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Getting Married, Scared For My Future Children


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#1 gfreegirlie

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Posted 24 June 2010 - 06:01 AM

I've only been gluten free for about a year now. Things still aren't going so well for me with the diet. I am currently engaged and getting married in October. I am so worried for my future children. It breaks my heart to think that I might be the cause of something like this on them. I have always wanted a big family. My fiance and I have talked about having 5 kids. Everytime I think about my future children possibly becoming celiacs it brings me to tears. Is there anything I can do to help cope with this?
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*Gluten-free
*Strict Vegetarian

On the Gluten Free diet almost a year now.

Still constantly getting glutened.

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#2 Looking for answers

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Posted 24 June 2010 - 07:24 AM

I don't know if you are religious or not, but if I were you, I would remember that what we "inherit" and what we don't is God's will. We cannot control these things. Your children could be born with Celiac disease whether or not you have it. The great thing is that you'll be more in tune with food interlorances/allergies, which are getting more and more prevelant each decade. Whatever happens, your children will be in good care and, in my opinion, gluten and processed foods aren't good for most children anyways.

BTW, I know I'll take a bullet for this one, but I was a strict vegan for almost a decade, until I got so sick my hair was falling out, my thyroid was in terrible shape etc. I see that you are a vegetarian. I can't advise highly enough that you monitor your intake of soy. The way we fracture it here to make soy dogs and soy burgers and soy this and that causes many inflammatory problems (I recommend you read about the subject on mercola.com . . . it literally saved the quality of my life). I'm just assuming you've replaced meat with soy, but maybe not. But if this is the case and you eat it daily, it may be causing you problems that you are currently attributing to cross-contamination or accidental glutening. I'm not saying you can't be a vegetarian, but just watch out for this, it took me a long time to figure this out myself.

Congrats on the engagement. Marriage is a wonderful journey!!!
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2010- Gluten, Soy, Corn, Dairy, Eggs, Nut free. Sugar, non-gluten grains lite(Yes, still plenty to eat!)
2010-Doctor diagnosed me as Celiac then took diagnoses back, then said avoid gluten for life
2009 Low T3 thyroid hormone, muscle twitching and adrenal fatigue
2006- Elevated Speckled ANA. GI suggested Celiac. Started gluten-free diet, but sloppily
2005 - Thought I had wheat "allergy." Stopped eating bread, oats problem too
College years - Still vegan -sickest point in life. Every classic celiac symptom
Teenage years - Stomach pain prompted veganism -> BIG mistake!
Child - Awful gas, D, C. Chronic infections, appendix and tonsils removed

#3 polarbearscooby

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Posted 24 June 2010 - 07:47 AM

I agree...I'm not anywhere near old enough to get married (imho) but I pray everyday that God will let it pass over my kids.....
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#4 GlutenFreeManna

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Posted 24 June 2010 - 08:24 AM

I guess I see it a different way. I plan for my future kids to BE gluten free as long as they are at home. That's whether they have it or not. When they grow up and get out on their own they can experiment with gluten and find out if they are able to eat it. They will have my blessing to eat whatever they want when they are on their own, but they will have the advantage of knowing about the dangerous health risks associated with Celiac disease and how to spot the signs. There are many societies where bread and pasta is not a staples of the diet like it is here in the US. There is no danger of malnutrition from NOT eating gluten-containing grains. The worst thing about this disease is probably the social aspects. But as more and more people learn about celiac disease/gluten intolerance there is more understanding for alternative diets.
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A simple meal with love is better than a feast where there is hatred. Proverbs 15:17 (CEV)

#5 GlutenFreeManna

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Posted 24 June 2010 - 08:27 AM

BTW, I know I'll take a bullet for this one, but I was a strict vegan for almost a decade, until I got so sick my hair was falling out, my thyroid was in terrible shape etc. I see that you are a vegetarian. I can't advise highly enough that you monitor your intake of soy. The way we fracture it here to make soy dogs and soy burgers and soy this and that causes many inflammatory problems (I recommend you read about the subject on mercola.com . . . it literally saved the quality of my life). I'm just assuming you've replaced meat with soy, but maybe not. But if this is the case and you eat it daily, it may be causing you problems that you are currently attributing to cross-contamination or accidental glutening. I'm not saying you can't be a vegetarian, but just watch out for this, it took me a long time to figure this out myself.

Congrats on the engagement. Marriage is a wonderful journey!!!


I totally agree about the soy replacement foods. I was vegetarian for 5 years and all the soy burgers and tofu did not make me healthier during that time. I was always very low energy with more aches and pains due to the soy.
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A simple meal with love is better than a feast where there is hatred. Proverbs 15:17 (CEV)

#6 TrillumHunter

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Posted 24 June 2010 - 09:09 AM

If not celiac, then what? No one is perfect. When you agree to have a child, you get what you get for the most part. And even if they come out perfect at the beginning, it doesn't mean they won't get meningitis at three and be brain damaged. Does that sound mean? I don't mean it that way, but agreeing to be a parent means putting aside your own expectations of what "should" happen. There is joy in parenting all kinds of kids. And never underestimate the power of your influence over your kids. If you teach them that it stinks to have celiac, they WILL agree with you. If you teach them that your health is important and food isn't the end all, be all of every social situation, they will learn that, too.


Be married for a while. Five kids is a lot of kids. A lot. I never wanted any, and now I wish I had at least two more. My SIL wanted six and can barely deal with her two. You won't know until you have your first.
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#7 missy'smom

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Posted 24 June 2010 - 09:32 AM

As far as health issues go, I don't have more than my one and only because my body can't handle it. Otherwise, on their side of the picture, I would have no hesitation. I look at it this way, my kiddo has such an advantage over past generations since his mom is up on these things and we have some clue what his genetic makeup predisposes him to so we can keep an eye out and hopefully spot things.
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Me: GLUTEN-FREE 7/06, multiple food allergies, T2 DIABETES DX 8/08, LADA-Latent Autoimmune Diabetes in Adults, Who knew food allergies could trigger an autoimmune attack on the pancreas?! 1/11 Re-DX T1 DM, pos. DQ2 Celiac gene test 9/11
Son: ADHD '06,
neg. CELIAC PANEL 5/07
ALLERGY: "positive" blood and skin tests to wheat, which triggers his eczema '08
ENTEROLAB testing: elevated Fecal Anti-tissue Transglutaminase IgA Dec. '08
Gluten-free-Feb. '09
other food allergies

#8 tarnalberry

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Posted 24 June 2010 - 09:57 AM

It was something that crossed my mind when we decided to have a kid. But, really, the gluten free diet is not the end of the world. It's not as problematic as so many other things that are genetic. (We've got heart disease, breast cancer, rheumatoid arthritis, obesity, high blood pressure, and other issues in our blended family that my daughter gets to inherit from. I think those are all far worse than celiac.)

As trilliumhunter said - expectations aren't really useful with kids; what will be will be. Seven weeks in to parenthood, I expected to have breastfeeding down pretty well, I mean the human race needed it for survival for millennia, but no, we're still having issues with her not mauling my nipples. (We're working through it with the help of an OT and PT who specialize in newborn feeding issues.) Seven weeks into parenthood, I expected to be able to get out and about at least a little - go for regular walks every day, perhaps, but no, it's subject to when she wants to eat, if she'll not cry about being in the carrier or stroller, and when she next wants to eat. Seven weeks in, I didn't expect to still be so tired that it was unsafe for me to drive, but many days, I won't get behind the wheel because I didn't get enough good quality sleep. Seven weeks in, I didn't think I'd be medicating my baby, but she's on Zantac for reflux that was not dealt with through position changes, dietary changes, and feeding changes. So, lots of expectations dashed in less than two months. I'm sure there will be more along the way - it appears to just be a part of parenthood. :)
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Tiffany aka "Have I Mentioned Chocolate Lately?"
Inconclusive Blood Tests, Positive Dietary Results, No Endoscopy
G.F. - September 2003; C.F. - July 2004
Hiker, Yoga Teacher, Engineer, Painter, Be-er of Me
Bellevue, WA

#9 TrillumHunter

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Posted 24 June 2010 - 10:21 AM

It was something that crossed my mind when we decided to have a kid. But, really, the gluten free diet is not the end of the world. It's not as problematic as so many other things that are genetic. (We've got heart disease, breast cancer, rheumatoid arthritis, obesity, high blood pressure, and other issues in our blended family that my daughter gets to inherit from. I think those are all far worse than celiac.)

As trilliumhunter said - expectations aren't really useful with kids; what will be will be. Seven weeks in to parenthood, I expected to have breastfeeding down pretty well, I mean the human race needed it for survival for millennia, but no, we're still having issues with her not mauling my nipples. (We're working through it with the help of an OT and PT who specialize in newborn feeding issues.) Seven weeks into parenthood, I expected to be able to get out and about at least a little - go for regular walks every day, perhaps, but no, it's subject to when she wants to eat, if she'll not cry about being in the carrier or stroller, and when she next wants to eat. Seven weeks in, I didn't expect to still be so tired that it was unsafe for me to drive, but many days, I won't get behind the wheel because I didn't get enough good quality sleep. Seven weeks in, I didn't think I'd be medicating my baby, but she's on Zantac for reflux that was not dealt with through position changes, dietary changes, and feeding changes. So, lots of expectations dashed in less than two months. I'm sure there will be more along the way - it appears to just be a part of parenthood. :)


BTDT---it will pass. It's hard now, but you'll forget what it means to be too exhausted to drive. My hardest baby is now my most delightful teen. My easiest baby is now a very challenging tween. You know in some cultures a woman would just be reentering society. Here we expect women to be back to a 60 hr week at 7 weeks.

Take care of you and your beautiful baby! The rest will come. :)
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#10 polarbearscooby

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Posted 24 June 2010 - 11:57 AM

You are all so right, celiac is certainly not the worst thing in the world! As the sister of a special needs kid I can attest to this....I don't have nearly as many complications as she does....
And every kid if a gift from God....
If you think you are mature enough to have kids then you should be mature enough to understand that every kid is different right?
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#11 scarlett77

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Posted 24 June 2010 - 12:25 PM

Don't look at it as a curse...look at it as an opportunity to teach about all the great foods out there that CAN be eaten. Think outside the box. And honestly if you introduce this type of eating lifestyle from the beginning they will not know any different. Yes there are the social occasions and eating out that is a pain...but if you teach them well it will be second nature to them.

Wheat, barley, and rye are not a necessity in any diet. And there certainly are way worse things than being Celiac.
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Mommy to James, who is Celiac diagnosis by blood test and confirmed by endoscopy on 9/29/2009. Our household has been gluten free since.

#12 gfreegirlie

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Posted 26 June 2010 - 06:19 PM

I am religious which makes it easier sometimes. Some days I think of this as a sort of blessing, maybe my life would be alot different if I wasn't a celiac or perhaps it will lead me to doing something I wouldn't generally do. Some days I just break down though. I am sure it is that way for everyone.

I actually don't eat too much soy. Occasionally some tofu, maybe two or three times a month but I thought that tofu was fairly safe.. I used to eat the dogs and stuff but I have only found one brand of veggie burgers that are gluten free.

Thank you for the congrats and the advice :)
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*Gluten-free
*Strict Vegetarian

On the Gluten Free diet almost a year now.

Still constantly getting glutened.

#13 gfreegirlie

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Posted 26 June 2010 - 06:39 PM

Thanks everyone for the support and wise words. I understand that it isn't the worst thing and that every child is different, that is what comes with being a parent. I just worry for the difficult times. It's hard enough being a perfectly healthy child. I know there will be a lot of plus' growing up with the knowledge, better health, and strength for them.
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*Gluten-free
*Strict Vegetarian

On the Gluten Free diet almost a year now.

Still constantly getting glutened.

#14 mommida

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Posted 28 June 2010 - 06:24 AM

Congratulations!
I think you would make a great parent. You are already thinking about the well being of your children. You are accepting what the parents here have told you here. Every pregnancy is different. Children are thier own little person even in the womb. I kinda think, they are the greatest gift you never knew you wanted. You get to find out who they are and nurture the talents you find.
Who knew I would ask my daughter to draw something? I wait for her to finish, like I'm waiting for a Christmas present.
Who knew I would buy my first baseball mit when I was 35? My son has been playing baseball for about 4 years now, and I can switch hit just like him. Now that he's bigger I need catcher's protection. :o

You will find yourself doing things you never thought you would do in a million years. i.e. trying to catch your kids puke with your bare hands. :rolleyes:

I wish every one would stop to consider what being a parent means, before they have kids.
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Michigan

#15 AllergyQ

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Posted 28 June 2010 - 09:34 AM

I just found out about 2 wks ago that i have Celiac. Ten yrs ago i was diagnosed with Graves disease and it has always been in the back of my head that one of my children may someday have this. Now i have to get all three tested for Celiac and all i can do is pray that they don't have it...but if they do, then i know i caught it early and there may be a chance they won't have other health issues because of it. I know it will be trying if even 1 of them have Celiac. I am having a hard enough time changing my diet..getting them to will be ridiculously hard, but it will have to be done.

Everyone already has their own allergy... mine is cats...my son is dustmites...my daughter is pollen....and my youngest daughter Peanuts, so we do have some experience dealing with allergies. I did not expect any of this when i had my children and if i knew these issues would come about i would have had them anyway.

There are good days and bad days....we've had many scares with fingers being cut open, chins being split, hospital stays, seizures(my son had them till he was 12)
choking, near drowning...I could go on and on. All these things are very stressful and scary but you get by them and years later you say "remember when". Life is full of ups and downs and winding curves, especially if you have children. The enjoyment of watching them grow is well worth it all. When you see that little face smile up at you..you know you will do anything in the world for them. Good luck with you choice...only you know what's right for you.
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