Privacy And Your Feelings About It?

[seezee]

Hi I have an eleven year old daughter who was diagnosed with celiac about a year ago. She decided that she prefers to keep this information private from her classmates at school and only tells her close friends or others who need to know

(eg waiters in restaurants or parents of kids when she goes to their houses). For some reason (unlcear to me?) her teacher decided that this is a bad decision and has joked to her class about gluten free all year and this week finally announced that it is my daughter that needs to eat gluten free. The head of the school and the principal have both apologized to me and made the teacher apologize to my daughter and they have spoken to the teacher at length, but my daughter is still in this class.

Since she is 11, she is old enough, I think, to decide what she wants to tell other people and what she wants to keep private. The principal agrees and has told her this.

Does anyone else have any issues with teachers being difficult and unreasonable?

How do middle schoolers generally deal with telling other children especially those that are just in your class but aren't friends?

What would you do if you were me or her?

I try to give her as much control as I can and she is really very responsible about it.

I'd appreciate any advice from other kids her age or parents of children her age.

Thanks,

[TrillumHunter]

Wow. This tops it for me.

I'd be livid. I'd feel like her rights had been violated.

I'm not a litigious person, but I believe I would consider that route if this "teacher" weren't fired.

Would she "joke" about diabetes? Would she out a child with HIV?

Spoken to her at length wouldn't be enough for me. Dismissed would be best; leave without pay and mandatory counseling and sensitivity training would be the only other acceptable path.

I'd be praying hard for her each day and myself not to catch her in the parking lot and deck her.

That's my .02.

[ravenwoodglass]

That teacher should be fired. Under the Health Information Act she had no right to disclose a personal health issue. She broke the law.

[Ahorsesoul]

Not with the teacher on this one at all. Since the teacher knew you dd wishes they should have been met. I question why no one told her to stop talking about being gluten free when it first started.

Keeping this issue private. I feel this should not be a private issue. Everyone she could possibly get some type of food/candy from should know her limitations and she needs to feel confident enough to say so to all. The side effects could be private. That part I understand.

[jerseyangel]

What a terrible thing to do. My kids are grown, but I think what this teacher did was unconscionable and that the principal and the board of education should have done more than given her a talking to--albeit a "long" one. I would go over the principal's head on this.

It's bad enough when the people close to us crack jokes and don't take the condition seriously--but this was more than a passing comment--she built up to it all year. Like TH said--would she dare do this to a diabetic child or one with another condition? For the life of me, I cannot understand what it is about Celiac that gives some boneheaded people the license to criticize and judge.

I'm so sorry that your daughter was hurt this way. This makes me so mad.

[ciavyn]

I have to disagree with ahoursesoul on this one...reason being...kids can be quite cruel. And now that they know about her issue, someone might try to sabotage her, for the heck of it. Let's face it, this is an easy one to mess with, and it sounds bizarre when you haven't had much experience with it. Not to mention: your daughter had a right to keep this to herself and be normal.

I also agree that the teach violated her right to privacy, and I would follow this through. Best of luck.

[seezee]

Thanks -

This year we (husband and I) met twice with the head of the school to discuss this and other issues and I have talked several times with the school nurse about this the teacher. I think the teacher will say that she accidentally blurted it out. The principal told me that she just doesn't get that what she did is wrong or a big deal and seems to think it's a lot of fuss over nothing. She seems to be someone who does that kind of thing. She is also generally late to school, makes a lot of careless mistakes grading, skips school on most Fridays, lets the kids play a lot, and leaves her class unattended during the day.

If I was to file a claim under the Health Privacy Act how might I do that? It's a private school so I don't know what their obligations actually are. There is not district to go to.

I want my daughter to feel comfortable telling people, and it's her news except when people need to know (like her teacher or the school). She is old enough to know not to accept candy or treats and politely declines.

I have no control over whether they fire her. It's the end of April now so there is only about a month left and next week is vacation. I asked to have her moved to the other class and the school said no that it would be disruptive to the community in that people would ask questions about it. I also think it's because most of the other parents are not pleased and might want to follow.

[buffettbride]

I'd be angry, too.

Your daughter is simply trying to control what she can about Celiac. She can't control that she has it, but she can control who she tells. That's SO important at that age, I think anyway. It was totally out of line for the teacher to announce it to the class.

[ciavyn]

Others can help you on the legal aspect better on this than me, but I would fight this as though my life depended on it. What school has the right to make a decision because it might "disrupt" others? What about your kid?! Shouldn't the best interest of the child be the guiding factor? I would threaten to make such a stink about this, they wouldn't need to worry about that little disruption -- yours will be bigger! I'm appalled. I can barely type, that ticks me off so much. I grew up in private schools, and I know how this goes -- please fight it.

Two -- I think you can call up the school district and find out your legal rights. They may not have complete control over it, but they can certainly lead you in the right direction and give you some resources to contact.

I'm not one for getting on the case of schools, and I think celiacs is hard, because it is strange to outsiders. But the school's response is outrageous, and your child's right to her medical privacy is just that. Her right -- You could also contact your medical office and see what they say. They may have some other suggestions of what you can do.

Beyond that, I'd have a fit if my money -- tuition money, no less -- was going to the salary of such an irresponsible teacher. She gives the profession a bad name, and I'd raise cane on that alone.

[jerseyangel]

Others can help you on the legal aspect better on this than me, but I would fight this as though my life depended on it. What school has the right to make a decision because it might "disrupt" others? What about your kid?! Shouldn't the best interest of the child be the guiding factor? I would threaten to make such a stink about this, they wouldn't need to worry about that little disruption -- yours will be bigger! I'm appalled. I can barely type, that ticks me off so much. I grew up in private schools, and I know how this goes -- please fight it.

Two -- I think you can call up the school district and find out your legal rights. They may not have complete control over it, but they can certainly lead you in the right direction and give you some resources to contact.

I'm not one for getting on the case of schools, and I think celiacs is hard, because it is strange to outsiders. But the school's response is outrageous, and your child's right to her medical privacy is just that. Her right -- You could also contact your medical office and see what they say. They may have some other suggestions of what you can do.

Beyond that, I'd have a fit if my money -- tuition money, no less -- was going to the salary of such an irresponsible teacher. She gives the profession a bad name, and I'd raise cane on that alone.

I was planning to respond, but ciavyn said exactly what I was going to say. I would be incensed that my child should have to put up with such treatment so as to keep the peace. Best of luck with whatever you decide to do--and please keep us posted.

[digmom1014]

OMG!! As a teacher we have several inservice training sessions regarding privacy laws in general. I myself was taught to deal with allergies in the classroom, i.e. how to use an Epi pen over ten years ago. You are taught never to disclose personnel information on a student. (PERIOD!!)

Are you in a state with a union? Our teachers union is very strong on upholding privacy laws, and even though it is a private school, a union representative may be able to help you. I would try to contact your area's school district to find out who their union represntative is for this year. Please bring it to their attention and any documentation you may have as well. The principles & others written statements will help support your daughters situation. After all, teachers do not reveal other students IEP's, medical conditions, or disablilities to other students.

Lastly, I hope your daughter is okay, has brushed it off, and knows this person is an unfeeling individual. I know my 13 yr. old would not want me to make a stink. In a way it is to your benefit that it is so close to the end of the school year. That way whatever you do, the other children aren't privvy to the information. Also, remind her that summer break makes memories fade!

[Mskedi]

That teacher should be fired. Under the Health Information Act she had no right to disclose a personal health issue. She broke the law.

Like digmom said, we teachers are absolutely DRILLED on how important it is to keep health information we have on our students private. This is a HUGE issue, and since you mentioned the teasing before she blurted it out, it sounds like it wasn't accidental.

It doubly sucks that the teacher doesn't seem to be doing her job.

I'd bet if you mention the Health Information Act or the fact that you may pull her out of the school (even if it's an idle threat -- unless this is a private school with a lengthy waiting list, they probably want your money), something can be done.

[seezee]

I really appreciate all the advice and support. We have April vacation coming up next week and I will think about all of this. My sister is a very good letter writer so I think I will start with a strongly worded letter. I can't change what has happened but I can try to make sure it doesn't happen again or to someone else.

[polarbearscooby]

Hi I have an eleven year old daughter who was diagnosed with celiac about a year ago. She decided that she prefers to keep this information private from her classmates at school and only tells her close friends or others who need to know

(eg waiters in restaurants or parents of kids when she goes to their houses). For some reason (unlcear to me?) her teacher decided that this is a bad decision and has joked to her class about gluten free all year and this week finally announced that it is my daughter that needs to eat gluten free. The head of the school and the principal have both apologized to me and made the teacher apologize to my daughter and they have spoken to the teacher at length, but my daughter is still in this class.

Since she is 11, she is old enough, I think, to decide what she wants to tell other people and what she wants to keep private. The principal agrees and has told her this.

Does anyone else have any issues with teachers being difficult and unreasonable?

How do middle schoolers generally deal with telling other children especially those that are just in your class but aren't friends?

What would you do if you were me or her?

I try to give her as much control as I can and she is really very responsible about it.

I'd appreciate any advice from other kids her age or parents of children her age.

Thanks,

I'm 19 and I have chosen only to tell close friends and of course family...

If I were your daughter I'd be very upset as not only did her teacher break a bond of trust what she did was just plan out mean....

I would want her fired

[Eilidh]

That teacher is crazy and should not be teaching children! I am 17 and I have known for 5 years. Most of my family is celiac as well, so everyone knew. I didn't really have to tell my teachers because it didn't effect them, but when ever I do have to explain what celiac disease is to a teacher, they are usually understanding. The part that is hardest is the fact that I have to be extra, extra careful, and teachers never understand that I can be sick for a week if I get a crumb. As for telling friends, I have told everyone. I want more people to be aware of what celiac is. It was hard to see my littlest sister at 3 years old explaining what celiac disease is and asking adults "Is this gluten frwee?" The best advice I can give is to educate your child as best you can, so they can explain to other kids and adults what gluten is doing to their body. Life does get easier, and it is better when you feel like yourself.

[seezee]

Follow up - she had an appointment with her GI doctor who was stunned. She put us in touch with the celiac medical team clinical social worker who is helping us out. I sent a very strongly worded letter based on their advice to the head of school. Haven't heard back yet, but teacher was not in school today. Daughter seemed so happy when I picked her up as she had spent the day working on math with a couple of other kids.

In addition to the previous problem, dd told me that on Friday they had a class discussion in which the teacher said that the class was going to bake brownies with Oreos on top and pizza and what should they do about a kid who doesn't want to eat them and made each kid answer. I put this into the letter as well.

[jackay]

In addition to the previous problem, dd told me that on Friday they had a class discussion in which the teacher said that the class was going to bake brownies with Oreos on top and pizza and what should they do about a kid who doesn't want to eat them and made each kid answer. I put this into the letter as well.

This better get that obnoxious blankety blank teacher fired! Sounds like a possible lawsuit to me.

[RideAllWays]

I don't flaunt it, but once I am offered food and I mention that I cannot have anything with gluten in it the questions just keep on coming. I look at it as a way to educate as many people as I can (without preaching!). A lot of my friends are really really good about it and even understand CC quite well. The more the people you are surrounded with understand the easier it is to cope. If only I could get my family to be as good as my friends!

[ravenwoodglass]

In addition to the previous problem, dd told me that on Friday they had a class discussion in which the teacher said that the class was going to bake brownies with Oreos on top and pizza and what should they do about a kid who doesn't want to eat them and made each kid answer. I put this into the letter as well.

That teacher is a sadist and need to be fired and prevented from ever teaching again. Schools don't need teachers like that. Although I am not a fan of lawsuits If your child starts being bullied in school in relation to her celiac because of this teachers actions a lawsuit might just be in order. She should at least be required to pay for any counseling that is needed because of it.

[jerseyangel]

In addition to the previous problem, dd told me that on Friday they had a class discussion in which the teacher said that the class was going to bake brownies with Oreos on top and pizza and what should they do about a kid who doesn't want to eat them and made each kid answer. I put this into the letter as well.

There are no words for what that "teacher" is continuing to do. I wish you much luck with the letter, this person should not be allowed to work with children.

[kareng]

Do the parents of the other kids know? I would be angry that a teacher was trying to make my child bully & shun another child. Even if this school fires the teacher, someone else might hire her. You may have to "go public" to protect other kids from this teasing.

[seezee]

I don't flaunt it, but once I am offered food and I mention that I cannot have anything with gluten in it the questions just keep on coming. I look at it as a way to educate as many people as I can (without preaching!). A lot of my friends are really really good about it and even understand CC quite well. The more the people you are surrounded with understand the easier it is to cope. If only I could get my family to be as good as my friends!

But that's different. You might not be so happy if your supervisor at work had a meeting with you and all your co-workers to talk about what to do about someone who doesn't want to eat the cake at his birthday party and made each one to say what they thought should happen. It's fine when it's your choice to make decisions about what you want to do at a social event and it's another thing if someone who is in charge of you makes it everyone else's business.

[jerseyangel]

It's fine when it's your choice to make decisions about what you want to do at a social event and it's another thing if someone who is in charge of you makes it everyone else's business.

Yes, and doubly so when it's a child we're talking about and the teacher is not respecting his or her privacy.

[seezee]

Still fighting the school. The social worker who is a celiac specialist at the hospital is assisting. The medical team is very concerned. I can see now why there are federal laws about this. The school's approach seems to be to try to ignore it. SW says this is a common technique given that many parents give up. The problem is she says the emotional and physical damage is cumulative so I can't.

[TrillumHunter]

Hang in there! You are forging a path and that can be tough. Your daughter must be so proud of you! Let us know how it goes.

Sending strength and courage your way.