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Sick Of Being Gluten Free
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Hi I am almost 14 and have been Gluten-Free for about a year and a half. I feel very alone. Every sunday morning at church all the kids in my youth group have donuts. I don't think I can even start to tell you how much I crave just being able to have one! I get very sick when I get glutened. I get a SEVERE stomach ache. I hate watching people eat stuff! It's not really that I crave it it is just having to watch them. Then I feel left out. I feel like I am trapped in this body that can't go to birthday parties because I feel paralyzed about getting sick. I feel so left out of things like going to the mall and getting some candy from the candy store. Just those little things I miss so much.

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This is a very hard time of life to go gluten free because it is just the time of life when we need to feel like we belong, like we "fit in" and are part of the group. I am so sorry you are having to go through this at this time. It does get easier as we get older, I can assure you. Hopefully your peers will have some suggestions for you. {{{hugs}}}

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Order some from Kinnickinick foods in Canada- they are pretty decent, bring one with you and eat the donut.

No need to be feeling left out - it is something you'll have to get used to, or else be sick. I went through from about the age of 15 to last year with no diagnosis, and trust me, I'd have given all of those years of eating gluten to have my life back and to have it be productive. You are very lucky that you know what challenges you need to face!

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darkblue~ I can only imagine what you are goin through. Bein 14 and gluten free is hard. My challenge when I was your age (only a few years ago for me, so try not to think of me as "old" when I say "when I was your age") was chocolate. Everyone would be eatin chocolate around me, and I'd so badly want it. But I could not eat chocolate without being sick. It drove me crazy. It was all I could do every sunday to not take one of the twix bein passed around in the basket.

But you'll pull through it. I promise. In the meantime, on those days when you are around people who are eatin such horrors that look good, you bring an alternative. (Ive found comfort in gluten free pretzels, but I dont know what you might take comfort in.) And eventually someone will take notice and even ask you what you can eat. Thats what happened to me, and eventually my teacher started bringin me starbursts, my favorite candy. Have heart. You can do it. I wish I could tell you it will get easier right away... but it won't. But I promise it will get better.

It is like when we were kids and bullies were omnipresent. Our moms and dads would tell us, "Don't worry honey. If you ignore them, they'll stop." But it didn't happen right away did it? Nope. It still took time, even though we did our part. It is the same principle. Ignore those donuts, even replace them with somethin else, and the difficulties will disappear. It will take time though, just like the bullies.

Good luck to ya. Don't give up. You have done so well thus far!

PS yer not alone. We are here for ye. ;) I know its not quite the same as someone sittin right next to ye with the same problems, but there are people who can help you

Edited by Rowena
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Thanks everyone for replying! It is encouraging to have someone to talk to.

What I am really having trouble with is watching people eat. I don't crave the food, I just hate watching them eat it. And feeling paranoid about being around gluten.

How do I go to people's homes and not be afraid about being glutened? I mean, I feel trapped!

I eat really well at home, we don't have any gluten in the house and that really helps. My mom is helpful with it, but she says she understands but she really does not since she's not the one going out WITH people at church and things. She's not a teen dealing with it. It is way harder beacuse I am around it more and she is not.

How can I get over this fear?

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Thanks everyone for replying! It is encouraging to have someone to talk to.

What I am really having trouble with is watching people eat. I don't crave the food, I just hate watching them eat it. And feeling paranoid about being around gluten.

How do I go to people's homes and not be afraid about being glutened? I mean, I feel trapped!

I eat really well at home, we don't have any gluten in the house and that really helps. My mom is helpful with it, but she says she understands but she really does not since she's not the one going out WITH people at church and things. She's not a teen dealing with it. It is way harder beacuse I am around it more and she is not.

How can I get over this fear?

Yeah watching people is hard, no matter what age. I look at people now, and I want to scream, "Don't eat that in front of me. Just looking at it makes me sick." I have this problem of looking at something and saying to myself, "Ewww all that gluten! Get it away."

As for going to people's houses, and other places, this is actually a question I myself posed in the Coping With forum. I've gotten a lot of answers. I suggest you look there for more details on it, but I can say just bring your own food, and maybe even in a large enough quantity to share. (Salad is always a good bet. *sage nod*) Just make sure to take your food first, and/or have a couple servings set aside for ye.

Your mom, she is trying her hardest obviously to help you and understand what you are going through. But you are right, she aint a teen goin' through it. But perhaps you should talk to her about how you are feeling, and she can better understand it. She's there to help you on your journey through life, and she can't help you if don't talk to her. She may even have some input on what you can do as well. And sure she aint a teen, and she aint with ye in your classes or at your friends parties, (thank heavens for that right?) or whereever you may be. But if you talk to her now and then, it will make ye both feel better.

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When I was 14 (I am 22 now), I didn't know I was supposed to be on a restricted diet. I was tiny, malnourished and always sick. I would go to the parties and go out with my friends, eating whatever they ate, and then afterward would come the stomach pains, moaning and general crappy feelings, as my friends watched me, awkwardly and helplessly.

Trust me, having to put your friends through all that is a lot worse than refraining from enjoying those foods. Now I politely decline (but it is still REALLY hard. I mean, I'm in college and all we do is drink beer, which has huge amounts of gluten...), and after dinner, I am still ready to have fun and communicate. Much better that way. Your friends will understand, and nobody should think you're weird. These days, everyone has lifestyle restrictions- it is very common. Stick it out, and you will be happy you did.

Also, don't be paranoid. Just be hyper-aware of what goes in your mouth. You have control, no matter what the situation is. And remember that it could always be worse. You are totally awesome for hanging in there. ;)

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I'm 16 and a junior in high school. I have had celiacs for a year.

All of my friends are completely understanding. Being around gluten probably won't effect you. (There are some severe cases though, so it could, it depends.) It annoys me too, I promise. I watch them all eat their sandwiches at lunch while I eat my peeled apple. They still eat infront of me, you can't prevent that, but a lot of times I will bring my own food over their houses or keep some there if we are close friends. Many times their mothers will accomadate my needs for dinner. They are always understanding when I explain it.

I have breakdowns where I cry because I feel sorry for myself about my diet. I want to eat all of the junk a normal teenager eats, but I can't, and that's that. You really should look into gluten free foods in your supermarket. You will find some really fantastic ones.

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Hi I am almost 14 and have been Gluten-Free for about a year and a half. I feel very alone. Every sunday morning at church all the kids in my youth group have donuts. I don't think I can even start to tell you how much I crave just being able to have one! I get very sick when I get glutened. I get a SEVERE stomach ache. I hate watching people eat stuff! It's not really that I crave it it is just having to watch them. Then I feel left out. I feel like I am trapped in this body that can't go to birthday parties because I feel paralyzed about getting sick. I feel so left out of things like going to the mall and getting some candy from the candy store. Just those little things I miss so much.

I know how you feel...every morning at our church everyone eats cinnamon rolls, and even though I didn't like them before I was diagnosed I feel left out because now I can't eat them even if I wanted too...

I'm super super sensitive and I've been diagnosed for a year (I'm 20), and somedays I still feel like crying when my friends have pizza, or there is a fellowship dinner.

But I've found a lot of amazing food I can still have! (there are a ton of candies I can still eat)

And I decided that I was tired of mourning the loss of food that just made me sick....

I don't know if that helps any, but I hope it does...

And if you need anyone to talk to you can always PM me :)

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Yeah, i was just at a wedding shower where I could eat precisely two things and three people offered me giant slices of cake in about two minutes. Fortunately, I had something to do with my hands, or else it would have been more frustrating to watch people eat. Taking your own is always helpful-- if I had more food in the house, I would have done so. Eating beforehand helps too (which I did). I am older than you though, so the peer pressure is lighter, surprise!

Do you draw, or knit, or carve, or make jewelry or something like that? Depending on the atmosphere, it may not be appropriate but certainly in some cases that would help. People would ask you about what you're doing and probably be both distracted and impressed.

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I'm new to the wheat free diet, and it's horrible to have to watch people eat food that I cant eat right in front of me. I understand it is one of the hardest things in the world. While I was trying to figure out what was wrong with me I went lactose free, and it was incredibly hard to watch my parents put cheese on their pasta and have cheese on toast.

They were my favourite things! I wanted to (and a couple of times, did) cry.

The best option here is you need to stop thinking about it a 'difference' about you and make it become part of your identity. Admittedly children of 14 or young adolescent age may not be as accepting as adult, but if they are your friends they will probably sympathise and it will become a part of the person they hang with.

Another note is you need to not be hung up on what you cant eat. There are tonnes of things you can eat, including wheat free alternatives to a lot of foods on the market. Wander around a store and find things that are wheat free that you like - a surprising number of things aren't made with wheat when you stop and read the labels. Stock up on something tasty and take that with you to eat after, and mingle with the doughnut eaters when you feel less jealous.

it's a hard time. I hope you find something for you. =)

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Hi I am almost 14 and have been Gluten-Free for about a year and a half. I feel very alone. Every sunday morning at church all the kids in my youth group have donuts. I don't think I can even start to tell you how much I crave just being able to have one! I get very sick when I get glutened. I get a SEVERE stomach ache. I hate watching people eat stuff! It's not really that I crave it it is just having to watch them. Then I feel left out. I feel like I am trapped in this body that can't go to birthday parties because I feel paralyzed about getting sick. I feel so left out of things like going to the mall and getting some candy from the candy store. Just those little things I miss so much.

Dear Darkblue i perfectly understand how u feel. Think this way - U dont need donuts ! They are unhealthy , eat fruit instead or something else. When i was in high school my friends whold eat fast food, pizza, hamburger, all kind os sweets, u know what i ate ?

Bannanas , apples and orange juice, along with my turkey / bread sandwich. U dont nned to feel paralyzed , there are many alternatives u can get. When im hungry i eat bunch of almonds, eggs, lean meat, honey, cheese and Gluten free/lactose free sweets from Organic store.

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Hi Darkblue,

I wonder if you took some Larabars with you if that would be better? They come in a lot of different flavors, and they are small so you could carry a couple around with you all the time. You could also look up recipes for other snacks that could be taken with you. Like microwave peanut brittle, or pumpkin bars, or hard boiled eggs, or other things like that. Maybe your mom could help you make some snacks at home to have ready for when you go out. It's a good idea to always have some gluten-free food or snacks with you when you go out, as you never know when you might get stuck somewhere longer than planned, and have to find something to eat. It helps to be prepared.

Another thing that might help is to wash your hands before eating. That's a simple way to avoid cross-contamination if you are in someone else's home and don't know if there is gluten floating around. Not hard or complicated and only takes a minute too. Maybe a small pack or something would be handy to carry snacks in.

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Thanks everyone for replying! It is encouraging to have someone to talk to.

What I am really having trouble with is watching people eat. I don't crave the food, I just hate watching them eat it. And feeling paranoid about being around gluten.

How do I go to people's homes and not be afraid about being glutened? I mean, I feel trapped!

I eat really well at home, we don't have any gluten in the house and that really helps. My mom is helpful with it, but she says she understands but she really does not since she's not the one going out WITH people at church and things. She's not a teen dealing with it. It is way harder beacuse I am around it more and she is not.

How can I get over this fear?

I know what you mean... I practically hold my breath when I'm in the same car with someone eating like a burger.. and that may be kinda silly... but then if someone is baking, there could be flour in the air, so I try to be really careful. You have to really get the point across about how serious celiac is... most people will really try to help you. But I seriously get disgusted watching people eat gluteny things... I'm 19, and I've been mostly wheat free since I was 8... but I would go to friends houses and "cheat" on my diet.. but I've been totally gluten free and dairy free since I was 14.. so I know how it goes.. at school lunches when everyone has it easy buying lunch.. I mean we know our food is healthier but still.. lol. I like your word glutened, I haven't noticed that before :) haha

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Most of the gluten-free donuts I have seen are frozen. Couldn't you or your parents explain your situation to the church group. Maybe there is a freezer or fridge available in which you could store your gluten-free donuts and then bring them out prior to mass or nuke them so they would be avaiable for you to eat with your friends.

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I haven't been gluten-free for very long - only a few months - and at first I got really upset about all the foods I couldn't eat. It's tough going to school and watching everyone around you eat gluten-packed snacks that you can barely look at. Of course I still have my bad days like everyone else where I feel really upset, but I have found a lot of great gluten-free foods to make those days better. Most supermarkets now have a great gluten-free area with frozen meals and other treats. Some of my new favorites are the different varieties of soft-baked cookies by enjoy life. So far I have had the snickerdoodle and gingerbread kinds and they are absolutely fantastic.

The key is to find a special treat and bring it along when you know everyone else will be eating things you can't. In my experience, it helps a lot to have something special of your own to munch on. :)

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Im sorry you are having a hard time of it. It would be tough at 14 yrs old. That makes you...grade 9? Yes, that's a hard age. When I was 14, I just loved hanging out with friends and I felt free. I wouldnt' have wanted to be tied in to a particular diet.

That said, there are so many great options these days and given that you mentioned your church group, I must say that it seems that any decent church would make it their mission to ensure you are included by having gluten free donuts available. Speak to the youth pastor. I"m sad that the church hasn't taken it upon themselves to rectify this, but I bet its' just an oversight.

The church likely has a kitchen and a freezer -- if the church doesn't do it, you just go ahead (well, get your parents to go ahead) and order some donuts on-line and stick them in the freezer.

KDAWG

Hi I am almost 14 and have been Gluten-Free for about a year and a half. I feel very alone. Every sunday morning at church all the kids in my youth group have donuts. I don't think I can even start to tell you how much I crave just being able to have one! I get very sick when I get glutened. I get a SEVERE stomach ache. I hate watching people eat stuff! It's not really that I crave it it is just having to watch them. Then I feel left out. I feel like I am trapped in this body that can't go to birthday parties because I feel paralyzed about getting sick. I feel so left out of things like going to the mall and getting some candy from the candy store. Just those little things I miss so much.

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I've been gluten free for about a year and a half now as well. It is difficult to watch others eat things you can't have. It's horrible how they can pick up a donut already made for them while we have to go through so much cooking to get donuts that are alright for us. I'd have to say we're lucky though that there are gluten-free versions of everything out there. I recently found out that eating gluten when you have Celiac Disease can cause cancer. Scary thought, huh? Anyway don't let this issue get you down. You can still do so many things.

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I have been gluten free for over a year or so, and today, I still struggle with people eating food in front of me, it is not that I really want one, but the fact that I cannot, drives me crazy!!

What I have found helpful, is carrying little snacks that you enjoy and only eat them for a special treat! Like, now I have some hazelnut bars/wafers/cookie things, that are super good! Way better than the dougnuts I remember.

I also, have found a really good friend, who will say how terrible the food is, to help me feel better.

It is tough, but you are not alone! It does get easier :)

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I was just diagnosed a few weeks ago and I hate feeling left out, too. Or like I'm making things really complicated for everyone. But we have to take care of ourselves. I'm sure your friends and youthgroup wouldn't want to feel bad about it. Maybe talk to you mom and ask her to talk to your youth minister? Donuts aren't that healthy anyways :P Maybe it's time to start a new tradition! Maybe see if instead of (or in addition to) donuts they can buy a fruit bowl instead (the kind with watermelon, pineapple, cantelope etc). Or you and your mom could start making something to bring the night before to share, like gluten-free banana bread?

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Its kind of weird for me. In one respect i think its good to have this disease as it results in a overall healthier diet. But on the other side , contamination is very easy and is dangerous for us, and its also very hard. I have had for 6ish years now and i find i go through stages where is detest it. The bad thing is that in the beginning the doctors did not tell me the overall effects of it so i just kept eating gluten thinking the result would be a little sickness. I got so freaked out when i found out the opposite! At this point im going through a "i hate you disease" stage. I would so much love to have a burger or a regular pizza..or to be able to kiss my bf without being scared of cc. But i think this website helps. i just joined today and i feel a little bit better about it already.

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Order some from Kinnickinick foods in Canada- they are pretty decent, bring one with you and eat the donut.

OMG i am sooooo glad u mentioned that!! I am in the US, n i am ADDICTED 2 Kinnickinick K-toos!!!!!! :D im a really picky eater, so if u r like that i think u shuld all try it!!! :D

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