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I Just Snapped!


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#16 Juliebove

 
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Posted 28 July 2010 - 09:59 AM

when eating fructose when your body should not creates really bad reactions in my daughter, weepy, combative (not hitting, just really over the top stubborness), etc. it is awful.

I am sorry you are going through this.


Hmmm... My daughter gets like that sometimes. At first it was only when she ate an allergen. I suppose she could have new allergies that we don't know about. My daughter does hit sometimes. This is getting bad because she's almost as big as I am now and she is very strong. I'm afraid she'll hurt me.

Last night she wasn't paying attention to me. Tried to grab something off my computer desk without looking and almost got stuck my my insulin needle. I was about to do my insulin when someone IMed me and I put the needle down on the desk to answer.

Then she got angry with me for grabbing her arm away like I did and threw down the mirror that she had grabbed. It landed right onto the needle, bending it. So I had to dispose of it and get another.

One thing that is for sure with her, she reacts very quickly. Not always appropriately and often not so. So that's the bad part.
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#17 RollingAlong

 
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Posted 02 August 2010 - 08:56 AM

I agree, it sounds like a new food intolerance is in the game.
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#18 Janelee63

 
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Posted 03 August 2010 - 05:17 PM

She has food allergies and not celiac. She was diagnosed at age 6, almost 7.

I think the issue she had went beyond food though.

We went shopping today and while we were in Target, she did something I have asked her countless times not to do. I carry a big purse and I have to carry it on my left side. Not sure why. I do have scoliosis (that's a bent spine, although mine is not so obvious) and some other medical issues that leave me disabled. I have to push the cart for support (I have a lack of balance) and for some reason I have to carry the purse on the left side. It is just not comfortable for me to put it on the other side.

She likes to help push the cart. And that's fine. I've told her she has one of two choices. Either get her own cart and not ram it into the back of my legs...although she invariably does this at least once or twice... Or grab the cart handle on my right side.

But for some reason she insists on being on my left side. Then she whaps my purse time and time again so it hits into me. And I don't like that. I politely asked her to move to the other side a couple of times. She refused.

I stopped the cart. Told her I was not going to relive that fight today that we have had countless times before and to just go to the other side. She would not. I slapped her hand like you would with a toddler. She gripped the cart even more tightly. I could not get her hand off of it. Could not pry it off.

So... I did the only other thing I could think of to do. Charged forth as rapidly as I could and turned the corner so sharply that she had no choice but to let go or run into an endcap of hair products. She then glared at me with slitty little eyes and regripped the cart even firmer and on the left side.

I told her she was acting like a toddler. And she was. Told her that either she move to the other side, or my shopping was done. I would leave the store right then and there and she could find her own way home. She didn't believe me. Continued to push her luck. So I said, "Fine!" Grabbed up my three reusable Target bags from the cart, turned and proceeded to do the closest I could do to running.

She then released the cart, leaped helplessly into the air and burst into tears. Then she begged me not to go and went to the other side of the cart. Later she demanded an apology but she did not get one.

I don't know what it was. She was fine after that. Just snapped right out of it. Didn't complain when I told her she had to help me put away the stuff we bought and help me fix dinner. She actually fixed most of the dinner herself. We made a lot. Double batch of soy and wheat free teriyaki and double batch of meat and vegetable loaf. I made the rice.

Now she is acting like none of this is happening. Is watching the movie that I bought for her. I had also threatened to put the movie back if she didn't start doing what I said. I had said that prior to threatening to leave her in the store. Gah!

I really think it's the age. I can remember threatening to leave my neice in a Walmart at about the same age. My daughter was 4 then. She wasn't the one acting up. It was my neice! I can't remember the exact incident but I think she refused to leave the Barbie aisle in the toy department and we needed to leave the store because we had some sort of appointment or something. That's how I learned that little trick. Very effective one. But perhaps a bit cruel.


I have raised three kids and am currently raising my 3 y/o grandson. I think she is testing limits. Dad is not around...she is probably angry about the allergies and that dad is gone. HOWEVER... I think you did great. I think kids WANT and need discipline. Call her bluff every single time. She will outgrow this. The Love and Logic books are so helpful. I still pull mine out to refresh!
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#19 Juliebove

 
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Posted 04 August 2010 - 12:47 AM

This might not apply at all, but...have you ever had her checked for other food issues?

My daughter - just turned 12 about a week ago - sounds very similar. Big melt downs with crying and furious anger. And they just go on, and on, and on. Like she just doesn't know when it's time to finally say: you have to stop now or your mother is going to lose her mind!

Very hard to deal with - you have my sympathy!

But we made some changes in her diet and it has pretty much entirely disappeared.

We had decided to keep a food log to see if she was having food issues - after a Celiac diagnosis - and dropped the 8 major allergens, plus a few allergens from our family tree.

I don't think we were expecting it to affect her behavior, but it did! Her crying jags really dropped. Her inability to control herself dropped. We went to organic foods, as well, and have noticed another drop in angst level. (have since seen a recent study on pesticides being linked pretty strongly to mood problems/ADHD issues in kids)

At this point, we have figured out that if my daughter has dairy or a corn, her angst levels will slowly rise for each day she eats these. We take them away and the angst ebbs. It's the opposite of what I would have expected, considering how much she loves dairy and corn.

Lots of fructose seems to cause the same issue, we believe, although we are trying to track that and see if it is true, or if it is something else. I've since learned that if the body has trouble digesting fructose, it can interfere with the absorption of tryptophan, which means the next day, the body doesn't make enough seratonin, which regulates mood and our ability to control our moods.

It kind of made sense, looking at it that way.

I honestly have no idea why these foods mess with my kids this way - my son seems to have the same reaction to eggs. Allergy, or sensitive, or who knows what. But I can tell you that it has made a HUGE difference in our lives since we've taken them out!

Even in mine! When I figured out corn in our kids, for the first time I noticed the same issue in me! The day after I eat corn, I wake up in a foul mood that lasts for the rest of the day. I have trouble coping with every little problem, I feel frustrated and upset for hours after any difficulty. When I stay away from corn, everything is easier to deal with and less stressful. I don't know if this is how the kids feel, but even MY life has improved. And I've since found others who have mood related issues with foods, so...who knows. Might be worth a try to track what she eats and how she's feeling, ya know? couldn't hurt, anyway!

Good luck!


We both have multiple food allergies. This I know.

Before learning of the food allergies, the school thought she had ADHD. I have posted the story here before. I won't go into it again.

I really think it's her age. Either she loves me and is very happy, or I am the evil beast and I can do no right. She flip flops back and forth like this.
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#20 Juliebove

 
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Posted 04 August 2010 - 12:50 AM

I have raised three kids and am currently raising my 3 y/o grandson. I think she is testing limits. Dad is not around...she is probably angry about the allergies and that dad is gone. HOWEVER... I think you did great. I think kids WANT and need discipline. Call her bluff every single time. She will outgrow this. The Love and Logic books are so helpful. I still pull mine out to refresh!


She actually seems happy that he is gone. It's a hard situation but he creates a ton of stress when he is around. One big reason is that he doesn't believe in food allergies. Another is that he sees her as a baby still and doesn't want her to grow up. So it's easier for her not to have to deal with him.

She has been better for the most part. But eating a meal with her is very difficult. She will say I took too big of a bite. Then she'll say I didn't have enough food on my fork. Or I didn't hold the fork right. Or my mouth wasn't right. Or my eyes weren't looking right. Always something. Something to complain about.
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#21 Dixiebell

 
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Posted 04 August 2010 - 04:13 AM

I hope you don't mind if I put in my two cents. My daughter is 19, and just moved out. It sounds like she isn't comfortable with herself. If you don't do this already, try to give her a compliment every day. When she making negitive comments, I know it is hard to do, just don't respond, change the subject. This has been the best tool I have ever used.
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Started on this journey w/ my 9 yr old son after a bout w/ the flu in the fall of 2009.
2 neg celiac blood tests, mine was also neg. No endo done. Son had x-ray, showing severe constipation. Son has latex allergy. KP for both of us.
Long family history of bowel problems, auto-immune and all sorts of cancers. My G-mother informed me that she was put on a gluten free diet after she had my mom (1950's), of course she stopped when she felt better. She has had problems ever since I can remember.
So here we are! I do have my son's Dr to thank for even bringing up celiac! Thank You Dr.B!
My adult daughter also has been helped by eating gluten-free.

#22 TrillumHunter

 
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Posted 04 August 2010 - 05:26 AM

She has been better for the most part. But eating a meal with her is very difficult. She will say I took too big of a bite. Then she'll say I didn't have enough food on my fork. Or I didn't hold the fork right. Or my mouth wasn't right. Or my eyes weren't looking right. Always something. Something to complain about.



Does she do this at every meal? I have a friend with OCD and that is the kind of stuff she would do before therapy.

I have a daughter this age as well, so I can identify with a lot of what you are saying. I have to remind her often that she is, in fact, NOT a grown-up yet and therefore doesn't get an equal say in things.

Your daughter has a lot of food restrictions already-real and self-imposed-maybe before you add on to that you should explore another avenue?

Daughters are tough to raise and you're doing a good job.
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#23 anabananakins

 
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Posted 04 August 2010 - 05:30 AM

*hugs*

I think you are doing a great job, you're really patient. It's a terrible age. I remember lying on the floor kicking and screaming because my mother added spinach to the lasagne. I can't believe I behaved like that, but at the time it was so serious!

She has been better for the most part. But eating a meal with her is very difficult. She will say I took too big of a bite. Then she'll say I didn't have enough food on my fork. Or I didn't hold the fork right. Or my mouth wasn't right. Or my eyes weren't looking right. Always something. Something to complain about.


This kind of reminds me of how I feel if I my blood sugar levels drop. I feel like my skin is crawling and I get insanely irritable. I remember being furious with my boyfriend for the way he was breathing (your comment that she complains about such silly things like your eyes or mouth made me think of this). It's more than just usual complaining (which I would think of more as around issues like room cleaning or turning off the TV etc). I hope you're able to work it out soon, meanwhile sending you best wishes.
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#24 Juliebove

 
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Posted 04 August 2010 - 01:06 PM

when eating fructose when your body should not creates really bad reactions in my daughter, weepy, combative (not hitting, just really over the top stubborness), etc. it is awful.

I am sorry you are going through this.


Right now she is totally out of control! My plans for today changed. I was supposed to get a hair cut but the stylist had to leave town suddenly for a family emergency.

So I told my daughter that instead, we would go to Nordstoms to get her feet measured. I don't think they have grown, but I want to make sure. I offered to get her a new pair of shoes. Normally she wants shoes but now she does not. Not even for school. She also needs new ballet shoes. She was taking 4 hours of ballet a week last year so went through 2 pairs of shoes. Technically she can still wear the ones she has but they look horrid. The Marley floors they have in the studio seem to eat the pink color right off. So I wanted to have her feet measured so I know we are getting the right size ballet shoes. Those come from another store. She has wide, thick feet so shoes are always a problem.

Now she is stomping around the house, screaming that she won't go have her feet measured. She doesn't think it needs to be done and she doesn't want any new shoes. Not even ballet shoes.

I know she wants to watch a movie. She got two new ones with her birthday money. But it is just too hot today to be in the house. We have no AC. Tomorrow will be cooler and all next week will be cooler. We just need to get out of the house today, IMO.

The only cause I can think of is the yogurt. She outgrew a dairy allergy and was told she could have dairy twice a day. But a few days ago she developed a stye in her eye and was put on antibiotics. That Dr. told her to eat yogurt daily to prevent upset stomach and possible yeast problems. Of course she loved this advice because she doesn't get yogurt too often. I am thinking daily dairy is not a good thing at all. She has several more days of pills to day. I have Acidophilus pills but since the Dr. told her to eat the yogurt, I know she will go by that. I did get her to take one pill but she doesn't think she needs them. Grrr..
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#25 i-geek

 
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Posted 05 August 2010 - 08:43 AM

Would she try a non-dairy yogurt? I didn't see soy in her allergen list, and Silk makes really good soy yogurts. So Delicious also makes a line of coconut milk yogurts that are very good. Those two brands were my go-to when my gut was healing from celiac damage and I couldn't eat any dairy. You don't even have to tell her that you've bought it because you think she's reacting to the dairy (at this point it would probably make her refuse to try the new stuff). Maybe you could just buy a few containers and say that you heard these were good and were curious to try them.
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#26 mommyto3

 
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Posted 05 August 2010 - 12:47 PM

My son is going through something similar. Even if he likes a food, as soon as he finds out it's gluten free he throws it down and says "this is gross....I'm never going to be able to eat anything yummy ever again".

He was just diagnosed 2 weeks ago and he's 6. I think it's the greiving process and being just plain overwhelmed.

Try buying gluten free food and just feeding it to her without making a big deal about it. I find that works better with my son. If she likes it, you can do your happy dance in another room so as to not draw attention :D . If she doesn't then so be it. I think it's the hyper-focus on gluten that sometimes gets the kids down.

Good luck!
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#27 Juliebove

 
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Posted 14 August 2010 - 10:08 PM

Would she try a non-dairy yogurt? I didn't see soy in her allergen list, and Silk makes really good soy yogurts. So Delicious also makes a line of coconut milk yogurts that are very good. Those two brands were my go-to when my gut was healing from celiac damage and I couldn't eat any dairy. You don't even have to tell her that you've bought it because you think she's reacting to the dairy (at this point it would probably make her refuse to try the new stuff). Maybe you could just buy a few containers and say that you heard these were good and were curious to try them.


I don't allow her to have soy. She outgrew a soy allergy so technically can have it twice a week. I know she is getting it in the form of soybean oil in some restaurants and she does eat some things with soy lecithin. But I won't allow any whole soybeans, soy milk or soy protein. The reason? I used to eat a lot of soy and developed a thyroid problem. When I stopped consuming the soy, my thyroid problem went away. Thyroid problems run on both sides of the family.

She does eat coconut yogurt sometimes. But recently had told me she was sick of it. However I do not thing it contains the lactobacillus like dairy based yogurt does and that was the reason she was supposed to eat it.
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#28 Juliebove

 
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Posted 14 August 2010 - 10:16 PM

My son is going through something similar. Even if he likes a food, as soon as he finds out it's gluten free he throws it down and says "this is gross....I'm never going to be able to eat anything yummy ever again".

He was just diagnosed 2 weeks ago and he's 6. I think it's the greiving process and being just plain overwhelmed.

Try buying gluten free food and just feeding it to her without making a big deal about it. I find that works better with my son. If she likes it, you can do your happy dance in another room so as to not draw attention :D . If she doesn't then so be it. I think it's the hyper-focus on gluten that sometimes gets the kids down.

Good luck!


I was just annoyed at the cost of it all!

Some years ago, we went through something similar. Because she has outgrown dairy and egg allergies, she can only have these things twice a week. That pretty much limits the breads she can eat.

I tried making them on my own. Mostly they didn't work. I got one perfect loaf from a mix. But the next two times I tried it? Yuck. So she was eating Ener-G brand. But we can only get a few kinds in the stores here. And she doesn't really like that stuff.

So I ordered all these breads in 2 slice packs from them. She said she hated to corn loaf. So I never ordered it again. But once it was offered as a freebie. A whole loaf. I told her if she didn't want it, just to throw it out. No big deal. But this time she wanted it. And she liked it!

But then there was some other kind. Flax loaf. She was afraid to eat it because it smelled like my bread. I was eating a flax bread at the time but it did have some wheat in it. Finally convinced that it was safe, she tried it and said she loved it. Begged for more. So I ordered a ton of it. Only to find out that now she hated it and wouldn't eat it.

I would be really happy if she would just give up bread altogether! But she won't. She says all the other kids take sandwiches in their lunch and only sandwiches, or Lunchables. There is one kind of Lunchable she can eat. The nachos. But she can only have those twice a week and the one day she picked to have them is Sunday. She won't take a thermos of anything. I can't say that I blame her because her backpack is heavy enough the way it is.

When I was her age, I mainly took trail mix with me. I even made my own to make sure it only contained what I liked. But she hates trailmix. Doesn't like the nuts she isn't allergic to. Doesn't like any seeds, or dried fruit or coconut. Grrrr.
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#29 luvs2eat

 
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Posted 15 August 2010 - 04:55 AM

When I started reading your story, I thought to myself, "I'll bet she's around 12." How well I remember that age w/ my oldest. She was once hysterical and yelling at me and I said, "What's the MATTER w/ you??" And she fell into my arms sobbing, "I DON'T KNOWWWWWWWWWW." It's a FUN age.

All that said... I've often thought that being diagnosed at a very early age would have been easier for me. I had 30+ years of cooking and baking (I loved to bake) under my belt when diagnosed. I've yet to taste/bake a chocolate chip cookie that remotely compares to the onces I made for years. I don't bake much anymore, 'cept for the weekly bread loaf. gluten-free bread isn't bad, but it sure ain't the challah bread or crusty country loaves I used to bake! If I'd always been gluten-free, I'd have had nothing to compare.
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luvs2eat
Living in the beautiful Ozark mountains in Arkansas
positive blood tests and later, positive biopsy
diagnosed 8/5/02, gluten-free (after lots of mistakes!) since that day
Dairy free since July 2010 and NOT happy about it!!

#30 Juliet

 
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Posted 16 August 2010 - 06:55 AM

There has been som more recent research talking about the adolescent brain (and from my experience with my 3 younger sisters and my niece, adolescence in girls really seems to start at 11)

http://www.psycholog...teenagers-brain

One of the points that, I feel, is most interesting is the part about the pre-frontal cortex:

"Undeveloped Brain Territory

One part of the teen brain that is undeveloped until the mid-twenties lies in that second scoop of the ice cream cone. This is called the pre-frontal cortex (PFC). This part of the brain, when fully developed, is in a constant dialogue with the emotional brain (the limbic brain). In the adult, the PFC and the limbic brain are in balance, each one inhibiting the other. So when an adult has an emotional reaction to being cut off by a speeding car, the PFC part of the brain says-"Hey, stop, and think about your desire to go speeding after that car. You might get a ticket, you might cause an accident, your insurance rates will go up". For the teen, however, the PFC is undeveloped, and the emotional brain (including the amygdala mentioned above) rules the moment, until the PFC is developed in the mid-twenties. The teen thinks: "This is going to be exciting!"-if he thinks at all."

I can't say there aren't additional underlying issues you have to deal with, but this certainly helps to explain why "reasonableness" truly seems to be thrown out the window during this age until sometime in their early 20's. As I said to my husband when his younger sister was about 11 1/2 and he had his first blow up with her (there's a 20 year difference between them), this happens to all girls and can start as early as 11 and ends as late as 25, and during that time (but not necessarily all of that time) we're just not going to like them all that much. But when it's all done we'll probably (hopefully????) like them again.
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