probably has some limitations.

Otherwise, the fact that you care enough to post on here is a pretty good sign that you'll be careful, so I'm sure things will be fine. :)

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Aww, what a considerate guy! I agree with Mskedi. And just be very careful when eating before you see her. Brush, wash face and mouthwash before kissing. And beer and some distilled drinks like bourbon are problems (even though drink makers say the gluten is distilled out, I can tell you from personal experience that it's not always the case).

Have fun!

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

And always wash your hands after eating, before you do anything else.

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites




"Dating a Celiac" sounds like a good series title for Showtime or HBO!

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

"Dating a Celiac" sounds like a good series title for Showtime or HBO!

Maybe lIke the bachelor. Gluten free dates. Or maybe more of a competition. They have to cook for the Celiac and get eliminated if they gluten her.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The best thing you can do is exactly what you are doing - being considerate, taking her needs seriously, and asking questions :) If she's anything like me she would happily answer the same question 10 times (does this contain gluten, do I need to etc etc) to know that people close to me are taking my health seriously.

Cross-contamination has already been mentioned, this is a big issue. There can also be a lot of emotion attached to being gluten free - missing out on favourite foods, feeling left out or different etc. You didn't mention how long she has been gluten free, but even it it's a long time, feelings about food can still pop up. If she gets fed up or upset, just try and be sensitive to it.

You are doing a great thing by finding out how to deal with this early on. Unsupportive partners can be a nightmare for someone with celiac, so I'm sure she will appreciate your effort. There will be other issues that come up if you end up moving in together or having kids - are you willing to have a gluten-free kitchen, or even house. These are all things you can negotiate along the way.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks guys! I'll bear all this in mind!

Maybe lIke the bachelor. Gluten free dates. Or maybe more of a competition. They have to cook for the Celiac and get eliminated if they gluten her.

Really, it should be on the food network. It can't be weirder than Iron Chef.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Maybe lIke the bachelor. Gluten free dates. Or maybe more of a competition. They have to cook for the Celiac and get eliminated if they gluten her.

During the last season of the Bachelor, I was thinking--in a flight of fancy--that it might be fun to apply to be the next Bachelorette. Never mind the fantasy suite; the one who keeps a clean mouth and who scrapes me off the floor after a glutening is the keeper. lol

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Maybe lIke the bachelor. Gluten free dates. Or maybe more of a competition. They have to cook for the Celiac and get eliminated if they gluten her.

Ha ha- I love it!

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Round of applause for you!!! You are a keeper and this earns you like 1000 points!!!

The same stuff the others said. Cross contamination and kissing. Brush your teeth after you eat gluten and wash your hands too.

Good luck with the new relationship. If she doesn't appreciate the efforts you are making, then keep trying because a guy willing to do what you are doing is a good catch.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Aaaw, nice of you to be considerate! Same as others said. And, I'm all about being fair and am NOT about one partner unequally bowing to the other, etc. Unfortunately (for me, who is gluten intolerant, lol) being gluten intolerant requires 'special attention' and a fuss which I hate. So... it might seem unequal with you catering to her and sacrificing more than vice versa due to the diet. So just...be patient. Some things will be annoying. The places you'll eat at will be limited if you want her to be able to eat too. Don't think just because something doesn't obviously have wheat in it that it is safe. Gluten can basically be hidden anywhere, and she isn't "safe" to eat something unless she's checked up on it and knows it's good. that kind of thing, plus the cross contamination issue, etc. So... Just try to be as patient and accepting and accommodating as you can. And, hopefully she'll be willing to sacrifice/accommodate here and there if you want to eat out somewhere else where she'll just have to eat a baked potato or something. But if she seems ultra picky or "paranoid" about food, maybe has random outburst of tears over the lack of food-availability for her - just be patient and don't take it personally. :) I'm very self-conscious about the hassle my diet puts upon others, so doing what you can to ease that (if she has it) would be nice. I know I appreciate it greatly when it happens.

Good luck with the new relationship. If she doesn't appreciate the efforts you are making, then keep trying because a guy willing to do what you are doing is a good catch.

And I agree with this too. Don't forget yourself in this either.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You're sweet - my husband and I both have Celiac, and we hope when our sons grow up, they find such sympathetic girlfriends.

Find out whether she wants you to attempt to cook for her at first, or if it will just make her feel nervous and pressured. Better yet, offer to cook WITH her, i.e. you'll cook if she hangs around to supervises. ;) We do get so tired of cooking sometimes!

Many times, the people in our lives who love us attempt to cook for us in their gluten-containing kitchens as a surprise, and once they have gone through the effort, we feel like we need to eat the food to show them how much we appreciate it. It's all well intentioned on everyones' part, but sometimes you get glutened this way. Then the person who is glutened is embarrassed to tell the well intentioned person that they were glutened by their food - afraid they'll be hurt or put off, scared to every try again - it's not good.

Typical newbie mistakes would be making gluten-free cookies on your regular cookie sheet - or a gluten-free cake in your regular pan - or gluten-free pasta using your regular pot and colander - or using part of a stick of butter that was used directly on a piece of toast. Unfortunately, gluten sensitivity comes from the part of the immune system that is used to fight bacteria and viruses, so it takes very little "contamination" to raise a response in some people. The first year after I was diagnosed, I was particularly sensitive.

I suggest taking things slowly with regard to cooking - use her kitchen, or use yours with supervision - until you get used to the type of issues that can pop up.

You're off to a great start - good luck!

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

If you use a lip balm, make sure it's gluten free.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thats sweet that you want to take ever precaution to keep her from getting sick just remember ask lots of questions if your not sure about something, I'm still trying to get it through my boyfriends head that he cannot use my pots and pans to cook gluten food! Ughhh so frustrating have had to replace my pots and pans a few times <_<

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

April in KCs response was so good. I think that's one of the trickiest situations, well-meaning friends who are going out of their way to "help" but not being informed enough to avoid cross contamination or gluten containing ingredients, and then the gluten-intolerant person looking ungrateful when he/she can't eat what was offered.

I think it would also be good to find out from her what her reactions to gluten are like and to be aware that for many celiacs, there are emotional responses when they get glutened: depression, anger, anxiety. Knowing upfront about some of those reactions will help both of you deal with them better when they come.

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now
0

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      104,703
    • Total Posts
      921,801
  • Topics

  • Posts

    • Hi everyone, I've been reading this forum sporadically and have some questions of my own. I'm in my 40s and was diagnosed with celiac last December by biopsy and blood work after months of tests by my primary and then a gastro. My husband, around the same age as me, was dx'd with stage 4 cancer a month later, so admittedly it's took me longer than I'd have liked to learn about celiac. Now I feel pretty on top of my diet. I mostly make my own food - proteins and veggies, with some certified gluten-free snacks in the mix - and am pretty strict about what I will/won't eat at friend's houses or in restaurants (I prefer to go to dedicated gluten-free kitchens whenever possible). I'm doing okay on the diet, but still getting glutened every so often, usually when I let me guard down outside the home. I also periodically see my primary and a naturopath (who happens to have celiac!), but still, I have many questions if anyone would care to answer:

      -FATIGUE. I'm still so tired, fatigued so much of the time. My doctors blame this on the stress of my husband's diagnosis and my periodic trouble sleeping. But even during weeks where I'm sleeping enough (8-10 hrs a day), eating right, exercising as I can, trying to keep stress at bay, I'm still so bleeping tired. Maybe not when I wake up, but by late afternoon. Often my legs even feel weak/wooden. Has anyone else experienced greater fatigue early on after being diagnosed? This will pass, yes? I know I could cut out the sweets and that could help, but also, being a caregiver is hard and sometimes it's nice to eat your feelings between therapy sessions.  

      -SYMPTOMS CAUSED BY FATIGUE? Sometimes I'll have other "feels like I've been glutened" symptoms if I haven't gotten enough sleep, though I'm trying so hard to sleep at least 8 hours a night these days. Hasn't happened in a while thankfully, but there was a point this summer where my insomnia was bad and my arms were achy and I had some crazy flank/back pain I'd never experienced before. For weeks. Doctor ordered me to sleep sleep sleep, taking Benedryl if needed. I did, and the symptoms went away, but weird, yes? Has this happened to you? I ask because I want to make sure I'm getting all strange pains tested to the full extent if there's a chance it's something other than celiac. I do sometimes still feel that strange side stitch after a CC incident.

      -SKIN PROBLEMS. I have had a smidge of eczema since I was a teen and it - and the dermatitis herpetiformis I've acquired with my dx - are out of control right now. I recognize the connection with stress, but also, has anyone found any great natural remedies for DH to stop the itching? I've tried so many useless ointments and medicated creams, a number of them given to my by a dermo months ago. I see my naturopath this week, but thought I'd ask here too.

      -MOSTLY gluten-free KITCHEN GOOD ENOUGH? My husband is supportive of my diet and mostly eats gluten free meals with me, but we still keep a gluten-y toaster for him and the gluten-y dog food in a corner of the kitchen and he still makes the occasional meal with gluten for himself on his own cookware (ravioli, pizza, mac n cheese, etc). Or sometimes I make eggs/toast and the like for him when he's too sick to move. Otherwise, we're militant about how we cook, which cookware we use, etc. He even has a kitchen nook off our den where he makes sandwiches. But sometimes I wonder if having two separate sponges in our shared-ish main kitchen is enough and I should just banish all gluten whatsoever from the kitchen. I can't be the only one with a mixed kitchen, right? How do you do it if you have a mixed-eating family?

      Thank you so much!  
    • Hang in there!  Count your blessings.  Do something you like to do and relax. I know that is hard to do as a young mother (as I sit here in the kitchen sipping coffee quietly as my teenager is sleeping in after a late football game last night where she marched in 90 degree plus weather in full uniform).   But seriously, take a few minutes to relax!  
    • Meredith, this is very true. A colonoscopy is for diagnosis of the lower intestine, endoscopy for the upper intestine.  How did your doctor interpret the tests? I suggest you read the link Cycling Lady gave you because it contains a lot of good information. 
    • Sorry, but this product (supplement) is not even certified gluten free.   Seems odd that a product geared to Non-Celiac Gluten Intolerance would not take the extra step of getting certified.   I guess I am a Nervous Nellie, especially after the reports that several probiotics were contaminated with gluten.   https://celiac.org/blog/2015/06/probiotics-your-friend-or-foe/
    • Thank you for posting that. I've had a lot of that bloodwork done and everything is normal. At the peak of this belly bug I had blood work done and my white count was fine. I think it's just my health anxiety scaring me into thinking this is something scarier (to me) than celiac. Maybe the anxiety will subside once I go gluten-free. The anxiety is brutal.
  • Upcoming Events

  • Blog Entries

  • Recent Status Updates

  • Who's Online (See full list)

  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      61,705
    • Most Online
      3,093

    Newest Member
    imissdonuts
    Joined