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It's Official....i Am Crazy!


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26 replies to this topic

#1 kaki_clam

 
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Posted 05 August 2010 - 03:31 PM

I don't have a thyroid problem...I don't have any other food allergies..I just have Celiac..oh, and insomnia, paranoia, depression, anxiety and mania. I don't know if I am up more or down more...I guess technically I'm "up" all the time since I never sleep. I burst into tears for no reason, I cook and clean til all hours. I worry, I stress, I can't do anything right and I don't think I am doing anything wrong. I've tried prescription meds, I am now trying hollistic alternatives..nothing seems to work only makes me more crazy. My work is trying to fire me and the poke, poke, poke at me until I explode, then they write me up for exploding. I can't live like this anymore and since managed Celiac (well managed by the gluten free diet anyway) isn't deadly...I can't die. I can't keep going on like this....I don't know where to go or how to get there. Everyone wants to help, no one does (not you all, you help, but you can't sit on my couch with me while I cry or fix my problems at work). Speaking of my couch..it's the only place I feel safe, happy and sane. Before my diagnosis, in my gluten eating days, I was angry all the time...but nothing else..anger is easier to deal with...it might be time to give all this up and go back to being angry..Pizza Hut is calling....will I answer the phone?
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#2 GlutenFreeManna

 
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Posted 05 August 2010 - 03:55 PM

NO! Don't answer the phone! I don't think you are crazy at all. Just because a food allergy doesn't show up on a test doesn't mean that a food is not to blame. I don't have an allergy to soy, but if I consume too much of it I get emotional, have achy muscles, migraines and feel run down. What are you eating everyday? What is your diet like? Maybe we can help you pinpoint some sources of gluten that are sneaking in or some other food intolerance that you have. A lot of times people start eating large amounts of something they rarely ate before going gluten free (like rice, tapioca, corn, etc). So perhaps something you eat a lot of now is causing all this emotional turmoil?

There are lots of great gluten free pizza alternatives. Don't give in. Don't hurt yourself anymore.
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A simple meal with love is better than a feast where there is hatred. Proverbs 15:17 (CEV)

#3 Skylark

 
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Posted 05 August 2010 - 04:01 PM

OMG you poor thing. You sound so much like I felt during my manic episodes. I wouldn't wish that feeling on my worst enemy. I remember the restlessnes, insomnia, tears, up one moment and down the next and so irritated I was ready to just about snap.

If you're diagnosed celiac, you have to stay strong and away from gluten. Besides, if you gluten yourself back up again you don't have a hope of healing the mental problems. Your body needs nutrition to make your mind work right.

I take a supplement called EMPowerPlus designed for bipolars and I can take it instead of meds. You can get it from http://www.truehope.com. It's expensive, but for me it was the only thing that really worked and it was a bit of a miracle. Like you, I broke through all the meds and other "remedies" didn't help. I haven't had more than a single night of insomnia in years, and only when I slack off on how much I take. Taper onto it slow if you can, and the women at the call center are great. It's a very, very active supplement and it takes some getting used to. Use lots of protein powder with it at first and order the probiotics as you'll need them.

Also, a really good naturopathic shrink told me to take fish oil for mild mania and it helped. I think maybe he said choline too but I haven't needed any in a while. I also used to take L-tryptophan for bad isomnia. Sadly, I get tolerant to it so it only works for one night, maybe two.

Hope this helps and feel free to PM me if you have questions about the EMPowerPlus. I really think it saved my life.
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#4 gary'sgirl

 
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Posted 05 August 2010 - 04:26 PM

I'm so sorry to hear that you are feeling this way. I have felt very similar, and it is a very discouraging place to be.
Don't give up! You are a very important person and even though you don't feel like it now, you have something to offer to the world that no one else can.

I think that the suggestions so far are good ones and worth trying, but I wanted to add one more thought. I have been sleep deprived for years and before we found out that I had Celiac and all the docs just said nothing was wrong with me my husband would tell me that being sleep deprived can cause many problems in and of it's self. It can cause health problems and (just to show the seriousness of it) sleep deprivation is a tactic that is used when people are tortured and trying to be broken down. I guess I just share that - not to freak you out - but to tell you that all that is happening to you emotionally has nothing to do with the person you are, but something that is happening to you is causing your mind and emotions to be something that they wouldn't normally be. I wonder if you could also focus on trying to do something that will help you get regular sleep. I know that it would help at least to take the edge off of things.

I really hope you start doing better soon! Keep pursuing your health.
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#5 kaki_clam

 
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Posted 05 August 2010 - 05:00 PM

I consider myself to be quite the foodie! I have been allergic to shellfish for most my life, so I steer clear of seafood and shellfish, other wise, I will eat most anything except beets. I pride myself on being able to recreate some of my favorite gluten filled dishes with a gluten free alternative..so here is a sample list of what I dine on...

tonight I am having pot stickers: cheebe bread mix filled with ground chicken, garlic, carrot, watercrest, scallion, fried in sesame oil and steamed in gluten free chicken broth. All dipped in a sauce of gluten-free soy sauce, chili garlic and sesame oil.

I made Chimichurri (pureed parsley, orgeano, cilantro, garlic, rice wine vinegar, olive oil and cumin. This will be eaten over flank steak, marinaded in olive oil, garlic and salt.

i eat mini burgers using slices of fried polenta as buns, and top these with mayo, bbq sauce, pickles and onions.

I make a lot of chinese food like orange beef, orange chicken, general tsos, fried rice and spring rolls

Nachos, tacos and empanada's made with cheebe's bread mix

for lunches I eat left overs, or salad ( I eat a lot of salad as I CRAVE fresh veggies) with either hidden valley ranch dressing or italian dressing or my own homemade russian dressing.

Oredia French Fries (they say gluten free on the bag), amy's gluten free frozen dinners and some gluten free chicken nuggets are about all i eat for processed foods.

I live alone and my entire house is completely gluten free to my knowledge. I check all my soaps and shampoos and I don't wear makeup. All my lotions, etc..all gluten-free.

Any ideas where I might be going wrong?
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#6 GlutenFreeManna

 
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Posted 05 August 2010 - 05:37 PM

I'm coming to your house for dinner! Everything sounds yummy! Except I can't have anything with soy. One thing that stands out in looking at what you eat is a lot of is soy. I don't know if that could be causing your problems, but I know I have read about soy messing with thyroid function. It may not mess it up enough to show up on a test as hypothyroidism, but it may still affect it. Thyroid disease runs in my family and thats one of the reasons I tried cutting it out. And for your processed food choices, I know Ore Ida fries are made with soybean oil. I have checked them recently. Also I have read that some people react to Amy's meals. Chebe bread is made with tapioca isn't it? Perhaps tapioca does not agree with you. I don't know what effects tapioca has on people with an intolerance to it.

To be honest, after reading the comment above about sleep deprivation I have to agree with that idea as well. I took a whole class on sleep in college. Going without restful sleep for a long time can have very bad effects on the brain and mind. I know you said you tried all kinds of drugs, but I think perhaps you should ask your doctor about getting some serious sleep aides. As I say this, know that I am not in favor of drugs in general unless they are a last resort. But if you are not sleeping at all, you're in serious danger of developing some sort of psychosis. Take some time off work if you can and get some good nights of sleep. Then see how you feel. Is there anyone that can check in on you or anyone you can stay with for a few days? Since you live alone you may not want to just take a strong sleeping pill and try to go to sleep. You should have someone there in case you have bad side-effects or something.
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A simple meal with love is better than a feast where there is hatred. Proverbs 15:17 (CEV)

#7 Wenmin

 
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Posted 05 August 2010 - 05:45 PM

Hidden Valley Ranch has gluten in it. I don't remember where I read it, but in a cookbook that gives you recipes to recreate recipes from many different restaurants and well known products, I read that you have to crush saltine crackers to recreate Hidden Valley Ranch Dressing.
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#8 lucia

 
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Posted 05 August 2010 - 05:55 PM

I noticed on your list of foods you mention Amy's meals. A lot of people react to those, even though they say "gluten-free". Apparently, they have a low enough gluten content to meet the dietary standards for gluten-free so they can label their foods that way, but they actually do have some gluten. I know you already know this, but it's better to eat unprocessed foods in the beginning of your recovery. That way you avoid hidden sources of gluten and all kinds of other crap (MSG, HFCS, crazy preservatives, etc.).

Also, I discovered at some point in this process that I'm extremely reactive to corn and also to soy. My reaction to corn is as bad as my reaction to gluten, but with different symptoms. My neurological symptoms seem to come from corn, not gluten. You may want to try cutting corn and/or soy to see if you're reacting to them. A lot of us on the board do.

If you still find you're anxious and depressed after working on your diet, I second Skylark's suggestion about fish oil. I have a friend who is diagnosed bipolar, along with several ambiguous autoimmune diagnoses, and the only time she's had relief has been from fish oil. I'd think about looking into Skylark's second suggestion as well. When I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia years ago before it was really considered a "real" condition, I turned to holistic solutions and recovered without the intervention of Western medicine. Nowadays, the strategies I used (exercise, yoga, whole foods, a restrictive diet) are suggested by Western doctors to fibromyalgia patients.

In that vein, I'd also suggest acupuncture, if it's available where you live. Some people respond to acupuncture really fast, and it could give you some relief right away. Chinese medicine is really good at targeting multi-factoral conditions that Western medicine can't adequately handle.

Finally, try to be patient. You haven't been off gluten for that long. Full recovery can take up to 2 years. And know that you're not alone. Most of my nights are sleepless (after 4 months). Sometimes in the deep of night, my apartment feels like some celiac version of hell. I have to remind myself that I'm getting better, but it's week by week rather than day by day, and progress hasn't always been steady. Believe me, when I say "be patient," I'm talking to myself too.
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#9 kaki_clam

 
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Posted 05 August 2010 - 05:57 PM

Actually, my doctor talked to me about taking something stronger for a sleep aid...I told him to get out of his office. I am terrified to take something as it did not work for me and drove me almost straight into madness. My mom sides with Doc and also thinks I should let him prescribe me something. Doc said that I wouldn't have to take it every night just when it got past 4 days or like every Friday or something. My mom is willing to come stay with me on the weekends in case anything goes wrong and I still won't do it! Mom and I are going on a cruise at the end of September so I am going to keep on keeping on for the next two months. When we get back, I will reassess and consider the drugs.

I do eat a lot of soy, but I have my whole life and never had any problems. My doc thinks all my problems are stress related as they are really raking me over the coals at work..for example, today I got a WRITTEN warning for "appearing to not be paying attention during a training session" really???? there was no test! I had been out sick for 4 days and it was my first day back. I was still sick but felt well enough to go to work. Oh and for what it's worth...I PAID ATTENTION!!! Good thing for the union, they will take care of this for me as this is borderline harassment.

I forgot to mention that I eat this AWESOME snack mix that I make with cashews, almonds, and pumpkin seeds. It has a sweet and spicy chipolte pepper seasoning on it (that i make myself) I am eating it right now :)

and you all can come to dinner anytime! I love to cook and I love when people tell me what a good cook I am. Not to toot my own horn or anything, but I really am a good cook.
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#10 kaki_clam

 
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Posted 05 August 2010 - 06:01 PM

I second Skylark's suggestion about fish oil. I have a friend who is diagnosed bipolar, along with several ambiguous autoimmune diagnoses, and the only time she's had relief has been from fish oil. I'd think about looking into Skylark's second suggestion as well. When I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia years ago before it was really considered a "real" condition, I turned to holistic solutions and recovered without the intervention of Western medicine. Nowadays, the strategies I used (exercise, yoga, whole foods, a restrictive diet) are suggested by Western doctors to fibromyalgia patients.

In that vein, I'd also suggest acupuncture, if it's available where you live. Some people respond to acupuncture really fast, and it could give you some relief right away. Chinese medicine is really good at targeting multi-factoral conditions that Western medicine can't adequately handle.

Finally, try to be patient. You haven't been off gluten for that long. Full recovery can take up to 2 years. And know that you're not alone. Most of my nights are sleepless (after 4 months). Sometimes in the deep of night, my apartment feels like some celiac version of hell. I have to remind myself that I'm getting better, but it's week by week rather than day by day, and progress hasn't always been steady.


I do take fish oil, Vitamin D, a B complex vitamin, Kava Kava and 5-HTP
My doc's office does offer acupuncture, but I am DEATHLY afraid of needles, so um...no :)
I am so grateful for this forum. My mom is awesome to talk to but she doesn't live this life and you all do. You all are the knot at the end of my rope.
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#11 kaki_clam

 
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Posted 05 August 2010 - 06:06 PM

Hidden Valley Ranch has gluten in it. I don't remember where I read it, but in a cookbook that gives you recipes to recreate recipes from many different restaurants and well known products, I read that you have to crush saltine crackers to recreate Hidden Valley Ranch Dressing.


Hidden Valley states that they will clearly label their products and that their original ranch dressing is gluten free.
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#12 Jestgar

 
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Posted 05 August 2010 - 06:11 PM

today I got a WRITTEN warning for "appearing to not be paying attention during a training session" really????

Pardon me??

Honey you need to march back to that doctor's office, pick up a three month supply of those pills, and start slipping them into everyone's coffee at work.
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#13 ravenwoodglass

 
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Posted 05 August 2010 - 06:21 PM

I also think you should drop the soy, just because you have been eating it your whole life doesn't mean it may not be affecting you. After all until you were diagnosed you ate wheat your whole life right? I would also drop the Amy's foods. They are hit and miss as far as CC goes.
I know you are reluctant to go with drugs, I was too. I fought for years not to take them. It seemed everything they gave me just made me worse. My anxiety was horrible and crippling. Doctors kept giving me stuff that had antidepressants mixed with antianxiety meds because they were convinced I was depressed. I am not unless glutened. One doctor finally listened and now I take a med that is strictly an antianxiety med and now I can sleep and function normally. Sometimes we have to try a few things before we find something that works.
The acupuncture is a good idea. I don't like needles either but the needles are very fine and it really doesn't hurt. You should consider trying it once, keep your eyes closed while they are doing the treatment and just listen to the music that is playing. It is amazing how helpful it can be.
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Courage does not always roar, sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying
"I will try again tommorrow" (Mary Anne Radmacher)


celiac 49 years - Misdiagnosed for 45
Blood tested and repeatedly negative
Diagnosed by Allergist with elimination diet and diagnosis confirmed by GI in 2002
Misdiagnoses for 15 years were IBS-D, ataxia, migraines, anxiety, depression, fibromyalgia, parathesias, arthritis, livedo reticularis, hairloss, premature menopause, osteoporosis, kidney damage, diverticulosis, prediabetes and ulcers, dermatitis herpeformis
All bold resoved or went into remission with proper diagnosis of Celiac November 2002
Some residual nerve damage remains as of 2006- this has continued to resolve after eliminating soy in 2007

Mother died of celiac related cancer at 56
Twin brother died as a result of autoimmune liver destruction at age 15

Children 2 with Ulcers, GERD, Depression, , 1 with DH, 1 with severe growth stunting (male adult 5 feet)both finally diagnosed Celiac through blood testing and 1 with endo 6 months after Mom


Positive to Soy and Casien also Aug 2007

Gluten Sensitivity Gene Test Aug 2007
HLA-DQB1 Molecular analysis, Allele 1 0303

HLA-DQB1 Molecular analysis, Allele 2 0303

Serologic equivalent: HLA-DQ 3,3 (Subtype 9,9)

#14 ravenwoodglass

 
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Posted 05 August 2010 - 06:24 PM

Hidden Valley states that they will clearly label their products and that their original ranch dressing is gluten free.


It does contain soy though. As I said in my other post I think you should try to go without soy for a bit and see if it helps.
  • 1
Courage does not always roar, sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying
"I will try again tommorrow" (Mary Anne Radmacher)


celiac 49 years - Misdiagnosed for 45
Blood tested and repeatedly negative
Diagnosed by Allergist with elimination diet and diagnosis confirmed by GI in 2002
Misdiagnoses for 15 years were IBS-D, ataxia, migraines, anxiety, depression, fibromyalgia, parathesias, arthritis, livedo reticularis, hairloss, premature menopause, osteoporosis, kidney damage, diverticulosis, prediabetes and ulcers, dermatitis herpeformis
All bold resoved or went into remission with proper diagnosis of Celiac November 2002
Some residual nerve damage remains as of 2006- this has continued to resolve after eliminating soy in 2007

Mother died of celiac related cancer at 56
Twin brother died as a result of autoimmune liver destruction at age 15

Children 2 with Ulcers, GERD, Depression, , 1 with DH, 1 with severe growth stunting (male adult 5 feet)both finally diagnosed Celiac through blood testing and 1 with endo 6 months after Mom


Positive to Soy and Casien also Aug 2007

Gluten Sensitivity Gene Test Aug 2007
HLA-DQB1 Molecular analysis, Allele 1 0303

HLA-DQB1 Molecular analysis, Allele 2 0303

Serologic equivalent: HLA-DQ 3,3 (Subtype 9,9)

#15 Jestgar

 
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Posted 05 August 2010 - 06:30 PM

I also think you should drop the soy, just because you have been eating it your whole life doesn't mean it may not be affecting you.

I agree with this. When I stopped eating soy, I stopped waking up at 1:30 in the morning. I still have periods wherein I wake up way too early, but now they are only a few days, not weeks.
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"But then, in all honesty, if scientists don't play god, who will?"
- James Watson

My sources are unreliable, but their information is fascinating.
- Ashleigh Brilliant

Leap, and the net will appear.




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