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She Told Me I Was "weird"


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24 replies to this topic

#1 jasonD2

 
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Posted 05 August 2010 - 05:11 AM

So as some of you might recall I had a date and was concerned about discussing the whole gluten thing. Well we've been dating now a month and last night we went out and she grabbed a late dinner since she had not eaten. We were talking about food and stuff and i casually mentioned that I do not eat dairy and gluten..didnt get into the whole celiac thing and just said i was allergic to wheat and dont eat much dairy and that its just a personal choice. since i was never officially diagnosed as celiac i feel comfortable saying i am just intolerant or allergic even though i live the lifestyle of someone w/ celiac. Anyway, we were having a fun and playful conversation and after I told her she seemed surprised and called me weird...but then again she has called me weird a few times already but again just in a playful fun kinda way. so my fear is that she really doesnt understand the scope of my problem and that i need to be super careful with CC and eating out. as things progress i am worried she will see the true nature of my problem and how it impacts my life on a daily basis & prevents me from doing certain things- i dont know how she will handle this. i mean this girl eats everything. any suggestions would be appreciated

j
  • 0
Endoscopy & blood panel all negative 12/09 after being strict w/ gluten free diet

As of 8/09 - Candida Overgrowth, C.difficile overgrowth, elevated fecal anti-gliadin, elevated putrefactive SCFA's

Developed severe lactose intolerance, IBS and food sensitivities in 02 after contracting Giardia from a river in Oregon

Had negative celiac blood work in 02

Elevated stool anti-gliadin Ab (21 with 10 being cutoff for normal) - 2008

Positive for DQ8- 2008

Tested high positive for egg, dairy, soy, ginger, mustard - 2008

Lactulose/Mannitol (leaky gut) test indicated slight intestinal permeability

Improved with gluten free diet but still have spastic constipation

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#2 dilettantesteph

 
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Posted 05 August 2010 - 05:20 AM

It was hard enough with my spouse. I can't imagine dealing with it in a dating situation. Good luck. If she is worth it, she will understand and respect your needs.
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#3 ravenwoodglass

 
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Posted 05 August 2010 - 06:11 AM

Take it date by date for now. If she really likes you and you really like her it will work out.
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Courage does not always roar, sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying
"I will try again tommorrow" (Mary Anne Radmacher)


celiac 49 years - Misdiagnosed for 45
Blood tested and repeatedly negative
Diagnosed by Allergist with elimination diet and diagnosis confirmed by GI in 2002
Misdiagnoses for 15 years were IBS-D, ataxia, migraines, anxiety, depression, fibromyalgia, parathesias, arthritis, livedo reticularis, hairloss, premature menopause, osteoporosis, kidney damage, diverticulosis, prediabetes and ulcers, dermatitis herpeformis
All bold resoved or went into remission with proper diagnosis of Celiac November 2002
Some residual nerve damage remains as of 2006- this has continued to resolve after eliminating soy in 2007

Mother died of celiac related cancer at 56
Twin brother died as a result of autoimmune liver destruction at age 15

Children 2 with Ulcers, GERD, Depression, , 1 with DH, 1 with severe growth stunting (male adult 5 feet)both finally diagnosed Celiac through blood testing and 1 with endo 6 months after Mom


Positive to Soy and Casien also Aug 2007

Gluten Sensitivity Gene Test Aug 2007
HLA-DQB1 Molecular analysis, Allele 1 0303

HLA-DQB1 Molecular analysis, Allele 2 0303

Serologic equivalent: HLA-DQ 3,3 (Subtype 9,9)

#4 bbuster

 
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Posted 05 August 2010 - 06:17 AM

It was hard enough with my spouse. I can't imagine dealing with it in a dating situation. Good luck. If she is worth it, she will understand and respect your needs.


I agree! This is great advice. (I still have trouble with my spouse's awareness sometimes!)

I was going to answer that my daughter understands and is very aware and attuned to being gluten-free even though her brother has Celiac and no one else in our family does. But she is only 13 so she can not date!!

But seriously, a nice person who truly cares for you will do whatever it takes.
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Bev

Mom of Garrett - Mizzou freshman; diagnosed Jan 2005

#5 March102010

 
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Posted 05 August 2010 - 06:20 AM

I agree with the others. If she likes you, she will learn how to help you. Seriously, everyone has problems that they have to deal with; I'm sure she has some of her own.
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#6 Aphreal

 
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Posted 05 August 2010 - 06:22 AM

I was wondering how this went. Honestly I don't think she gets it. If she did, I don't think she would be calling you (or the allergy and choices you make) weird. The adjective is strange within this context.

But none the less, I too, would take it one date at a time and be sure not to make a big deal about it. If it is brought up again then I would take that and go with it. Explain the severity of your allergy and tell it's not weird, it's everyday life for you.

I am sorry you are fretting over this. My family and I are getting to the point now where it's becoming clear that this IS going to impact everyone. Tension is starting to erupt. I hope it's short lived as we all adjust.

Tiff
  • 0
Started exhibiting symptoms 1979
DXed IBS 1987
Self Dx Gluten sensitive via elimination diet July 2010
Gluten free since July 12 2010
Carb&Sugar light August 2010
experimenting with being Grain light

#7 precious831

 
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Posted 05 August 2010 - 06:35 AM

So as some of you might recall I had a date and was concerned about discussing the whole gluten thing. Well we've been dating now a month and last night we went out and she grabbed a late dinner since she had not eaten. We were talking about food and stuff and i casually mentioned that I do not eat dairy and gluten..didnt get into the whole celiac thing and just said i was allergic to wheat and dont eat much dairy and that its just a personal choice. since i was never officially diagnosed as celiac i feel comfortable saying i am just intolerant or allergic even though i live the lifestyle of someone w/ celiac. Anyway, we were having a fun and playful conversation and after I told her she seemed surprised and called me weird...but then again she has called me weird a few times already but again just in a playful fun kinda way. so my fear is that she really doesnt understand the scope of my problem and that i need to be super careful with CC and eating out. as things progress i am worried she will see the true nature of my problem and how it impacts my life on a daily basis & prevents me from doing certain things- i dont know how she will handle this. i mean this girl eats everything. any suggestions would be appreciated

j

I'm sorry to hear that. It was very hard for my husband to accept it, how much more for just people who are dating. I haven't read all the replies but I think if she's worth it then it might be ok to wait it out and that she will eventually understand. I think most people don't understand and once they are educated, the come around eventually, slowly. So you'll have to work on her on this slowly. And if she likes you and cares for you she'll probably make the effort to understand your condition.

Good luck and I hope everything works out.
  • 0
Grain-free,dairy-free, soy-free (celiac, possible colitis now as well).
Extremely allergic to shellfish, Aspirin & Ibuprofen

#8 jststric

 
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Posted 05 August 2010 - 06:41 AM

I'm sorry to hear that. It was very hard for my husband to accept it, how much more for just people who are dating. I haven't read all the replies but I think if she's worth it then it might be ok to wait it out and that she will eventually understand. I think most people don't understand and once they are educated, the come around eventually, slowly. So you'll have to work on her on this slowly. And if she likes you and cares for you she'll probably make the effort to understand your condition.

Good luck and I hope everything works out.


I suspect she's just never been aware of anyone else with such issues. If she knew the stats of 1:130 it might help make her realize you certainly aren't 1:1,000,000....in a negative way, anyway. And when she realizes that a majority of gluten-challenged people are also other foods-intolerant, it may help. Did she actually say YOU are weird or that "that's" weird? I can't imagine directly telling someone they are weird when they share such information. Maybe she was talking about your intolerance is weird. Then its simply a matter of opening her eyes to the fact that its much more common than she knows....its just not mainstream knowledge yet.
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#9 vbecton

 
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Posted 05 August 2010 - 06:46 AM

Well, if she persists with the "weird" I would make a short funny comeback like, "yeah, I probably am weird for not wanting to be up all night with uncontrollable D...how bizarre." But, then again I'm a major smarta** so you may not want to listen to me!

When my husband suggests I'm making a bigger deal about all this than necessary, I go cuddle with him when I have horrible gas. Just want to make sure he suffers with me if he won't be supportive :lol:
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Diagnosed with Celiac Disease, July 2010, after 20 years of chronic low blood sugar and GI issues. I blame undiagnosed Celiac Disease for not becoming a professional marathon runner and being such a pathetic athlete in college. I was robbed :)

Gluten Free 04/2010
Dairy Free 06/2010
Soy Free 05/2010
Legume Free 05/2010
Caffeine Free 05/2007

#10 glutenfr3309

 
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Posted 05 August 2010 - 07:27 AM

When my husband suggests I'm making a bigger deal about all this than necessary, I go cuddle with him when I have horrible gas. Just want to make sure he suffers with me if he won't be supportive :lol:


lol. maybe i should try that with my bf!


i don't think my bf is 100% supportive of me yet but i think he's slowly coming around. i'm not sure if he ever will. when he is mean about it i just remind him that this is lifelong for me and that i need someone who will be supportive. we don't live together and usually only see each other 3 times a week so he isn't with me all the time. he thinks i need to 'live' and that i make it more difficult for myself. however, i'm really not eating any different than i used to before! now, i just have the alternative go-to foods for pasta, sweets, and breads. so really to me it's not eating that much different!

i think it will come to a point like everyone says- if it's meant to be it will work out. gluten-free is a lifelong thing for you--she may not be.
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#11 cassP

 
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Posted 05 August 2010 - 07:39 AM

Well, if she persists with the "weird" I would make a short funny comeback like, "yeah, I probably am weird for not wanting to be up all night with uncontrollable D...how bizarre."


LOLOL
  • 0
1986- Elevated Speckled ANA/no Lupus.negative Sjorgens
2008- AntiGliadin IGA/IGg~ Negative,TTG IGA/IGg~ Weak Positive, Endomysial Antibody~ Positive, IGA Deficient.
no biopsy (insurance denied)
6/2010- Enterolab Gene Test:
HLA-DQB1 Allele 1 0302
HLA-DQB1 Allele 2 0302
HLADQ 3,3 (subtype 8,8)
7/2010- 100% Gluten Free
8/2010- DH
10/2010-Hypothyroid dx-> 12/2010 Hashimoto's dx + 1/11- Graves dx :(

#12 conniebky

 
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Posted 05 August 2010 - 08:51 AM

you all dont' know each other that well yet and are still in the 'best behavior' and 'polite ' stage.

she sounds like a cool girl, she probably just couldn't think of anything else to say.

Little by little you will feel more comfortable explaining it to her and little by little, she'll understand it.

Don't fret so about it. It's all good. Have FUN!
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Be kind to each person that you meet, for everyone is fighting a great battle

#13 jasonD2

 
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Posted 05 August 2010 - 08:54 AM

nah like i said she was playful about it- didnt seem like it bothered her. i basically told her i just eat a certain way and do what works best for me & left it at that
  • 0
Endoscopy & blood panel all negative 12/09 after being strict w/ gluten free diet

As of 8/09 - Candida Overgrowth, C.difficile overgrowth, elevated fecal anti-gliadin, elevated putrefactive SCFA's

Developed severe lactose intolerance, IBS and food sensitivities in 02 after contracting Giardia from a river in Oregon

Had negative celiac blood work in 02

Elevated stool anti-gliadin Ab (21 with 10 being cutoff for normal) - 2008

Positive for DQ8- 2008

Tested high positive for egg, dairy, soy, ginger, mustard - 2008

Lactulose/Mannitol (leaky gut) test indicated slight intestinal permeability

Improved with gluten free diet but still have spastic constipation

#14 jasonD2

 
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Posted 05 August 2010 - 08:54 AM

ugh!
  • 0
Endoscopy & blood panel all negative 12/09 after being strict w/ gluten free diet

As of 8/09 - Candida Overgrowth, C.difficile overgrowth, elevated fecal anti-gliadin, elevated putrefactive SCFA's

Developed severe lactose intolerance, IBS and food sensitivities in 02 after contracting Giardia from a river in Oregon

Had negative celiac blood work in 02

Elevated stool anti-gliadin Ab (21 with 10 being cutoff for normal) - 2008

Positive for DQ8- 2008

Tested high positive for egg, dairy, soy, ginger, mustard - 2008

Lactulose/Mannitol (leaky gut) test indicated slight intestinal permeability

Improved with gluten free diet but still have spastic constipation

#15 jasonD2

 
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Posted 05 August 2010 - 08:56 AM

well she said she always likes spending time with me and tells me im a lot of fun so cant be all that bad
  • 0
Endoscopy & blood panel all negative 12/09 after being strict w/ gluten free diet

As of 8/09 - Candida Overgrowth, C.difficile overgrowth, elevated fecal anti-gliadin, elevated putrefactive SCFA's

Developed severe lactose intolerance, IBS and food sensitivities in 02 after contracting Giardia from a river in Oregon

Had negative celiac blood work in 02

Elevated stool anti-gliadin Ab (21 with 10 being cutoff for normal) - 2008

Positive for DQ8- 2008

Tested high positive for egg, dairy, soy, ginger, mustard - 2008

Lactulose/Mannitol (leaky gut) test indicated slight intestinal permeability

Improved with gluten free diet but still have spastic constipation




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