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People Not Taking You Seriously


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52 replies to this topic

#46 shadowicewolf

 
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Posted 16 August 2011 - 03:58 PM

Either accept her for what she is or move on and forget about it.
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#47 viviendoparajesus

 
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Posted 18 August 2011 - 05:55 PM

sounds like they are not ready to hear about the effects gluten are having on them. so if i were you i would focus on getting their support versus trying to convince them they need to change their eating if they want to feel better.

i do not see any where about if you asked them why they get annoyed when you say you cannot eat something. is it because they feel guilty they are eating something you cannot? does it make them think about how they should change their diet? are they so misinformed they think you are hurting yourself by not having gluten? they want to be helpful but do not know how so they go about it all wrong?

my impression based on your post is you are annoyed and possibly defensive. if that is the case it can contribute to a nasty cycle with your family. granted my situation with my family is different, but I do not mind checking over labels. it does not hurt me any, it does not take long, and then we both know for sure. it is also somewhat easier for me to look since i have so many dietary restrictions that i can barely keep them straight let alone someone else remembering and understanding them. my boyfriend's family does not get it so i just explain and check labels they do not get it but they are not nasty about it.

my family and friends do not get it. so i try to explain it to them. in your case it seems like there is more going on with your family. i would ask them what is going on with them because as it is everyone just seems frustrated, bored, and tired. i would say about how i feel and try not to sound like i am blaming them. i would try and use i statements so they would not be so reactive, defensive, etc since there seems to be something going on with them.

hope i did not come off as a jerk.

best wishes!
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Misdiagnosed - IBS, TMJ, eczema, KP, etc
Real Diagnosis - Gluten & Casein (milk protein) Intolerance, Cross Reactivity to Yeast & Buckwheat
Recommend: Tests: Entero Labs Gluten Sensitivity & Gene Testing
Books: * Allergies by Dr. Carolee Bateson-Koch (digestion, yeast, parasites, body pH...)
* Why Do I Still Have Thyroid Symptoms by Dr. Datis Kharrazian (gluten & autoimmune problems)
* Change Your Brain Change Your Life by Dr. Daniel Amen (foods, supplements...)
Supplements: * digestive enzymes, * probiotics (dairy free - Klaire Labs - Pro5)

#48 sariesue

 
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Posted 23 August 2011 - 06:43 AM

Maybe some of the problems are how you come across. Personally, I find that saying "unless" completely negates the fact you said no which can make things confusing for others. Also, when most people talk about foods such as, cake, pasta, doughnut they are talking about the glutinous versions. So the correct answer to they question can you eat doughnuts is no. By qualifying your response you make it seem like it is possible they will be able to eat the item they are offering. It comes across like saying no, I don't eat hot dogs unless they are 100% beef. So the person's first inclination would be to check to see if they bought all beef hot dogs. I find it easier to say point blank no when I'm offered gluten and only answer the questions they ask.
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#49 nikiluna

 
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Posted 07 September 2011 - 03:57 PM

OMG!!! I have went through the exact same thing this weekend for a family birthday party and Labor day party!!! It is so exhausting! They just don't understand what we have been going through:(

Hopefully it gets better, when dealing with friends and family


How do you deal with family members and friends who don't take you seriously?

I discovered I have celiac disease and went gluten free 6 months ago. The problem is I've been living abroad for several years so my family has not witnessed my symptoms. All these years I hid from them that I suffered from fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue as well as constant GI symptoms and mental health issues, etc...

And so I'm visiting them this summer and they seem to think going gluten free has only been a diet choice, nothing dangerous. I tried telling them about the symptoms I was getting. Also, my mother has suffered the same symptoms all her life and suffers from cerebellar ataxia and has had difficulty walking for a few years as a result of gluten. I tried explaining this to them and that if I carried on eating gluten, I'd end up like this too. But it's like their face goes blank and they stop listening at this point.

So I feel like I constantly have to defend myself. They especially don't understand why I'm being careful with cross contamination and get annoyed each time I say I can't eat something.

For example, I was making gluten free pasta at my aunt's house the other day and she wanted me to use her colander. I said I'd rather not as they use it for wheat pasta all the time. But she was arguing that it's fine and that it's washed very well. I still said no, but she wouldn't let go.

Or another example of annoying conversations we have is:

Aunt: "can you eat doughnuts?"
Me: "No, unless they are gluten free"
Aunt: "I have some doughnuts in the fridge, can you eat those?"
Me: "Most likely not as doughnuts are generally made from wheat flour unless you took them in the gluten free section, but no one buys baked goods in the gluten free section unless they're looking for gluten free specifically"
Aunt: "You never know, maybe I grabbed gluten free doughnuts without realising, let's have a look"
- So Aunt gets up, walks to the fridge and brings me the doughnuts -
Me: "No seriously, they will be made of wheat. You don't go to gluten free bakeries or shop in the gluten free section unless you are gluten free. It's not something you just stumble on accidently. There are not enough gluten free products on the market for that to happen, unfortunately."
Aunt: "You don't know that. You don't know until you read the ingredients."
- Aunt hands me the doughnuts -
Aunt: "Go on, check the ingredients"
Me: "Fine"
Me: "First ingredient - wheat flour"
Aunt: "ah"
Aunt: "But I have biscuits too, can you eat those?"
Me: "No, biscuits are made of gluten too"
Aunt: "But maybe these are made with gluten free flour"
Me: "No, as I said, baked goods on the market are very rarely gluten free"
Aunt: "Why don't you just look at the ingredients before dismissing them?"
Me: "Because I know they contain gluten! These things are made with wheat flour!"
- Aunt gets up and gets the biscuits and makes me read the ingredients -
Me: "Made with WHEAT FLOUR"
Aunt: "Ah, well what about these other biscuits?"
Me: "As I said, baked goods are generally a no..."

*Sighs*

And so on.... And it gets tiring for me... and them...

And the problem is, they raise the gluten issue in every conversation. And when I respond they always seem tired and bored of me talking about gluten. Well then why don't they just let me eat what I want and stop questing and interfering. :rolleyes:

Is anyone in the same situation? How do you deal with that? :rolleyes:

(rant over)


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Symptoms since I was 16yrs old (maybe even before mom said even in grade school would always complain of stomach issues..)

16 years of living with no diagnosis because doctors would not take it seriously!!!

Diagnosed September 3, 2011 by endoscope and biopsy ( 1st day of my new healthier life)

Gluten Free September 3, 2011


#50 DanPatch

 
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Posted 08 September 2011 - 01:09 PM

Ahhh....

This is encouraging (in a very frustrating way) to hear. I have the same issues with someone in our family, and it is difficult. In fact, I think I'll go down now and see if I can "help" with dinner.
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#51 Februaryrich

 
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Posted 14 September 2011 - 05:33 PM

I just went gluten-free for 2 weeks now and I've been doing really good since. My dad seems to be more supportive than my mom and more than your aunt for sure lol. I showed them how my hair doesn't fall out anymore since I went gluten-free and they seemed to be impressed with the results so they support me a lot. We're going to get some gluten-free stuffs for the first time tomorrow, gotta go grabs those Larabars everybody's been talking about haha
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Gluten free since 01/09/11
Food intolerance to be determined!

#52 Kay53

 
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Posted 17 September 2011 - 01:20 PM

How do you deal with family members and friends who don't take you seriously?

I discovered I have celiac disease and went gluten free 6 months ago. The problem is I've been living abroad for several years so my family has not witnessed my symptoms. All these years I hid from them that I suffered from fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue as well as constant GI symptoms and mental health issues, etc...

And so I'm visiting them this summer and they seem to think going gluten free has only been a diet choice, nothing dangerous. I tried telling them about the symptoms I was getting. Also, my mother has suffered the same symptoms all her life and suffers from cerebellar ataxia and has had difficulty walking for a few years as a result of gluten. I tried explaining this to them and that if I carried on eating gluten, I'd end up like this too. But it's like their face goes blank and they stop listening at this point.

So I feel like I constantly have to defend myself. They especially don't understand why I'm being careful with cross contamination and get annoyed each time I say I can't eat something.

For example, I was making gluten free pasta at my aunt's house the other day and she wanted me to use her colander. I said I'd rather not as they use it for wheat pasta all the time. But she was arguing that it's fine and that it's washed very well. I still said no, but she wouldn't let go.

Or another example of annoying conversations we have is:

Aunt: "can you eat doughnuts?"
Me: "No, unless they are gluten free"
Aunt: "I have some doughnuts in the fridge, can you eat those?"
Me: "Most likely not as doughnuts are generally made from wheat flour unless you took them in the gluten free section, but no one buys baked goods in the gluten free section unless they're looking for gluten free specifically"
Aunt: "You never know, maybe I grabbed gluten free doughnuts without realising, let's have a look"
- So Aunt gets up, walks to the fridge and brings me the doughnuts -
Me: "No seriously, they will be made of wheat. You don't go to gluten free bakeries or shop in the gluten free section unless you are gluten free. It's not something you just stumble on accidently. There are not enough gluten free products on the market for that to happen, unfortunately."
Aunt: "You don't know that. You don't know until you read the ingredients."
- Aunt hands me the doughnuts -
Aunt: "Go on, check the ingredients"
Me: "Fine"
Me: "First ingredient - wheat flour"
Aunt: "ah"
Aunt: "But I have biscuits too, can you eat those?"
Me: "No, biscuits are made of gluten too"
Aunt: "But maybe these are made with gluten free flour"
Me: "No, as I said, baked goods on the market are very rarely gluten free"
Aunt: "Why don't you just look at the ingredients before dismissing them?"
Me: "Because I know they contain gluten! These things are made with wheat flour!"
- Aunt gets up and gets the biscuits and makes me read the ingredients -
Me: "Made with WHEAT FLOUR"
Aunt: "Ah, well what about these other biscuits?"
Me: "As I said, baked goods are generally a no..."

*Sighs*

And so on.... And it gets tiring for me... and them...

And the problem is, they raise the gluten issue in every conversation. And when I respond they always seem tired and bored of me talking about gluten. Well then why don't they just let me eat what I want and stop questing and interfering. :rolleyes:

Is anyone in the same situation? How do you deal with that? :rolleyes:

(rant over)

That is great. And Yes, others do not seem to understand. Loved this, thank you
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#53 AVR1962

 
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Posted 23 September 2011 - 10:10 AM

Well, it is a relief to know that I am not the only one dealing with this. I think a person really has to walk in our shoes to really realize. I went to a family reunion this past summer and as I watched my family eat their pastas and bread I was thinking 'this stuff is killing them.' I have tried a couple times to explain to people and they just do not get it. We are told all our life that eating bread is healthy so when someone tells you something different you have to be out of your mind, right? You have to do what is best for you and if they don't get it, it is unfortunate for them. I would though, some way some how get your mom in for testing. She could put years of ataxia issues behind her, that's been one of my biggest issues, newly diagnosed and contining to improve!
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Yesterday is not ours to recover but today is ours to win or lose!

Miscarriage, Kidney stones, Anemia, Pneumonia, Migraines, Restless leg, Bone fractures, Blurred/Double vision, Extreme fatigue, Bone & Joint Pain, Thyroid nodule, Celiac diagnosed 2011, Spine and leg bone loss, GERD, Vitamin deficiencies, Malabsorbtion, Neuropathy issues, Ataxia, Raynaud's Syndrome. Currently on diet with limited grain and sugar.




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