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People Not Taking You Seriously


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#31 ruubato skies

 
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Posted 26 April 2011 - 02:33 PM

I think a percentage of the general public has no clue where their food comes from. For example, a waitress in a restaurant when told my husband cannot have wheat asked if he wanted regular white bread with dinner. I think explained that bread (like Wonder or Arnold) has wheat in it. She seemed surprised to hear this info. Perhaps basic "foods" education in school is needed - learn about all grains, meats, fish, vegetables, etc.
I think perhaps food servers and kitchen prep people should have to take a 1 day course at the local town/county/state Board of Health to learn about foods and allergens including types of diets: low fat, celiac, diabetic, vegan, etc. Think about it: the person who does your hair at a salon has to be licensed, why doesn't the person who cooks/serves/prepares your food get at least a 1-day seminar with Certificate of Learning?

I am a server at a local steakhouse and we have a relatively clean kitchen considering most of what we do is meat and veggies. However, there are breads, pastas, and other such no-no's around. Even after having several severe DH reactions, our head cooks would not believe me that my gluten intolerance was a real thing. We live in a pretty health-conscious community, however, and as more and more people came in asking which of our dishes might have gluten, they have slowly changed their minds. The customer is always right :) and in a lot of cases, willing to pay good money for safe options.
Things are slowly changing, and there is even notice on the kitchen wall for the other servers to help their customers who have questions. (Although they're far more likely to run to me and make me do it if I'm there.) Please don't take offense if your server accidentally asks you your bread choice, or some other thing that is immediately ovious to you. Some of these things are merely automatic-responses, and any competent server will accomidate you if you help remind them (nicely! Please!) what you need to stay clear of. They would certainly do this for someone with say, a nut allergy, and most are even used to vegetarians. It's just another way of thinking about what you need to exclude, and as we all know, it is not easy to get used too. There are lots of things out there (like soaps, or malt, or flavorings) that don't even occur to people who haven't been dilligently looking for it every day. So just ask! (And be nice! "Don't **** with people who handle your food," us celiacs even more so.)
It is difficult to eat out as a celiac, and I am lucky that I am not so sensitive that I can't eat things from our work kitchen simply because there are other gluten-containing products around me.


Absolutely *everyone* who handles food is legally required to go through a food handler's certification course, and should be able to produce proof of this if asked. If you have reason to suspect mistreatment of your food, or un-certified workers, contact you local health department.
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#32 Hache24

 
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Posted 29 April 2011 - 08:23 AM

I am dealing with the same thing. It's as if my family thinks it's a choice I made to get attention. When I am visiting my parents, it's hard when the only milk they have contains lactose and the only bread or cereal has gluten. I have found that Kay DH is right in saying the best family are the ones you aren't related to. Try not to let it get you down. Some people just don't understand that it is a necessary change you have made and you cannot control how they feel, or their lack of understanding. I hope everything is going well and things have gotten better. The most important thing is your health and it's great that you're sticking to it!
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#33 smc

 
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Posted 03 May 2011 - 12:44 PM

I am dealing with the same thing. It's as if my family thinks it's a choice I made to get attention. When I am visiting my parents, it's hard when the only milk they have contains lactose and the only bread or cereal has gluten. I have found that Kay DH is right in saying the best family are the ones you aren't related to. Try not to let it get you down. Some people just don't understand that it is a necessary change you have made and you cannot control how they feel, or their lack of understanding. I hope everything is going well and things have gotten better. The most important thing is your health and it's great that you're sticking to it!

Hi I am new to this post and was diagnosed with celiac almost 2 years ago now. I thought my family would have been supportive but boy was I wrong. Since my diagnosis I have been excluded from going out to dinner with the family on holidays or occasions because certain family members refuse to go to the few choice resturants I can eat safely at. When I have brought up the issue and how it hurts me I am told my diet makes it too hard. Hard for who? They can eat anywhere at anytime the other 364 days a year. I dont feel they take the disease seriously at all. My mother has tasted my food and has said how horrible it is and that she would never eat it even if she had to. My father has hurt me on various occasions with comments like "how is your birthday cake? oh yeah you cant have any haha" I dont understand this at all. It hurts alot and it is causing problems between them and I. They are very insensitive. Luckily my husband is wonderful - he is basically gluten free by association and has no complaints.
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#34 shadowicewolf

 
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Posted 11 May 2011 - 01:25 PM

I'm somehow lucky i guess. I was just diagnosed two weeks ago, and have had to tell my grandmother and mother (whom i live with) what i can have and can't have anymore. It took them about a week before it finally 'struck' if you will. Now my grandmother is searching up google and looking for gluten free recipies, my mother talks of getting a new toaster for me among other things.

I also had to contact my school (i am a college student that lives on campus) and thus far the Disabilities office says they'll be able to accomidate me :) (luckly i have like two days left of the semester, i told the head that i have enough foodstuffs to last me and that i just want it all arranged for next semester).

My suggestion, is just to keep bringing it up over and over and over again.
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#35 Adrienne2823

 
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Posted 22 June 2011 - 11:07 AM

Hi I am new to this post and was diagnosed with celiac almost 2 years ago now. I thought my family would have been supportive but boy was I wrong. Since my diagnosis I have been excluded from going out to dinner with the family on holidays or occasions because certain family members refuse to go to the few choice resturants I can eat safely at. When I have brought up the issue and how it hurts me I am told my diet makes it too hard. Hard for who? They can eat anywhere at anytime the other 364 days a year. I dont feel they take the disease seriously at all. My mother has tasted my food and has said how horrible it is and that she would never eat it even if she had to. My father has hurt me on various occasions with comments like "how is your birthday cake? oh yeah you cant have any haha" I dont understand this at all. It hurts alot and it is causing problems between them and I. They are very insensitive. Luckily my husband is wonderful - he is basically gluten free by association and has no complaints.


I have had quite a few of the same problems as you. I have had family members basically laugh at me and say things like "oh sorry for you!!lol" and "why cant you just eat it and deal with it" kind of crap. Luckily most of these people aren't blood family (Mom's husband's family)otherwise I would probably be totally heartbroken although it is very annoying either way.

Its sad how so many people don't take food allergies/intolerances seriously. How they brush it off like "oh its not going to kill you" ... I have heard that one a few times. I have been lucky. My husband is very supportive and helps me day to day. My Dad is very supportive and so is his girlfriend, who her brother is Celiac. She is so wonderful and always makes food for me during family gatherings. It is so nice to go somewhere and be able to sit down with your family, have a meal and not worry about explaining yourself all the time or worrying about what you are putting in your mouth.
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#36 momna

 
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Posted 03 July 2011 - 07:55 PM

I have a supportive close knit family and friends but from time to time there is one skeptical friend who'd think that I won't be poisoned if I eat gluten. As if my gluten free diet is somewhat like atkins or south beach! That I am doing this just so that I can slim down.. ( which is weird because I am slim at 100lbs!) <_<
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#37 strawberryshortcake

 
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Posted 01 August 2011 - 11:19 PM

None of you are going to want to read what I am about to write. 99.999% of all people not allergic to gluten don't want to hear about your allergy or celiacs. Sorry. We don't. I love my friend to pieces. But to be honest, I simply cannot take it any more. Every single conversation ends up with her changing the subject to a topic related to her allergy. It's exhausting. I am supportive and she has no clue that I am emotionally drained by this.

The mere suggestion of going to a summer food festival caused her to get very angry at me and my friends for asking if she wanted to go. It was as if stupid non-celiacs should have known better than to ask her to attend a food festival where she can't make the food or know what goes in all the dishes. A polite, non-angry, non-sarcastic "thanks, but no thanks" would have been just fine.

The trouble is, that I hear this kind of indignation all the time. Heck, I read it on these boards in a futile attempt to learn how to be a better friend and help her. How DARE us non-celiacs not know any better. IT IS EXHAUSTING. The world cannot conform to you just because you have a disease or an allergy. That is not how things work. Life isn't fair.

You are non-wheat in a wheat world. Deal with it. I have type I diabetes since age 9. I have to watch every scrap of food I eat, test my blood several times a day, and take injections of insulin. But I can count on one hand the number of times I have brought up my diabetes in the last month. It's always a quick, "Be right back, got to test." I do not drone and whine on and on about it. No one without diabetes wants to hear about it. I will not bore them or gross them out.

My friend's long term boyfriend dumped her two years ago. He said the main reason was that he couldn't take the "gluten this, gluten that, everywhere gluten, gluten, gluten" any more. She was a buzz kill at every step. He told me privately that he got sick of hearing about her pooping and gas issues and that he wasn't allowed to go out to dinner any more because she didn't want to go with because of "cross contamination".

She wouldn't even let him use her dishes to eat anything with gluten on it. Hot sanitized dishwasher apparently doesn't "kill" gluten. None of us are buying that. She ate gluten for forty years and didn't die. One molecule of it will not kill her or make her ill. He's not going to force her to eat off a dirty gluten-covered dish. Again, this was completely exhausting. And I am at that same point. I am trying to work out how to break up with her. Our other friends have had enough and don't see her any more. I would hear from them all the time, "Doesn't she ever shut up about gluten?" She met a new couple at an outing and within 15 minutes she was talking about celiacs. All of these friends got out. I am thinking they have the right idea. I am so over this attention fest.
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#38 sa1937

 
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Posted 02 August 2011 - 03:58 AM

Strawberryshortcake, if you "love my friend to pieces" maybe you should sit down and talk with her if you haven't already. People react to their diagnosis in different ways. You just sound so angry. Or maybe it's just time to move on and either accept her or let the friendship go.
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#39 Hawthorn

 
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Posted 02 August 2011 - 04:26 AM

The trouble is, that I hear this kind of indignation all the time. Heck, I read it on these boards in a futile attempt to learn how to be a better friend and help her. How DARE us non-celiacs not know any better. IT IS EXHAUSTING. The world cannot conform to you just because you have a disease or an allergy. That is not how things work. Life isn't fair.


most celiacs do not expect the world to conform to us. When it get's annoying is when people get in your face about choosing not to eat something. Example 'would you like a biscuit' (knowing already you can't eat gluten)...no thank you...'oh go on, one won't hurt you', really, no thanks, 'oh come on it's not that bad' and so on. It builds resentment.....where if the biscuit was never offered, or a gluten free restaurant was chosen, it need never be an issue.
Quite often it's others that make it an issue because THEY don't like the fact that we can't/won't just eat everything that is put in front of us.
Well, I'm sorry, but I don't want to end up with screaming diarrhoea, stomachache, nausea, vomitting, skin rashes, and brain fog for the next two weeks, just to keep you happy by eating what you want me to eat.

You are non-wheat in a wheat world. Deal with it.


Ah now, if you really know anything about this disease you KNOW it's not just wheat right? Most of what is convenient food wise is out of the question for us. Unless it's been prepared in an area free of gluten (not just wheat) and prepared without anything containing gluten, it can make a celiac person very ill. Read up on one of the threads that someone got glutened by using a bowling ball and then eating something they were safe to eat. Mostly I adapt my own behaviour to fit to the environment around me. If my family hold a party, I take my own food. I don't expect them to prepare entirely gluten free to accomodate me. I would suspect that most people who have gluten issues are the same.

I have type I diabetes since age 9. I have to watch every scrap of food I eat, test my blood several times a day, and take injections of insulin. But I can count on one hand the number of times I have brought up my diabetes in the last month. It's always a quick, "Be right back, got to test." I do not drone and whine on and on about it. No one without diabetes wants to hear about it. I will not bore them or gross them out.

you might think differently if people were trying to force foods onto you that you really couldn't eat.....high sugar or what have you. But, I would imagine if your blood sugar gets strange you can sort that right? You do not have to avoid every single food that may contain, or may have been touched, or prepared in an area that it could have gotten even the tiniest trace of gluten in it.

My friend's long term boyfriend dumped her two years ago. He said the main reason was that he couldn't take the "gluten this, gluten that, everywhere gluten, gluten, gluten" any more. She was a buzz kill at every step. He told me privately that he got sick of hearing about her pooping and gas issues and that he wasn't allowed to go out to dinner any more because she didn't want to go with because of "cross contamination".


I can understand her not wanting to go out. And I can understand him getting annoyed with it. But again to use the diabetes thing...it's not the same issue. He goes out and has a lovely gluteny pizza, comes back, gives her a nice big kiss and before you know it she's in the bathroom with diarrhoea for the next three days. This disease RELIES on those close to us being understanding and considerate. You have no such issue with diabetes. That is down to yourself. Unfortunately, someone else being thoughtless can make us very sick. Would you really want to be sitting on the toilet at 3am emptying the contents of your stomach from either end? Because someone took a sip out of your wine glass after eating pretzels? I don't think so.

All of you guys have been discussing it behind her back it seems. Has any one of you had the courage to actually approach the subject with her face to face? This thing CAN get all encompassing because you have to think about so much, constantly. Sometimes friends are there to bring us into line too, not just to agree with or put up with everything we say.
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#40 bigbird16

 
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Posted 02 August 2011 - 09:13 AM

Strawberryshortcake, I'm sorry for your situation. You hear a lot of things on this board, because this is a place for celiacs, gluten intolerants, and their loved ones to discuss and to vent (and talk about poop :ph34r: ). In daily life, however, I'm sure that most celiacs do not go around waxing poetic about their latest bathroom accomplishments. I've had friends deathly allergic to nuts and peanuts and can count the number of times in 25 years it's been brought up by both on one hand. The only reason gluten (or dairy or soy) ever comes up with my friends is if it's my first time telling them when the situation requires it (like them handing me a cookie) or they ask if I can have something. I go to food festivals, restaurants, special events, etc. with friends. I just don't eat what's provided. Yes, I get sad and angry sometimes about it, but that can either be vented here on this board or chanelled into something creative in the kitchen. Taking things out on friends is not appropriate. Your friend sounds like an anomaly, and it sounds like she could take a chill pill (provided it contains no wheat starch). But yes, a bite or a crumb or a simple pill can have dire consequences, which can include the vile bathroom things, and for some us neurological issues like dropping things, falling down randomly, and incapacitating migraines. Celiac isn't a quick death like anaphylaxis; it can be a slow one if untreated with the only cure--avoiding gluten,--that manifests in many different ways, internally. Hot water does not kill gluten, because it was never alive. Soap and water can wash it off of dishes, however there are implements and utensils that can harbor stuck-on gluten in crevices. I don't expect the world to conform to me. I must adapt my way of doing things to keep myself safe. No one else needs to understand that, but they do need to respect it. It sounds like your friend needs a reality check. She seriously will drive everyone away by moaning all the time, no matter what the subject. It also sounds like you could use a break from someone who weighs you down. I'll go with you to the summer food festival! I'll take notes and prepare those foods myself (probably better than the originals) and share with anyone who wants some good eats!
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#41 Gemini

 
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Posted 02 August 2011 - 11:26 AM

None of you are going to want to read what I am about to write. 99.999% of all people not allergic to gluten don't want to hear about your allergy or celiacs. Sorry. We don't. I love my friend to pieces. But to be honest, I simply cannot take it any more. Every single conversation ends up with her changing the subject to a topic related to her allergy. It's exhausting. I am supportive and she has no clue that I am emotionally drained by this.

The mere suggestion of going to a summer food festival caused her to get very angry at me and my friends for asking if she wanted to go. It was as if stupid non-celiacs should have known better than to ask her to attend a food festival where she can't make the food or know what goes in all the dishes. A polite, non-angry, non-sarcastic "thanks, but no thanks" would have been just fine.

The trouble is, that I hear this kind of indignation all the time. Heck, I read it on these boards in a futile attempt to learn how to be a better friend and help her. How DARE us non-celiacs not know any better. IT IS EXHAUSTING. The world cannot conform to you just because you have a disease or an allergy. That is not how things work. Life isn't fair.

You are non-wheat in a wheat world. Deal with it. I have type I diabetes since age 9. I have to watch every scrap of food I eat, test my blood several times a day, and take injections of insulin. But I can count on one hand the number of times I have brought up my diabetes in the last month. It's always a quick, "Be right back, got to test." I do not drone and whine on and on about it. No one without diabetes wants to hear about it. I will not bore them or gross them out.

My friend's long term boyfriend dumped her two years ago. He said the main reason was that he couldn't take the "gluten this, gluten that, everywhere gluten, gluten, gluten" any more. She was a buzz kill at every step. He told me privately that he got sick of hearing about her pooping and gas issues and that he wasn't allowed to go out to dinner any more because she didn't want to go with because of "cross contamination".

She wouldn't even let him use her dishes to eat anything with gluten on it. Hot sanitized dishwasher apparently doesn't "kill" gluten. None of us are buying that. She ate gluten for forty years and didn't die. One molecule of it will not kill her or make her ill. He's not going to force her to eat off a dirty gluten-covered dish. Again, this was completely exhausting. And I am at that same point. I am trying to work out how to break up with her. Our other friends have had enough and don't see her any more. I would hear from them all the time, "Doesn't she ever shut up about gluten?" She met a new couple at an outing and within 15 minutes she was talking about celiacs. All of these friends got out. I am thinking they have the right idea. I am so over this attention fest.



Unfortunately, there are always going to be those "me" people whose focus is on their world, to the annoyance of everyone else. Most often it's because there are many who have difficulty in grasping how this disease really works and what they need to do to be healthy and live a normal life. They resent the work involved and that translates into how they look at life after a Celiac diagnosis. Yes, there are those who go overboard and like to be drama queens about it all but not all of us are like that. It's more of an overall personality issue.

Personally, as a person whose sibling has Type 1 diabetes, I have always thought being a diabetic is far more difficult than being a Celiac. You are correct, you have to test blood sugar however many times per day, estimate the amount of carbs, proteins, etc. so you can judge the amount of insulin to administer and stay away from sugar in a sugar filled world. I gave up all sugar for 2 years to combat a candida problem and that was much, much harder than giving up gluten. Diabetics can have far more serious, life threatening complications than a Celiac has, most of the time. I have 4 autoimmune diseases and still think diabetes is harder than what I go through. I take this disease in stride and don't let it rule my life, for the most part. I am extremely sensitive also so have to be really careful but it's not a show stopper....or at least I try to not let it be.

You are faced with a choice of keeping her as a friend and talking to her about it or dumping her from your life. Been there, done that and it isn't easy. I have had to dump friends who had other issues that made being with them very difficult. I understand your dilemma. Good luck because it isn't easy talking to people these days. Look at the reactions you will get for posting a scientifically proven fact about Celiac on any forum. And yes, a non-Celiac can eat gluten on a dinner plate and soap and water will wash it off just fine. I won't die if my husband does that. I just don't let him use the wooden spoons I use and he has his own toaster! ;)
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#42 jmrogers31

 
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Posted 02 August 2011 - 12:20 PM

Strawberryshortcake, I am sorry about your friend. I get it a little bit. When I first went gluten free I knew nothing about Celiac disease or gluten intolerance. I was doing a lot of research online and was finding all sorts of stuff that I never knew was related. I was always telling my wife, oh my gosh my anxiety could be tied to this as well. Oh my gosh, my asthma could be tied to this. And this and that. I know I talked about it a lot because it was so new to me. She has been great and went gluten free with me. She only eats gluten when she travels for work. But she sat me down after about two weeks and said, "I love you but this all scares me and I really don't want to talk about it for a while so I can process it." Now I let her bring it up when she has questions or concerns. I make a conscience effort not to bring it up. As far as the original post, everyone has been great. When I described my symptoms my Mom and sister's face went blank and said that both have been secretely suffering from almost all of the same symptoms and would give it a try. The only issue I had was on vacation one year my Dad would say, "Just have one meal, we are on vacation." I sat him down later and said that if it was just the heartburn, indigestion, bloating, cramping, etc. I could maybe handle that. But I don't want the laying in bed at night buzzing with anxiety scared to fall asleep to come back. My anxiety issues where 10x worse than my GI issues and have all but disapeared now.
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#43 T.H.

 
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Posted 05 August 2011 - 07:00 AM

And yes, a non-Celiac can eat gluten on a dinner plate and soap and water will wash it off just fine.


I'd agree, but with a caveat. When the dishwasher is doing a good job, and everything is washed off completely, then the dish is safe if it's got not crevices. But for things like, say, a plate with dried pasta residue, sometimes there is still some left on the plate, even in the dishwasher. We've had that issue at our relatives before, where we had to end up scouring off some of the plates because there was just a little pasta residue you could see still left on the plates. Would have missed it if we hadn't been looking.

So if boyfriend's dishwasher is only so-so, or if his pre-dishwasher rinsing of plates isn't that great it could be an issue. And based on my numerous single, male friends, this is probably more likely than not, LOL. But that being the case, I wouldn't be eating off his glutened plates, either.


And StrawberryShortcake, from your choice of words, I'd assume it's not the soap and water that you are thinking about as the 'gluten killer.' You said: Hot sanitized dishwasher apparently doesn't "kill" gluten. None of us are buying that.

The soap part of the dishwasher is what does the trick. The sanitizing heat? That doesn't do jack to gluten. A dishwasher is not getting any hotter than temperatures in an oven used to bake bread, and THAT doesn't destroy gluten, either. It's a tough molecule, but it's not alive. So a technique used to kill germs doesn't necessarily have the same effect on gluten.

So if you're not buying that the high heat destroys gluten? You might want to rethink that, because it doesn't, not unless it's getting up to around 600 F.


I can honestly understand the frustration with hearing about gluten all the time, and not WANTING to hear about it all the time. We don't want the minutae of someone's bowel habits. It's too much.

But at the same time, it does seem like your friend is running into the attitude that her concerns are invalid and she's just being hyper-sensitive, at least based on the little information you have given about what you and her boyfriend both think. If she's getting sick all the time because the people around her don't think they have to be careful, and aren't careful, maybe part of the reason she keeps talking about it is because she's hoping that her friends/boyfriend will realize that she IS getting sick. That these things ARE an issue. And hoping for a little support, in a way.

Maybe not, maybe she just likes to talk about whatever's going on in her life and can't shut up to save her life. I suppose it's just a sad situation.
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#44 slee11211

 
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Posted 16 August 2011 - 06:05 AM

None of you are going to want to read what I am about to write. 99.999% of all people not allergic to gluten don't want to hear about your allergy or celiacs. Sorry. We don't. I love my friend to pieces. But to be honest, I simply cannot take it any more. Every single conversation ends up with her changing the subject to a topic related to her allergy. It's exhausting. I am supportive and she has no clue that I am emotionally drained by this.

The mere suggestion of going to a summer food festival caused her to get very angry at me and my friends for asking if she wanted to go. It was as if stupid non-celiacs should have known better than to ask her to attend a food festival where she can't make the food or know what goes in all the dishes. A polite, non-angry, non-sarcastic "thanks, but no thanks" would have been just fine.

The trouble is, that I hear this kind of indignation all the time. Heck, I read it on these boards in a futile attempt to learn how to be a better friend and help her. How DARE us non-celiacs not know any better. IT IS EXHAUSTING. The world cannot conform to you just because you have a disease or an allergy. That is not how things work. Life isn't fair.

You are non-wheat in a wheat world. Deal with it. I have type I diabetes since age 9. I have to watch every scrap of food I eat, test my blood several times a day, and take injections of insulin. But I can count on one hand the number of times I have brought up my diabetes in the last month. It's always a quick, "Be right back, got to test." I do not drone and whine on and on about it. No one without diabetes wants to hear about it. I will not bore them or gross them out.

My friend's long term boyfriend dumped her two years ago. He said the main reason was that he couldn't take the "gluten this, gluten that, everywhere gluten, gluten, gluten" any more. She was a buzz kill at every step. He told me privately that he got sick of hearing about her pooping and gas issues and that he wasn't allowed to go out to dinner any more because she didn't want to go with because of "cross contamination".

She wouldn't even let him use her dishes to eat anything with gluten on it. Hot sanitized dishwasher apparently doesn't "kill" gluten. None of us are buying that. She ate gluten for forty years and didn't die. One molecule of it will not kill her or make her ill. He's not going to force her to eat off a dirty gluten-covered dish. Again, this was completely exhausting. And I am at that same point. I am trying to work out how to break up with her. Our other friends have had enough and don't see her any more. I would hear from them all the time, "Doesn't she ever shut up about gluten?" She met a new couple at an outing and within 15 minutes she was talking about celiacs. All of these friends got out. I am thinking they have the right idea. I am so over this attention fest.


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#45 slee11211

 
slee11211

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Posted 16 August 2011 - 06:14 AM

Wow! That's quite a post. Well, I was only diagnosed about 3 weeks ago, and while I'm sure my family and husband have gotten an earful in this early stage, the plan is to be pretty quiet about it in future. I was actually glad to hear your view point, as its an excellent reminder of how wrong this could all go. My husband is not into anything or anyone high maintenance, so I will have to be incredibly careful on that front to keep the peace. Your story will likely stay in the k of my mind for some time. I hope that you are able to figure out the situation with your friend...but frankly, I find it hard to believe that she's just this way about Celiac...she sounds like an overall selfish person who isn't very aware of those around her. Unfortunately, she's got a big lesson coming. Its too bad that you got caught up in it - it sounds like you're being a much better friend right now, and I don't blame you for being over it.
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