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Your Significant Other


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45 replies to this topic

#1 hypersof

 
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Posted 22 April 2010 - 09:00 PM

Hi all

I am writing tonight, looking for some input about everyday life at home, regarding your significant other, his/ her reaction when diagnosed/ going gluten-free/ being glutenated etc...because I didn't really have to deal with that so far, but I will soon!

>>I have been diagnosed about 6 weeks ago.
The first 2/3 weeks were a bit chaotic, it was day-to-day dealing with understanding what I could safely eat (neg bloodwork, dr. advised me to try the diet anyway, but I had no idea where it was going/ if I "really" was going to do that -for life) so I didn't change a lot at home, and hubby did go on eating gluten.
Due to a very positive response to the diet, I (dr. agreed) decided I have to stick to it.

Right after that, hubby & me were away from home for spring break.
Then I came back home, but he's still away. So I delt alone with replacing the cookware/ trying to get more comfy with the diet etc...felt a bit lonely at times; but in a way that was much easier, because I could focus and do my things without having to explain, etc.

Now, hubby is coming back home (finally :)) in a week. So, we will have to deal with this together: another adaptation period.
We discussed it a bit already, and there is a good chance he'll go gluten-free with me at home (maybe not regarding beer, though)
But we mainly discussed it at a distance, so there will be some adjustments to work on!
I know he will be supportive (he is already!) but I am curious about the way it happened for you guys? was it easy or tough?

For now, the only things I can think of is:
-try to educate myself the best possible, so that I can explain things simply to hubby and educate him as well. I find this new gluten-free life both easy at times, and tough on me at others, and I realise this is a big change for my significant other, too. I want him to understand me and what I am going through! I feel like I need to "get ready" for this, so that it ends up being a positive experience for both of us!
-I also bought a bunch of different gluten-free pastas for him -since going gluten-free I mostly experimented new grains like quinoa millet & buckwheat, but he loves pasta so I figured it would be nice to have some to cook & try with him when he's back :)

So, here it is.
Sorry for the huge post! hope you guys will find some interest in the topic & come drop a line, give a tip or two according to your own experience...
Thanks!!
Sophie
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Sophie

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#2 RideAllWays

 
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Posted 22 April 2010 - 09:08 PM

My boyfriend and I live together, and our kitchen is strictly gluten-free. Whenever friends come over he is the first person to tell them that they can't eat gluten, and beer is only allowed in the living room and cannot be poured down the sink. He does sometimes pick up gluten at the caf between classes or fast food before work, but he always always brushes his teeth after he eats. I didn't ask him to go gluten-free though, he just decided he'd rather I be healthy and having a special kitchen would make it a lot better.

Good luck!
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#3 MagpieWrites

 
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Posted 22 April 2010 - 11:54 PM

In my case, my husband is the one that started clearing out the cupboards - I had planned to just go gluten free by myself and keep cooking "normal" food for him. He wasn't having with THAT load of nonsense (his words!). While he will eat items with gluten outside of the home sometimes, at home, he is gluten free as well. And since I pack his lunch most days - even at work he is usually gluten free! Really, the only times he eats gluten is when he is out with his mom at a restaurant. When we go out together, he has lately started keeping to a gluten-free menu so we can both try what the other is having and there are no worries about leftovers. (PF Chang's is great for this - but with some asking around, we've also managed to find a wonderful pizza place and our favorite little Chinese restaurant started keeping gluten-free soy sauce and bought a separate wok to keep on hand for when we drop by!)

It's funny, in a weird way the previous two years of some serious health scares made this whole celiac thing a breeze for him to handle. There was a bad period when the doctors were convinced I had stomach cancer - and about a year of me being seriously ill from another issue. He told me a few months ago that after spending so long terrified that I was going to die, finding out he just has to stop bringing wheat bread and fast food home is a snap! Add in that I'm finally feeling so much better that other aspects of our life together are getting more.... active, he seems to feel its a fair trade.

I think it helps that we both love to cook and experiment in the kitchen. As long as the food is tasty and we get to play together trying it out, he's fine with whatever ends up on the table!
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Diagnosed with celiac in the summer of 09 - after being sick since I was a teen with no answers. I miss "real" pasta - but its a fair trade off for getting my life BACK.

#4 ciavyn

 
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Posted 23 April 2010 - 02:18 AM

It's going to depend on the person. My husband has no problem eating meals I make or letting me rule the kitchen, but he has his separate area where he has his gluten items, and he eats them regularly. It's not worth arguing over to me, as I can't blame him. So I just keep my stuff separate.
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Gluten free: Nov. 2009
Peanut and dairy free: Dec. 2009
Rediscovered dairy: March 2010 (in small quantities)
Peanuts added back: June 2010 (in small quantities)

#5 modiddly16

 
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Posted 23 April 2010 - 03:56 AM

My boyfriend and I live together and our kitchen is whatever. I do the majority of the cooking, with no complaints from him...and I tend to make meals that are gluten free. However, just because its gluten free doesn't mean you have to cook any differently than you would normally, it's easy to avoid gluten containing items when you eat shrimp, chicken, meat, etc... Our kitchen isn't gluten free strictly but my boyfriend does an amazing job at cleaning up on a regular basis if he has anything containing gluten. I don't have separate pots and pans either, pans I typically use aluminum foil as an extra precaution and pots/dishes/utensils get double washed. First by hand and then in the dishwasher.

I know I'm in the minority with this and a lot of people have separate items but I don't. I've noticed that if your significant other loves you and supports you in general, going gluten free won't be as challenging as it seems.
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#6 Gemini

 
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Posted 23 April 2010 - 08:07 AM

My boyfriend and I live together and our kitchen is whatever. I do the majority of the cooking, with no complaints from him...and I tend to make meals that are gluten free. However, just because its gluten free doesn't mean you have to cook any differently than you would normally, it's easy to avoid gluten containing items when you eat shrimp, chicken, meat, etc... Our kitchen isn't gluten free strictly but my boyfriend does an amazing job at cleaning up on a regular basis if he has anything containing gluten. I don't have separate pots and pans either, pans I typically use aluminum foil as an extra precaution and pots/dishes/utensils get double washed. First by hand and then in the dishwasher.

I know I'm in the minority with this and a lot of people have separate items but I don't. I've noticed that if your significant other loves you and supports you in general, going gluten free won't be as challenging as it seems.



Very nicely put and you are absolutely correct! A spouse does not have to go gluten-free just because their wife/husband has Celiac. It's all about respect and if the other person has that and cleans up after themselves, there should not be any problems. I also do not use separate pans...they are cleaned well enough after eating and it has never been an issue at all. Everything I make is gluten-free and my husband loves my cooking but we do live in the real world where there is plenty of gluten and it should not be something to fear. I would never expect my husband to stop eating gluten completely because I have Celiac
and in return, I have someone who goes out of his way to make sure he does nothing wrong to make me sick. Can't ask for more than that!
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#7 sandiz

 
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Posted 23 April 2010 - 08:42 AM

My boyfriend and I live together and our kitchen is whatever. I do the majority of the cooking, with no complaints from him...and I tend to make meals that are gluten free. However, just because its gluten free doesn't mean you have to cook any differently than you would normally, it's easy to avoid gluten containing items when you eat shrimp, chicken, meat, etc... Our kitchen isn't gluten free strictly but my boyfriend does an amazing job at cleaning up on a regular basis if he has anything containing gluten. I don't have separate pots and pans either, pans I typically use aluminum foil as an extra precaution and pots/dishes/utensils get double washed. First by hand and then in the dishwasher.

I know I'm in the minority with this and a lot of people have separate items but I don't. I've noticed that if your significant other loves you and supports you in general, going gluten free won't be as challenging as it seems.



I completely agree here. You are cooking fresh, if a sauce is needed make your own. Watch the ingredient list on pre made things. We don't have separate cooking utensil just be careful, wash(we use bleach in the water) Both of us cook and the only thing that has gluten is his bread for sandwiches for work. Thinking that spouses can learn along with us, mine is. Good luck to all.
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#8 hypersof

 
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Posted 23 April 2010 - 08:48 PM

Hi there!

I am amazed by all your answers; thanks for the input :)

I agree hubby shouldn't have to go gluten-free for me, but he's the one who came up with the idea (when he began realizing the extent of cc problems, mainly) and I won't complain because we currently have a tiny tiny kitchen...plus I do most of the cooking; I like it :)

woooow, writing that, I realize that since we are together (even though I "forced" him to eat more fresh foods/ fruits/ veggies), I eat way more pasta/ pizza/ gluteny stuff in general, because he loves all these things...and that's also since I am with him that my symptoms appeared -well, got more noticeable, and then much worse...

Anyway, you all got me a lot to think of, thanks :)

any additional input are welcome, of course!

have a sweet week-end
Sophie
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Sophie

#9 JNBunnie1

 
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Posted 24 April 2010 - 10:50 AM

My boyfriend used to keep some packaged gluten foods in the house, nothing that would be cooked with, but he got paranoid about even that. He's the one who decided to get rid of all the gluten in the house, he also makes friends wash their hands when they come in, I can't tell you how many times someone's said, Well, I didn't have any gluten today, but ok. And then been like, oh wait, I had a sandwich... and never did wash my hands.... It's funny. Most of the time when we're out he eats gluten-free so he can still kiss me, but sometimes he'll indulge. Then he goes through his process of drinking lots of water, swishing, brushing twice when he gets home, eating something else, and brushing again, to make sure it's all gone. He's so cute.
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If you're going through hell, keep going. ~Winston Churchill

#10 hypersof

 
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Posted 24 April 2010 - 08:19 PM

My boyfriend used to keep some packaged gluten foods in the house, nothing that would be cooked with, but he got paranoid about even that. He's the one who decided to get rid of all the gluten in the house, he also makes friends wash their hands when they come in, I can't tell you how many times someone's said, Well, I didn't have any gluten today, but ok. And then been like, oh wait, I had a sandwich... and never did wash my hands.... It's funny. Most of the time when we're out he eats gluten-free so he can still kiss me, but sometimes he'll indulge. Then he goes through his process of drinking lots of water, swishing, brushing twice when he gets home, eating something else, and brushing again, to make sure it's all gone. He's so cute.


That's adorable :D
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Sophie

#11 summerteeth

 
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Posted 26 April 2010 - 05:40 AM

My fiance has free reign of one (large) cupboard - he barely uses it. He likes sandwiches, but other than that, he doesn't really eat much gluten. I have no problems with him having sandwiches or gluten containing items, but he knows by now that he has to wash his face & brush his teeth before getting close to me. He also knows that he cannot use my cast iron pans to cook grilled cheese. He has his own tupperware, one frying pan, a cutting board, and two cookie sheets.

We never really have problems in our kitchen.
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dx celiac disease- November 1, 2008
dairy/casein free (much to my chagrin) for good- September 1, 2010

#12 kareng

 
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Posted 26 April 2010 - 07:24 AM

My fiance has free reign of one (large) cupboard
We never really have problems in our kitchen.


I like a man who knows his place! :P
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#13 rnbwdiva

 
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Posted 11 May 2010 - 03:00 PM

I'm so glad to read this post. My husband is really into his bread and cookies and not very good at seeing things when he cleans up or paying attention to where he puts things when he is preoccupied. I have talked to him about keeping his bread in a designated area and only cutting it on a certain cutting board, but we have not yet managed to completely separate things. It can make me so sick that I feel like turning my study into a separate place for food preparation...
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#14 hypersof

 
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Posted 11 May 2010 - 04:55 PM

I'm so glad to read this post. My husband is really into his bread and cookies and not very good at seeing things when he cleans up or paying attention to where he puts things when he is preoccupied. I have talked to him about keeping his bread in a designated area and only cutting it on a certain cutting board, but we have not yet managed to completely separate things. It can make me so sick that I feel like turning my study into a separate place for food preparation...


I am sorry for you!

it turns out, this is going OK for us -hubby came back 10 days ago...

I had a hard time explaining cc and not looking like I'm completely paranoid to him...and he decided to stick to his first idea of being gluten-free with me (at home only) because he feels he would be overwhelmed if he had to watch all of his movements (cleaning the crumbs, not kissing me after beer, washing his gluteny hands etc.)
being gluten-free at home means he only needs to wash his hands/ teeth when he comes back home from work; so much easier!

on the other hand, I cook gluten-free bread & sweets so he doesn't feel deprived (and for myself, too :)
and at times, I think he still wonders if I really GOT to be so careful...though he also sees how much better I feel now, so I think (hope?) he will eventually understand it is not just me over-reacting.

...so it is fine, but you gotta work hard to make it work :)
hope this is going to work out for you too! can you try to insist more on the "cleaning the crumbs after you" thing? doesn't it work if he sees you getting sick from cc?
keep us posted!!

Sophie
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Sophie

#15 New_To_This

 
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Posted 13 May 2010 - 05:27 PM

I see all your response are from the gluten free half of the equation. My husband is the gluten free (the one with Celiac)half of our equation so to speak. Since I do the cooking we are both gluten free. I have learned how to re-create some of his favorite meals and desserts so he doesn't feel to deprived. We have found that we absolutely HATE gluten free store bought bread! I found a recipe that is very close to the "real thing" though. The one problem I have come across with it is it dries out to fast. Otherwises its really good. And thats saying a lot when it comes to bread. We have had family over for holidays and the whole meal is gluten free, much to their surprise, they all like what they are eating. I guess my husband is pretty luck, he got a wife you loves to bake and cook, or this could be a real pain in the backside for use both! I find there are things I miss once myself, but don't dare have them in our home. What matters more to me that a moments pleasure is my husbands health. So if I am away from home on rare occassion (by myself) I might eat something I miss having, but most of the time I eat gluten free away from home out of habit. There's not much I miss as I have found substitutes for most items, thank goodness. I'm glad to hear that your husband is willing to go gluten free for you. You are very lucky, not many spouses are willing to take that step. It will get easier as you find recipes and foods to substitute your old favorites with. I found Gluten free brown rice Lasagna Noodles, what a treat! Best of luck to you!
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