It's Official....i Am Crazy!

[kaki-clam]

I don't have a thyroid problem...I don't have any other food allergies..I just have Celiac..oh, and insomnia, paranoia, depression, anxiety and mania. I don't know if I am up more or down more...I guess technically I'm "up" all the time since I never sleep. I burst into tears for no reason, I cook and clean til all hours. I worry, I stress, I can't do anything right and I don't think I am doing anything wrong. I've tried prescription meds, I am now trying hollistic alternatives..nothing seems to work only makes me more crazy. My work is trying to fire me and the poke, poke, poke at me until I explode, then they write me up for exploding. I can't live like this anymore and since managed Celiac (well managed by the gluten free diet anyway) isn't deadly...I can't die. I can't keep going on like this....I don't know where to go or how to get there. Everyone wants to help, no one does (not you all, you help, but you can't sit on my couch with me while I cry or fix my problems at work). Speaking of my couch..it's the only place I feel safe, happy and sane. Before my diagnosis, in my gluten eating days, I was angry all the time...but nothing else..anger is easier to deal with...it might be time to give all this up and go back to being angry..Pizza Hut is calling....will I answer the phone?

[GlutenFreeManna]

NO! Don't answer the phone! I don't think you are crazy at all. Just because a food allergy doesn't show up on a test doesn't mean that a food is not to blame. I don't have an allergy to soy, but if I consume too much of it I get emotional, have achy muscles, migraines and feel run down. What are you eating everyday? What is your diet like? Maybe we can help you pinpoint some sources of gluten that are sneaking in or some other food intolerance that you have. A lot of times people start eating large amounts of something they rarely ate before going gluten free (like rice, tapioca, corn, etc). So perhaps something you eat a lot of now is causing all this emotional turmoil?

There are lots of great gluten free pizza alternatives. Don't give in. Don't hurt yourself anymore.

[Skylark]

OMG you poor thing. You sound so much like I felt during my manic episodes. I wouldn't wish that feeling on my worst enemy. I remember the restlessnes, insomnia, tears, up one moment and down the next and so irritated I was ready to just about snap.

If you're diagnosed celiac, you have to stay strong and away from gluten. Besides, if you gluten yourself back up again you don't have a hope of healing the mental problems. Your body needs nutrition to make your mind work right.

I take a supplement called EMPowerPlus designed for bipolars and I can take it instead of meds. You can get it from Open Original Shared Link It's expensive, but for me it was the only thing that really worked and it was a bit of a miracle. Like you, I broke through all the meds and other "remedies" didn't help. I haven't had more than a single night of insomnia in years, and only when I slack off on how much I take. Taper onto it slow if you can, and the women at the call center are great. It's a very, very active supplement and it takes some getting used to. Use lots of protein powder with it at first and order the probiotics as you'll need them.

Also, a really good naturopathic shrink told me to take fish oil for mild mania and it helped. I think maybe he said choline too but I haven't needed any in a while. I also used to take L-tryptophan for bad isomnia. Sadly, I get tolerant to it so it only works for one night, maybe two.

Hope this helps and feel free to PM me if you have questions about the EMPowerPlus. I really think it saved my life.

[gary'sgirl]

I'm so sorry to hear that you are feeling this way. I have felt very similar, and it is a very discouraging place to be.

Don't give up! You are a very important person and even though you don't feel like it now, you have something to offer to the world that no one else can.

I think that the suggestions so far are good ones and worth trying, but I wanted to add one more thought. I have been sleep deprived for years and before we found out that I had Celiac and all the docs just said nothing was wrong with me my husband would tell me that being sleep deprived can cause many problems in and of it's self. It can cause health problems and (just to show the seriousness of it) sleep deprivation is a tactic that is used when people are tortured and trying to be broken down. I guess I just share that - not to freak you out - but to tell you that all that is happening to you emotionally has nothing to do with the person you are, but something that is happening to you is causing your mind and emotions to be something that they wouldn't normally be. I wonder if you could also focus on trying to do something that will help you get regular sleep. I know that it would help at least to take the edge off of things.

I really hope you start doing better soon! Keep pursuing your health.

[kaki-clam]

I consider myself to be quite the foodie! I have been allergic to shellfish for most my life, so I steer clear of seafood and shellfish, other wise, I will eat most anything except beets. I pride myself on being able to recreate some of my favorite gluten filled dishes with a gluten free alternative..so here is a sample list of what I dine on...

tonight I am having pot stickers: cheebe bread mix filled with ground chicken, garlic, carrot, watercrest, scallion, fried in sesame oil and steamed in gluten free chicken broth. All dipped in a sauce of gluten-free soy sauce, chili garlic and sesame oil.

I made Chimichurri (pureed parsley, orgeano, cilantro, garlic, rice wine vinegar, olive oil and cumin. This will be eaten over flank steak, marinaded in olive oil, garlic and salt.

i eat mini burgers using slices of fried polenta as buns, and top these with mayo, bbq sauce, pickles and onions.

I make a lot of chinese food like orange beef, orange chicken, general tsos, fried rice and spring rolls

Nachos, tacos and empanada's made with cheebe's bread mix

for lunches I eat left overs, or salad ( I eat a lot of salad as I CRAVE fresh veggies) with either hidden valley ranch dressing or italian dressing or my own homemade russian dressing.

Oredia French Fries (they say gluten free on the bag), amy's gluten free frozen dinners and some gluten free chicken nuggets are about all i eat for processed foods.

I live alone and my entire house is completely gluten free to my knowledge. I check all my soaps and shampoos and I don't wear makeup. All my lotions, etc..all gluten-free.

Any ideas where I might be going wrong?

[GlutenFreeManna]

I'm coming to your house for dinner! Everything sounds yummy! Except I can't have anything with soy. One thing that stands out in looking at what you eat is a lot of is soy. I don't know if that could be causing your problems, but I know I have read about soy messing with thyroid function. It may not mess it up enough to show up on a test as hypothyroidism, but it may still affect it. Thyroid disease runs in my family and thats one of the reasons I tried cutting it out. And for your processed food choices, I know Ore Ida fries are made with soybean oil. I have checked them recently. Also I have read that some people react to Amy's meals. Chebe bread is made with tapioca isn't it? Perhaps tapioca does not agree with you. I don't know what effects tapioca has on people with an intolerance to it.

To be honest, after reading the comment above about sleep deprivation I have to agree with that idea as well. I took a whole class on sleep in college. Going without restful sleep for a long time can have very bad effects on the brain and mind. I know you said you tried all kinds of drugs, but I think perhaps you should ask your doctor about getting some serious sleep aides. As I say this, know that I am not in favor of drugs in general unless they are a last resort. But if you are not sleeping at all, you're in serious danger of developing some sort of psychosis. Take some time off work if you can and get some good nights of sleep. Then see how you feel. Is there anyone that can check in on you or anyone you can stay with for a few days? Since you live alone you may not want to just take a strong sleeping pill and try to go to sleep. You should have someone there in case you have bad side-effects or something.

[Wenmin]

Hidden Valley Ranch has gluten in it. I don't remember where I read it, but in a cookbook that gives you recipes to recreate recipes from many different restaurants and well known products, I read that you have to crush saltine crackers to recreate Hidden Valley Ranch Dressing.

[lucia]

I noticed on your list of foods you mention Amy's meals. A lot of people react to those, even though they say "gluten-free". Apparently, they have a low enough gluten content to meet the dietary standards for gluten-free so they can label their foods that way, but they actually do have some gluten. I know you already know this, but it's better to eat unprocessed foods in the beginning of your recovery. That way you avoid hidden sources of gluten and all kinds of other crap (MSG, HFCS, crazy preservatives, etc.).

Also, I discovered at some point in this process that I'm extremely reactive to corn and also to soy. My reaction to corn is as bad as my reaction to gluten, but with different symptoms. My neurological symptoms seem to come from corn, not gluten. You may want to try cutting corn and/or soy to see if you're reacting to them. A lot of us on the board do.

If you still find you're anxious and depressed after working on your diet, I second Skylark's suggestion about fish oil. I have a friend who is diagnosed bipolar, along with several ambiguous autoimmune diagnoses, and the only time she's had relief has been from fish oil. I'd think about looking into Skylark's second suggestion as well. When I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia years ago before it was really considered a "real" condition, I turned to holistic solutions and recovered without the intervention of Western medicine. Nowadays, the strategies I used (exercise, yoga, whole foods, a restrictive diet) are suggested by Western doctors to fibromyalgia patients.

In that vein, I'd also suggest acupuncture, if it's available where you live. Some people respond to acupuncture really fast, and it could give you some relief right away. Chinese medicine is really good at targeting multi-factoral conditions that Western medicine can't adequately handle.

Finally, try to be patient. You haven't been off gluten for that long. Full recovery can take up to 2 years. And know that you're not alone. Most of my nights are sleepless (after 4 months). Sometimes in the deep of night, my apartment feels like some celiac version of hell. I have to remind myself that I'm getting better, but it's week by week rather than day by day, and progress hasn't always been steady. Believe me, when I say "be patient," I'm talking to myself too.

[kaki-clam]

Actually, my doctor talked to me about taking something stronger for a sleep aid...I told him to get out of his office. I am terrified to take something as it did not work for me and drove me almost straight into madness. My mom sides with Doc and also thinks I should let him prescribe me something. Doc said that I wouldn't have to take it every night just when it got past 4 days or like every Friday or something. My mom is willing to come stay with me on the weekends in case anything goes wrong and I still won't do it! Mom and I are going on a cruise at the end of September so I am going to keep on keeping on for the next two months. When we get back, I will reassess and consider the drugs.

I do eat a lot of soy, but I have my whole life and never had any problems. My doc thinks all my problems are stress related as they are really raking me over the coals at work..for example, today I got a WRITTEN warning for "appearing to not be paying attention during a training session" really???? there was no test! I had been out sick for 4 days and it was my first day back. I was still sick but felt well enough to go to work. Oh and for what it's worth...I PAID ATTENTION!!! Good thing for the union, they will take care of this for me as this is borderline harassment.

I forgot to mention that I eat this AWESOME snack mix that I make with cashews, almonds, and pumpkin seeds. It has a sweet and spicy chipolte pepper seasoning on it (that i make myself) I am eating it right now

and you all can come to dinner anytime! I love to cook and I love when people tell me what a good cook I am. Not to toot my own horn or anything, but I really am a good cook.

[kaki-clam]

I second Skylark's suggestion about fish oil. I have a friend who is diagnosed bipolar, along with several ambiguous autoimmune diagnoses, and the only time she's had relief has been from fish oil. I'd think about looking into Skylark's second suggestion as well. When I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia years ago before it was really considered a "real" condition, I turned to holistic solutions and recovered without the intervention of Western medicine. Nowadays, the strategies I used (exercise, yoga, whole foods, a restrictive diet) are suggested by Western doctors to fibromyalgia patients.

In that vein, I'd also suggest acupuncture, if it's available where you live. Some people respond to acupuncture really fast, and it could give you some relief right away. Chinese medicine is really good at targeting multi-factoral conditions that Western medicine can't adequately handle.

Finally, try to be patient. You haven't been off gluten for that long. Full recovery can take up to 2 years. And know that you're not alone. Most of my nights are sleepless (after 4 months). Sometimes in the deep of night, my apartment feels like some celiac version of hell. I have to remind myself that I'm getting better, but it's week by week rather than day by day, and progress hasn't always been steady.

I do take fish oil, Vitamin D, a B complex vitamin, Kava Kava and 5-HTP

My doc's office does offer acupuncture, but I am DEATHLY afraid of needles, so um...no

I am so grateful for this forum. My mom is awesome to talk to but she doesn't live this life and you all do. You all are the knot at the end of my rope.

[kaki-clam]

Hidden Valley Ranch has gluten in it. I don't remember where I read it, but in a cookbook that gives you recipes to recreate recipes from many different restaurants and well known products, I read that you have to crush saltine crackers to recreate Hidden Valley Ranch Dressing.

Hidden Valley states that they will clearly label their products and that their original ranch dressing is gluten free.

[Jestgar]

today I got a WRITTEN warning for "appearing to not be paying attention during a training session" really????

Pardon me??

Honey you need to march back to that doctor's office, pick up a three month supply of those pills, and start slipping them into everyone's coffee at work.

[ravenwoodglass]

I also think you should drop the soy, just because you have been eating it your whole life doesn't mean it may not be affecting you. After all until you were diagnosed you ate wheat your whole life right? I would also drop the Amy's foods. They are hit and miss as far as CC goes.

I know you are reluctant to go with drugs, I was too. I fought for years not to take them. It seemed everything they gave me just made me worse. My anxiety was horrible and crippling. Doctors kept giving me stuff that had antidepressants mixed with antianxiety meds because they were convinced I was depressed. I am not unless glutened. One doctor finally listened and now I take a med that is strictly an antianxiety med and now I can sleep and function normally. Sometimes we have to try a few things before we find something that works.

The acupuncture is a good idea. I don't like needles either but the needles are very fine and it really doesn't hurt. You should consider trying it once, keep your eyes closed while they are doing the treatment and just listen to the music that is playing. It is amazing how helpful it can be.

[ravenwoodglass]

Hidden Valley states that they will clearly label their products and that their original ranch dressing is gluten free.

It does contain soy though. As I said in my other post I think you should try to go without soy for a bit and see if it helps.

[Jestgar]

I also think you should drop the soy, just because you have been eating it your whole life doesn't mean it may not be affecting you.

I agree with this. When I stopped eating soy, I stopped waking up at 1:30 in the morning. I still have periods wherein I wake up way too early, but now they are only a few days, not weeks.

[Ahorsesoul]

Oredia French Fries (they say gluten free on the bag), Amy's gluten free frozen dinners and some gluten free chicken nuggets are about all i eat for processed foods.

I am also inviting myself to dinner at your house! If I was you I would drop these three items for the next two weeks just to see if it helped. I find I can not eat Amy's Gluten free items. I do not eat Oredia's at all. Now I can't tell you exactly why but I'm sure I probably had a problem with them at one time. I just do not eat chicken nuggets. I make chicken schnitzel so I turn up my nose at nuggets.

Have you ever dropped dairy for a few weeks? Might be worth a try at some point. Just go slow about adding items back if you improve.

Another thing to consider. Depending on how much 5-HTP you are taking. It was making me jittery when I was taking 300mg. I was ok-ed to go up further by my doctor if needed. I was at a loss as to why I felt the way I did but then Dr. House cured me. They had a show on about a boy who was getting too much serotonin and his symptoms almost matched mine. I lowered my dose and felt better. I do love my 5-HTP.

You can find the cause and get better.

[torimuse]

I'm another person to suggest going on a stricter diet for a bit and see if that helps. 2 weeks after going gluten free, I discovered myself reacting still, and so I (very extremistly) cut out ANYTHING that might possibly be giving me a reaction. 2 weeks into the re-introduction period, and I'm SO glad I did. I found a hidden shellfish allergy that I hadn't noticed before. I've been eating shellfish without a problem for most of my life, but it was such a small reaction that I didn't notice it until all of my gluten symptoms were gone, too. It was hiding.

I haven't tried soy or dairy yet, but those are the two major intolerances besides gluten that I see on here, so I'd try cutting them out. Stick to whole foods, ones that you absolutely know what they are, so that you can monitor just exactly what it is that's going into your mouth.

Good luck. We're all rooting for you!

[kareng]

Hidden Valley Ranch has gluten in it. I don't remember where I read it, but in a cookbook that gives you recipes to recreate recipes from many different restaurants and well known products, I read that you have to crush saltine crackers to recreate Hidden Valley Ranch Dressing.

No it doesn't. Why do you say that? The Celiac Center at the u of Chicago sent me some in a basket of gluten-free stuff.

[Looking for answers]

Please take the advise and try going soy free for a while. I'm usually cool as a cucumber, but just this week, I let a little soy in my diet and I got really depressed and spent 10 minutes trying to convince my husband he was being mean to me. This was certaintly not the case, but something about Soy makes me anxious, blue and act like a child. Thank god I have an amazing husband who understand my food issues and mood swings

[gary'sgirl]

Actually, my doctor talked to me about taking something stronger for a sleep aid...I told him to get out of his office. I am terrified to take something as it did not work for me and drove me almost straight into madness. My mom sides with Doc and also thinks I should let him prescribe me something. Doc said that I wouldn't have to take it every night just when it got past 4 days or like every Friday or something. My mom is willing to come stay with me on the weekends in case anything goes wrong and I still won't do it! Mom and I are going on a cruise at the end of September so I am going to keep on keeping on for the next two months. When we get back, I will reassess and consider the drugs.

I just wanted to add that there are a lot of natural things you can do if you don't want to try meds. I think that in general medication should be used as a last resort - there is a place for it, but it is much better to try natural things first if you are not in a crisis situation (usually going the natural route take more time).

Anyway, you can do a search for natural sleep remedies and bring what you find to your doctor or of course you can look into going to a natural doctor who would already know many different things you can do. There's also things like lifestyle changes such as doing relaxing things a couple of hours before bed, taking an epsom salt bath with lavender essential oil and drinking a cup of calming tea (there are several that help with relaxing) going for a jog at a strategic time of day to help your body to relax at bed time etc...

Well, I just thought that I would throw some suggestions that didn't involve needles and meds out there. I hope one way or another you figure out something to help soon.

EDIT:

I was referring to the sleeping problem, but I don't think I made it clear at the beginning of my post. I don't really know enough to give advice about bipolar or mania at this point.

-Sorry if I left anyone confused about what I was referring to.

[Skylark]

I do take fish oil, Vitamin D, a B complex vitamin, Kava Kava and 5-HTP

My doc's office does offer acupuncture, but I am DEATHLY afraid of needles, so um...no

I am so grateful for this forum. My mom is awesome to talk to but she doesn't live this life and you all do. You all are the knot at the end of my rope.

The 5-HTP may be the source of some of your problems. It's not a bad as SSRIs, but it can push some bipolars into mania. St. John's Wort is another one that manics can't take.

I didn't ever find diet to be particularly helpful for mania. Everyone here is piling on asking about hidden gluten but I would be surprised if that's what's going on. Not everything on this board is related to gluten. I've seen my naturopathic shrink friend work with a lot of bipolars and were are missing nutrients, celiac or not. You do have to be gluten-free to absorb nutrition, but that doesn't seem to be the whole story. She puts all her bipolars on probiotics, fish oil, and high dose supplements (either Metagenics or EMPowerPlus), and makes sure they're eating enough omega-3 and choline (eggs or lecithin are a source) and they get better. It worked for me.

[kayo]

I agree with the others about soy. I would have said the same thing, that it caused me no issues but lo and behold test results show I'm intolerant. Now when I do have some I break out into hives, my Sjogren's acts up and I feel really crappy.

There are some Amy's meals that make me absolutely queasy.

For sleeping I take 5mg of melatonin every night. Works like a charm.

[lucia]

She puts all her bipolars on probiotics, fish oil, and high dose supplements (either Metagenics or EMPowerPlus), and makes sure they're eating enough omega-3 and choline (eggs or lecithin are a source) and they get better. It worked for me.

Just wanted to add that my friend who has found relief from fish oil has to take way above the recommended dosage for the effect.

I think it's amazing that supplements can effect bipolar symptoms. That makes me wonder about our modern diet, frankly.

[cap6]

I can add nothing to what has already been said as I am a total newbie but want to tell you that I feel your pain, anger and frustration. I was diagnosed manic depressive years ago & have been on meds which i hate only because I don't like taking so much stuff. Don't give up. Let your mom help is she can. This site seems to be a wonderful place to go for support.

[T.H.]

Just re: the gluten free aspect of the foods (and so sorry if this was said before - I read most responses, but not all, so I might have missed it!).

If any food says gluten free, that doesn't mean it's gluten free enough for you, personally. It means that it has met the legal limit that it needs to be below in order to call itself gluten free. The legal limit isn't zero, however. Most Celiacs don't react to less than the legal amount, but some most definitely do.

Also, currently, by US law anyway, 'naturally gluten free' grains, buckwheat or sorghum for example, get to call themselves gluten free automatically, without necessarily having to be tested. A dietician's association was testing some of these whole grains and flours and found a lot of them were contaminated with much higher gluten levels than the legal gluten-free limit. Soy flour, buckwheat, sorghum, and white rice flour were some of the worst offenders.

So if you are eating anything that is pre-made - like the salad dressings, sauces, oreida products and so on - you could be getting gluten enough to make you sick, even if it wouldn't do diddly to most celiacs. Or if you are making a lot of your own stuff from gluten free flours and whole grains, you might be getting glutened accidentally that way, too. Might be worth while googling 'home gluten test' and getting a few of those - you can check your foods for gluten levels. They are expensive, so it would likely be best for flours or something you eat a lot of, but it might help.

Or...is there any construction or art supplies in your house? Many of these contain gluten that could be in the air and getting to you.

Or...do you get much in the way of dyes? Celiacs sometimes have more trouble with dyes, preservatives, etc...

Or...do you eat organic? I've been reading reports of kids having problems with pesticides, where many of them who had symptoms of ADD or ADHD completely 'recovered' after they went organic and their pesticide concentrations dropped. Perhaps that might manifest differently in adults, but still be an issue? Don't know, but it might be worth a shot shifting to organic for a couple weeks.

Wish I had more, but that's all that pops to mind. So sorry it is so very debilitating right now!