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Dining As A Gluten Free Guest


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#1 Rowena

 
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Posted 08 October 2010 - 03:06 PM

What do you do when you go over to other people's houses, and they have a bunch of gluten-y food that you can't eat?

How do you not offend them when you don't eat their food?

What if it's something really yummy, but they don't use gluten free substitutes? (Like my hubby requested pizza this weekend... AAAAACK!!!!)



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Gluten Free since Oct. 1, 2010
Fish/Seafood Free since 1997
Chocolate Free (with a few taste tests to see if I'm just crazy) since 2001.
Officially Dairy free 8/5/2013 (mostly dairy free before that, but I like my cheese and things) (dx'd officially with lactose intolerance, suspect casein too though)
Esophagitis dx'd 8/5/2013 thus doing a diet devoid of acidic foods and stuff


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#2 tarnalberry

 
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Posted 08 October 2010 - 03:17 PM

I think people are afraid of offending people far more often than people get offended. I would be MORE offended, as a host, if a guest ate something that could harm themselves (or just was really unpleasant) thinking that I couldn't handle them saying no to something.

Be polite about it, offer thanks for the intention, and take your own food (or eye the fruit on the counter) so they can feel comfortable about you NOT feeling uncomfortable (or hungry). (It's really in the "if you don't make a big deal about it, no one else will either" category.)
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#3 Emilushka

 
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Posted 08 October 2010 - 03:54 PM

As a followup, let's say a friend offers to make gluten-free food in a single serving (or enough sides that you will have food to eat). Should you trust them or worry about cross-contamination in their gluten-filled kitchen?
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#4 Lisa

 
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Posted 08 October 2010 - 04:47 PM

I would kindly accept the invitation (Celiac is no excuse to give up living). Explain that you have a newly diagnosed food intolerance (or more understood, allergy). Tell your hostess that you would like to bring your own salad, or offer to make enough for the entire dinner party. Make it at home and buy some store bought croutons that you can add for others after you have taken your serving.

I have found, that there is almost always SOMETHING that I can eat (but I am not sensitive either). Most of my friends are not quite comfortable with serving me. They welcome me bring a dish.

After a while you can judge what would most likely contain gluten. And your friends would welcome questions.

I always tell my friends to plan their meal as they choose, but be open to a few questions and I always ofter to bring a dish or some kind. And close friends, save me the labels. :)

After all the company-fellowship-friendship is the important thing. :)
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Lisa

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#5 notme!

 
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Posted 08 October 2010 - 06:54 PM

i bring food - most people who know me already were trying to get me to eat! now, they're happy i'm eating even if i bring my own food :)
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arlene

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#6 gfForLife

 
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Posted 08 October 2010 - 07:14 PM

I don't know why someone would be offended if you can't eat something that you have an intolerance to. That just doesn't make sense to me. I've never had this happen, or maybe I just don't care enough to pay attention since I am not an easily offended person I never really think about silly things like this offending others. Does that make sense :lol: Bringing a large dish to share with everyone that is a naturally gluten free item is a good idea. Salads, dips with chips or veggies, shrimp cocktail...just take your portion first!
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#7 Cypressmyst

 
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Posted 09 October 2010 - 12:39 AM

I convert them. :ph34r:

:lol:

At least that seems to be my track record so far.

I have yet to talk to someone whose house I frequent who has not raised an eyebrow at the myriad of things that have cleared up for me and looked into it themselves. I always hit on 2 or 3 problems they have. Once they go gluten-free they find that their symptoms go away and we have gluten-free meals together. ;)

Mind you I'm only a few months into this journey.

Now I have always always been a picky eater of some variety or another so I learned long ago to just bring my own. I tell the host/hostess thank you, I really do appreciate it/that is sooooo sweet of them, I'm sure their _____ is fabulous but that I get horribly sick with ____ or I have an ethical issue with _____. But really...most people understand, I have never had an issue at least not to my face. :P

I'm also not pushy about it and don't make a big deal over it. If they inquire further I happily tell them though as most of the populace has a gluten issue and it is up to us to help heal them. Their Docs sure aren't going to figure it out. :blink:
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#8 Skylark

 
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Posted 09 October 2010 - 07:45 AM

I bring food too. If it's just me and a friend rather than a party (rare), I have a couple friends I trust to cook gluten-free. One has culinary training, the other an unusual amount of common sense. The rest I invite over and I do the cooking, rather than going to their homes to eat. I avoid offending by saying I wouldn't want to put them to the trouble of cooking gluten-free so why don't I cook?
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#9 GlutenFreeManna

 
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Posted 09 October 2010 - 07:28 PM

If it's a dinner I explain to the host that I need to bring my own food (and why) and I bring enough for everyone. I usually do a mixed greens salad with great toppings like nuts, dried cranberries, goat cheese, apples or pears. Sometimes I'll take a grilled chopped chicken breast to put on my own salad so it's more like a meal for me. And I'll have a couple choices of homemade dressing--balsamic or Italian usually. People are usually so impressed by such a fancy salad they don't miss the croutons at all. I always try to take my salad first or have a separate bowl premade for me so I don't have to worry about cc.

If it's not a dinner (just apps or snacks) then I will bring something in my purse to snack on(descretely, away from the main party) if I need it. I get a drink, keep it in my hands at all times and politely decline any food if offered. I alway try to keep my hands busy/full so that peopel that don't know me won't try to push food on me. If I know the host really well I might offer to bring a gluten free app or desert or a veggie tray or something, but I usually don't bring it up and if they ask I tell them to please not make anything special for me. I have gotten glutened from eating raw veggies at a baby shower before.

I can understand the whole "afraid of offending" thing. My MIL is a food pusher--the type that gets offended if you don't eat her food. The first time I met her we had just flown in and we had stopped to get food on the way because the airport was about an hours drive. When we got there (about 3 hours after dinner time) she asked if we were hungry, we said "no, we already ate." She proceeded to get out the leftover lasagna and make us both plates even though we said we were not hungry! It was like that scene in "My big fat Greek Wedding." Anyway, even people like my MIl can understand the words "Food Allergy" (the lasagna incident happened long before I suspected gluten intolerance). Anyone that keeps insisting you eat soemthing when you politely decilne is being ruder than your are for declining the food. And I tend to think that someone that gets offended by this has confused food with love--they think people aren't happy or having a good time unless they are eating. This is their problem if they are offended, not yours.
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A simple meal with love is better than a feast where there is hatred. Proverbs 15:17 (CEV)

#10 lcarter

 
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Posted 10 October 2010 - 05:45 AM

This very situation happened to me last night when we were invited over for the first time to have dinner in the home of my son's girlfriend. When she emailed me to confirm, I emailed her back the following reply:

We are really looking forward to seeing everyone later this afternoon! I know cooking for me is such a pain since I can't eat any gluten or dairy. So, I was thinking I would bring something to add to our dinner. I 'm planning on bringing fried rice to share with everyone. I make it with natural brown rice, veggies, and frequently meat. That way it will make planning a lot easier on the cook, plus it's always fun to have something extra to share. See you at 4:00! Linda

My fried rice is really a meal unto itself. First, cook the rice. Cut up the chicken breast {or other meat of choice] into cubes and marinate while preparing and cooking the veggies. For the marinate, I like a gluten-free soy sauce [Bragg Liquid Aminnos is my favorite], a little dried ginger powder, and pepper. Then, in a wok or frying pan saute onion in a bit of olive oil. Add a bag of chopped, fresh mixed stir-fry veggies [or any of your favorite veggies for that matter] to the wok. When the veggie mixture is cooked, but just slightly still crisp, remove veggie mix to another bowl. To the chicken + marinate to the wok with a bit more olive oil and stir-fry. When the chicken is done, add veggies and cooked rice back into the wok and heat through.

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#11 Reba32

 
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Posted 10 October 2010 - 05:53 AM

If it's family, or close friends, I can't understand why they'd be offended if you a-bring your own or b-request that they scrub ever surface of their kitchen before they prepare your meal. Afterall, if they're family or close friend, then they're supposed to love you, and I'm pretty sure they wouldn't want you to get sick from whatever they feed you.

Or you can just take your own, and a couple bottles of wine so that the hostess gets a bit tipsy and doesn't notice you're not eating her spagetti and meatballs ;)
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#12 Rowena

 
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Posted 10 October 2010 - 07:34 PM

Or you can just take your own, and a couple bottles of wine so that the hostess gets a bit tipsy and doesn't notice you're not eating her spagetti and meatballs ;)


I love it! Not that I drink even an ounce, and thus would not even know what wine would be good. (Or that any of my family and most of my friends drink...) Thus this wouldnt work. But love it all the same.

Yeah anyway, my family (includin my inlaws) is very kind and understandin and they really try to be helpful. (And my dear hubby even went out of his way this weekend to make sure I had a pizza I could eat... We bought a frozen rice crust pizza... [I woulda much rather made my own, but we were in a hurry...]) And my in-laws made sure I got all I wanted first and they cut mine first. Yadda yadda yadda. So my family is good to me. Though for some reason I worry more about offendin my own parents than the in-laws.

But yea, I will definitely make sure to parties and such I bring somethin to share and take mine first. And I have discovered there are a lot of yummy things that I can make gluten free that are really good if not better than "normal" food. (IE I love rice noodles better than the gluteny "normal" pasta.... mmmm) Like I just tonight made chx and potatoes that was yummy and completely gluten free. (And the gluten free bbq sauce was so much better than the gluteny stuff! YUM!!!!!!!!!!!!) And I can make stuff my husband will eat, and so I assume most people who are not gluten free will eat it... Not that my husband is a picky eater.

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Gluten Free since Oct. 1, 2010
Fish/Seafood Free since 1997
Chocolate Free (with a few taste tests to see if I'm just crazy) since 2001.
Officially Dairy free 8/5/2013 (mostly dairy free before that, but I like my cheese and things) (dx'd officially with lactose intolerance, suspect casein too though)
Esophagitis dx'd 8/5/2013 thus doing a diet devoid of acidic foods and stuff


#13 sandsurfgirl

 
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Posted 10 October 2010 - 07:53 PM

You are sweet to worry that they will be offended when they are being so supportive. But... stop it! LOL

You have an autoimmnune disorder which means that your body is attacking your intestines when you eat gluten and causing destruction in there. You might as well eat tiny little grenades. So... people who love you would never want to set off tiny grenades in your belly.

If anyone is offended they don't deserve to be on your people to visit list.
  • 1
Lots of doctors diagnosed me with lots of things including IBS, lactose intolerance, wheat intolerance, and quite a few of them threw up their hands in total confusion.

Had GI symptoms, allergy symptoms and unexplained illness my whole life.

Jan. 2010 Diagnosed celiac at the age of 40.
Ready to get well and get on with my life!

#14 Skylark

 
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Posted 10 October 2010 - 10:20 PM

But yea, I will definitely make sure to parties and such I bring somethin to share and take mine first. And I have discovered there are a lot of yummy things that I can make gluten free that are really good if not better than "normal" food. (IE I love rice noodles better than the gluteny "normal" pasta.... mmmm) Like I just tonight made chx and potatoes that was yummy and completely gluten free. (And the gluten free bbq sauce was so much better than the gluteny stuff! YUM!!!!!!!!!!!!) And I can make stuff my husband will eat, and so I assume most people who are not gluten free will eat it... Not that my husband is a picky eater.[/color][/font][/i]

That's the spirit! I went to a pot luck last night and took homemade dal (Indian lentils), as there are some vegetarians in the crowd and the dish is naturally gluten-free and vegetarian. It all vanished.
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#15 kareng

 
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Posted 11 October 2010 - 04:30 AM

You might as well eat tiny little grenades.

:P :P :P
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